LaterNever, a naruto fanfic

May contain spoilers for recent manga chapters.

For Petitejam.

Naruto knew the difference between "later" and "never."

For him, his dreams were never impossible, never the intangible wisps of nothing that most people weave their dreams from. His aspirations were his own, and his designs on Hokage were not delusions of grandeur, but a task to be put off for "later." When he had trained enough. When he was worth enough. When Konoha forgot about the thing inside him, and focused on what he was made of, what he could do.

When he finally beat that Sasuke-bastard into the ground.

It was through knowing Sasuke that the difference was made all the more real. Uchiha Sasuke had everything he wanted; a name, the devotion of a certain rose-haired kunoichi, real, honest-to-goodness talent. He was the darling of the entire village. The prodigy of one of the proudest and most skilled ninja families to ever have lived in Konoha. Naruto couldn't have asked for anyone more suitable to focus his frustration on.

If only the bastard hadn't turned out to be so damn likable.

They coexisted like that, skittering across the line that divided best friends and worst enemies, constantly aware of themselves as they thought the other saw them. And despite the name calling and the sheer volume of stupidity and angst between the two of them, they had managed to hash out a middle ground, a medium. Hardly happy, but there is only so much a social outcast and a bitter orphan can ask for.

It worked for them, for a time. In the quiet moments when there was work to do, in the knowing glances and familiar gestures, in the comfort of simply not being alone all the time. Certainly, they annoyed the hell out of each other, but it came with the territory. And for once in their rather short lives, the territory was... nice. More than nice, though neither would ever admit to it.

With two such volatile personalities, however, there was bound to be unpleasant change on the horizon. Naruto simply shrugged off the feeling, pushing it into the "later" category, so that the uneasiness wouldn't stay at the forefront of his thoughts. He knew that the uneasiness ate at him more than anything.

Even in the days before Sasuke left for Sound, Naruto knew. He knew during their rooftop battle, their near misses with both chidori and rasengan. A stupid fight, but the catalyst for what was to come.

However, Naruto also knew that the Valley of the End was not their final goodbye, however much Sasuke thought he might have wished it at the time. Naruto knew that the hitai-ate Sasuke surrendered was not a renunciation, no matter what Sakura's crestfallen look might have said, no matter what Kakashi's distancing, and Iruka's crushing disappointment might have been interpreted as.

It was a promise. The last ounce of trust that one Uchiha Sasuke could bestow upon the boy he'd called friend. The boy he'd nearly gave his life for, once, when they were young and things weren't nearly so complicated for Sasuke. For Naruto.

That bit of faith that the Uchiha hadn't thought he'd possessed, once upon a time, before he'd found a home with Team Seven.

A home with Kakashi-sensei, with Sakura. With Naruto.

The Valley of the End was not a "never." It was a "later."

Naruto didn't really know what to expect, when Konoha's business with Orochimaru and the Akatsuki was put to rest. When he was younger, before Jiraya's cynicism and perversion had set in, he had imagined a glorious battle, ninja against ninja in one-on-one fights against Konoha's greatest threats, where the better ninja, and obviously the Konoha ninja, would come out triumphant.

Needless to say, it had not been like that.

Naruto plays chess with Kakashi every Sunday, except the times when missions keep him away.

"Your move, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto says for the fifth time that hour.

"Aa. Sorry. Just-"

"Zoned out. I know. You've been doing that more and more often lately. Anything in particular on your mind?" he asks, twirling a pawn between his thumb and forefinger, planning his next moves.

Kakashi waves his hand dismissively. "Nothing worth mentioning. Have you done anything interesting lately?"

Naruto taps his pawn against the table. "Jounin missions. Some other things. I thought it would be more interesting, the higher you got in rank, but I guess not."

"And Sasuke? How is he doing?" Kakashi asks as nonchalantly as he can.

Naruto pauses. "He's well, Kakashi-sensei. Or as well as he gets, these days." Naruto scratches the back of his head. "He's been more irritated than usual, but we're getting along fine."

"Aa." Kakashi smiles, his eye a telltale crescent. "Say, Naruto, did you bring me anything... interesting to read today?"

Naruto looks around, before reaching into his vest and pulling out a book and handing it clandestinely to his former teacher.

"Our little secret, right Naruto?" Kakashi says with as much of a wink as he's ever been able to manage.

Naruto gives him a smile, and walks from the table, waving goodbye when he reaches the front gate.

When Naruto brought Sasuke back, even Tsunade didn't have high hopes for his survival, or his sanity. Sakura had been there, fighting by Naruto's side to get to where Madara and Sasuke were squaring off. Together they plowed through Akatsuki members, Orochimaru's finest, and Konoha elite alike trying to get through the confusion to the lone platform where Madara and Sasuke were trying to kill one another.

Sakura's strangled cry upon finding the Uchiha a bloody mangled mess almost convinced Naruto that they had succeeded. The ground was as red as his eyes had been, and the once proud face that he remembered was shredded beyond recognition. If it hadn't been for the eyes, those damn bloody eyes that he'd stared into on more than one occasion, he might not even have been able to tell the difference between the two of them. They lay there, blood congealing around them, their eyes open, staring, and Madara's mouth split wide.

"Madara's dead," Naruto said, dully, far removed from the sight before him.

Sakura knelt near Sasuke, her face grim, tears pouring freely down her cheeks. Naruto stood, dimly watching the battle below, watching his allies and his enemies fight to their last breaths amidst the slaughter. Naruto felt "never" closing in around his chest, making it difficult to breathe in the heavy air.

"He's... alive," Sakura murmured, barely audible with the chaos around them.

Naruto nearly wilted in relief.

Sasuke wasn't allowed missions anymore. While he recovered, most people thought that even walking would be an impossibility, but Naruto had witnessed firsthand the sheer tenacity that Uchiha Sasuke possessed. Naruto knew that Sasuke, even with his Sharingan all but useless, was a force to be reckoned with. It was not a question of "if," but "when." And Naruto had been willing to wait for "when."

The first months were the hardest, with Sasuke awake for only hours each day, and when he was, he was irritable enough to put his former self to shame. Sakura would come to get Naruto during Sasuke's bouts of wakefulness; she was the guardian of his sleep, and he watched over Sasuke's waking hours. Team Seven's bond was fragile, but there nonetheless. It snapped the Uchiha out of his dark little moods as they came. And they came often. Sasuke was all but trapped inside his head, inside his useless body, and there were times when he would scream and convulse, strapped to his hospital bed, thin and useless and pathetic, a shadow of his former self. He was without a purpose for the first time in his life, and when Sakura and Naruto were there on his bad days, he would beg them for death and curse them for what life he was left with. They bore it in silence, and then they would hold him, arms cradling his head and torso with all the gentleness Sasuke remembered his mother possessing, and he would calm, and fall asleep.

Things improved when Sasuke was allowed to go home, under house arrest, which was a punishment in name more than anything else. Konoha welcomed their favorite son with arms wide, and few held grudges against Sasuke's defection. The Infamous Uchiha district was gradually brought to life again; not with Uchiha, of course, but Sasuke had a constant stream of well wishers, and the place was cheerier than it had been in quite some time. This is not to say Sasuke ever wanted visitors, but Naruto knew Sasuke well enough that he was always a bit happier after they had guests over. Naruto and Sakura shared caring for Sasuke between missions, training, and Sakura's duties at the hospital. The arrangement wasn't a bad one, and for the first time in many years, Naruto felt content.

It was Rock Lee who first suggested physical therapy for their comrade, and before long Tenten, Ino, Neji, Shikamaru, Chouji, Kiba, Shino, and even Kankuro and Temari, when they could find the time, were taking turns with Sasuke, showing him infinite patience and grace, even with his often less than stellar attitude.

And Sasuke improved in leaps and bounds, defying every expectation as was his way. Everyone was well aware that he would probably never reach beyond jounin level with his injuries, and Tsunade refused to promote him beyond an office working chuunin, as she was not one to forgive and forget so easily, but it brought Konoha a step closer to normalcy. Or as close to normal a ninja village ever got.

Naruto sits, dangling his feet through the spaces in one of the many bridges on the Uchiha property, letting his toes ripple the cool water of the pond absentmindedly.

"You have a mission tomorrow," the raspy voiced Uchiha says upon approaching the bridge, before taking a seat next to his friend.

"Yeah," Naruto says, admiring the way the sunlight reflects off of the scales of the fish just below the surface of the pond. "Recon. Shouldn't take too long. Um... say, Sasuke?"

The dark haired boy looks at Naruto questioningly as he clears his throat.

"Um, I..." Naruto frowns, his whisker scars creasing. He reaches into his pocket, fishing around for a moment before extending his hand to Sasuke.

"What's this?" he asks curiously.

"It's yours. From... from before. I kept it safe for you."

Sasuke takes it, looking away before Naruto can see his face, overcome with emotion, unwilling to see Naruto's do the same.

"..Thanks," Sasuke says after some time.

"No problem." Naruto chokes out.

The sun glints off the shiny metal of one slightly battered hitai-ate.

It is an incredibly hot day, and Naruto returns to Sasuke's house to check up on him, after a tiring hour and a half spent in the mission office explaining to Genma why, precisely, his mission report was four days late and smelled suspiciously like dog urine. He peels off his shirt and stands in front of the refrigerator, luxuriating in the cold, turning around when he hears Sasuke come in from outside.

"Went to train with Shikamaru," he says, leaning in the door-frame.

"Yeah, Neji told me when I saw him," Naruto replies.

Sasuke swallows thickly. "It's hot," he says, plucking at the damp material of his shirt.

"Still think you should consider air conditioning," Naruto remarks, turning back around to rummage through the fridge.

"Expensive," Sasuke grunts from the doorway.

"Cheap." Naruto says, before drinking milk directly from the carton.

Sasuke touches Naruto's shoulder as he goes to replace the milk, and Naruto jumps, startled. He laughs nervously. "Eh heh, sorry. Bad manners. Gotta remember to do that when you're not around. Musta let my guard down."

Naruto remembers the day he entered the academy as a genin with clarity, not only because it was a very important and monumental day, but also because, try as he might, he can't forget that unfortunate accidental first kiss, no matter how many times he doused his mouth with generic mouth wash, and when that was done, liquid hand soap. When he was younger he found the whole thing mortifying, but with time the memory just became another one of those awkward things that seemed destined to happen to him; to be lived through, learned from, and then looked back on with some fondness, as it had ended up the foundation of their loathe/hate preteen relationship.

As he stands there, shirtless in Sasuke's kitchen, his lips quirked up in an amused grin, his gaze darts down to his friend's lips. "Hey, Sasuke do you remember after the genin exam, when we were facing off and-"

Sasuke closes the distance between their lips, and Naruto can't breathe.

It wouldn't be until hours later, half dozing in the late afternoon sunlight of Sasuke's bedroom that he remembers how to again.

"You seem much happier lately, Naruto. Has Tsunade said anything to you?" Iruka asks, digging into the loose soil with a rake, absently leaning down to pluck some weeds from his modest garden.

Naruto laughs, scratching the back of his head and accidentally rubbing dirt into his hair. "Naw, nothing like that. Things have just... been going well. Gotten a lot more interesting."

Iruka hands Naruto a seed packet, and begins poking small holes into the ground, looking amused. "Nothing at all to do with how much time I hear you spend over in the Uchiha District now?"

Naruto's faint blush doesn't go unnoticed by his teacher. "Iruka-sensei..." he begins, worried for Iruka's well being.

Iruka sits back on his haunches, looking up at Naruto. His eyes are sadder, older than Naruto remembers, but there is a gleam of amusement and love there, just for him. "Come on Naruto, you don't honestly think I begrudge you your happiness, do you?" Iruka stands, picking up the rake and leaving Naruto to plant the rest of the row. "Or are you afraid I wouldn't approve? You think I'm some kind of hypocrite?" Iruka nudges Naruto in the shoulder with his knee. "Hurry up there, and help me repot these things over here, and then I'll make us some lunch."

A short time later, Naruto slurps his yakisoba thoughtfully, sitting at Iruka's kitchen table. "How come you knew the moment I showed up, anyway?"

Iruka snickers. "Naruto, I've known you since before you knew what chakra was. You and Sasuke have been dancing around this thing for ages. Even though I kind of hoped you'd end up settling down with someone more... normal. But then, you're both pretty far from normal, huh?" He turns, setting down a bowl for himself and another for Naruto. "Besides, the rings under your eyes and the worry lines on your forehead have mysteriously disappeared. You've been sleeping. You look relaxed." Iruka gathers the noodles up on his chopsticks, adding as an afterthought, "You look like you've gotten laid."

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto stammers, barely avoiding knocking his bowl over.

"What? Hey, I was the one who gave taught you sex-ed. I am perfectly qualified-"

"Oh yeah, well I am perfectly scarred for life here! You can't just- Iruka-sensei! This is so embarrassing!" Naruto buries his already crimson face in his arms, sitting with his head against the table.

Iruka smiles mischeviously. "If you're not comfortable talking to me, who else can you go talk to?"

"I could always ask Ka-," Naruto begins, but then he remembers and clamps his mouth shut, trying to ignore the way Iruka's lips twitch downward. "Okay, so I guess I can't talk to anybody else. That doesn't- I mean- It's just weird, is all!"

Iruka sets down two steaming glasses of tea, staring pensively down into his own cup. "You know, when I was your age I had way, way more experience than-"

Naruto covers his ears, yelling "LA LA LA LA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU! LALALA!"

Iruka gently tugs at his jacket, looking at him seriously, and he lowers his arms. "I'm just saying. It's nice, if you've both finally realized what you feel for each other. Just... be careful."

Naruto goes back to chewing his lukewarm noodles. "Well it's not like we're not using protection and everyth-"

"Not. What I meant." Iruka adds, exasperated.

Naruto looks up at his teacher and Iruka looks away, directing his comments to the window across the room. "You've never been with anybody else. You've been chasing after each other for years. Just don't try to rush things, or force things, and be aware of both of your needs." Iruka looks back at Naruto, then takes a sip of his tea. "Be happy with where you are, okay? You might- you might not have time for stability, and you and he... he might get a little jealous of where you are and you might get a little frustrated with where he is, but just remember that as a ninja, you might not have as much time as you expect to get."

Naruto takes Iruka's hand, and squeezes. "Guess this wouldn't be the best time for me to tell you that Genma is still begging for you to come back to the mission office, even if it's just a part time thing?"

Iruka shakes his head. "It's simpler living on the outskirts of the village. Even if my early retirement was a little forced... I can be happy here."

"But, well, doesn't it get lonely? Okay, duh and stuff, but... hey, maybe you could get a do- err, a cat! Maybe you could get a cat or a duck or something." Naruto runs a hand through his hair, feeling awkward.

Iruka snorts, picking up their lunch dishes. "I like my peace and quiet now, after teaching so many loudmouthed brats for so long. Besides. You know I've always been a dog person."

They don't speak, but Naruto helps with the dishes and walks back outside to put the garden tools back in their shed.

"I've got a mission tomorrow, Iruka-sensei, but I'll see you again soon!" He says as he heads for the door.

"You know Naruto, you don't have to keep calling me sensei. You haven't been my pupil for years now."

Naruto pauses with his hand on the doorknob. "I'll stop calling you sensei when you stop teaching me things. Bye, Iruka-sensei."

Iruka watches Naruto ascend into the trees, and he chuckles at his student, before calling into the air "Hey, don't forget to give my best to Sasuke and Sakura!"

From the cover of the forest, a distant voice calls "I always do!"

Naruto returns from his mission to find Sasuke has gone out training with the Hyuuga, and he makes his way to the shower, exhausted, caked with mud and God-knows-what-else, and a little disappointed at the lack of patented Uchiha sarcasm-laced-with-concern that he's come to expect from Sasuke. His clothes land in a wet heap in the corner of the bathroom, and he steps under the hot spray, sighing with relief, before taking Sasuke's soap and shampoo and scrubbing himself down. He can hear someone downstairs, and he pushes the shower curtain aside and pads across the room, getting water everywhere, before opening the door. "Oy, Sasuke, I'm upstairs!"

Returning to the shower stall, he's surprised when he hears the soft click of the latch, and he gently moves the curtain aside to see Sasuke standing in the doorway with a look on his face Naruto's never seen before.

"Naruto-" he begins, but whatever it is he is going to say dies on his lips, as he redirects his gaze to the floor.

Naruto quirks an eyebrow at him, unused to any embarrassment on Sasuke's part, and assumes that they are about to have one of those Conversations where either he will storm off, or someone will end up with their head through a wall. He discovers it is neither, as Sasuke seems to come to a decision and instead crosses the room and shoves him back underneath the spray, stepping in beside him, clothes and all.

Naruto fumbles with Sasuke's chuunin vest, tugging at the sopping layers of material as Sasuke buries his face against Naruto's shoulder, mouthing against the skin there, insistently fisting Naruto's cock. Sasuke's hands are callused from training, and Naruto abandons his attentions to his infuriating shirts and instead undoes Sasuke's pants, pushing them thickly down his hips until they catch against the bandages tied against his upper thighs. Too far gone for anything more elaborate, Naruto runs his knuckles lightly along Sasuke's penis, before slipping it inside his grip and pressing closer, matching Sasuke's pace. His mouth is fused to Sasuke's as they bring each other off, frantic, desperate.

"Do you have to get water all over everything?" Sasuke asks, a little over an hour later, as he delicately wraps a towel around his waist, gesturing to the cold pools of water near the bathroom door disdainfully.

Naruto makes a face, before ignoring the towels altogether and sidestepping Sasuke. "Yes." He says, trailing water down the length of the hallway.

"You're as bad at this as ever, sensei." Kakashi says, moving his pieces about the board with an expertise he had not exhibited the last time Naruto visited.

"Well some of us have to work for our genius," Naruto grouses.

"Obito was by. Earlier. He looks different. And his hair is completely stupid, he got mad when I told him. But Rin hasn't. I mean, it's been weeks since... Actually, I don't remember the last time Rin-"

Naruto cuts him off, taking a knight with one of his last surviving pawns. "Long term mission. She's been gone for months. Regular reports though, I swear."

"Oh." Kakashi says. "Oh. Checkmate, Minato-sensei."

Naruto smiles, a gracious loser, as Kakashi reassembles the pieces for another game.

"Naruto. Sit." Tsunade gestures, Naruto complies.

"Baa-chan?" He begins, sensing that this is something different.

She leans back, looking weary, as she sips absentmindedly from a chipped, well loved sake cup, an old gift from Shizune, if Naruto remembers correctly.

"I am not going to be Hokage for very much longer." She holds up her hand for silence, as Naruto looks as though he's about to cut in. "Last week, I presented you as my choice for successor to the council. I... my request was unanimously denied."

Naruto's heart caught in his throat.

"I'm not surprised. I was more surprised at who they not-so-subtly suggested, but-"

"Who?" Naruto choked.

Her mouth twisted, and she looked away. "Uchiha."

Something dark and consuming claws at his insides.

"I told them that under no circumstances would I allow it. Take it or leave it, that brat's stuck as a chuunin for the rest of my life at least. But... Naruto."

He stands to leave, overwhelmed.

"Naruto! Sit down!" He sits, but his knuckles are white as he grips the arms of his chair. "The council's all my age, if not older. I know, I know, people like that tend to live forever, but... take comfort in the fact that those old bastards will have to die sooner or later, and think of this development as, as a roadblock. You'll just have to have a little more patience."

"Is that all?" He asks, tersely.

"No," she replies with an exasperated look, "it's not all. I am promoting you to ANBU captain."

"What the hell-"

"And you have three months to decide who the next Hokage will be. I figure if I can't choose who I want, I'll let who I want choose for me."

"Great." Naruto says, shaking. "I get to decide who to live my dream through. Why not just pick the Uchiha bastard and get it over with. With his track record I'm sure he'll make a phenomenal Hokage. Actually, while we're at it I was thinking he could run for Daimyo and-"

"Brat. Do you even hear what you sound like?"

"You should be proud I haven't rasengan'd anything in your office," he snarls.

"I am. Proud."

Naruto stares at his hands.

"For someone who's faced off against staggeringly powerful adversaries and incredible odds, and come through time after time, you'd think you wouldn't give up in the, albeit terrifying, face of Konoha bureaucracy."

"It's hard to swallow," he says, and it is.

"Sake?" she offers.

"I'll kill them." Iruka says, and Naruto is well aware that, given encouragement, Iruka-sensei would storm the council of elders, in all his aproned, spatula wielding glory, and deliver on that promise.

"Tsunade-baa-chan says they're going to die anyhow, so I might as well just sit back and watch."

"She would say that," he chuckles, but the lines around his eyes worry for Naruto.

"Don't. Feel bad about it." Naruto says, tracing the lines in the tabletop with his fingers. Iruka divvies out their omelets and sets a plate in front of Naruto.

"I wouldn't know what to do with my time, not worrying. I would have to take up a hobby. Flower arranging? Bookkeeping? Beekeeping?" He takes a bite, resting his chin on his hand and looking out the window. The midday sunlight is streaming through the glass, and the kitchen faintly glows with comfort.

"Beekeeping." Naruto says between bites. "I like it. Between teaching a couple dozen pre-genin and dealing with thousands of hive-minded stinging insects and their various secretions-"

"Insects." They both say at once.

"What's wrong with Kakashi-sensei?" Sasuke asks, face a blank mask as he sits at the table, gently turning a teacup in his hands.

"Yeah, he mentioned you dropped by," Naruto begins, but is interrupted.

Dark eyes focus on him, simmering in the quiet fury only Sasuke has mastered. "Funny, no one ever mentioned to me that Kakashi-sensei was alive. But good to know you've been getting your regular visits in. Why is he in that place." A demand, not a question.

Naruto sighs, and sits at the table. "Iruka-sensei's dead."

Sasuke freezes, and scowls. "You saw Iruka-sensei yesterday. He sent you here with dinner."

Naruto waves his hands. "Yeah, I know. But. Listen, during the- before. With the Akatsuki, when everything was... Kakashi-sensei ended up getting caught up in some nasty genjutsu. I mean, he was already in really bad shape physically, but... Anyway. He thinks Iruka-sensei died. Tsunade tried everything. I mean, everything, but she couldn't do anything in time, it would have taken... special talent. To undo it. After his stay in the hospital, he would see Iruka-sensei and- Things were bad. Really bad. And Kakashi's mind... wanders now, so he needs to be in a place where people can keep an eye on him."

"Special talent." Sasuke says, pained. "Like the Sharingan."

"I wanted you to know. Everyone else though... though it might go bad. For both of you."

"He wasn't... himself. When I was there. He called me-"

"By his genin teammate's name, yeah, he'll do that."

"What does he call you?" Sasuke asks, calmer now.

"My dad's name." Naruto says, the concept of having had a father still foreign on his tongue, and Sasuke shoots him a sympathetic gaze.

"Is that why-"

"Iruka-sensei has to live so far away? Yeah. Kakashi went ballistic last time, thought he was some kind of jutsu, and his Sharingan is essentially useless but he tried to activate it anyway, and..."

"Where was I?"

"Comatose. Like half the people I knew at the time."

Naruto pours himself some tea, and nearly topples the cup when soft lips descend on him gently, and a pale hand covers his own.

"Sakura," Naruto begins, sitting across from her and next to Sasuke in a booth at Icharaku's new shop. "How did that happen again?"

Sakura looks incensed, fingering her blue hair, before visibly deflating and saying with a sigh, "Pre-Genin. I was a guest lecturer when they were going over practical medical jutsu. Asuma's kid, I swear to all that is holy-"

"Is that why," Sasuke drawls, "that all the third year pre-genin left class with green hair?"

Sakura flushes pink. "Actually, that was a little payback on my part. But I think they secretly enjoyed it, and the teachers have gotten enough complaints from the parents that they've formally petitioned the Hokage that I never go back to instruct there ever again." She smiles. "I think I can live with the hair for a little, given the positive outcome."

Sasuke snorts, and Naruto laughs outright. The door opens, and a civilian and his girlfriend sidle into the booth adjacent to theirs, as a new waitress brings Team 7 their respective orders.

"Sakura," Naruto says, between slurps. "I told Tsunade to petition the council on your behalf." He waves a hand at the proprietor for another round of ramen. "She did this morning, and the request was approved, so uh, Congratulations. Hokage-sama."

Sasuke next to him tenses, and under the table, Naruto puts a hand on his thigh and squeezes in a reassuring gesture.

Sakura is dumbstruck. "Naruto- I- I-"

"I think," Naruto says, finishing off his first bowl and shooting her a genuine smile, "That you'll be really good at it."

"Naruto!" Kakashi says, visible eye a happy crescent as he waves his bandaged hands from the infirmary bed where he is resting. Iruka is sitting just outside the door, taking comfort in the sound of Kakashi's voice, because it's as close as regulations allow. He almost didn't come, but relented at Naruto's request.

"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto says, "What did you do?"

Clumsily, Kakashi produces the last book Naruto left him from its hiding place between the mattress, and he begins searching pages until he finds what he's looking for. "Here, Naruto. I just thought, I mean doesn't this look just like Iruka-sensei?" His face has that old pain in it, and Naruto feels like an idiot for forgetting about Jiraya's "inspiration" for one of the sannin's last novels.

"It does. Look like him." Kakashi's face looks sane, and so expressive since they won't let him have the mask, and Naruto knows that today is one of his good days.

"I'm happy for you," Kakashi says, suddenly. "Sasuke stopped by, earlier."

Naruto blushes. "Sakura said she'd come by too, but she's been so busy with-"

"I mean," Kakashi says. "I'm really happy for you. I know nothing's been easy in Konoha. And I... know that you know I hate it here, but sometimes, sometimes I see him, like he's really here, and-"

"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto interrupts. "If... if anything happened to- I'm not trying to- Hey, sensei?"

Kakashi looks at him, setting the book down in his lap. Naruto stares out the window, watching an orderly walk with a recovering patient around the small circular path surrounding the facility. "If you could choose, would you rather be haunted by the ghost of somebody you lost, or would you rather be alone?"

He smiles a self deprecating smile, and says "I don't know the difference between the memories I have of him, and the memories I've made up. But in my head, they're still the only places I'm happy."

"And what if he is... alive? But you just think he isn't."

Kakashi pauses. "Well, then he's real. And I can go home. Or he isn't, and nothing is. But if that's true, then I guess it doesn't matter if he's real or not. If I can still see him, it's enough."

With a stagger, Iruka stands nervously in the doorway, his hands gripping the frame for support.

"Yo, Iruka-sensei." Kakashi waves.

Naruto grins, putting a hand on Kakashi's shoulder. "Don't worry. I see him too."

Naruto knows the difference between "later" and "never." It's just as well that he doesn't give "never" much thought.