I was re-watching some of the episodes from the Soul Society Arc where the lot of them are all running round in circles looking for Ichigo and this silly little idea came to me. Hope you enjoy! ^_^
The Vice Captain's sense of direction was infamous, legendary even. It was well known even outside the confines of Squad Eleven that if you followed Yachiru's directions you would get nowhere fast, especially not the place you wanted to be. Her lack of sense of direction was almost rivalled by that of her Captain, who not only lacked any skills in the area, but would unfailingly follow his Vice Captain's directions, even if given conflicting ones by other, more reliable, individuals. In the event of an argument around the issue, which when you put Ikkaku and Yachiru together, almost invariably happened, the Captain simply ignored the both of them and would follow his instincts.
Needless to say, those on missions with Zaraki Kenpachi had taken to carrying around maps, and his fellow Captains just left him to his own devices.
Yes, the sense of direction in the higher ranks of eleventh squad was legendary...but this was just ridiculous.
Yumichika peered at the map spread out before him. He looked up at the landscape. He looked back down at the map. Finally he announced, "We're not actually on the map any more."
"What? Don't be ridiculous!" Ikkaku snatched the map and glared at it. "Its huge, how could we not be on it?"
"We were moving rather fast," Yumichika lowered his voice tactfully, "and I suspect in completely the wrong direction."
Unfortunately Ikkaku neither possessed nor saw the point of tact in this situation. "Arrg! I knew this would happen!" He pointed accusingly at Yachiru, who was fuming on Kenpachi's shoulder. "Every time she goes 'this way this way!' and we follow, and every time this happens! No wonder we never get to fight anything, we never get there in time!"
Yumichika coughed and edged away from Ikkaku, pulling the map with him so it wouldn't be damaged. Ikkaku never learned; it was far better to retrieve the situation quietly and without fuss than to rant at the girl, who Kenpachi had never quite been able to train out of biting people. A yelp a few seconds later proved him right as Yachiru launched herself at the unfortunate Shinigami, clawing at his face.
Ignoring the screams and profanities he turned back to the map, trying to work out what side they had wandered off as Kenpachi finally moved into action and pulled the struggling Yachiru from Ikkaku, depositing her onto his shoulder. "Leave it, Yumichika." The large Captain grinned as he received quizzical looks all round. "I figure...if we keep moving long enough we should run into something right? Don't matter if its the right thing."
As their Captain strode off Ikkaku and Yumichika looked at each other and shrugged. It did make sense, in a rather twisted way, and at this point, that was more than good enough for them.
As always - love to hear what you think! 3