Know it's not that great, but it's my first humor. Sonic Pandemonium
Meet the VETs
Sonic looked up at the calendar in horror, ignoring the alarm clock that once rung with the possibility of arousing our hero, now smashed under his foot. It was time for his haircut.
"No. No…"
Sonic rechecked his calendar, resisting the urge to scream in horror. "No. No. Nonsense?" the hedgehog puzzled, for clearly, once he rechecked the calendar, it was actually the day to head to the super market.
"All right. I'll just get Tails and Knuckles to tag along and get my grub for me," the hedgehog snapped his fingers at his ingenious new plan. At this rate maybe he would surpass the gooder, baddoctor at his own intelligence… not that he had much.
Calling his friends, Sonic grinded off the roof, where for some reason his phone was located. When he entered his garage and sat in his car, where miraculously the gang was already waiting.
"Hi Sonic. Where we going?" asked the furry, little fox-nerd. Tails became furious at his previous description in this paragraph, but quickly quieted down when the author appeared in a vision, threatening to permanently transform him into a girl, complete with insane and evil laughter.
Knuckles who hadn't seen Tail's predicament with the author, as well as Sonic, asked the same thing.
Taking advantage of Knuckle's gullibility, Sonic persuaded slyly, "We're going down to a blues concert." He slipped up, since Knuckles was now bawling hysterically, "Er… rap." Sonic corrected. Knuckles cheered and began to listen to his CD player, only to whimper like a hurt puppy when Sonic put an end to the machine's short life.
Tails was livid. "Wrong! Judging by the list in your hand, the empty trunk of Sonic's car, and the lack of concert tickets in his hand, there's a 89 chance it's the grocery store, and a 0-1 chance we're going to a live band performance!"
Sonic's quill's stood up in rage, "YOU weren't supposed to tell that to Knuckles!" Fortunately, Knuckles had pulled out a new music player from hammer-space and a giant headset, drowned in the sound of rap.
The group got in the car and headed off for the super market. Just down the road, in the way of their route, Eggman plotted his next plan from within the confines of his futuristic, new base, conveniently situated within the tire of a large monster truck.
"In my secret base, disguised as a large tire for my personal comfort," Eggman planned, despite his squeezed, discomforted state, "No one, not even that blasted hedgehog, will suspect my plans of ruling the world and eventually the universe. And with my secret radio transmitter, I'll be able to determine what Sonic is doing right now."
A camera within the Egg-Tire-Hider transmitted a view of Eggman on a secret monitor hanging from the back of the truck. "Now, I will invent… I will invent… hm, what was I going to invent?" Suddenly remembering something Eggman's glasses flashed in a wave of inspiration.
"Yes. I know now! I'll invent a device that can hope to defeat Sonic."
Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles were halfway to the supermarket when the monster truck in front of them suddenly exploded into a large barrier that blocked the road. Suspiciously, there was no traffic on the street.
If the trio had looked behind, they would have noticed the 'Detour, TURN LEFT here' sign that they had followed, suddenly retreated back into the pavement.
Suddenly eerie laughter accompanied by Eggman's voice was heard from the wall. A theme song began to play in the background.
Prepare for trouble-
..And make it double!
To protect the world from devastation,
And to unite the people of this nation.
"Jes… Eh, hem!"
"Er… wrong script! Your fired E-354. You shall leave my services now," said the stupid-for-all-his-intelligence doctor, not realizing he had just granted freedom to his droid.
Appearing through a make shift door he ploughed out with his fat, Doctor Robotnik began to work his newest invention.
Sonic began to throw a tantrum since he couldn't get to the supermarket as fast as he would like, Knuckles just stared at the new robot in amusement and Tails began to babble.
"I think there's a high ratio over the success of our future attempts to jump over the Robowall. Perhaps we shou…" He was cut off by Knuckle's fist knocking him upside and out of the screen. Attention turned back to the doctor.
"Today Sonic, I will finally defeat you! My…um, well… Er, Egg Hopper will crush you," the deep voice bellowed as Eggman got in his machine.
The Egg Hopper began to shake as it's function was soon to be revealed. So the gang began to tense up in preparation. And randomly, some kid yelled "Hey mom, do eggs have big legs and a mouth?"
Sonic had to hold in silent laughter while at the same time almost erupting in fury, as the Egg Hopper began to sing in the most screechy tone. "Oh, MYYyy. Weee HHHAaaave a Soonniccc HERE! And Iii stillll HAavvve hhoPPe 'eeaaaR," Then in a less singsong it said, "I have hope that I will beat you yet, Sonic the Hedgehog!"
The robot crumbled from Eggman's weight and crumpled the dream of the Egg Doctor. "No, it was supposed to jump on you not… not HOPE!!" Doctor Robotnik yelled in frustration. The fox of the group beamed.
"HAhahAAha! That's a good one Eggman! What next? An Egg Self Destruct? Can't you think of anything good."
"Er…I'll get you yet, don't forget this!" Eggman shouted and pressed the escape pod button. Instead the robot blew up, leaving Eggman to blast away for his grand escape.
SO, the trio continued on their trip to the super market. On the way they saw various things like chilidog stands hidden from Sonic's view, giant labs, and increase-your-fist-size-and-strength-gyms, but they were all forgotten in the excitement to visit the supermarket.
Soon the gang reached the grocers. Sonic and Knuckles pulled out bazookas and blasters at the author who was trembling in fear. "NO! Not that kind of gang." The gun ammo disappeared leaving a disappointed duo.
Tails took the opportunity to pull out his own Easy-Kill-Dagger (™ of Tail's the nerd.) "Take this for humiliating me, author!" Tails sneered. Noticing this, the author yelled, "Er… Maybe next time! Gottago!" before making his escape in a convenient dust cloud. Mysteriously, bottles of Go'gurt appeared in the hands of the V.E.T. members (Very Entertaining Trio) who slurped them up.
They walked in through the front door. The receptionist looked up from her cash register and called them over. "What would you like today?"
"Um, we're just looking around. Knuckles go check the right side of the store for the missing goods, using your ability to climb walls to reach stuff. Tails, use your tails to fly over the aisles and assist Knuckles. I'll search from the ground using my super speed," Sonic announced as if it were some sort of reconnaissance mission.
Sonic walked off towards the right aisles. "Let's see. The easiest way to find what's on your list is to think of things you can pull pranks with. Eggs, to chuck at Tail's when he's annoying…Lemonade, so I can make it look like Knuckles wet his pantsoh yeah he doesn't wear them…And maybe some Freezing water to pull a wake up joke on myself…No, Wait! Why would I want to prank my self?"
"Yeah Sonic. I think you really need to cool down. Here!" Sonic turned around to see… Shadow! He began to convulse and twitch remembering their last meeting…
Sonic and Shadow met up at a local rubbish dump. They were looking for the 4th Chaos Emerald before Eggman could get his hands on it.
Without warning, Shadow jumped into a pile of garbage. Impatient, Shadow called out to Sonic. "Hurry up," Sonic just gave him an indignant look. "If you don't, I'll…I'll put a hex on you cursing me to be my shadow for ever," Shadow lied hoping to fool Sonic.
Sonic suddenly looked frightened and ran away. He really didn't want to be under a hex. No matter what Tails or Knuckles told him…Hexes just had to exist! Didn't they?
Soon, Eggman's base came into view. Eggman stepped out. "Hello Sonic, why are you here today? You know I haven't finished my plans for destroying the world yet. Do you need something, a cookie perhaps?"
"It's Shadow! He's threatening to hex me!" Sonic cowered in fright behind the egg-lover. The Doctor, on vacation, had actually listened to Sonic, not realizing he had the chance to kill his nemesis right there.
"Hold on!" he bellowed, "Let me get my Egg Bazooka N-60 Storm. I'll be right back."
A few hours later, Shadow was running for his life. He ducked over a pile of garbage, as a beam of laser incinerated it. Somehow, the ground nearly fell up on him, even though he was standing on it by gravity. He was fighting a law defying battle, and the odds were against him. "Sonic, you imbecile! Can't you take a little joke?" Shadow hissed. Either Sonic hadn't heard him or apparently Sonic was ignoring him.
"Haha HA! You won't get away this time you meddling project! I need you for my experiments, Ultimate Lifeform!" Eggman yelled in interest like a toddler would at a toy car.
"You're hex won't work on me now, you curser! Eggman gave me a special hex-repellant cap against you," indeed on Sonic's head was a hat that said 'hex-free'.
"Argh," Shadow grunted in frustration. "How thick can that fool be!? Fooled by some stupid cap for stooges from a mental ward?" Soon Shadow got an idea and used Chaos Control to get away in a bling.
The next day, Sonic awoke after the failed chase. "Delivery for the foolish fakir, Sonic," a voice called from the front door. After collecting the letter and booting out the annoying delivery man, Sonic read the letter.
"Hello poor fakir,
I hope you had a good time with your 'hex-free cap'…You were doped by that fashion less egg. And by the way, hexes don't exist.
Look behind you…
BOO!"
After turning around and falling onto his rear in surprise at the word he read, Sonic began to fume at Eggman's deceit of him…
Shadow's boost shoes knocked over a barricade of water bottles which drenched Sonic from head to foot. A smug look on his face, Shadow made his getaway through a cereal box portal, reappearing out of the cashier's drawer.
After being stunned by battery in a flash light, Sonic ran off to chase Shadow in a fit of fury. "SHADOW! Come back here! Or…I'll rip of Mr. Teddywinkle's HEAD!"
Shadow ran back in with a screech, "NO! Please, anything but his head," by now he was on his knees.
"How about your head," Sonic sneered. "Okay. As long as it's not Mr. Teddywinkle."
After removing Shadow from the store, Sonic gathered up the items on his list and headed back to the counter to wait for the other two.
Tails had seen an odd sight when he started to fly up over the aisles and saw a giant egg next to the egg wracks, which oddly shook.
Knocking a hole in the egg with his tail, Tails saw Eggman watching a cooking channel on poached eggs.
"Whacha doing Eggman?"
"Silence! This educational show is of utmost importance. And, if you really must know I'm hiding here so I can launch a sneak attack on you when I least expect it."
"Don't you mean when 'you'?"
"Argh! Shut Up! If you want to be captured, come again some other time." Eggman daunted, red faced and annoyed.
Shrugging, Tails flew back to the counter and met up with Sonic and Knuckles. The last thing he said was,
"Yo mama so fat, when she gets on a weighing scale, she remembers you and you sneeze/vomit out your last meal!" Eggman who grew angry and red-faced recalling that particular event. Pressing the escape pod button, he flew up and hit the roof. The shuttle went through but Eggman rolled out of the entrance, only knocking over twenty-three staff, a monster truck, and a rival, heavy-weight boss. "I'll get you yet!" he yelled to no one in particular.
The VETs left back for the hedgehog's house, not including the dozens of fans trailing after them…