Why I Smile
By
Nicole
Summary: Their lives have always been private, secretive since they first met because they felt safer that way. Can their secret stay a secret forever? What happens when it comes out?
Pretending what Is
Chapter 1: A Wife's fear
Jennifer Jareau aka JJ was in the kitchen with her mother, Sandra, and her daughter, Isabelle, sitting in a high chair. "Open up, sweetheart, you like your peaches," she cooed to the baby who leaned forward with her mouth wide open, "That's a good girl." The baby wrinkled her nose with a grin on her face, making her mother laugh as she slapped her hands on the tray.
"And where is my lovely son-in-law this morning?" Sandra asked.
"His beeper went off at about 5 o'clock this morning he just threw on his clothes and took off," JJ replied.
Sandra frowned and JJ know that look. "Mom, not today, please?" she asked.
"I don't understand why you would want to join in him in such a dangerous profession," Sandra answered, "Your daughter needs both of her parents."
"We want to help people and try to make this world a little safer for our daughter to grow up in," JJ insisted.
Isabelle spit, making her mother laugh a little. "Thank you, that's what I want, your breakfast in my face," she quipped. Isabelle shrieked and clapped her hands together, making her mother smile. She leaned forward, kissing her daughter's forehead.
As she was getting the baby dressed for the day, the nine-month-old was giggling up a storm as her mommy was making faces at her. She leaned forward and blew raspberries on the baby's stomach who shrieked and kicked her feet excitedly. Sitting back up, JJ smiled as she helped her daughter stand up. "You look so pretty, yes you do," she cooed when her cell phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, she flipped it open. "Hey, you doing okay?" she asked.
"Yeah, was checking on you," her husband of three years replied.
"We're good, just helping her stand up," she answered.
"The more you hold her up on her feet and show her how to walk she'll learn on her own," her husband commented.
"Hopefully you don't miss it," she answered, "Her legs are getting stronger with each little practice step."
"I should be home in another day or so," he told her.
She held onto Isabelle's hands as her daughter was trying to balance. "How's it going in Boston?" she asked.
"We are going through the profile as we speak, Gideon said it shouldn't be long before he makes a mistake," he replied.
"He's been too articulate to make a mistake now," JJ commented.
"He wants a show, that's what we know," he replied.
"So you think he's going to make a mistake on purpose," she commented.
"Yep," he replied.
"I miss you," she said softly.
"I miss you," he answered.
"We both love you," She told him.
"I love you both," he answered.
She heard a door open in the background. "Gotta go," he told her before hanging up. JJ hung up her cell phone and looked at her daughter who stared at her with her daddy's big, brown eyes.
"Daddy will be home soon," she assured her.
The next day, JJ was in the kitchen making scrambled eggs for her daughter while the news was on. The baby was sucking on a pacifier as she watched the television screen. The pacifier suddenly fell out of her mouth. "Dada!" she shrieked, pointing at the screen.
"Daddy's on TV?" she asked smiling.
She walked in with the plate of food, placing it on her daughter's tray when she looked at the television screen. She saw her husband, Dr. Spencer Reid, standing beside Agent Aaron Hotchner as they were waiting outside a warehouse.
"For those who are just tuning in, the Boston Bomber has been cornered in a warehouse downtown with his newest kidnap victim. As of right now FBI Agent, Jason Gideon, is negotiating the hostage's release," the reporter said on the screen.
JJ watched as the reporters watched the agents by the warehouse, waiting for the word. "Dada! Dada!" Isabelle said excitedly.
"Yep, there he is, sweetheart," she said smiling.
She watched as the man walked out of the warehouse with his hands raised. Hotch shoved the man to the ground and Spencer handed him his handcuffs.
As the baby was eating, JJ was happy to know that it was another successful capture. As she got her daughter to eat another piece of egg, she heard a large explosion on the television and she swung around in her chair to see that the entire building had blown apart. "Oh my God…" she said with wide eyes, "Mom!" Her mother walked into the kitchen. "Can you keep feeding Isabelle?" she asked.
"What's going on?" Sandra asked, taking her daughter's place.
JJ turned the television away from her daughter's eyes and stood in the kitchen with the cordless. "You have reached the number of Dr. Spencer Reid, I'm unable to get to my phone right now please leave a message," his voicemail played.
"Spence, I just saw what happened, you need to pick up," she said into the voicemail.
(Boston)
Spencer was lying on the ground, his ears were ringing like crazy and his head was pounding. "Reid! Reid talk to me!" Hotch called over the roar of the fire, "REID!" Spencer opened his eyes to see his boss standing over him. "Reid! Can you hear me?!" he called out as the young agent's hearing started to clear.
"My head," Spencer muttered, holding his head.
Hotch pressed his hand to the young man's head when he saw some blood coming from the side of his head. "MEDIC!" he shouted when he looked over to see Gideon desperately trying to resuscitate one of their long-dead agents. A medic ran over to the two of them.
"What is your name?" he asked as he flashed a penlight in Spencer's eyes for a sign of a concussion.
"Dr. Spencer Reid," Spencer replied.
"What day is it?" the paramedic asked.
Spencer reached into his pocket to get his cell phone when he saw that the force of the blast that knocked him ten feet across the parking lot had shattered it. "Spencer, what is the date?" he repeated.
"September 8th, 2005," Spencer replied finally, "I need to call my wife, she probably heard if not saw this."
Spencer winced as the medic pressed his hand to his head. "You're going to need stitches," the medic answered.
"I need to call my wife," Spencer repeated, "I need to talk to her."
"You can call her from the hospital," the medic answered as they got him on a gurney, "No signs of concussion, a skull fracture, and a possible fractured wrist."
The loaded him into the truck as Spencer watched as Hotch had to drag Gideon away from the dead bodies of their colleagues and friends. "Don't fall asleep, Spencer. Talk to us, what's your wife's name?" the medic asked.
"Jennifer," Spencer replied.
"You have any kids?" a second medic asked as she tried to place Spencer's arm in a makeshift cast until they reached the hospital.
"I have a daughter, she's nine-months-old," Spencer replied.
"You'll get home to your kids, Spencer. You're going to be just fine," a medic reassured him.
He saw the blood on his clothes as well as holes in his shirt sleeves and pant legs. "You're a lucky kid," the medic told him.
Reaching the hospital, Spencer's wrist was in a small cast since it was a hairline fracture from the fall. He had four stitches along the hairline of the right side of his head, and bandages covering his elbows and knees from scraping them on the concrete. His entire body ached from the impact, but good news was he didn't have a concussion. He was sitting up in the hospital bed with a phone in his hand. "Spence?" he heard his wife ask on the second ring.
"It's me," he answered.
"Thank God, what happened? Are you okay?" she asked.
"A few bumps and bruises, but I'm okay," he replied.
He heard her sigh in relief. "We lost six of our own," he murmured.
"Oh Spence…" she said softly.
"Gideon's a wreck, Hotch is taking charge right now," he replied.
He started messing with the new pants that Hotch brought over from the hotel for him. "We're coming home," he said softly.
"I'll be there," she answered, "I love you."
"I love you too," he murmured before hanging up.
That night, they arrived home and JJ was waiting in their little car for him. Hotch was leading a silent Gideon to a car.
JJ got out of the car once everyone was driving off. Spencer walked over to his wife as she opened her arms for him wrapping them around him without hurting him. He happily hugged her back, resting his forehead against her shoulder. JJ was keeping herself under control, but tears were welling up in her eyes. "You scared me," she whispered.
"That scared the hell out of me," he answered, "I just want to go home."
She nodded as she rubbed his back and they walked to their car. Getting in, she started it up and drove them both home.
When they arrived home, Spencer walked over to his daughter who was standing up in her playpen. "Hey there, sweetheart," he murmured.
"Dada!" the little girl said excitedly.
Picking her up, he kissed her cheek as he held her close. "Dada missed you," he whispered. JJ walked over and he held both of his wife and daughter close, a lump in his throat. "I missed you both," he said softly as he held them to him. JJ hugged them close to her, resting her head on his shoulder. "And I love you both more than anything in this world," he said, his voice shaking as he spoke. Pulling back a little, she stroked his cheek.
"And we love you just as much," she answered before kissing him lightly.
Spencer kissed her back as they stood in their living room in silence, holding each other and their daughter close while Sandra just left the small family of three alone.