If only….

"C'mon woman! This is the second time this week!!"
" Vegeta…"
"Yes woman?" I asked.
"SHUT UP!!"
" Baka hurry up!!" I screamed.
The brats ran past, the biggest brat was shooting my princess with a nerf gun.
"Daddy! He's shooting me!" bra screamed.
"She put makeup on me!"
"He stole my Barbie!"
"I wanted it for target practice!"
"WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP! YOU'RE GIVING ME A HEADACHE!" I screamed, my ki flashed red and fired up. I grabbed both the brats by their collars and dragged them out to the car. I blew up my favourite restaurant on Monday, so we had to go to the ice cream parlour instead. I threw the brats in to the car and climbed in the drivers side seat. I slammed the door shut; it almost came off its hinges.
"I'M TAKING THE BRATS AND LEAVING WITHOUT YOU!" I screamed back to the woman.
" No your not… you forgot the credit card…" she said smartly.
" I HAVE MY OWN WAY OF SOLVING THAT PROBLEM YOU BAKA!" I wondered what 'final flashed ice cream' would taste like.
"Daddy… why can't mummy come?" asked my princess with huge 'love-me' eyes.
" Because I said! Now sit down and do up your belt!" I yelled. She started to cry.
"Awww dad! Shut her up!" trunks yelled.
"For once I agree…" I mumbled to myself. I pulled out of the driveway and took off down the street.
I put one hand over bras mouth in an attempt to shut her up. She just bit me.
" Shut up kid!" I screamed. I blew on my hand where she had bit it. I pulled up at the stoplights; a rather annoying poster blew onto the windscreen… it read:
" HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN? HE IS NOW WANTED BY FEDERAL POLICE FOR BLOWING UP THE ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT BUFFET"
There was a rather crappy looking picture of me on it.
"Um… kids… I think we may have to go home now" I started to sweat.
" But I didn't get any ice cream!" trunks yelled
"Yeah who cares… not me! I'm just wanted by police!" I yelled and pulled at my hair.
" I've never seen him do that before…" trunks said awed.
" Shut up brat!" I yelled and turned the car around.
"Daddy? What's wrong?" asked my princess, I looked at her.
" Nothing you need to know about!" I put my foot to the floor and took off home.
The woman was waiting for me.
" Vegeta…"
" Yes woman I know! I know I am wanted by federal police! I didn't mean to blow it up…"
" I didn't mean that…" she said, kinda shocked.
" You didn't?" I stared at her.
" No, I just wanted to know how it went… you know… the whole ice cream parlour thing?"
" In that case… IT WAS ALL KAKAROTS FAULT!"
"Yeah right!" she scoffed.
" Truly it was!" I said with an innocent ring to my words.
" Look, I am sorry to do this but I am going to have to call the police to pick you up vege-chan!" She turned and started to dial the police.
" No woman don't do that!" I yelled and tried to grab the phone off of her.
After all those years of being an elite saiyan, blowing up planets and destroying whole races, with all that, I still managed not to get the phone.
"Hello? Police? I would like to report my husband? The one who blew up the buffet?"
" Woman! I beg of you! Don't do it! I'll do anything! Anything!" did I actually just say that?
" Anything vegeta?" she asked slyly.
" Yes. I mean… uh…. Don't mock me woman!" I stammered.
" Well... okay then…" she hung up the phone.
I gulped, obviously very loud.
" For a start, you can: take me shopping, take me to dinner, watch the kids…"

" Why me…" I mumbled under my breath.
Trunks came up and pulled my pants leg.
"Dad can we spar? Or hows about you let me train in the gravity room?"
Bra pulled my outer pants leg.
" Daddy? Will you play dollies with me? Or tea parties? Can we invite goten over and dress him up with makeup?"
Bulma pulled my sleeve.
" Vegeta… remember you promised to take me shopping? And out to dinner also?"
All these questions were fired at me all at once.
" will you all LEAVE ME ALONE?!" I demanded and stormed off.

Moral of the story: don't blow up restaurants.

Quote of the day DBZ style: vegeta.
"he's killed more people than you knowwwwww!"