(Real time)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

It's been a very long time since I lost Athrun. I don't know what to think anymore. Except that I should move on. Kira and Lacus kept on giving me these looks of pity. But as time went by they finally noticed that I didn't want to be pitied. It only made me feel even guiltier than I already was. I can't believe how that incident changed me. I'm not as confident as I was before. But I'm sure things will go back the way it was, someday…

Yesterday I had another meeting with ORB. It didn't go very well, especially since in the end they decided I was to be wedded to an arrogant jerk that's ten years older than me. I wanted to cry right on the spot. And I'm sure I would've. That is, if I wasn't princess. I don't like going to meetings. It reminds me of my father. I miss him so much. I wish he could be here to tell me how stupid I was to let Athrun go. But even if he was here, he wouldn't have said that.

Right now I'm standing in Lacus's Orphanage. It's kind of sad to think so many of these little boys and girls have also lost their father as well. At least they have a very caring sub-mom and dad. Kira and Lacus take very good care of them. I'm not saying the two of them are married or anything. But with the way things are going right now. I'm expecting them to come out with it any day now. I actually think they're thinking it over with themselves. I'm so happy to know that Kira's my brother, he the best twin brother anyone could've given me. Though, whenever I look at him I think of Athrun.

When I think about it now, it all seems blurry. The day me and Athrun first met...

(Flash Back)

I wasn't in the best mood ever. All my food had drifted of into the unown ocean. I stared at it, woried. Oh great. Was my first thought. I swam out of the water, since my aircraft wasn't going to do anything good. I scouted around the Island. It wasn't all that big, it only took about two hours to walk through. I walked forward, not expecting a thing. I paused. Right there, in front of me, was a Zaft soldier, the enemy. Could my luck have been any better? I guess there's a reason for all things.

Anyway, here I was standing the top of the hill, unoticed by the target. My only thought was: gun. I quickly grabbed for the gun and fired. Either I'm not that good at aiming or he just had very good reflexes. I followed him, hiding behind anything I could found, which was mainly just rocks. He was fast, which wasn't exectly good because I had to aim. Luckly he forgot about the sack, which oviously had his weapon. Ha! I thought, no weapons, things are going perfectly. I was shaking with the gun in my hand, but I was confindent. I walked over to the sack, keeping an eye on the target. Click. Came a soft sound. It was coming from his direction. I guess I was wrong. I thought to myslef. The guy did have weapons.

I didn't care, what was a knife going to do from way over there. I didn't have to worry. Once again, I was wrong. I kicked the bag with the gun out of the way. The soldier took those few seconds and jumped behind the rock, followed by my bullets. I stood there, breathing heavily. The guy was going to pounce on me any second now. He did. Out of nowhere he blocked the gun and put the knife in aim of my throat. I'm ashamed to admit, I lost it. The only thought in my head was, this is the end. I gave out a long shriecking cry that lasted about three seconds. The guy stared at me. "You're a girl?" There were so many things he could said to me. So many, and 'you're a girl?' wasn't one of them.

Iwanted to slap the guy, but then he would've hurt me. Instead I answered, "Yes! What is it with you men!" I was getting pissed off with that line, did I really look like a guy to him? Well, after he found out I was a girl, he wasn't planning on killing me anytime soon. But still, now I was all tied up in ropes, just like a prisoner. It was kinda hard to move with my hands and feet all tied up, The first time I tried I ended up falling face planted into the dirt.

"Are you from the earth aliance?" He said, fiddling around with some things.

"No. I'm not a soldier."

"Then what group did you come from and why are you here?"

"That's none of your buisness!" He stayed quite for a while. I think he got the idea I didn't want so badly to tal right now while struggling to keep myself upright. Finally I rolled over and was at least able to see now.

"Are you one of the guys who attacked Heliopolis?" I asked, staring at the fifty foot Gundam. "I...I was there...when it...when it happened...at heliopolis,I mean." The sodier just stared at me and went of into his Gundam. What was the guy thinking? I was his prisoner and yet, he left me out in the open. I just ignoredit andI stayed where I was, rolling onto my back. I had a lot of thoughts in my head right then, it was stressful.

I had lain there for about two hours and it was gettin dark. I decided if the guy wasn't going to come and see me, I was going to go over to him instead. He was up in his gundam probably trying to send out messages to the Zaft forces. I sighed and startedclimbing up a small little hill. It really was small, but right then, even flat ground was too much. I was almost there when whosh! Back into the water I fell.

"Oh great." The puddle was quite big, considering the condition I was in. And it lead off into the ocean, to make matters even worse. Just as I lay there for about five seconds, it started raining. that was bad. the water started rising, higher and higher. I struglled to breath. Afgter about two seconds the water was over me, I started to panick, was I going to live? I actualy thought that. Before I could do anything further. I saw the giant hand of the gundam hover over top of me. I looked to see the soldiercoming from around thecorner.

"What are you doing down there?" he asked, teasingly. And in a tone as if he were asking a child if he did something wrong.

"What do you think? Now get me out of here." I answered, still in the rather large puddle with my hands tied together at the back.

"You're in no posistion to give me orders." He stood there, tall, with one hand on his hip.

"What ever, now help me up." He sighed and lifted my head out of the water. So I sat up strait. With his hands on my shoulders, out of nowhere a crab climbed out of my hair and across his arm. Then it slipped off. The soldier couldn't help but laugh.

"What's so funny?" I asked. "It's just a stupid crab."

"I'm sorry, but this is the first time I've seen one of those." He answered, helping me up.

"Why? Don't you have crabs where you come from?" He didn't answer and left me to do my thing. I jumped off into the rain and let it drop on me.

"What are you doing?" He asked in that same tone.

"What does it look like? I'm trying to get the sand off me." I lifted my head in enjoyment. "Ahh, this feels so good."

The soldier cut off my ropes and gathered them all up.

"What did you do that for?" I asked, trying to get the blood running in my hands.

"You're not going to cause me any problems with out your gun now are you?" I sighed, he was right.

the rest of the night was all a blur. We had a fight about which team was the worst, as it turned out, we were both confused. Both teams had done wrong and there was no changing that. After that we were silent for a while, I remeber walking out up to the Gundam and thinking back on the day they destroyed heliopolis. I starred at the gundam and then back to the pilot. To my surprise, the guy was sleeping.

"Hey," I called over, "No sleeping."

He struggled to keep his eyes open and said, "I'm crossing from the desendent to the..." Then clossed his eyes again. He must've had a hard day. But what was the guy thnking? He was making the gun perfectly in aim. I thought back on all the people who have died because of that machine. Listening to the death cries. As my hand reached over, they all came back to me. I wanted to cry. When I was just about to reach, the soldier's eyes shot open.

It all happened so fast. I can hardly remeber what or how it happened.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I guess I should stop thinking about it. Ican look back on it later, I have a lot of time for that. Lacus walked by in the hall, with her usual cheerful expression. She didn't say anything as she walked by. What was that for? I thought. Usually Lacus would say something to make me feel better. I guess she didn't see me, I hadn't been out of my room for a year. I wondered how I looked.The only thing I had in my room was bathroom. I never bothered to wash my hair anymore. I also havn't cut it in a while.I ignored it and kept drawing on my little rose. I was working on a soft little peddle swining off to the side. I never knew that doing art could make you feel so much better. It made me forget all the other things that were going on at the moment.

I stopped for a bit. The rose still only had one peddle on it. There, I thought. I'll draw one peddle everytime I feel better. By the time I have all the peddles, there will be a rose.

I put the paper on the tabble and got up. i wanted to be able to see someone again. Nowthat I wasout of that room. I put on my hood to cover my horrible hair.There had to be something I could do. I walked across the hallways, bumping into guards and chairmen in the way. Each of them gave me either a salute or a bow. I was too deep in thought to even notice them. But there was one person I couldn't ignore.

Deep down all the many floors was a man dressed in a black cloak. I couldn't see his face because he was turned around and had a hood on. Everyone else here had either white or blue. That was strange. I walked on, still starring at the man, when I bumped into Kira.

"Oh, sorry. Are you ok?" Kira asked, dusting off his clothes. "Cagalli! It's you! I can't beileve you finally went out of your room! I'm sorry, I couldn't recodnize you in the clothes."

"I'm fine. I guess I just had a very strange day." Kira gave me a sympathetic look and smiled. "Come. Let's go get something to drink, you look tired." I took Kira by the shoulder and started walking down the stairs. He didn't really say anything. I tried to ignore it and watched the people around me. "Kira, what's wrong? Everyone's been ignoring me lately, is there something on my face? Am I making you mad?"

Kira looked at me, his eyes blinking. "Ah, no Cagalli. It's not that at all." I crossed my arms. Was he lying? "I guess it's because...we don't want to make you feel any worse. Whenever you see us, you get sad. It makes you think of Athrun, doesn't it?" I didn't know what to say. He was right. But i had to get over it if I wanted to go on with my life.

"I'm getting married." I said, trying to hide my voice.

"That's great! So you're getting over things then?"

I turned to Kira, tears in my eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I"m such a burden to you. I don't want you thinking that I'm such a crybaby. I just want to be able to know that I can still be able to make others happy. I can't do that either!" Kira paused me and gave me a soft, gentle hug.

"It's ok. There's nothing to be afraid of. I'm here. Everything will be alright. I know how it feels to be sad. Don't worry, we're in this together. I'll help you feel better, ok? Think about him, maybe he's happy. He saw that you were safe 'till the very end. I'm sure he didn't want to see you crying like this. I'm sure he would have cried about you as much as you've cried about him." He paused for a second and pushed me away a little, his hands on my sholder. There were tears in his eyes. "If he knew you were getting married, he would be happy for you. He'd miss you though."

I took his hands off my shoulders. "It's my duty to ORB. It's not my choice." I tried to hold back the tears. "Kira, the guy is ten years older than me and he doesn't even know what the word "love" means! I had no choice but to say yes! With Athrun gone, there's no way I'm going to fall in love again!" I took a breath and softly said, "Help me. Please help me. I know you can't do anything about this but, please just tell me it's going to be ok. Tell me that in the end, it's all going to be worth it. That there's a reason for all of this."

Kira's eyes were filling with tears. He tried to say something, but he couldn't. He reached out and held me close to him again. "I'm sorry. I can't help you. This is horrible. I'm so sorry, I didn't know. You poor thing, so much has happened, and now this? I wish I could do something to make you feel better. You were there, always, to be my sister. I want to be able to be your brother. I-"

"I know. It's alright, Kira. You can let go now, I'm fine. It was nice being able to talk to someone." I turned around and walked away. For some reason I felt a lot better. I had't let it out in quite a while. I walked into my room and sat down on the bed. When I was jsut about to fall back and close my eyes the door slowly opened. I took a look at hwho it was.

My eyes were wide, my heart was beating, faster and faster. At least now I knew who the guy in black was...

Yuppee! For all you who've read this, hope you liked it! Finally, I finished my second chap. Now the story actually begins!

And just to remind you, I don't own Gundam Seed! Though, I wish I did! I'll try my best to update soon. It's going to be hard thoguht, with School staring and all. Please Review!Enjoy! Xoxo, Daisygirly