It had been a month since the disaster between Luke and Lorelai happened. Lorelai was keeping her feelings all bottled up inside, something that Sookie wasn't surprised about. The two friends were in the kitchen at the Dragonfly, the place Lorelai had taken to hanging out in more. She had always talked to Sookie back here, but now she was almost never anywhere else.

"Lorelai, what's wrong? You're usually so happy this time of year. You know, it's warm, and Rory's back from school." Sookie asked. She put her vegetables back into the refrigerator. Lorelai asked her to make her chicken soup. Sookie noticed that she hadn't been acting like herself lately. Never would Lorelai Gilmore ask for a healthy meal. Now she wanted chicken soup. With meat. And vegetables. Two things Lorelai did not eat unless they were in the form of a burger or inside a cardboard container with an "Al's" logo on the side.

"I was just thinking about Carolyn Bates." Lorelai said, taking a sip of coffee from the light blue mug Sookie had just handed her.

"Isn't she that psychologist your parents set Christopher up with the day that--" She paused. "Well you know the day."

Lorelai sighed and nodded. "Yep, she's the one." She set the coffee down on the counter to pick up a spoon to play with.

Sookie sliced a piece of cooked chicken vertically, then horizontally. She tossed the small cubed pieces into a pot with boiling chicken stock and cut vegetables. Lorelai looked confused.

"That's all you have to do? Throw stuff in a pot?" Lorelai asked. She peered over into the pot to look at the boiling soup.

"Yep, pretty much." Sookie covered the pot and leaned on the counter. "Now tell me why you were thinking about Carolyn."

"I don't know. I was just thinking and she creeped into my brain. Stupid thing. It's always working when I don't want it to." She hit herself on the head playfully.

"You're lying." Sookie said. "I know you well enough to know that you make a joke out of everything you don't want to talk about. Be a big girl and tell me." Sookie joked.

"First of all, I'm not in the mood for jokes. Secondly, if you must know, I was just thinking that if she went home with Christopher, or out to coffee with him, I'd still be with Luke. Or if I didn't spill my guts to her in the car that night, I'd still be with Luke. If she didn't tell me to break up with him, I'd still be with Luke. It just seems that I can trace back everything that's happened to me in the past few weeks to her. To that dinner at my parents house. She's my problem. If she didn't come to dinner, the yelling in the street wouldn't have happened, and the ultimatum wouldn't have come out of my mouth, and I wouldn't have slept with Christopher. It's just that everything that happened to me recently are things I can blame on her. It makes me feel better." Lorelai explained. The look on Sookie's face proved she was listening intently.

"Look, honey. It's not her fault. It's Luke's. He made you go over the edge. He didn't tell you about April, he didn't tell you she existed. If he would have, none of this would have happened." Sookie said. She was hoping that if she could show Lorelai that Luke was the cause of her problems, she'd go back to being her old self. Somehow, this made her more upset.

"Then maybe it's April's fault." Lorelai said. She traded the spoon for the coffee mug and took a long, deep drink.

"Lorelai, honey, it's not April's fault. She didn't do anything." Sookie reasoned.

"If she hadn't been so curious to find her father, Luke wouldn't have had the pressure of telling me on him, and we never would have postponed the wedding, and we'd be married right now."

"No. You can't blame the kid for wanting to know her father. Luke should have told you. He should have told you."

"Yeah, but if April wasn't there, he wouldn't have had to tell me." Lorelai said. She didn't believe what she was saying herself. She wanted to, but couldn't.

"Lorelai, its Luke's fault. It's all Luke's fault. Everything is Luke's fault. He was the one who should have told you. When the two of you had that fight at your house when Jackson and I were over, you told me that after, you had agreed to never keep secrets from each other. What happened to that? It's Luke's fault." Sookie said.

"No, then it's my fault. When Luke started to space out, I should have talked to him. I just let him be. I was afraid we'd break up. I was afraid that he'd get annoyed; like he did the first time we broke up. It's my fault. And Carolyn's." Lorelai said. She put her mug down. "I can't drink this." She looked away, and then walked quickly out of the room. Sookie yelled to Raul to finish the soup, and then went racing after Lorelai.

She was found standing behind the reception desk, leafing through paperwork with her glasses on. It was more than obvious that she was truly broken. Her usual demeanor and overall spirit was gone. She didn't act like herself at all anymore. Sookie went to her, hoping that she, as a friend, would be able to calm her down a little. She tried the back rubbing, the sympathetic glances, and the "let's just talk about its". Finally, after the third back rubbing, Lorelai collapsed. She ripped the glasses off her face and tears stained the papers in front of her. Sookie turned her towards herself, gathering Lorelai's shaking body into her arms. They stood in the embrace for a minute or so, before Lorelai let go and took a few deep breaths.

"It wasn't you." Sookie muttered quietly. Lorelai's eyes opened and shut, and her fingers traveled up her face to wipe the tears that had already fallen from them. Then, Sookie watched as her friend took cautious steps to the couch where she sat down and took out her cell phone. Sookie smiled, knowing who she was calling, knowing why, and knowing that Rory was the only person besides Luke that could help her. Lorelai put her phone to her ear as Sookie was walking through the door to the kitchen.

"Hi, Chris." Lorelai's soft voice spoke out. Sookie stopped dead in her tracks. "I need you to come here. To Star's Hollow. Please, I need you." Lorelai listened to what he said to her, and then shook her head.

"No! Tell your boss you can't work today. Chris, I need you. Please come. Please. Please." Her voice faded out. She listened one more time before speaking.

"We need to talk. We need to talk about everything that's happened. Just come see me." Lorelai closed the phone and set it down on the table in front of her. She held a pillow close and snuggled down into the couch. Sookie began to walk back into the lobby, but decided against it. Lorelai would be upset that she listened in on the conversation.

……………….LL…………………...…LL…………………………LL…………….…

It was about two hours before Christopher finally arrived at the Inn. Lorelai had resumed her spot at the reception desk and was again leafing though paperwork. Chris stood at the archway into the lobby and watched her until Lorelai's head popped up and their eyes connected.

"Chris." Lorelai said.

"Lor. What's wrong?" Chris had moved from the entrance to the lobby to the rug in front of the desk.

"I just—we need to talk." Lorelai came out and led Christopher back to her office, where she shut the door and pulled up a chair for him to sit. Christopher had, like Sookie, sensed something wrong.

"Lor, you know I'm here for you. Tell me what's going on." Chris ignored the chair that had been brought for him and stood in front of Lorelai, who hadn't sat down yet. He placed his hands on her hips, to which she tensed.

"Chris, don't touch me. I can't be touched right now." Lorelai said. "This is how we got into this mess in the first place." Christopher removed his hands from her body and let them hang limply to his sides. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked away.

"What's the matter with you? You aren't yourself. Are you ok?" Christopher asked. He turned her head gently towards him, and then pulled back when she gave him a look that could break glass.

"How do you think I am, Christopher? What do you think?"

"Lor—"

"My name is Lorelai. Not Lor. This will be a hell of a lot easier if you'd just call me by my name." Lorelai said. She had wanted to tell him that for years.

"Sorry. Lorelai, why won't you just tell me what's wrong? If it has anything to do with what I think it has to do with, I'm part of it. Tell me." Christopher said, staring into Lorelai's eyes.

"We shouldn't have done that."

"Why not? It was great. You have to admit that."

"God, Chris! You are such a sixteen year old. You're the same kid I had a baby with 21 years ago. I would think you'd grow up. But no. All you can think of is, 'It was great.' How inconsiderate of you."

"That's not what I meant."

"Yes it was. It was what you meant, and you know it. Did you ever think of how it was for me? How uncomfortable and terrifying it was for me? No, you didn't. You never think of anyone but yourself."

"I thought it was good for you."

"Good for me? Yeah, right. It hurt. Physically and emotionally. All I could think of was what I was doing to Luke. All I could do was lay there and pretend to be ok, for your sake."

"You didn't have to do that." Chris said. He tried to back down, but Lorelai wasn't letting him.

"No, I didn't. But it was partly my decision to do it, and I couldn't turn you away."

"I'm sorry." Christopher whispered. Lorelai wiped her eyes and looked down at her feet before speaking quietly.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn't do anything. It's my fault. It's all my fault." She collapsed again, this time into Chris's arms. He held her silently, his chin resting on her head. They stood for a while, until there was a knock on the door.

"Mom? Sookie called me and told me you needed someone. Can I come in?"