Disclaimer: I don't own Cold Case or the song "All About Soul" by Billy Joel

To Keep My Faith Alive

He really couldn't remember when it had started. He'd had a crisis of faith in God too many years ago to count, but this was more recent. He'd started to doubt himself. She'd noticed. She always noticed.

It had started innocently enough. She'd shown up on his doorstep after dark, just to see if he was ok. He'd said he was. She'd nodded and headed to her own home. The next time she'd turned up to check on him, he'd asked her in for a few minutes. She'd stayed, but not long enough to actually sit or take off her coat.

The third time, he was almost expecting her presence. He invited her in again. She stayed for a cup of coffee, before leaving. He began to realize that it was her faith in him that was bringing her by to check on him. So long as he was ok, she wouldn't doubt herself.

Each time she came by, she stayed a little longer. And after one particularly bad day, she'd the night. She'd crashed on his couch. Somewhere in the middle of that night she'd crawled into bed with him. She told him that he'd been dreaming and she'd come to wake him. He eyed her suspiciously but he slept better than he had in awhile.

That became their pattern. She would show up on his doorstep and when he was ready to go to bed, she followed and crawled in next to him. He began to feel as though he would never doubt himself so long as she was there.

When she kissed him for the first time, he was in heaven. When they made love, it was ecstasy, but the dawn brought the doubts back full force, to an almost debilitating degree. In the morning light he was losing all his faith in everything. She snuggled into him and his chest constricted painfully in fear. He tried to move away from her, but she woke and tightened her arms around him. She wouldn't let him go. She didn't care that he was so much older than her or that he was at the end of a career while she was at the beginning. She mumbled a soft "love you" into his chest, and all his doubts and fears faded away into nothingness. She gave him everything he needed to keep his faith alive.

There are people who have lost every trace of human kindness

There are many who have fallen; there are some who still survive

She comes to me at night and she tells me her desires

And she gives me all the love I need to keep my faith alive.