Schoolgirl Alchemist

by: Special K aka the Chewing Gum Alchemist

Note: I did not create FMA or any of the characters... of course!

Other note: Sorry about all the confusion with this fic! Thanks for putting up with me!

Chapter 1

Edward Elric wandered down a busy street in Central, his hands shoved in his pockets. He stared blankly at the ground beneath him as he shuffled onward. His brother Alphonse walked behind him silently, his brother's coat draped over his arm. Al was full of questions but remained silent, for the look on his older brother's face said it all. The two boys were about to pay a visit to the colonel. Ed yawned and covered his mouth with his automail hand, the metal shining in the bright sunlight. It was 8:00 AM - a bit too early for Ed.

"Brother?" Al began, his voice echoing off of the hollow armor. "Why are we going to see the colonel?"

Ed turned and faced his brother with a raised eyebrow. "I never said we were going to see Mustang."

"Well... aren't we?" Al asked.

"Yeah, he said he had a mission for me," Ed said as he turned back around and started walking again. Al knew that Ed hated to get up this early, but the fact that he got up for Colonel Mustang made it even worse. Al stared down at his brother while he wondered where the mission would lead them this time. Finally the two boys reached the military headquarters. They wandered through the halls until they found the colonel's office. Ed sighed as he knocked on the door loudly.

"Come in," a masculine voice called from inside the room. Ed and Al entered the room to find Colonel Roy Mustang sitting at his desk. His dark eyes followed the boys as they sat down in the chairs on the opposite side of the desk.

"What do you want? Let's just get it over with already..." Ed said, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Nice to see you too, Fullmetal," Mustang replied with a smile.

"Please excuse him, Colonel, he's just tired," Al said in Ed's defense. Ed mumbled something that was inaudible to any of them and sunk down deeper in the chair.

"I can see that, Al," Mustang said while placing his hands on the desk, "but that isn't an excuse for quitting this mission."

"So what are you laying on me this time?" Ed asked before brushing his bangs out of his eyes.

"Here," the colonel handed Ed a small stack of papers, smiling as he did. Ed read the first page quickly and looked up when he was done.

"Vital military documents have gone missing?" Ed asked. "Doesn't sound like your sort of problem."

"No, but it sounds like yours," Mustang said. "Those documents are on the Philosopher's Stone, and I need you to recover them asap."

"Fine. Where do I go?" Ed said reluctantly, laying the papers on the desk as he spoke.

A large smile crossed Mustang's face as he said, "St. Helen's School for Girls." These words seemed to wake Ed up, for his eyes widened.

"Say WHAT?" he said loudly.

"You heard me, Fullmetal. It's a strict all-girls school in the west, and you'll be going there to get these documents," Mustang said calmly. "I've enrolled you already, so there's no backing out now."

"What about me, Colonel?" Al asked. "Can I go with Brother?"

"I'm afraid not," Mustang said, his gaze turning to Al. "Ed will have to stay in a girl's dorm, and there's no way we can pass you off as a girl."

"Yet you can pass ME off as a girl!" Ed said angrily.

"Of course," Mustang replied. "Just look at your hair. I mean, it's only past your shoulders..."

"That's not the point!" Ed argued, standing up.

"Wait a minute, Colonel," Al said. "Brother may be able to pull off a girl's look, but when it comes to acting like a girl, he's hopeless!"

"True..." Mustang said. "That's why Lieutenant Hawkeye will be teaching you for the next few days. By the end of this week, you'll be a real girl, Fullmetal."

"You're joking, right? This is all just a bad dream..." Ed mumbled to himself. The door behind him opened, and he turned to see Riza Hawkeye enter the room. She had a large bag in her hands and a small smile on her face.

"Are you ready, Edward?" she asked cheerfully. Ed stared at her with his mouth open.

"You CAN'T be serious!" Ed yelled before Lieutenant Hawkeye took him by the arm and pulled him towards the door.