"Why are you doing this, Kurt?", Artie questioned with a frustrated groan. He was usually very polite and easy-going with his fellow Glee clubbers, but after what he'd just gone through with Brittany, he really didn't have it in him to plaster on a fake smile right now.
Only looking slightly taken aback by his friend's obvious bad mood, Kurt began to explain what he himself had thought of as blatantly obvious, which Artie clearly hadn't.
"Since Rachel so graciously and unnecessarily extended the offer to sing a duet with me after I brought the house down with "Le Jazz Hot", I thought I'd repay the universe its kindness by volunteering to do the same with you."
As much sarcasm as that statement had been lined with, Artie still got the feeling that Kurt really was offering to sing with him out of kindness, which actually managed to lightened up his crappy mood at least to some degree. He knew he'd be lying to both Kurt and himself if he said he hadn't cared about the outcome of the duets competition, because truthfully, he'd been looking forward to singing his duet with Brittany the whole week.
With that in mind, Artie swallowed the sense of pride he was feeling about giving into Kurt's offer that easily, and simply nodded towards his friend.
"That does sound like a pretty dope deal, dude." He felt like he needed to look at himself in a mirror to believe it, but he could actually feel a genuine smile spreading across his face. As much as it surprised him, that Hummel boy sure was good at cheering people up.
"I haven't got the slightest idea what you just said, dude.", Artie giggled as Kurt put air-quotes and extra emphasis on the word. "But judging from your new-found enthusiasm, I assume you've accepted my offer, correct?"
"Yeah, I guess I have.", Artie replied, keeping his statement as close to traditional American English as he could, for Kurt's convenience.
"Splendid!", Kurt exclaimed with obvious excitement. Artie started to become suspicious of how eager Kurt seemed to be about singing with him, but that thought was pushed aside as quickly as it had popped into his head. He knew very well about Kurt's sexual orientation, but Artie thought he was flattering himself a bit too much if he actually considered the possibility of Kurt having a crush on him. As far as Artie considered, Kurt was about as physically attractive and desirable as gay guys come, while he himself had a severe addiction to both video games and sweater vests.
"So", Kurt began, snapping Artie out of his thoughts. "Shall we go over the choreography or our respective singing parts first? You do have a lot of lyrics to remember."
"Hold up a second. You've already picked a song?" Artie looked more than a little surprised, but he couldn't help but smile at the thought of how dedicated Kurt was to this project of theirs.
"As a matter of fact, I have." Kurt proclaimed happily."Stan", performed by Eminem and Dido. It fits both my tradition of singing female songs and yours of rapping, though I did realize early on that we'll have to spend a considerable amount of time censuring some of the profanities in certain verses, but I'm convinced the final result will be an amazing duet between two very different voices." He looked very pleased with this idea, but upon realizing how his bossiness might upset his duet partner, he added. "If you don't have any other suggestions, of course."
"No!", Artie exclaimed in a rush. "I mean, not at all. It actually sounds really awesome, to be honest.", he said, amazed at Kurt's bold song selection. The first thing that came to his mind when Kurt had suggested they should sing together was a much more Broadwayesque number, most certainly a female-female duet, probably performed in full drag, if he knew Kurt's flamboyant side. He could only sigh in relief when he realized he wasn't going to have to force his feet into a pair of 5 inch stilettos. However, he wasn't 100 % safe yet, he realized.
"Wait. I'm not gonna have to roll off the stage to match the lyrics of when Stan drives his car off a bridge, right?", Artie asked nervously. He knew once Kurt had a vision, he usually went all out.
"It pains me how little you think of me, Artie", Kurt said in a mock hurt tone.
"One can never be to sure.", Artie stated with a frown. "You do remember first week of Glee club, right? Rachel didn't seem to mind pushing me off the stage for some dramatic effect, or whatever her intentions were."
With a hand over his heart, he looked deeply into Artie's eyes and swore "I, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, promise to never compromise the safety of Arthur Abrams, as long as we both shall remain duet partners."
"Only for that long?", Artie teased, and pulled out his best sad puppy imitation when Kurt rolled his eyes at him.
"Now, we have a lot of hard work ahead of us if we want to blow everyone out of their seats with our far superior duet and talent." Kurt had always been a master at changing topics, and this was no different. "I suggest we start practicing immediately after school today, if you have no conflicting appointments?"
"Well, I was gonna take a really long nap, then play some TF2 with Sam over Steam, but I guess I could reschedule?", Artie shrugged with a smile.
"Again, I have no idea what TF2 is an abbreviation of, or what on Earth a Steam is, but wonderful. How does 5 o'clock sharp at your place sound?"
"Wonderful, old chap.", Artie replied with his best impression of an 19:th century snob. Luckily for him, Kurt wasn't easily offended and realized it was just a joke, but he was nonetheless rewarded with a playful shove, which he frankly thought he deserved.
He hadn't ever really given the idea of singing a duet with someone as different from him as Kurt that much thought, but the way things were going right now, they seemed to be a miss-match made in heaven.