Authors Note: Hey, well, I said on another one of my other fan fictions that I had other ideas...but I felt like writing this one just for the next few days. It's kind of dark...well...as dark as I could make it...This is actually a series of one-shots that are in a way related. You have to read this one to understand the others...well...here you go.
Couples featured in this chapter: Inuyasha and Kagome
Tree Hugger
It's been many years since we've talked, but I feel obligated to tell you what's on my mind. I love you, that's all there is to it. I may have murmured it thousands of times, even whispered it while you slept peacefully, but for the first time in my life I will say it out loud. Like I mean it, because you know I always will.
"I love you, Inuyasha."
You might not be able to hear me, or my thoughts, but I wish for one moment I can reach out to you like I long to. Why did our time together have to fall so short? A year and half is hardly long enough to show you how much I wanted to spend an eternity with you.
I haven't changed, not even a little bit. I still wear my school clothes, although I graduated last month. I do it to hold on to my memory of you, of our adventures together. I'd do anything for you. I'll never let go.
The sun's not as bright, the night's almost too quiet, and happiness is never to be found. My thoughts never waver as they always drift back to you. Sometimes I reminisce back to that day...the day we were wrenched apart...but I don't want to. Could you blame me?
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I had shot my last arrow, growing angrier with every dying second. We were not bound to lose this battle. Kagura and Kanna lay as bloody carcasses on the ground, mangled from Sesshoumaru's poisonous claws. All of our allies had fallen, as I looked around for the last time in that scene.
Sango's distant weeping kept me determined as she yelled "Miroku! Miroku! No!" and held his somewhat lifeless body to her chest. His hand came up to her cheek, in one last loving gesture, before he took her lips in a full kiss and lost his last breaths in their passion. Sudden bawling and shrieks indicated that our beloved monk had just left us as well.
My feeble attempt to strike the last of Naraku's attachments was immediately shot down. In all the distraction I completely missed, forgetting to take the time to aim at all. The silence that took over made everything around me sink in...The slight weeping, the discarded bodies all around, and all our hopes diminished.
Miroku...Sesshoumaru...Jaken...Rin...Kouga...Ayame...Kirara...Shippo...Kohaku...Hachi...Kikyo...Kaede...all of their lights of life that glimmered brightly were doused by the raging waters of hate. If any of us made it alive out of here, it would surely tear us apart to bury our past, along with our loved ones.
My chest constricted in a sudden pang of pain. I had just realized that nothing would ever be back to normal after this, ever... My legs gave out beneath my weight and I fell to my knees, shoving my face in my hands while trying to destroy the last mental image of all my companions over this time laying dead and destroyed. A yelp caught me off guard and caused me to look back into the forest for the disturbance.
Inuyasha...
Tonight was the new moon and we had all reassured him that we could do the job on our own and he should take haven in the forest. But I knew, I had felt his presence the whole time, he was watching over us. His arms encircled my shoulders and I could feel the heat rush to my face at the subtle embrace. The strong grip on me helped him to pull me off the ground, and hug my back close to his chest.
"You can do this Kagome, I believe in you...," he whispered into my ear making my whole body chill from the sensation of his breath so close and comforting.
"I...I.." I stuttered, pointing to my bow and clearly saying that I no longer had arrows to equip it with. With a swift revealing he showed me one more arrow, just one more, and thrust it in front of my face, letting me know that we had one last change to hit our target.
I strung the bow with shaking fingers, or I would have if it hadn't been for Inuyasha's warm hands guiding my own and steadying my rattled nerves. With both our arms raised, and our eyes squinting to find to perfect place to release, we held onto each other as if it were life or death. In a way it really was. If together, we missed, then both of us would die, but I would die in his arms. I had no objections to that. With both our capabilities, and Inuyasha's body pressed to mine I found the strength I needed and channeled all of my miko energy into the arrow.
Inuyasha, who had sensed the peak in my power, yelled to me," Do it Kagome! Do it now!"
He let go with a small growl from deep within his throat, and I gasped, both of us rooted to our spot and currently molded together. The arrow was sent flying, straight into Naraku's heart and he barely flinched from the contact and just calmly looked down at the point still embedded in him. Spontaneously, a burst of pink light blinded us before it sent us sprawling backwards into the forest. We landed with a soft thud, on the ground, both of us still clinging to one another.
"You okay?" he said to me, sounding concerned. When had he started to care when I was okay? Before I could answer, I felt tears well up in my eyes and I flung myself into his chest, crying myself dry.
"Please! Anyone? Please someone be alive!" I heard the anguish in her voice as she searched for any living among the already deceased.
I took hold of my own voice, that came out shaky but loudly nonetheless, "Sango! Sango! We're over here!"
The sound of rustling leaves took over the state of quietude before she too found us, and with her last strength she fell on us, all of us grasping each other, making sure we were still real. The three of us were the only ones left, the survivors of the Inu-tachi.
Sango's sobs filled the air and I felt one of Inuyasha's arms running up and down by back, soothingly.
"I-I miss them," Sango sniffed, looking weaker than I had ever seen her before.
"I do too, we all will." Inuyasha said, sounding almost choked up if I didn't know any better. His best friend, his lost love, his brother had all been taken from him today. Even the death of Shippo must have gotten to him, for they had become close although they didn't show it.
I should have said something then, voiced my feelings, but nothing would leave my mouth. Not even the words I could have easily muttered in this time of desperation.
"I love you guys...so much..." Sango had said to us.
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I blink every time the rain occasionally runs off my bangs and into my eyes, but my gaze never falters. Goshinboku. The place we met, long ago.
It never ceases to make me wonder why I hadn't said anything when we were huddled together. Right here is where I can let my mind wander to finally dwell on those thoughts...I can just never find the answer even within the farthest depths of my mind.
Perhaps fate thought it would be cruel of me to do so, for what had happened the next morning. I'll never forget what happened, even though it occurred so fast.
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I had woken up, finding Inuyasha to be gone from underneath us without even causing us to stir. I took one long deep and calming breath before deciding firmly that I would go after him, make sure he was coping okay with everything that happened only the day before.
My attraction to him led me to the battle scene; the scattered remnants of our comrades still intact, and Naraku's now added to the pile, slumped in front of the Goshinboku. Inuyasha stood quietly, not noticing I was there while he stared at the tree aimlessly.
"Inuyasha...?" I summoned him with my almost inaudible timid voice. He turned so that I could only see one golden eye and half-sad smirk lighting up his face.
"Kagome..." he lifted a necklace from his neck, showing me the vile with the last of the shards still inside connected to a chain I had given him," We should put it back together...right?"
"R-right..." I saw the hurt in his eyes, but I was reflecting it in my own orbs as well. If we did this now it meant the end to our journeys together. Who knew what would be on the other side of reality once it was complete. This idea only terrified me, and I could see it affected Inuyasha too.
He walked toward me, the hand holding the little bottle outstretched, but before we reached he stopped and looked at me thoughtfully," Before anything happens...I just want to say...uh...it's been fun...and...um..I don't hate you."
"I don't hate you either, Inuyasha. I never have...and I don't think I ever will..." I was blushing furiously and he was doing the same. On the contrary, I actually was on the total opposite of hating him, I loved him, and I knew it for the longest time. He handed every bit of the Shikon Jewel to me and I took them in my hands, concentrating on mending them wholly, "Here goes nothing."
I felt a slight burning sensation before the same pink light that destroyed Naraku swarmed within my clasped hands. The jewel was merging swiftly...more nimbly than I thought. After only a few minutes the pain ebbed and I found a small, round, elegant, pink jewel perched on my palm, restored.
I looked up to Inuyasha and at first I did not notice anything was wrong until he looked at me in complete horror. Then I saw it too, my Inuyasha was flickering before my eyes and the world known as Sengoku Jidai in Feudal Japan was becoming hazy. My emotions didn't waste time before having me spill a river of tears, letting me sob freely.
"Inuyasha!" I screamed and in return he only quietly whispered, "Kagome..."
When I thought all hope was lost, I was wrong. My eyes went wide as I felt Inuyasha's hand clutch mine and the other looped around my waist as he crushed me to his body...and he took my lips captive for the first time in a sweet, yet passionate first kiss.
His mouth muffled my whimpers and sniffled weeping, but I could not seem to calm myself. When I opened my eyes, I felt empty. The past was gone, but the future was present...and I wish it wasn't. I screamed hopelessly over and over.
"INUYASHA! DON'T LEAVE ME! PLEASE! DON'T LEAVE ME!" the sound of thunder boomed before it poured full force and drenched me to the bone. I still did not leave the spot before the Goshinboku. For days on end I waited...but years later...nothing has come but bitter sorrow.
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So now you know how I feel, I love you, yet I can never have you. I just want you to know I'll never forget, and I'll never love again. Every time I look down the well I feel a tinge of hope course through my body...but then it is gone as I see only a dark pit below me.
Sometimes I wonder why I even stand for this constant torment. I could end it all in an instant and perhaps you could have done the same, then we would be together in the heavens. Who knows if the heavens really exist? Who knows if anything is worth living for anymore...not when you've gone through what I have.
I witnessed my only close friends being murdered, their blood splattering every which away, even on myself. I saw my only enemy fall to his own demise. I watched as my first love dissolved in front of me. Even now the memory has not faded from within me, and I know it never will.
Today I prayed for you and your well being, today I wept for you, and tomorrow I'll do the same. I miss you.
As the rain continues to flow and my face stays stern, I walk closer to the tree, our tree. I want to send you one last message of love before I leave today...something to make us both feel better. I want to give you a hug...an embrace that promises my everlasting love. As I hug the tree...I can feel only you. My eyes stay closed tight so I can only imagine what it would feel like to have your body within my arms.
I smile as the wind picks up and I shudder from the night cold, but you keep me warm. You make me feel safe...you turn my whole world upside down, but everything about you makes that all right.
Some kids prod and tease when I do this for you...they call me a tree hugger...my only retort is...Yes, I am, I hug trees...but only for you.
Next Time: Sango confesses why she spends her time on the Avenue of Trees.