You wonder the streets alone. Always alone. Its okay for once; you're used to it by now. But yet there is the hope in your heart that someone is waiting to be with you. You know some one is waiting for you your just hoping there is someone to past the time. Some one to be with until you can be with Him.
Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it ok
Then you feel guilty for wanting to use someone like that. You shouldn't. But you still hope.
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
There is no home anymore. Not since they all left. With out you. They all left. Whether they left willingly or not you are still alone. Pushing the door to the inn open takes so much strength. You wonder when it will get easier. But you know that it won't. Your heavy heart takes so much out of you, it's a wonder you can even breathe. Yet, some how you do.
I need some distraction, oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
They make me empty and weightless, and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
Remembering hurts. The rush of smiles and laughter, bitter tears and anguish heartbreak, heart pounding adventures and exhilarating feelings of passion. Swirls of freckles and red hair. Broom sticks and lightning bolt scars. Bushy brown hair and endless hours in the library. Tall castles and countless beasts. And that night. That night that haunts you even in the day. I won't leave you alone; it can't for it's who you are. It's a heavy burden but you know it has to be you. Who else is strong enough? As much as you want to blame Him for this, you know its destiny. And you fall asleep.
In the arms of an Angel, fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
And you dream. You dream the same dream every night. For it is this dream that makes you throw your legs over the side of the bed and take a deep breath every morning when nature wakes you up in spite. They are all there. Your parents: your mother hugs you tightly while your father admires you with great pride. They tell you how strong you are and how important you are to them. They tell you they are proud. Bill is there too. He rubs the top of your head messing up your hair. You used to hate that but now you miss it and welcome it. He is also proud and he smiles while Fleur looks on smiling also with an infant her hip cueing happily. Charlie picks you up and spins you around like he used to when you were younger. He notes how big you're getting and how much more beautiful you're getting with each day. He says he wishes he were there to protect you even though you both know you don't need it. Percy, still as regal as he always thought himself to be, shakes your hand and puts his hand on your shoulder. He tells you to just keep going. That you can do it. The twins make you laugh as they lift you up. They tell you to smile more and that it passes the time faster than any companion could. And then there is Ron. Your favorite sibling. He hugs you warmly. He tells you how much he misses you and how he wishes that you weren't so sad. He says that even though far away, he still has to approve any guy that will be self-righteous enough to call himself yours. But you both now that you cant have another guy. Hermione rushes to you squealing and giggling like you used to. She complains about Phlegm like you always did and she tells you about how hard it is to put up with her and Ronald. She complains about Ron but everyone knows they are helplessly in love for they don't hide it anymore. He gave his life for her. That's got to count for something. You laugh and agree but secretly envy her. And then He is there.
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
He is not smiling but he is not sad. His eyes speak the world while he is speechless. He pulls you into his arms and out of your lonely world. Although you have heard it many times already, when he says to keep going, you know that some how you can make it. And when he says that you look beautiful you know that you must be doing something right. And when he tells you that everything will be okay, you know that things will work themselves out and despite all things, you will end up happy. His smile sparks hope in your heart and his lips against yours ignite a roaring fire of strength, bravery, and hope.
You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here
And they all wave and smile as you leave. You smile back for you know that this is how you knew it always would be. You're not the physical fighter that they all were. And now you were where you always mentally told yourself you would wind up being. Alone. But you're used to it.
So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And you're awake again. The sunshine rays tickle your face. And as fast as you realized it was there, the smile you woke up with is gone. Today you know you have to do what you always meant to do were not strong enough to. But something about today was different. Was it the shinning sun? Or the beautiful whether? The chirping birds? No. It was the thirty first of July. It was the warm feeling around her waist where his arms had been the night before. She could do this. She could do it.
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
You try on the smile that you promised Fred and George but it doesn't feel the same. But you'll get used to it. You are determined to find the beauty of the day and make the fake smile real. For Fred and George. For all of them. For him.
It don't make no difference, escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
Convincing yourself that this will make it better for you is hard. Going home will be hard but it will make it easier in the long run. Wont it?
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness
You're not totally helpless. Aren't you?
That brings me to my knees
You push the door to the Burrow open and immediately the memories seem to tackle you, still you manage to hold your self up right. You have never seen it so bare or quite, and then you realize that they are gone. That your dreams are your heart songs and tomorrow they will be gone too. You walk inside and smile for you realize that the memories that were created in this house are those small strings that keep you connected to your friends and your family. And to your Harry. Those memories created are what made you stronger and braver and it was those memories and your past experiences alone. Not your dreams. Memories are what give you strength to be able to keep yourself upright. To keep waiting patiently. You walk into the kitchen that is sinfully quiet. No good smelling meals being cooked. No laughter of your brothers. No private conversations that you so dearly longed to be apart of from the trio. No loud bangs from the twins or the gentle chuckle from your father. You smile as you remember your mothers caring scoldings directed at the twins. The painfully long rows between Ron and Hermione. The love filled smiles Harry used to flash you at lunch after you had just spent a lovely morning under the large tree in the back. The embarrassing lectures from your oldest brothers about your love life.You touch the table, the pots and pans, the sink, and everything in the favorite room of your mothers. It's too hard to look at the bedrooms so you go outside in the field you claimed as your own.
In the arms of an Angel, far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
Right now you feel save and okay. Okay like he promised. Stronger like he promised. He almost always kept his promises; except he didn't come home. But all is forgiven because he apologized: in his hugs and kisses in your dreams every night. Being mad would be selfish. Needing him would be even more selfish. He said you would be fine and you were strong. So you can do it. You can truly be happy and genuinely smile. Yet you know you promise yourself this everyday.
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
Still tonight the weight of the day will break you down and pushing open the door to the next inn you stay at will be hard but for now as you stare up the sky. You wont diminish the hope yet. Instead you make plans. Tonight you will have dinner celebrating His birthday. You will call Luna and ask to be her roommate so you have some sort of companionship. You will get a job as an arrour and make up for lost fighting time. You will make close friends. Even though none of them could hold a candle to Hermione. You will marry one of those close friends even though they couldn't love like Harry. You'll have lovely family dinners still none of them could compare to the family dinners that Weasley's used to have. But you will be okay. Like he promised.
In the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here
Your family still graces your dreams every night. Yet now you make them promise that they will still be waiting. Like you wait for them everyday. But you're used to it by now.