Hello. We are here today to discuss the new Eragon book, Inheritance. Please turn off your cellphone. Prepare for randomness. Debate me at the end if you feel like it. I welcome contradiction.

Though this story is madness, there is a method in it. It's the story of how I read the Inheritance series, and what I thought when I was done. Me. Angela. You say I can't read the books because I'm in them, well, let me tell you, I can do whatever I want. And I wasn't there for half the fun stuff. I had to read up on it.

As you know, I'm your host for today, Angela. We will have a special guest star join us later, to give his opinion on the newest installment of the Inheritance Cycle, but for now, it's just me, and you, the reader. The fourth wall used to be here, too, but I think I killed it already.

Are you comfy? Excellent, then we can begin.

I'm going to go through the top fifteen things I didn't like about the book, and don't look at me like that. There was a lot not to like!

We'll start from the bottom, with number fifteen. Here we have the issue of Tenga.

A minor issue, perhaps, but one that irks me. The author - yes, we're referencing the author, Christopher Paolini. I told you, I can do whatever I want, including smash the fourth wall even further. Now, no more innteruptions.

The author sees fit to introduce a crazy, puzzling person who doesn't do much to advance the plot in book three - Tenga. The author then proceeds to weave mystery around this "Tenga" character by making it so the mention of his name annoys me, Angela, the quirkiest and perhaps most mysterious main character, if I do say so myself.

Then the author drops Tenga, and doesn't even mention his name in book four. Ouch! Our expectations lie bleeding on the floor.

Now, on with irritation number fourteen. What did Murtagh say? Again, and extremely minor issue, but it drives me mad. Let's go right to the quote from book three, Brisingr. Blah, blah, blah, and a soldier says, "Let Murtagh and his monster of a dragon catch our mysterious fugitive, eh?" Another soldier says, "Unless we be searching for Murtagh. You heard what Morzan's spawn said well as I did." Then, another soldier says, "Keep your yap shut, Derwood. You talk too much." Then they all leave. And Eragon is like, so, what did Murtagh SAY?

Well, that's a question that never got resolved. Maybe it was never meant to be resolved. BUT IT STILL ANNOYS ME. So. On with irritation number thirteen.

The Ra'zac's eggs. Oooh, so there are more eggs? Did I just miss it, or did we never find out whether they survive or not?

Irritation twelve - Christopher Paolini said, unless I'm mistaken, that Brom would come back in Inheritance. He said it wouldn't be in the way we expected... but honestly, being seen from under a bunch of diamond doesn't count as coming back, in my opinion. I mean - he's still dead. He really isn't back.

Irritation eleven is the Belt of Beloth the Wise. There is so much emphasis put on the fact it's missing, missing mysteriously, missing so that magic can't even find it. A simple "accio" charm would probably do the trick, but why all the emphasis on it's being lost and never found?

This brings us to plot hole ten. Roran's magic. Give us the idea he can use it, give him a rock and tell him to say "Stenir Risa," and then... well, let him continue without using it once. What does this do for the plot?

Nine, I know, I'm doing this nice and fast. We might have time for our guest star soon. Nine is Brom's last words. Okay, so, right before he dies, Eragon's father whispered some words in the Ancient Language, and then, even more quietly, he told his son what they meant. Then he told Eragon to only use them at great peril. We came to the end of the series, and we still didn't know what he was talking about. It's a letdown. A big fat letdown, and here's our guest star now, someone who was referenced so much in the series that there's a page for him on the Inheritance Wiki.

THE DOCTOR!

Vworp! Vworp! Vworp, here comes his TARDIS. Many apologies to those of you who don't know who this guy is. He's "the lonely god" referenced in Brisingr, the inspiration for the piece of knitting I was doing at the end of the fourth book. Because he told me about the planet Raxacoricofallapatorius, and I liked it so much I had to knit its name into something.

AnyWHO, here he is.

Dig the trench coat, Doc. Yes, this is his tenth incarnation. The tenth is my favorite.

So, what does he say about Inheritance?

"Wait 'till you get to the end. Oh, I cried."

If the Doctor approves of it, then I guess I hate it just a little less. Unfortunately, time is up, back to our little talk.

Disappointment number eight. Aren. Yes, the magical, awesome-ical ring that Brom spent years providing with energy. Then we move rocks with it. No offense. But... Eragon. Moves. ROCKS. With. The. Ring...

*awkward, tense silence*

Let's go to seven! Murtagh. He was such an interesting character, and, what, we don't get much of him? He's not even a viewpoint character? In my opinion, there wasn't enough of him.

Letdown six! I felt Eragon's leaving Alegasia wasn't really believable. Not being able to find a place to raise dragons seemed like a REALLY weak argument for fulfilling a prophecy. It was like he was going it JUST because he knew it was prophesied.

Five, and we're getting into the BIG leagues, now. Murtagh and Nasuada's romance - seemed to bloom, and then the flower sort of fell to the ground and died. Letdown for Murtagh and Nasuada shippers.

FOUR! The people I, Angela prophesied for. So, I only prophesy for certain special people? These girls, here, obviously have an amazingly interesting history. Just when we think they've been dropped from the plot, we have one of them show up and save a character's life. Then, boom, they're gone again, this time for good.

Three, and these might be dumb, just matters of opinion, but they add up! Roran and Katrina's kid, and Elva. Neither did as much as I thought they would. Also, Saphira's romance went waaay too quickly for my taste.

Two. Menoa Tree. THE MENOA TREE! I was upset about this one. It asks for something from Eragon, and he rashly promises to give it anything. Then he feels a slight twinge in his lower belly, and it releases him and doesn't say anything else. Once you've sort of forgotten about it, Eragon actually, literally, GOES UP TO THE TREE and asks it what it wants from him, within a hundred pages of the end. It doesn't reply. We're all left wondering...

And one. ONE, the big, big ONE. Eragon and Arya's romance was... there are no words. They hold hands, while their dragons go and mate? Arya shared her TRUE NAME with Eragon. Then they hold hands. THEY HOLD HANDS, I CANNOT STINKING STRESS THAT ENOUGH. So much for an epic romance. It wasn't that epic, because she never really returned his feelings, and it didn't end tragically, just lamely.

Thank you for reading this. And to everyone who's wondering about me, Angela, I'm a Time Lady from Gallifrey, but I fell into this parallel world and now I'm trapped without any Daleks to fight.

At least, that's my theory about who I am. Dearie me, there goes the fourth wall again.

A/N: That might be one of the dumbest things I've ever written. XD Sorry about that, I just HAD to stick the Doctor in there. His line was pretty much from "The Shakespeare Code," if you didn't catch that.

Also, sorry for the tangledness of it - and the grammatical errors that are sure to be there - and maybe some OOCness from Angela - it was basically just me talking. Oh well. I had to vent.

Thoughts? You can flame, because I feel like basically what I was doing here was flaming :P But don't be overly nasty, because I don't think I was OVERLY nasty. Just stating my opinion... it's a free country, right? But please, feel free to stick up for the series. I really liked it, still, somehow. Especially Eragon.