"Why are you embarrassed, Rin? Just strip already" Haru said impatiently. Rin couldn't for his life figure out why he had agreed to this in the first place. And just why, exactly, was he so damn embarrassed? It wasn't like Haru hadn't seen him without clothes, hell, they swam together every week. Yet, here he was, standing in Haru's room at his house stripping down to just his underwear. Still, he couldn't believe why Haru would want to draw him. Sure, girls thought that he looked good given the glances he got whenever he was out or in school. Why couldn't Haru, for example, draw Makoto instead? He probably would have said yes without a second thought. Rin, on the other hand, had refused right away. With the excuse of not having enough time, too busy with swimming, school etc. Rin had just turned away from Haru stuffing his hands in his pockets until Haru said "Are you running away?" that had made Rin startled and stop dead in his tracks. With an annoyed look on his face he turned and grabbed the front of Haru's shirt and said "I'm not!" With his usual blank expression Haru replied "Then let me draw you". Rin had gritted his teeth for a minute and then reluctantly with a heavy sigh said "Fine. I'll do it."
In a swift movement, Rin stripped himself of everything except his underwear. The nervousness he felt was something he didn't want to show Haru, and he didn't trust his hands not to shake if he was to take of his clothes slowly. He glanced at Haru and saw that he just looked like he usually did. No expression on his face, although his eyes did shine a bit more than they usually did... or not. Maybe it was just his imagination. It was a bit cold and Rin shivered, whilst gritting his teeth. Right now, he just wanted this to be over and done with. He crossed his arms and said "What now?" "Just stand as you are, for now" Haru replied and started sketching.
This was very different from when they were swimming. First of all, it was just the two of them. Which rarely happened, there were always other people around them and at the pool, everything was just about swimming. The whole embarrassing thing about this was that Rin had suspected that he might, well, have feelings for Haru. Not the feeling of friendship, he felt like he always wanted something more. When he thought no one saw, he would watch Haru. That's why standing in just his underwear in Haru's room, he felt oddly naked.
The thought of Haru watching him, studying his every muscle made his heart beat a little too fast and his hands felt a bit too clammy. It's not like he wasn't proud of his body, he trained it well in order to get faster at swimming. Yet, he wanted to put his clothes on as quickly as possible, or cover it with his arms as he was now.
And he absolutely refused to look at Haru now that he had begun drawing. If he did, he was sure he would feel disappointed. Rin really tried to relax, but it was very hard. All the time he could feel Haru intently gazing at him and raking up and down over his body. He swallowed and tried to think about something else that could occupy his mind, but to no avail.
Starting to get frustrated, Rin sighed heavily. Too engulfed in his own thoughts, he didn't even notice that Haru had gotten up from where he was sitting and moving across the floor to him. It was the touch to his stomach which made Rin yelp and jerk back in surprise.
Rin stared at Haru trying to discern the look on his face, which he of course, couldn't. There was no way for him to hide the blush that now covered his face and the tips of his ears. "What do you think you're doing!" Rin shouted instead to try and hide his embarrassment and flinging his arms around.
I knew this was a really bad idea, Rin thought. His breath had quickened and he tried to think of anything but the way Haru had just touched his stomach. The look on Haru's face was indifferent, he just kept gazing at him. Since the silence was getting awkward, at least on Rin's part he tried speaking "Wh-" but was interrupted. "I felt like it. You look good" he deadpanned. Had he just heard that right? Had Haru, who was his friend and secret crush, just told him that he thought he looked good? Rin thought. That had made him stunned and speechless. The blush on his face increased.
Still, this was just way too much for Rin. There was no way he was going to bear this any longer. The last thing he wanted was for Haru to find out how he really felt for him. Even if Haru had just touched him lightly, the places on his stomach where the fingers had trailed felt like they were on fire. Before grabbing his clothes he said "I'm leaving". Only to realize that Haru had grabbed his wrist. "Don't" Haru said softly. Not daring to glance at the boy holding his wrist he muttered "Let me go, I'm not doing this". "Sorry...I just couldn't help it..." Haru replied in a barely audible voice.
After hearing that, he dared a glance at Haru. There was actually, a slight blush on Haru's face and he had averted his eyes. Rin just blinked in surprise, and then the blush on Haru's face was gone and he gazed into his eyes.
Without warning, Haru reached out his other free hand and lightly touched Rin's stomach. This time though, Rin just gasped but didn't move. Feeling his muscles tense, he braced himself for what was about to come.
At the light touch of the light fingers that trailed over his stomach feeling every bulge and dip of his muscles, Rin couldn't help that his breath quickened. "Haru..." he whimpered. This made Haru's head snap up and look at Rin. There was confusion in his face and something else, something Rin couldn't quite figure out what it was.
"I like you..." Rin blurt out, he had to say it. Though he was sure the pounding of his heart, his quick breathing and the blush on his face exposed him. Instead of answering, Haru just turned his back on Rin and walked over to his bookshelf.
Rin's heart sank. Haru had definitely heard what he said, and there was no doubt now that he didn't feel the same. The tears started to prickle and it took all he had not to let them fall. Maybe Haru even felt disgusted, what did he know? No matter how close they had become, Rin still didn't have the ability to figure out what Haru was thinking. What would he think now?
Haru was not a man of words, if he ever spoke at all. A loud thud made Rin snap out of his thoughts. Haru had put a big pile of black, big books on the bed. "Rin." He said and motioned for him to sit on the bed beside the pile of books. Despite the feeling of rejection coursing through him, Rin couldn't help his curiosity and sat beside the pile of books.
As Rin took one of the black books, he glanced at Haru first as if to ask "is it okay if I look?" and Haru just looked at him expectantly. Reluctantly opening the first page, Rin froze. On the page, was a sketch of himself. Looking at the next page there was also a sketch of him. And it looked exactly like him. Flipping through the book, there were sketches of him with all sorts of expressions, happy, sad, angry. Surely there aren't any more sketches of me in the other black books, but as he looked through them, there were in fact, only sketches of him in them.
The tears that he had held back now fell down his cheeks. This must mean what I think it does, Rin thought. To get himself together, he inhaled deeply and said "Haru...Why...?" but that was all he managed. To be sure that Haru meant what he thought he did, he needed Haru to say it himself. A cold sweat broke out on him. Still, he was afraid for what Haru was about to say. What if he had misinterpreted something? What if Haru had just drawn all of these sketches of him for no reason? It being Haru that had drawn them, he never knew what was going on in his mind.
After several minutes of tears streaming down Rin's face and nearly breaking down since Haru just kept silent, he suddenly opened his mouth and simply said "I drew all of these of you because I..." he faltered. Rin pressed on instead of waiting for him to continue "You...what?" For the first time, Haru averted his gaze from Rin's face and whispered "I like you...And stop crying..." He fidgeted nervously on the bed.
Rin stared at Haru in disbelief. Had Haru just said that he...liked him? That was just too good to be true. Before Rin could collect all of his spinning thoughts together, Haru moved swiftly to him and kissed him gently. A sweet, slow and tender kiss, lips brushing softly. Automatically, Rin closed his eyes and just enjoyed the pure bliss that made its way through him. But Haru pulled back and Rin opened his eyes. He blinked several times, still trying to digest what had just happened. The look on Haru's face made it clear though, that Haru, actually did like him. After having pulled back, Haru refused to look at Rin and there was a light flush spread over his cheeks.
Not caring about the fact that he still was in just his underwear, Rin flung his arms around Haru and flushed him close. After a moment of hesitation, he felt Haru hug him back by wrapping his arms around his waist. This was something he had wanted all along, maybe even for longer than he thought. It just felt so right to be hugged by Haru, holding him close and the faint scent of chlorine that wafted into his nose.
They just sat like that, holding each other tightly and feeling the other's warmth. Thoughts in Rin's mind were still spinning around, things like what would become of them now, what would others think and so on. Bur for now, he just enjoyed the moment and the fact that the love of his life had returned his feelings and their love for each other was mutual. The only place Rin wanted to be in now was in Haru's arms, as it was the place where he felt secure. A sigh of relief escaped him and he heard his name being softly whispered into his ear. "Rin..."