Prologue
"Alone at last!" The minute he said those words, she should have known something was coming, something that will haunt her...
Forever.
Hope thinks over the conversation she had with John earlier, shaking her head from side to side.
"I have no intention of reliving it." she told him earlier, yet now he had awoken memories that make her cringe in shame..
She throws her hands into the air, then sits forward on the couch, takes a sip of coffee, then puts the cup back on the table, somewhat harshly, then exclaims aloud:
"Who on earth could've told him about that. That! Of all things, who would mention that time to him!" she pushes her hands through her hair, and sighs somewhat loudly.
His words still echo in her mind.
"Did we have fun?"
Fun?!" she gets a flash of memory, tumbling with him, on a large queen size bed, panting, slick with sweat, him on top then herself taking over, grabbing at him as if she'll never get enough....
"That wasn't me!" she says again, aloud, then softer, almost whispering, "it might've been my body, but it wasn't me."
She hears a small stampede coming down the stairs, then Bo's voice as he halts on the bottom step.
"Coming, Fancyface?" she turns around, and smiles.
"Yup, I'll be up in sec." As he smiles, then turns to go back upstairs, this time his footsteps muffled by the upwards angle, she bites down on her bottom lip, as John's last words echo in her mind, before he mercifully changed the subject.
"It's okay, I got my answer. It was hot!"
As she slips forward, grabbing her cup and standing up from the couch, the words tumble over her lips in a whisper, her mouth twitching and her eyebrow lifting with irony.
"What an understatement..."
She goes through to the kitchen and places her cup in the sink, then turns to leave, yet stays there in the middle of the kitchen, motionless, as the last part of the conversation replays in her mind.
"I told you everything you wanted to know. Back off!"
"Fair enough. I won't mention it again."
"Good, Thank you."
"You have my word."
"Good."
He passes around her as she wipes over her face. She felt so uncomfortable, passing so close by him, after telling him, no!, being forced to tell him about the...submarine."
"You believe me?" he sounded surprised.
It was an effort to face him, and sound so calm as she asked him just that.
"You sound surprised?"
"Yeah, just a little."
Perhaps she sounded too trusting? She felt like she had to explain why she trusted him. Explain to a man that was her best friend, almost a brother, her shoulder to lean on, why she trusts him! The whole situation seems preposterous, and yet, she doesn't know this man anymore.
"Look I know you are not the man you once were, and this, um," she waves her hand, gesturing to the whole person standing in front of her, " new...you..from what I can tell, like it or not, is what you see is what you get."
"The only question then is, do you like it...or not?" the way he emphasized the word you, made it seem so much more personal than the words themselves, she felt more uncomfortable than before. He has a way of doing that. Ever since he came back he has been so damn arrogant, so disdainful of everyone. Seeming so...dangerous, as if he always has ulterior motives in what he says. You just don't know what to expect. She went back to shuffling papers, unseeing, not wanting to look him in the eye.
"That is a strange question to ask." she was playing for time, not knowing how to answer, and he knew, of course he knew, how could he not pick that up!
"Well, I'm a strange guy." he swings back around, willing her to face him, still so damn arrogant as if he is enjoying her discomfort... "So what's your answer?"
"Well, let's see..." she wills herself to face him, "I would have to say that, um," she forces herself to look him in the eye, then ops for the truth, " I am starting to get used to this new...new you."
He smiled in a way that made it difficult to read what he was thinking. Pleased. Satisfied. Perhaps relieved. Could it be that underneath that shell he actually still cares what the citizens of Salem think of him?
She herself felt very relieved as Bo entered the drawing room, from searching the top part of the house. The interrogation was finally over.
It wasn't a lie, she was starting to get used to him, the way he is now, the person he has become, perhaps her memories of the sub helped her deal with this change, an advantage most other people in Salem don't have. This John is a lot closer to the man she knew as Gina than who he was before the last brainwashing...
She feels cold and realizes that she had been standing, frozen half way between the kitchen sink and the door.... How could one little conversation upset her this much? Perhaps because she can't tell Bo, because she feels too ashamed, and didn't want to hurt him with the memories of that time. John certainly had no qualms in mocking her about how Bo would feel about their conversation.
She makes a sound, very much like a grunt, then takes off, up the stairs, after Bo, where she will once again feel safe and warm, held in his strong arms.