"Peter please, before you do anything, you have to listen to me!"
For all the stupid things you've done in your life Neal Caffrey, this is the worst! Neal couldn't help kicking himself, and not because he was feeling remorse, no, not at all, but because there was something about this whole scene that, well…scared the crap out of him! It may have been the vein in Peter's neck, or maybe all the signals that indicated his partner had three seconds left before spontaneous combustion!
"Oh boy! I'm going to listen to you that's for sure!"
The agent unbuckled his belt and Neal instantly turned dead white, feeling a shiver down his spine.It is not my crying that I was planning for you to hear! "Just let me explain! I have an explanation for all this."Maybe you…okay, surly you won't like it but, there is anexplanation anyway.
Peter let his belt hang just unbuckled in his pants before turning his attention back to the kid, "Explain!" he said sharply.
"All right, all right just keep an open mind and…and breathe please."
"I am breathing Neal."
"No," Neal shook his head, "you are not."
"Neal…"
"Really Peter, it looks like you are getting a little blue and I don't think that's norma…
"NEAL!"
"Fine! I'm sorry," the con put up his hands defensively. "Okay, I'm explaining, I'm explaining…
"Mondays. I don't like Mondays, they go so slowly, it's like been trapped in time! Don't even have a case to work on. Nine o'clock in the morning and nothing to do. I was bored to death in the offi-"
"Neal you do have things to do on Mondays. I asked you to finish your reports and help me with some files once you were done!"
"Huumm…well… that…just let me continue!"
"So Mondays I hate them! I went to see what Diana was doing -maybe something interesting -but no she was doing reports…..
"Hi Diana! How are you on this beautiful day?"
"Nothing to do Neal?" she said not even looking at Neal's perfect smile.
"No," he admitted, "I'm bored, what are you doing?"
"Finishing the last report."
"Wow, that's so exiting!" The con said sarcastically, pretending to be thrilled with her work.
"Yeah!" She played along. "Want to help me? It's just too much fun for me!"
"You are so thoughtful," Neal said while he put one hand in his heart."But no thank you, I couldn't take away a part of your happiness."
"I tried to con her into do my reports as well but sadly she is the only one who's never fallen for the Caffrey charm."
"And I, she and I, we've never fallen for your charm," Peter point out with some pride in his words.
"Umm…yeah you neither,"….if that´s what you want to believe.
"So I went to Jones and he was doing the same thing,"…..boring!
"HeyJones!"
"Hey Neal, what's up?"
Neal leaned on Jones' desk. "Oh, no…you are doing reports too?"
"Yeah kid, Peter wants this finished today." Jones lifted up his eyes to met Neal's, "Did you finished yours?"
Neal moves his eyes away, "Umm, well…"
"Neal you need to get this done," there was a little hint of scolding that took Neal back for a second.
"No worries," Neal smiled."I will figure something out," the kid started to walk away from Jones desk.
"Neal…"
Neal suddenly became thoughtful, like he was recalling something, and wherever that was, it was making him smile a bit, but not a happy smile,it was more a nostalgic one.
"You know they both care about you, Neal," Peter said interrupting Neal's own thoughts, when he realized the kid was not continuing with his explanation.
"What?"
"Jones and Diana, they really care about you."The older man had moved to sit beside Neal on the couch.
"Yes, I know, sometimes I think of them as the big brother and sister I never had, you know," the con smiled playfully.
"Yeah, and I'm pretty certain they think of you as their baby brother, and I don´t think they wished for that either"
Neal directed his eyes slowly to the floor, "You're right Peter, they probably didn't." He sounded a little guilty, possibly accepting that sometimes he was a lot of trouble for them.
Peter placed a comforting hand on the kid thigh,"That's good, because nobody gets to choose their family and it's only fair that you don't get any privileges."
"Privileges?" The kid looks up, "Family?"
"Yep, no special privileges for misbehaving kids," The man said as he gave Neal a pat. "And yes, I like to think of us as a family Neal."
"A family? You mean Diana, Jones, and me?"
"Well, yes," Peter said and nodded at the same time.
"And Elizabeth too, right?"
"Of course Elizabeth too."
"Wait…If in this family Jones and Diana are kind of my siblings, what does that make you?"
Peter was asking himself the exact same question.
"Well I suppose it makes me the man who has to, and is about to punish you."
"I don't know if I like this family," Neal said very seriously with an even more serious pout.
Peter couldn't help but laugh at that, "As I told you before you don't have to like it Neal, you get stuck with your family whether you like it or not. Sorry kid."
"Where is Mozz in this whole family thing? Neal asked suddenly.
Peter hadn't thoughtof him,"I don´t think he has a part…"
"He is my friend Peter," Neal straightened up on the couch. He couldn't have a family without his very best friend that wouldn't be right.
"I suppose we can consider him as the annoying cousin," Peter grinned.
Neal relaxed again on the couch, the annoying cousin would totally fit Mozz, "Thank you."
"So you were explaining…"
"Oh, yeah right…"
Neal made his way up to Peter office, he was still bored and Diana and Jones had done nothing to help his mood. He knocked softly on the office door.
"Hi Peter."
"Hi Neal, did you finish?"
Neal decided to ignore the question and select the correct words in order to accomplish what he wanted, "I think I'm sick, Peter," of being hereand I want toget the hell out of the office!
The old man lifted up his eyes to meet Neal's. The kid didn't look sick but if he said so…well,Neal had never lied to Peter. Besides, he had way too much work right now, meaning he had no time, and no desire, to deal with the kid at the moment."If you are feeling ill, you go home and rest Neal. I don't want you to get worst."
"Thanks, Peter." Not wanting to do anymore talking, not wanting to use anymore words than necessary that may be used in evidence against him later, Neal moved out of the Bureau with lightning speed.
It was a beautiful day outside, too nice to waste indoors, so the young con decided to go and have a coffee at some sweet little sidewalk café.
"Peter," Neal said with concern, "You are not breathing again."
And yes, Neal was correct, he had indeed stopped breathing! "You…! You made me believe that you were ill! You lied to me!"
"No Peter, you got it all wrong!" Neal started to feel the onset of complete panic when he realized that Peter had finished the task of removing his belt. Damn!
"You told to me that you where feeling bad!"
"No I never said that! You where the one, you said that not me."
"Then what did you mean by, 'I think I'm sick'?" the FBI agent asked in the calmest way he could manage, trying hard not to explode. For Neal, it was still quite disturbing,even more than if the agent had been yelling.
Neal's instincts advised him to move away from the man, as much as the length of the couch allowed, before opening his mouth once again to explain." I…I mean sick of been in the office. You just assumed that I was ill."
"And you were all so happy to let me get the wrong idea!"
"Well…well…if you had just ask me how I was feeling or what was wrong, I may had, of course, clarified everything for you …but you just wanted to brush me off."
"Neal," Peter said sorrowful, "Neal I would never ever just bru-…wait a minute, you are not turning this back on me! You know and I know, what your intentions were with your words"
"Peter, I'm sorry, okay? I was just…just…"
"Just acting like a kid who wanted to get out early from school…? Well this little word con of yours just earned you ten more smacks with my hand on your butt…on your bare butt Neal."
"What! You can't be serious!"
"The hell I am!"
Neal started to have second thoughts. His explanation was intended to calm the older man, not makes him more upset."Please, I told you-open mind remember?"
Peter ignored the younger man and growled, "Continue with your explanation, I want to hear the rest."
"I don't think that is necessary…" Neal was pretty certain now- this was a bad idea!
"Neal…" Peter warned.
"Okay…" but it will be as brief as possible!"So I went for coffee…"
Neal went to the best coffee shop his anklet allowed, a quaint little café three blocks north of the Bureau. He was in line to get coffee when his eyes caught sight of a beautiful women, long hair, perfect features, softly crying at one of the inside tables.
Neal, forever the gentleman, couldn't help but approach the women to find out if he could be helpful in anyway.
"Hello."
The women sadly lifted up her head, "Mmm…Hi," she replied with a hurt voice.
"So it was there that you meet her?"
"Yes, she told me about her college teacher and that they were having an affair or something like that, but he left her with no explanation after they finally had sex, the man threatened her… and she was heart-broken Peter…and the guy was an idiot…and I just want to help her…"
"I know Neal but…you can't go playing Robin Hood of feelings, it doesn't work like that. Your intentions are good I know…but really you need to think twice before you jump in to help."
Neal just noddedwith his head in understanding. What more was there to say?
"Finish the story Neal, please."
"You know the rest."
"I want you to tell me."
"No."
"No?"
"You are just going to get angrier with me"
"I don't care, I'm going to be angrier if you don't, so either way…just finish."
Neal crossed his arms against his chest and made himself into a ball of stubbornness. "NO!"
"Neal!"
"Fine! I meet with her on Tuesday and we made a plan, on Wednesday I went to her college to pretend to be student, bag pack and everything and we made the teacher jealous, and on Thursday, he invited her to his house and I broke in and took pictures to ruin his reputation and then he discovered our plan and tried to kill me, and all of this while you still thought I was ill!"
Neal shot every single word out in one breath.
"You're done?"
"Yes," Neal answers the question with some embarrassment and a whole lot of shame.
"Good, so how did he find out what you two where planning?"
Neal shrugged, "She snapped at him, 'I got you, now you are done!' Not very smart on her part while we were still in the room."
"Yeah not very smart."
"Nope, that's why Mozz always says -only work with pros!"
"You could have been hurt Neal, if that man had decided that it would be easier just kill you then and there and throw your body in some remote nature reserve instead of dragging you off with the intention of killing you later, this would be a whole different story."
"I know Peter, and I'm sorry."
"Your anklet saved your life."
"Yeah…but I still hate it, you know."
"I figure that much…well Neal," Peter stood up from the couch, belt in his hand and signaled for the younger man to do the same.
"Peter, please…I just…just…"
"Stand up, Neal!" Peter ordered.
"No Peter, please…I…don't hit me please…"
Peter reached for Neal and he trapped the kid by the arm, and then tried to pull Neal up off the couch. Neal of course had a different idea and he pulled to the opposite side with a little more determination than the agent - he had greater motivation - to save his behind! Peter stumbled over Neal and feel on top of the kid. For less than a second both men froze in place.Weird!
"Neal!" Peter reacted first as he stood up again.
It was not an intelligent move but Neal started laughing. "I'm sorry Peter, sometimes I just forget that you are not that young anymore."
"Very funny Neal, very Funny, let's see if you keep laughing after…"
"No! Peter I'm sorry, I promise you that I would never ever do something like that…and …and I'll behave from now on…and," this was going nowhere and Neal knew it. "Please…do you have to use your belt?" His fate was decided.
Peter looked into the blue pleading eyes and hesitated…Neal was so freaking cute when he wants to be.
"Yes Neal. You were disobedient and what you did was illegal and…" Neal eyes went bigger…Damn! Why did he have to look like a lost puppy on a raining day! Peter took seat again on the couch, patted his thighs and sighed.
"Are you just going to use your hand?"
"Yes Neal."
Neal smiled happily until he thought again and asked, "Can I keep the pants up?" Peter give him an incredulous look and Neal's smile dissipated from his face. "But Peter you can't-"
"One more word and I'm using the belt, come over here now."
Neal dragged himself closer so Peter could undo his pants and then pulled him over his lap. Once in position Neal tried hard to put his mind in some distance far off place and time, but the first smack brought him right back to reality – painful, burning reality.
"Peter…!"
"I don't want you to do anything like this ever again, Neal"
"I won't!"
"If I even suspect that you are thinking of doing this again…"
"No Peter, I won't, I promise, I swear!"
"Good"
It didn't take long for Peter's hand to leave Neal's butt looking red and sore and after a while the older man considered the lesson learnt. He pulled the kid'spants up who was still crying in silence from the last round of smacks. Peter put him onto his feeds but he didn't let go. He kept his hands wrapped firmly around the younger man's waist.
"Are you okay?"
"If by okay you mean sore and embarrassed, then yes I'm okay," Neal said as he cleared away some of the tears from his face.
"Good, hopefully it will help you to remember next time."
They both stood there in silence for a while, maybe some minutes while Peter put his arms around the young man's shoulder, Neal felt like it was an eternity.
"Well…I… Peter."
"Yes?"
"Why are you still holding me?"
"I…well I just wanted to make sure you are okay," Peter started to feel a little out of place but he ignored the feeling. "This is odd I know but…but I can't punish you and then send you away."
"I'm not so sure what to say now."
"Neal Caffrey you don't know what to say…well now I'm impressed!"
"It's not that impressive Peter…"
"Yes it is."
Neal directed he gaze at the floor and blushed.
"Sure you're okay?"
"Yeah…I mean… this suck, and it hurts and I don't like it! I really, really, like really! Don't like it…but I'm fine Peter."
"Good to hear Neal…You know I'm pretty happy with our little family, I just want to keep you in it, so don't get yourself killed please."
"I'll try my best, I promise."
"Good enough," Peter rubbed the kid's hair affectionately. "Let's have some diner, are you hungry?"
Neal nodded and Peter headed for the kitchen, the con took his time so he could rub his sore butt now that Peter couldn't see him.
"Neal," Peter called from the kitchen.
"Yes?"
"Are you coming?"
"Yes," Neal respond but didn't move.
"Come on Neal, stop rubbing your butt and come have some diner."
"I'm not rubbing my butt!" Neal shot as he headed for the kitchen too.
"Yes you are!" Peter accused.
"I'm not sure if I like this family" Neal grumbled as he joined his 'dad'.
"Like I told you before, son, you don't have too. You just get stuck with them no matter what grey hair they may cause," Peter said smiling.