Elizabeth Ferral gagged and barfed. At the same time. Over her crush's lap. On a date. In a picnic. He was not happy.
"Fuck, Eliza! What the hell is wrong with you!" Nicholas MacDowell jumped up and attempted to brush off his shorts.
Oopsie- daisies. I did not just do that. That was so my bad.
"Gee, I'm really sorry, Nicholas. Guess your dog joke was just to funny, I couldn't resist showing you one of my funniest tricks." I smiled the best I could, which I do really well while trying not to laugh.
I mean, the poor dude's face was hilarious. He looked somewhere between disbelieving, disgusted and horrified. Did he really think that was my best joke? Damn, what an idiot.
Here, lemme explain. I'm Elizabeth Ferral and the girl standing behind the tree is my sister Danielle. She's taping the whole thing. Hey, I did have a crush on him, but that was before I found out he had a freakish Justin Beiber haircut and baby blue eyes. Yelck.
You see, me and my sister here do a show called 'Life at it's Craziest', and it's a massive hit and all on YouTube, and we're crazy popular because of it. We basically put up video's of hellish- embarrassing moments with people deal with on a daily basis, just to make them feel better, y'know.
And people do embarrassing things all the time, no matter what the situation, so we provide emotional relief to the poor dudes out there.
This one time, we did a thing on this couple, which was me and my friend iHop (Yeah, that's his actual name, FYI) who were sittin' on a park bench, yeah? Then this dude runs by, (another bestie of mine, I have just two, Aaron and iHop) and I accidentally stepped on his shoelace, Aaron really tripped an' almost cracked his old head on the bench. I got up and acted all worried, then tied his shoelace myself (damned god knows why I did) and then the jerk holds 'is other foot out, untied shoelace and I'mma all like 'wtf' man?
Yeah, you probably wouldn't get it if I explained it like this, but I'd tell you assured, that was our best one till date. Or so I thought, 'cause this one acting up better since poor Nicholas didn't even know what hit him. So his acting was better, even though he went off thinking I did it on purpose, not for a hidden camera he ain't got no clue about.
I let out'a wild whoop which got a bunch o' oldies staring at me like I was the crazy one, instead o' the old lady sitting there nodding her head like she was listening to music while looking at a cute sophomore who was running the track.
Lady, find someone your own age, and you ain't need to look at pretty boys like a creeper over there.
Anyway, Ella (Yep, we call her that 'cause my name's Eliza and she'd ain't be the same) ran up and high- fived me cause the old fools iHop and Aaron were laughing their little butts off, instead of going to celebrate with me and my sister.
"Oi, knuckleheads, me and Elle're heading off for Slushies, y'all join when you done laughing, 'kay?"
I ran off behind my sister who was getting into our car. Yep, I'm proud to say it's a Porsche Cayenne (Platinum Edition, I know my cars) and she grinned, saying "That was the best one yet, Eliza. I'm going to put that up tonight." I smiled and my phone rang (I'm a good age o' sixteen, ya can't say I ain't got a cell) and when I picked it up you can be betting I wish I hadn't.
ELIZABETH JEAN FERRAL! YOU GET HOME RIGHT NOW, YOUNG LADY! AND TELL YOUR SISTER THAT HER CAMERA IS CONFISCATED FOR A WEEK!" Me ma yelled across the phone and I winced at her loud voice.
"A'right, a'right, ma, don't get your knickers in a twist, we're coming." I tried my best to calm the old lass down but she being me mum and all, she went right on and ranted her head off.
"DON'T YOU TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, MISSY! YOUR PRINCIPAL CALLED! YOU'VE BEEN EXPELLED! AGAIN!"
And I did the worst thing that I could in the situation, I laughed and me mum almost screamed.
"Shut your trap, Elizabeth, and get home right now." she said, her voice cold and I knew better than to mess with her when she put that tone on.
"Yes, maám. Right away." I mock -saluted and shut the phone, taking a deep breath to calm me poor frayed nerves.
"What did she say?" Danielle frowned and I grinned and replied "You ain't getting your camera back, now, Ella. Expelled, again."
Ella let out a loud laugh and I joined in.
Now, I know you wouldn't find kids so happy to be expelled from school, but damn, you see see my school and your reminded o' a military school. Hence the bad remarks.
Hell, I gotta say, that's the seventh school me and Ella got expelled from, and I'll be damned if our ol' mama sends us to another one.
We drove home in silence, undoubtedly worried, we were, 'cause ma could make quite a stir if she wanted to and pa was never there to control her. Yeah, me and Danielle are step- sisters', I never knew me parents except they came from some tribe o' something.
I was adopted, so ma wasn't really... ma.
When we got home, Ella opened the door and called "Mom, we're home!" But ma didn't answer. I got worried now, ma was always there at home when we came back.
"Ma! What're ya doing hiding from us?" I called, quickly walking up to our room, Ella following me.
I slammed the door of our room open and there was mum, packing suitcases. Naw, our suitcases. She was throwing all our clothes and belongings into two gigantic bags and I yelled "Ma! What in Blues Name are you doing? Gone off of your rocker, haven't you?"
Mum turned to us and I was taken off guard by her expression. She was crying, tears streaming down her pretty face as she held out a roll of papers. Ella snatched it before I could put me hands on it and read it, her face going pale.
What was written in that bundle of chopped down trees flattened out and formed into paper?
I read it over me sisters shoulder and almost had a bloody heart attack.
It was a certificate o' something, written that I was adopted (I knew that, a'right) and me legal aunt was somewhere in the middle of nowhere, in a town named after cutlery, Ella snorted, and Danielle's biological mum was there too.
Coincidence, my foot.
All the way from Dublin to some random place in Washington DC called Forks.
The flight was in less than two hours, and our ma here found out ten minutes ago.
"I love you, call me as soon as you reach, yes?" Ma smiled sadly and enveloped the two of us in a hug.
I scowled. I didn't want to leave ma, but she kicked us outta the house.
"Only for a month o' two, right ma? You promised." I pouted like a little kid.
"Right, now off with you, or you'll miss your flight." She ignored me, but we could see Ma was trying to be strong and Ella smiled, waving before walking back into the terminal where a man was waiting for us.
He smiled and said in a British accent "Good morning, ladies. I hope you have a great journey." Danielle smiled and fluttered her eyelashes (ever the girl, that one) and replied "Thank you, sir. Have a good day." Taking her boarding pass back and winking at me, I rolled me eyes.
You see, Danielle is blessed with the good looks of her parents.
She ain't your normal Irish girl, mind you, though. She's got her mum's bright brown eyes and dark hair, but her best feature is her smile. When Danielle smiles, boys fall at her feet like goo. Ah, I've had my experiences, trust me. And then she's got the tall figure, could be a model if she wanted, my sister could.
Me, I'm a whole different story. I ain't look anything like Danielle or Ma, 'cause I ain't related to 'em at all. No, I'm your true Irish, to put it nicely. Dark red hair and green eyes and all, you know the works. Tall, too, almost 5'9, though Ella's '9 and a half, we're almost the same.
Y'know, only the accent's Irish. Everything else is all my school, they got me mixed up with all American and Irish speech. So I ain't pure, nope.
"Passenger's prepare for takeoff." The intercom buzzed and I rested me head on Ella's shoulder, falling asleep pretty quick. After all, it was a 10 and half hour journey.
"Lizzy, wake up." I woke to Ella prodding me painfully on the shoulder and mumbled "Shuddap, Ella. I want to sleep."
"Elizabeth, we're here!"
That got me up and blinking, trying to look outta the window and see the town. Ella laughed and said "Silly, we're at Seattle, Forks is a hour or two drive from here."
Oh, stupid me.
When we got off of the dreary flight, I kept an eye for me aunt, even though I ain't seen her in me life before. But maybe it was a trick? Nah, the papers were signed by an attorney, I know that one.
Where was that ole lady?
I saw a scary looking woman walk towards me, but thought she was looking for someone else, so shifted me gaze back to searching for me aunt.
I probably got the shock of me life when the said lady with the dragon scars smiled at me and hugged me like I was her long- lost kid. What the heck is her problem?
"Elizabeth! My gods, haven't you grown! You're so pretty!" she gushed, and I stopped from rolling me eyes as Ella silently laughed.
"Do I know you?" I asked, trying to keep the slang outta me voice. Trust me, it ain't that easy.
"Don't you remember me, Elizabeth? I'm your aunt. Your mothers sister." her eyes were sad and all, but at her last sentence I think I almost fainted.
Me ma had a sister. I actually had a blood relation with this lady. Holy crap.
"Your me ma's sister?" I breathed, the slang slipping back in. She gave me a genuine smile and nodded.
"What bout me sister here? I can't leave her here by herself." Turning to where Ella had been standing, there wasn't no one there.
"Ella?" Looking 'round, I saw me sister crying and hugging a short woman, who was also crying.
"Lizzy! Lizzy!" Ella called, running to me "Oh Liz! I found her! She's my mother! I even have my birth papers!"
She crashed right into me and I stumbled. I gotta say, Ella's getting fat.
"That's awesome, kiddie. So you coming to cutlery or what?" I said, hugging her. Me sister's happiness is my happiness.
Ella laughed. "It's Forks, stupid. And no, we're going on to Florida."
I stilled. Florida. Me bestie, ma sister and confidant, was moving away. But I always knew this day was gonna come. After all, she liked Florida. Always dreamed of going there. And I wasn't gonna stop her. Nor am I gonna cry. For ma sister.
"That's great, Ella. I'll miss ya." I smiled and pulled away and she wiped tears.
"I- I'll miss you, Liz. I want to come with you, but this is the only good option I'm ever going to get." she hiccuped and I rolled me eyes.
"Then who's telling ya to leave it? Naw, girlie. You gonna go, and go right now. Now shoo, go to your ma." I smacked her arm and she gave a watery smile, hugging me one last time.
"You're the best sister I could ever hoped for." she whispered and I bit me lip.
"Y' too. And I already knew that." I replied cockily and she laughed.
"I love you! Bye!" she waved and walked away.
"YOU BETTER VISIT ME OFTEN, ELLA! OR I'M GONNA COME THERE AND KICK YOUR BUTT!" I hollered and she laughed, disappearing through the entrance again.
I glanced back at the lady who was me aunt, and she smiled sadly at me. Now what?
"I'm sorry I separated you from your sister like this." she said and I felt bad.
Putting a hand on her shoulder I did me best to reassure her. "Don't worry, lady. She wasn't mine to have anyway. Now, what's yer name?"
The woman laughed and replied "Emily Uley. And I love your accent."
I grinned "Thank ye, miss Uley. I'm gonna take a long time to get used to the fact yer me aunt, yeah?"
"Take all the time you need, call me Emily. And I'm sorry its on such short notice, Elizabeth." Emily apologized.
"Naw, its cool. And you can call me Lizzy."
Emily smiled. "I love Elizabeth. It's a beautiful name, so if you don't mind I'd rather call you that."
I shrugged and followed her to a amazing old truck, stuffing me things in the back seat and hopping in shotgun.
Truth be told, I never was that close to Ella. Nah, we were just friends. Nothing serious there, so it ain't hurt that much, I only knew her for three years o' so.
I looked outta the window as Emily drove. When we reached Forks, it was all green and wet, and it was drizzling slightly.
I already liked it.
I hope you liked it! The basic idea for me was that since I tried ( and failed ) to do the words in Irish way of speaking, I'd rather just have her accent as such. You know the difference, hopefully. :) Review! It make my day.