I titled this fic as such because I can totally see the ND on one side and the Warblers on the other, trapping Kurt in the middle of a giant game of Tug of War. Not to mention, ever since I got that visual in my head, I've been singing the song to myself. Oh thank you, gods of random song clips (/sarcasm)
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This fic was written for this post on the Glee Angst Meme: glee-angst-meme dot livejournal dot com /26699. html?thread= 17334347&
Prompt will be c/p at the bottom of the page if you don't want to be spoiled by it or if you don't feel like fixing the link above to visit it (darn ffn!)
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Kurt looked around his European History class. He had been at Dalton for months now, and it never ceased to amaze him that entire classes of people listened and answered questions intelligently and actually stayed awake. At McKinley, teachers would often have to speak in loud voices to be heard over the sounds of students talking and making strange body noises and snoring; he had overheard teachers talking about going to the school board to request microphones for use during their lessons, which Kurt found absolutely ridiculous. And rather frightening, to be honest.
The bell rang, but Kurt's classmates didn't bolt from their desks. There were no fights at the doorway to be the first ones to get out. Everyone sat quietly until the teacher announced the homework assignment. The boys all jotted it down in their school issued planners and packed up their bags. The line to the door was calm and orderly.
There was no doubt about it. Dalton was worlds apart from McKinley. Planets apart, really. But Kurt was enjoying every moment of it.
Blaine had taken Kurt under his wing the moment Kurt moved in. Even as an underclassman, Blaine was so well liked that he was appointed as one of the RAs for their dorm. Never had Kurt met anyone as eager to help as Blaine was.
Kurt was pretty certain he fell for the over-exuberant puppy-like boy in a matter of days, but Blaine was a little slower to the party. It took him losing his bird for Blaine to get a clue. Kurt was very sad over the loss of his feathered friend, but there wasn't a day that he didn't say a quick word of thanks to Pavarotti for taking one for the team.
As he always did after fourth period, Blaine was waiting outside Kurt's classroom, ready to walk with him to lunch. Blaine's fourth period teacher was fond of giving the last five minutes of every class period for the class to reflect on what they had been taught and read over the material for the next day's lesson. Kurt wasn't quite sure that those five minutes were ever actually used as intended – hey, the boys at Dalton may be civilized, but they were still teenage boys – but at least they weren't goofing off during actual class time.
"Hey you," Kurt said with a smile. He leaned over and gave Blaine a quick peck on the lips and smiled. God, it felt wonderful to be able to do that. Kurt and Blaine weren't overly demonstrative in public at Dalton – nothing they did outside the walls of one of their dorm rooms could ever be classified as "sucking face" or "groping." It just felt incredible to be able to act like a normal couple among the Dalton student body. God bless zero tolerance bullying policies, Kurt thought.
"Hey yourself, babe. Ready to go?"
"Ugh, yes. I love the fact that I actually have to THINK in my classes here, but my brain slacked off so much at McKinley that it takes time to coax it from a mushball state. I need a break."
Blaine offered Kurt his arm to take. "Well, here I am to rescue you."
"My hero," Kurt sighed in an overly high womanish voice, and both boys giggled.
xXxXxXx
Kurt was in his dorm room slogging through his massive pile of homework when his phone rang. It was the special ring tone he had assigned to Mercedes, which was odd because their friendship had been a bit strained lately; he was actually better friends with Rachel at that point.
He tapped the talk button and greeted her. "Why hello Ms. Jones. To what do I owe the honor of hearing your voice this fine evening?" he said suavely.
Mercedes giggled. "Gosh I miss you, white boy. I'm glad to see you're still ever the charmer."
"Always," he said. "Especially now that I actually have someone to use my powers on."
"Everything still going well, I take it?"
"Would I be sitting here charming your pants off if they weren't?"
"Down boy. All garments are where they should be. There was a time where I would've enjoyed it, but I think your efforts are best directed elsewhere. And no, you wouldn't be. I suspect I'd've been part of a massive Ben and Jerry's binge if you guys were on the rocks. You are GONE over that boy. Absolutely gone."
"Ahh, but what a way to go, right?"
"You know it. So anyway…. I've got some news!"
"You and Sam are finally dating!"
"I … uh… no… wait… what? NO! what makes you think Sam and I are dating?"
"Oh puh-lease. I may have been at Dalton all this time, but that doesn't mean I don't pay attention. I've seen how you look at him with your chocolate brown goo goo eyes," he teased.
"I DO NOT!" Mercedes protested. In a rush to change the subject, she said, "Anyway, that's not what I was going to tell you."
"I'm all ears."
"Bullying is OVER at McKinley!"
"What?"
"There is no more bullying! Nada. Zip. Zero. Zilch."
"How in the WORLD did Figgins pull THAT off?" Kurt said with surprise.
"Well, Karofsky and Santana started an anti-bullying group called the Bully Whips and…"
"Wait, WHAT?"
"You heard me. And now – "
"Mercedes, I hate to break it to you, but if there's no more bullying at McKinley, it's because Karofsky formed this Bully Whips group and had to stop harassing people as part of the act, not because of the group itself. In case you hadn't noticed, he's been kind of the ringleader of most of the crap that's ever happened to me there."
"But Kurt, it doesn't matter! The point is, if Karofsky's not harassing people, then nobody is. It's safe! You can come back home now!" Mercedes said excitedly.
"But – "
"It's going to be so great to have you back at McKinley, Kurt. It's just not the same without you. We miss your voice in Glee club, we miss you trashing people behind their backs in fluent French that no one understands, we miss your fabulous fashion sense in the halls… OOOOH! I just can't WAIT!"
"But – "
Just then, Kurt heard a beep on the other end of the connection, signaling a call waiting on Mercedes' other line. "I'm sorry baby, I have to go! It's…. uh, a friend calling me. To discuss homework. Yes. Gotta go! Bye!"
Without another word from either one of them, Mercedes ended the call and Kurt gave the phone in his hand a helpless look.
"But what if I don't want to go back?" he said to the empty room.
xXxXxXx
"HI KURT!" a grating voice trilled at Kurt from down the hall.
He spun around on his heels at the sound. "Rachel! What are you doing here? Girls are forbidden in the dorms!"
"I just wanted to come and see you! I miss you!" Rachel said dramatically as she threw herself, again, dramatically, into his arms.
"Well hurry up, come miss me in my room before anyone sees you." Kurt yanked on her arm and almost threw her into his room in his haste. A startled Trent, Kurt's roommate, looked at Rachel as if he had never seen a girl before… and never wanted to again.
"What's SHE doing here?" Trent asked, concerned. "If I get thrown out of the dorms because YOU have a girl in here, and you're GAY so I still haven't figured out WHY you have a girl in here, then I'm going to kill you in your sleep."
"Relax. No one saw her, and no one's going to see her. And I'm not going to tell anyone, so as long as YOU don't tell anyone, we're good."
"Fine," Trent said in a huff. He leaned back over the homework on his desk and continued to work.
"Isn't he leaving?" Rachel asked.
"It's his room too. I'm not going to make him leave."
Rachel shrugged. She didn't care who was in the room as long as she was the one Kurt was giving his undivided attention to.
"So, what is going on in the life of Rachel Berry that you could not call me or wait 'til I come to Lima to see my dad weekend?"
"I came to help you pack, of course!"
"Pack?"
"Why, for your move back home, of course! I don't see any boxes around here, haven't you started yet? I thought as soon as you got off the phone with Mercedes – "
"Wait wait wait, why am I moving back home?"
"Yeah, why are you moving back home?" Trent asked.
"I'm not moving back home," Kurt said to Trent. "Why am I moving back home?" he repeated to Rachel.
"Because you're coming back to McKinley," she said very slowly, as if she was speaking to a small child or a hard-of-hearing elderly person. She looked at him with a slight frown. "I thought you'd be jumping for joy, now that Karofsky's reign of terror is over."
"I admit, I'm surprised to hear of this new development, but a leopard doesn't change its spots. You'll forgive me for being rather skeptical."
"Well, you'll get to see him in action soon. I assume you'll move home over the weekend and be back on Monday? Let's start with your clothes, that will take the most time…" She rummaged around in Kurt's half of the closet, pulling large armloads of clothes off the hangers.
"Rachel, STOP!" he yelled, only partially concerned about her harsh treatment of his clothing.
She turned around and looked at him silently.
"I'm NOT coming back to McKinley, Rachel."
"But why?"
"Because I'm happy here."
"But you can be happy in Lima with us, Kurt! We're all your friends!"
"Yes, but you weren't very good friends while I was there. All that abuse I took and it took me leaving for anyone to even have a clue what was going on."
"You could've told us."
"You guys could've noticed. It's not like Karofsky did a good job hiding all the locker shoves and dumpster tosses and homophobic slurs. I was afraid for my life, Rachel. And here, I'm not. And the quite possibly empty promises of a supposedly reformed bully who has done nothing to reach out to his former victims aren't nearly enough to make me go back."
Rachel's face fell briefly, but in true Rachel Berry form, she schooled her expression into a totally neutral one. "Fine. We don't need you, anyway. In fact, it's better without you there. Without you around, I don't have anyone trying to take my solos away from me. And your desperate need to be noticed isn't pulling focus from me. And your sharped high notes aren't leading the whole group astray."
"I do not sharp my high notes!" Kurt jumped to his own defense.
"He's right. He has perfect pitch."
"Thank you, Trent."
"No problem, Kurt."
"Well fine. I can tell when I'm not wanted."
"You couldn't tell fifteen minutes ago when you got here?" Trent mumbled under his breath.
"See if I try to help you anymore, Kurt Hummel!" Rachel said, stomping to the door, yanking it open, and flouncing down the hall.
"Rachel, wait! I don't want anyone to see – oh well, too late now." Kurt shrugged his shoulders and flopped down on his bed.
"Well, I see SHE'S perfected the dramatic storm-out," Trent commented.
"She's been working on it – it's better than it used to be."
Trent and Kurt finished their homework and got ready for bed. Luckily, they had similar ideas of when an appropriate bed time was, so when one went to bed, the other usually called it a night as well.
Kurt had just turned out his light and curled up into his preferred sleeping position when Trent called softly from the other side of the room. "Hey Kurt?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm glad you're not going back to McKinley. We like having you here. And you being here makes Blaine happy. He was sad too much before you got here. Now he's not. So it's a really good thing you're here."
"Thanks, Trent. It means a lot to me to know I'm appreciated. And I really like being here with you guys, too. Even if Blaine wasn't here, I'd choose to stay here."
"Awesome."
"'Night Trent."
"G'night, Kurt."
xXxXxXx
"Guys, this is really bad," Mercedes confided to her fellow Glee club members. "We need Kurt back. We only just barely won Regionals without him."
"We don't need him," said Rachel. "The Warblers had him, and they lost. So why do you think we need him?"
"Because the Warblers didn't have him on lead," Tina said. "We need to get him back and give him a solo, and then we'll be a shoo-in to place at Nationals."
"Agreed," said Artie. "Our usual male-female duet ballads just aren't going to be enough to cut it. I think we should do a standard group number with shared leads, find a song for Santana and Mercedes and their mad sexy vocals, and then get Kurt back and find him a song he can perform, and not just sing. We've got to pick up that stage and shake it right up, yo!"
"But where's my solo?" Rachel demanded.
"Maybe you don't need one this time around."
Rachel gasped and pointed a finger at Artie. "Blasphemy!" She was just about to get right up in Artie's face and tell him all the reasons he was wrong, and according to her, there were hundreds, when Finn broke in.
"Guys, guys, this is all mute."
"Don't you mean moot?" Quinn corrected him.
"Yeah, moot. It's all moot 'cause Kurt does. Not. Want. To. Come. Back," he said every word with emphasis.
"Do you blame him? All those boys in one place? He's probably tapping a fresh ass every night," said Santana.
"Santana, you know he's completely loyal to Blaine."
"Okay, fine. He's probably tapping BLAINE'S ass every night. If I were him I'd be doing the same thing, 'cause that hunk of man meat he's captured is FINE."
"Santana!" Finn yelled, covering his ears. "Hello, brother, don't wanna hear it."
"Why don't you talk to him, Finn? He's your family. Can't you pressure him or something?" Sam asked.
The entire group laughed. It was easy to tell Sam was still the newest member of the club. "I'm sorry, have you MET Kurt Hummel?" Mercedes asked. "The boy does NOT bow to pressure."
"I think this is going to have to be a group effort," said Finn. "I think we should all go talk to him together."
"Well, you're certainly not going to want to go visit him at school," Rachel said sourly. "I just about got my head bitten off just by showing up at his dorm room. Some nonsense about girls not being allowed in the dorms or something."
"I've got an idea. The Warblers have a gig at the Westerville Mall this Saturday. I heard Kurt talking about it the other day. We should all go and catch him after the performance." A chorus of okays came from everyone but Rachel.
"I'm not going. I've already tried, and he wouldn't listen to me."
"Awww, Berry's all pissed because someone finally had the balls to tell her no," snarked Santana. "It's about damn time."
"Shush, Santana," said Finn. "We need to all do this together. Rachel, that includes you. I'll pick you up on Saturday morning, okay?"
Rachel nodded reluctantly, and the last few minutes of their impromptu Glee club strategy meeting were spent making car pool plans.
Operation Get Kurt Back was a go.
xXxXxXx
The New Directions arrived at Westerville Mall about halfway through the Warblers' set. They were surprised to note that Kurt had been heavily featured in the little bit of the show so far that they had seen.
They had just finished up Animal, featuring Blaine and Kurt, and then the mood changed and Kurt began to sing Blackbird. Tina couldn't help but notice that Kurt was singing it right to Blaine, and Blaine was singing right back to him.
She poked Mike in the side. "Look at them," she whispered. "He's got such big heart eyes for Kurt. And let's face it, Kurt NEVER sang this well when he was with us."
Mike had to agree. "Being with the Warblers seems to bring out the best in him."
Tina looked meaningfully at Mike, and knowing exactly what she was thinking, he nodded.
"Hey guys?" The rest of the New Directions turned their heads to look at her. "Look at him. He looks so happy to be there. I don't think we should bother him."
Quinn nodded. "He sounds phenomenal. Even better than he did when he was with us. Love and happiness suits him."
"You two are absolutely correct. He's improved since he was with us," said Rachel. "Which means he will be an even bigger asset to us when he comes back. He hasn't even sharped once!"
Several of the New Directions members looked confused. "He never sharped before…" Artie said.
"Well, I'm not surprised you didn't ever hear it. My hearing is apparently far superior to all of yours," Rachel said conceitedly.
The others just shook their heads and ignored her.
"Guys, we need him back," Finn said. "He's our ticket to winning Nationals, I promise you."
The Warblers ended their set with a highly energetic rendition of Raise Your Glass, and they were met with a standing ovation from the mall shoppers who had been mesmerized by their performance. The boys high fived, butt smacked, and hugged each other before bowing and trotting offstage, chattering animatedly among themselves. Kurt was the center of attention, being congratulated on such a successful first gig outside of competition with the Warblers. He beamed, clearly eating up the praise.
"I'm telling you," Tina tried again. "We need to leave him alone. He's never going to be this happy back at McKinley." Nobody but Mike heard her, though – the others were all hurrying to intercept Kurt before he could board the bus back to Dalton with the Warblers. Sam had started to follow them, but something caused him to hold back.
"You know, I'm with you guys. I don't know him all that well, so I feel like I can look at this a little more objectively, and the look on his face is the look of a guy who is having the time of his life. I don't think I feel good about hauling him back to McKinley with us."
"Thanks Sam," said Tina. "We're just going to head out. They won't listen to us, so we don't want to be associated with what they're trying to do. Come on – we'll give you a ride home."
Mike, Sam, and Tina left the mall. Meanwhile, the Warblers had just reached their bus and were about to pile into it when a voice called out. "Kurt, wait!"
Kurt spun around to find that most of the New Directions had followed them to the parking lot. "What are you guys doing here?"
"We've come to offer you a ride to McKinley!" Rachel said. "We've organized a Saturday Glee club meeting to start catching you up for Nationals!"
"You've what? Are you delusional? What part of I'm not leaving Dalton are you people not understanding?"
"But Kurtie, don't you want to come to New York with us?" asked Brittany sadly.
"Well yeah, but not if it means if I have to leave the Warblers and Dalton."
"But you could WIN NATIONALS with us! Wouldn't that be amazing?" Rachel enthused.
"Listen, the Warblers may not be competing at Nationals, but there's always next year."
"Dude, these guys have got to be brainwashing you or something. Our Kurt would never pass up a trip to his dream city," said Finn.
"We are NOT brainwashing him!" Thad said vehemently.
"Have you ever thought that maybe he doesn't WANT to go back? That maybe he likes us better simply because we're not as PUSHY as you guys?" Flint added.
The members of the New Directions all started talking at once. Some of them took offense to being called pushy, while others were still trying to work out in their minds WHY Kurt wouldn't want to come back with them. They were all so obsessed and focused on themselves that they failed to notice that Kurt's face was turning red and his hands were starting to clench.
Finally, Kurt had had enough. "Guys, you are all my friends, but you have to stop with this harassment. You're making me uncomfortable, and frankly, it hurts that you don't think I'm capable of making my own decisions. It wasn't easy, you know. Not at all. I know you all think I'm only sticking around for Blaine, but honestly, I have SO many reasons to stay at Dalton. Blaine's the cherry on top, sure, but Dalton's a prestigious school – it will look amazing on my transcript and will help me get into a good college. The classes are far more difficult and college recruiters know it – making good grades here looks really impressive. At Dalton, graduating with honors means something. At McKinley, it just means you can count your toes by the time you graduate. I won't even get into what the zero tolerance bullying policy means to me. I can finally go to school without feeling sick to my stomach, without looking over my shoulder, without cowering in a corner. I can walk the hallways with my head held high. And it doesn't really even matter whether or not Karofsky has reformed – I just can't convince myself to BE myself if he's still there."
Kurt was so worked up that he was choking up and trying not to cry. "I just – I just can't do this anymore. I really can't. You guys are being so selfish that you are failing to realize that I am fucking HAPPY. Really, really happy. When was the last time you've seen me this happy? Think about it – HAVE you? No. You haven't. Dalton is the place for me. NOT McKinley. And if you can't realize that and stop BUGGING me about it, I can't be your friend anymore."
"But – " Rachel started, but Kurt had turned on his heels and rushed onto the bus before she could continue her protest. Blaine shot a quick glare at the group before following his boyfriend on board.
Kurt was sitting by himself in a seat about halfway back on the opposite side of the bus from where the New Directions were standing. Blaine slid into the seat in front of him and sat on his knees facing Kurt with his chin resting on his arms along the seat back.
"They're looking pretty stunned out there," he said casually.
"Well, I don't think I've really told them off before. I mean, I snapped at Mr. Schuester once in the name of Britney Spears, and I kinda told them to fuck off and let me handle my dad's heart attack my own way without their religion crapping all over it, in not so many words, of course, but I don't think I've ever truly ranted at them like this before."
"Maybe it was time," Blaine said, a thoughtful look on his face.
At that moment, their fellow Warblers loaded onto the bus. "We thought we'd give you guys a minute before we all joined you."
"Appreciated, guys, but unnecessary. It's not you guys I'm upset with."
"Oh, we know, but we know Blainers here always makes you feel better, so we wanted him to have some time to work his magic."
Blaine preened. "Damn right I'm magical. I'm SO magical I cheered him up without even having to bring in the big guns."
"I've seen your big guns," Kurt quipped. "And those are pretty magical, too," he said seductively.
"All right, men. No activities unbecoming a Warbler or the Dalton uniform on the bus, please," ordered Wes.
"Party pooper," Blaine grumbled. He plopped himself down next to Kurt and buried his face in Kurt's shoulder, pouting complete with frowny face. "Always ruining my fun," he said, or so Kurt thought – his shoulder kind of garbled Blaine's speech.
Wes stopped at Kurt's seat on the way to his own seat in the back of the bus. "For the record, Kurt, we are glad to have you here. You have an amazing talent, and you are a good friend to us all. Dalton is fortunate to have you."
"Thanks, Wes, that means a lot." Wes nodded and continued on to his spot.
The rest of the Warblers loaded onto the bus, echoing Wes' sentiments. Some of them offered hugs as well, which Kurt accepted with some difficulty; he had had to peel Blaine off of him to stand up to hug his friends, and with Blaine being the clingy koala he was, it was no small task.
Finally, the last Warbler sat and the bus headed back to school. Blaine was still cuddled up into Kurt's side.
"They may have loved you first, but we love you best."
xXxXxXx
Several days later, after the "Great Kurt Custody Battle of 2011," as Nick and Jeff had dubbed it, Wes strolled into Warblers rehearsal with his gavel in one hand and a gaudily decorated box in the other. It reeked of familiarity to Kurt, but he couldn't figure out why.
"Warbler Kurt, this was just dropped off in the front office, addressed to 'Kurt and the Warblers.' I thought I'd let you open it, as I am kind of frightened by this garish display," said Wes.
"Honestly, so am I," Kurt said, reaching out for the box. He tentatively undid the ribbon tied around the center and lifted the lid.
Inside, nestled into food-safe tissue, were cookie cut-outs spelling out the words "WE'RE SORRY." Well, technically they said WERE SORRY, but Kurt understood the sentiment. Underneath was a hand-signed note from all the members of the New Directions, and underneath THAT were some extra cookies to feed additional Warblers beyond the nine that the letters would cover.
"Hey, that's really cool!" Blaine said, looking over Kurt's shoulder. "That was sweet of them to send these over."
"Don't get too excited. If Rachel made them, and she's the only Glee clubber with letter cookie cutters, they are vegan, with vegan frosting and vegan sprinkles, and they're going to make you want to go to the wood shop and eat wood shavings off the floor, 'cause her cookies have all the properties of sawdust without any of the flavor."
The Warblers, who had been closing in gradually on the box, suddenly backed off.
"What the Hell, hand me one, Kurt," Jeff said, holding out his hand. "I'll give it a try." He didn't even take the cookie fully into his mouth before he was spitting it out. "Damn, Kurt, your description of these things was too generous. This is kind of a backhanded apology."
"Believe it or not, this is Rachel Berry actually TRYING to be contrite."
Blaine walked around the couch and sat down next to Kurt, resting his arm on Kurt's shoulders. "I think it was really nice of them. They're trying, anyway."
"Yeah. Hopefully they've finally realized that they can't have me. Once a Warbler, always a Warbler, right?"
"Right," Blaine said with a grin.
xXxXxXx
Original prompt:
AU: In BTW Karofsky is under control and the bully whips has cut down on bullying.
ND tells Kurt (can be as a group or only one person can do it) and start talking about how great it will be to have him back at Mckinly.
Kurt says he won't be coming back.
Cue the anger and confusion. Accusations fly about Kurt abandoning them and lots of yelling about how it's better now.
But it's during a public confrontation (maybe they go to a warbler show because kurt was 'ignoring them') the warblers try to stop them from starting again and they start saying the warblers have Kurt brainwashed.
Kurt snaps. He rails at them and bascically let's them know exactly why he won't be coming back. (I.e. the bullying, the feeling of unsafty, the way teachers don't see to see bullying and some even are openly homophobic to him) and then spits out the reasons he loves dalton OTHER then warblers and blaine (i.e more challanging classes, guys his own age who accepted him with no awkwardness at all, more venues to good schools, scholarships he can and has applied for next year) at the end the ND are shell shocked and kurt is close to tears as he quietly says that he's not leaving Dalton and that if they don't stop badgering him then they are no longer his friends. With that the warblers (who have surrounded kurt during his rant and said nothing, deciding to let him vent) usher Kurt back onto the bus and fuss over him.