" Hey pops... Let's do it now" a familiar young fifteen year old red head exclaimed as he glared at the towering thirty eight year old in front of him. He had a confident smile plastered on his face while the older gentleman could barely even keep an eye open alongside his crossed arms. The man with a deeper shade of red for hair only chuckled as a response to the youngster's sheer determination.

"Well... I guess there isn't helping it when you look like that..." He smirked as he continued with,

"Alright, what do you want this battle to be about? Deliciousness or the other one? " Jouichiro said as he proceeded to stand up from the kotatsu he and his son were sharing to stretch his surprisingly well maintained body.

The other could only grin as if he were already sure of the outcome, he suddenly stood up from where he was seated and then proceeded to expertly rip off the white bandana that was covering his left wrist. He then went on and placed that said bandana onto his forehead and continued by pointing his thumb over his chest while looking at his father's proud stature before spouting out the words " Old man, Get ready to crown me king of this fight because I'll definitely defeat you this time with my Yukihira styled pickled sardines banana surprise!" with that his yellow eyes shone like fresh gold under the moon light as an uncharacteristic glimmer twinkled at the fangs of his exposed teeth.

As if he were the wind Jouichiro proceeded to ignore what his son said and merely stated "Well, just don't cry when you lose to me again" with that he gave off a warm smile then got his favourite apron from the hook that it was hanging from before he proceeded to walk toward their kitchen.

"THAT NEVER HAPPENED! I TOLD YOU I GOT ONION JUICE IN MY EYE THAT TIME!" He could faintly hear the protest his son made from the other room and that only served as a kind of pleasure for him, since he always liked riling up his son whether it was for inspiration or just for his own kicks, either way it was working and he was happy about it.

"Whatever whatever, just get your butt over here or else the time you finish your dish mine will get cold..." He continued to say through close lidded eyes as he ran his fingers through his soft maroon hair and stretched it out before proceeding to tie it.

He could only hear the faint patter of his sons footsteps, before he grabbed a hold of his knife and started with a thought.

'Let's begin.'

With that the slight sizzle of garlic and the sweet aroma of onions filled the air, and with that the food war began.

An hour passed, and it was finally done, the two were finally done cooking and ready to present their dishes to their usually unsuspecting victim. Souma, prepared what he had declared a while ago, which was a pickled sardine that was firstly fermented over the course of its existence then pickled with vinegar then seasoned with fish sauce and then partnered with a mixture of slightly creamed bananas and durian paste. It gave off a putrid smell unlike any other; with its acidic sour smell coming from the pickled sardine accompanied by the sweet and unique smell of the bananas and durian paste. The texture was slimy and creamy all at the same time, there were visible lumps of the mashed bananas still protruding from afar that only served as a benefitting factor to its grossness. Its sight was also not befitting to that for human eyes, for the sight would be enough to send even strong men crying home to their mothers. It had a unique design with the pickled fish cut open from its abdomen up and then in the slit laid the hybrid of banana and durian.

Truly the dish was that to be feared, and yet also marvelled. Sure it was gross, but its grossness was in a way that has some personality to it, as if it was saying that " I'm gross, but I'm a piece of art, because only the sickest of mind can come up with something like me" It said so many vile symphonies in its existence alone, and that well, if Souma hadn't created it for the sole purpose of defeating his dad, he would never entertain such a lewd perversion. He was sick to his stomach, but proud, proud of the monster that would finally take down his greatest rival.

"hmmm? Wow... an impressive display..." Jouichiro could only state as he rubbed the tip of his chin with his thumb and index finger.

He was rather impressed he really hadn't expected that his son would have thought that much out of the box to create such a beautiful beast. If he didnt know any better, he would have been quaking with fear, but of course he knew better so he had nothing to worry about.

'Ding' the timer near the over set off a soft but alarming sound that signified Jouichiro's victory.

"Oh it's done..." the pony tailed man exclaimed with an almost unenthusiastic tone as he timidly walked over at the oven that was by his left.

He then soon opened the oven and like a magic explosion, the room soon filled with a sewer like smell that permeated and coated the room. It was so thick that it felt like Souma had just received a punch from a rotting corpse that wore 3 day old gym socks on his hands for gloves.

"What's with that smell old man? It smells like you just killed someone... wait... you didnt kill anyone right? " he then looked at his father who was now holding what looks like a tray of some kind of entrails.

" shut up... it's my dish of course" the man who loomed over the smaller boy said casually as he started to plate what seemed like death on a plate.

When he was finished plating Souma was taken aback of what he saw, because what he saw was the complete negation of what he smelled. He saw a perfectly baked and sliced roll of what seemed like squid with avocado and what seemed like purple mashed potatoes. In the avocado, there seemed to be some sort of cubed cheese that gleamed inside and in between the seemingly purple mashed potatoes and cheesy avocado was a ideal colored golden meat, and at the top was an unknown red paste.

Now to some people the looks of this dish was good enough to excuse the foul smell that it originally had from the moment Jouichiro took it out of the oven, but Souma knew better than to trust his father when it came to cooking. He knew for a fact that when it came to his dad, anything could happen.

"Well then, what are we waiting for? " Jouichiro said as he now took off his apron and hung it back on the wall, before sitting down to join his son for their battle taste off.

Naturally how it worked was that both of them would make a dish and there would be an outside party to taste it in order to make a clear and non biased judgement, but seeing as it was already eleven in the evening and it was a weekday, they could bet that no one's available. So in special cases like these they would have no choice but taste the others cooking and critique it themselves.

"Okay, I'll go first... seeing as I won the last time" Jouichiro said as he then broke a pair of chopsticks and proceeded to pick a piece of the banana and durian covered fish before he eating the said piece.

"Mazuuuuiii!" was the only thing that Jouichiro could say as he tasted the repulsive monstrous cooking his son made. The flavours didnt go well at all, the sourness of the pickled fish and the sweetness of the now honey induced banana cream and the unique flavour of the durian paste fought in his mouth, like how a snail would fight to the death against a frog and a rabbit. It was utterly terrible.

Hearing those words escape his father's mouth made Souma smile, for his father to actually make a reaction that strong it must have meant that his dish was really that bad.

"Ne, its bad right pops! Hahaha , It's so digusting that I even feel like puking and I made it... hahaha" Souma gave out a chuckle as he almost jumped for joy at the thought of him winning this contest, when he looked down at his own plate and realized the marvellous beauty that was presented to him was that of a trickster and was probably going to take him into a horror induced ride.

Although that was the case, Souma took a deep breath, broke the chopsticks he had prepared and then proceeded to pick up and consume the perfectly sliced squid rolls, and the moment he ate one, he knew he had lost.

Just as Souma thought, what seemed like a perfectly delectable meal turned out to be one from his worst nightmares. Indeed the outer layer was squid, but that wasn't the noxious part, but rather, what was inside and ontop of the wrapper. Firstly the cheese in the avocado was not cheese, but rather small chunks of ginger that gave the strong herbal smell and spice to the dish. The once was thought to be purple mashed potato was indeed squash that was soaked with squid ink. The perfectly golden meat in the middle wasn't any ordinary meat, but rather pickled baked pigs feet, and the kicker, the red paste that topped the beautifully set rolls, congealed pork blood softened with olive oil.

Souma was in a state of paralysis, never had he tasted anything so cruel and soul crushing as this dish. It talked of too many takes of woe and it was presented as a innocent child. It was too ruthless of a flavour and sight, it was like tasting the kiss of a mermaid, that also happened to be your grandma. It had no mercy to its taster, it subdued them to a point of complete submission, cruel, pitiless, unrelenting submission.

"...M...M..Ma-...Ma..zu..i..." Was the last thing Souma said as he then soon collapsed to the ground.

When Souma finally came through, he wasn't surprised that he was back at their shared futon with what seemed like a damp rag over at his head.

"Oh you're finally awake..." His father exclaimed as he glanced as he son. "Here.. " He continued as he placed down the cup that seemed to have green tea in it.

Souma of course took the gesture and immediately sat up to drink the said tea.

"You should really strengthen your gut more if you want to defeat me in a grossness contest" Jouichiro stated as he sat down next to his beloved son.

Souma only nodded as he looked up at his father with awe and an unfamiliar softness in his eyes. It was his first time fainting over the foulness of his dads food, but it's been a long while since he ever felt like a son to his dad again, since they don't really communicate much outside of cooking and the restaurant and his dad usually treats him as an employee.

"oh and..." The longhaired man said as looked at his sons eyes, matching the softness it had with his own "Once you're feeling up to it, Go clean your dishes, they're gonna stain if you dont..."