The JawsOTH Chronicles -
"RUM!" says Haley, taking off her clothes and getting into the bathtub.
"RUM! IN THE SALT WATER!" Nathan said, joining Haley in their salt water bathtub.
"I love rum!" they scream at the same time.
"RUM!" Jaws says.
"YES, RUM!" exclaim Nathan and Haley together, and start to make out and have sex like the stoopid little cheesy couple they are.
A few minutes Haley realizes that neither she nor Nathan had said "RUM!". "Who said that?" she asked.
"RUM!" Jaws said it again.
"What?" Nathan and Haley ask.
"IT'S ME!" says Jaws, and appears in front of Haley in the salt water bath tub. "AND YOU STOLE MY RUM!" Jaws then continued to eat Haley in one bite. He turned to Nathan. "You picked a good wife, she tastes better than RUM! But she's mine now, mwuahahahah!" And with that, Jaws swam away.
"Oh NO! Haley is gone! I need a new wife... Karen? Ewwwz. Brooke? Ewwwz. Rachel? Ewwwz. Peyton? Maybe... Deb? OOH! YAY! She could work. Uh, I mean, OH NO! I must save Haley!"
Nathan tried to think about what to do. He really did try to think about Haley, but his thoughts kept wandering to three things... Peyton, Deb, and his favorite movie- The Wizard of Oz.
"WIZARD OF OZ." said the bathtub.
"What? Bathtubs don't speak," Nathan thought. "HOT TUBS do! But this is a bathtub."
"WIZARD OF OZ," it said again.
"Well this is no ordinary bathtub," Nathan said out loud. "It's a SALT WATER bathtub! Wait... no... it can't be... NO!" he screamed.
Nathan went pale, looking like he had just seen Dan naked. "NOOOOO! My saltwater bathtub is... DEMONIC!"
Nathan sat in tears, crying about his demonic salt water bathtub. "I need some RUM," he cried.
Then, Nathan had an idea. "I KNOW!" he said, remembering what Dorothy, the Tinman, the Cowardly Lion, and the Brainless Scarecrow did when they were in trouble. "I SHALL GO SEE THE WIZARD!"
Nathan got out, got dressed, and started skipping around Tree Hill with a blue and white checkered dress on. And of course he didn't forget his ruby red slippers. "I'm off to see The Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz!"
Nathan stopped when he saw Lucas. "Lukie! What are you doing?" he asked.
Lucas was crying. "I lost my heart! It's broken because of HCM. And now it's dead. What do I do?"
"Lucas! You can come with me. I lost my family. Haley was eaten by Jaws. And you lost your heart. In The Wizard of Oz, Dorothy lost her family, and the Tinman didn't have a heart. We're just like them!"
"Well, we're off to see The Wizard!" said Lucas, cheering up and putting on his tinfoil suit.
They skip off together, holding hands and singing "We're off to see The Wizard!" the whole way.
"AHH!" they hear someone scream.
"WHO IS IT? Is it Jaws? I'm going to spork you!" Nathan says.
"No, no. It's me. It's Peyton," she says.
"Oh. Well what's wrong?" Lucas asks.
"I... I... I'm too afraid to do my crack!" Peyton finally spit out.
"Aw, I'm sorry Peyton," Nathan says.
"Wow. That sucks. Want me to call Jake?" Lucas said.
"No. I'm just a huge coward!" Peyton cried.
"WAIT! I have an idea!" Nathan said, his eyes lighting up.
"What is it!" Peyton asked
"Well, Jaws ate Haley, and Lucas' heart died, so now we must go to Oz and go ask the Wizard for help! So you can come too, since you are a coward, and you can be the Cowardly Lion! You have to come in costume, though," Nathan said, motioning to his red slippers and Lucas' tinfoil suit.
"YAY! You're a genius, Nathan! I don't need a costume though, my cokebird hair can be my lion's mane!" Peyton said, suddenly happy again.
So the happy threesome skipped once again throughout Tree Hill, on their way to see the Wizard of Oz.
Once they reached the outskirts of Tree Hill, they came upon a girl who seemed to be upset.
"Everyone must be having a depressing Peyton kinda day," Lucas stated.
"What's wrong?" Peyton asked the girl. When the girl picked her head up, they all realized it was Brooke!
"What's wrong?" Nathan asked impatiently.
"The man I love doesn't love me back," she sighed.
Lucas looked alarmed. "What? I DO love you back, Brooke."
"What? I thought I loved Dan," she said.
"Last night you told me you loved me!" Lucas said.
"I do! Wait... this morning Fat-pre-surgery-Rachel sat on my head! And now I don't have a brain!"
"THIS IS PERFECT!" Nathan said. "You can be the Scarecrow with no brain, and we can all go to Oz together as Dorothy, the Tinman, the Cowardly Lion, and the Scarecrow with no brain!"
"YAY!" they all shouted together. The then linked arms and took off skipping down the Yellow Brick Road, drinking RUM.
Once they got to the town square, they looked all around for the munchkins.
"Where are they!" Nathan cried. "The lollipop kids are my favorite part of the movie!"
Just then he noticed a little munchkin arm laying on the Yellow Brick Road. He also noticed a tiny nose, some eyes...
"WAIT A MINUTE!" he yelled. "This is a tragedy! The munchkins have been eaten! By... JAWS!" Nathan began to cry. Those poor poor munchkins. Gone. Just like Haley. His world was over. He would miss those little munchkins.
"Nathan!" Peyton screamed. "if this is really like the Wizard of Oz, I have something that can make you happy! Follow me!"
Nathan could've kissed Peyton. He just wanted to feel happy again. The four friends walked and walked for hours and hours. Finally Nathan spotted a colorful spot in the road up ahead.
"What's that! It's so pretty," he said.
"This is what will make you happy again! It's all these pretty flowers. They smell good too!" Peyton answered.
"They make me feel all warm inside," Nathan stated.
"Let's rest here," Lucas suggested.
Everyone laid down, sniffed the flowers, and passed out. Once they awoke, they continued their journey to find the Wizard. After a few more hours of walking, they finally reached the gates.
"We're here!" they all shouted. They were let in, and showed the the room in which the Wizard was resting.
"Hello, my name is Mark. You can call me... Schwahnny," the Wizard said.
"Hello Schwahnny," they all said.
"What has brought you to Oz?" Schwahnny asked, sipping vodka from the bottle.
"Well, first, drink this. It's much better," Nathan said, handing him some RUM!
"Yay! RUM!" the Wizard exclaimed. "Ok, you go first." The Wizard pointed to Lucas, waiting to hear his problem.
"I have a heart disease, HCM. My heart is broken! And I need to fix it."
"I see," the Wizard said, thinking about this problem. "Well, if you find true love, the love you have in your broken heart shall be mended! Now go out and find someone to love. You're turn," he said, pointing to Brooke.
"I have no brain! And the man I don't love but think I do doesn't love me," she cried.
"Ah," said Schwahnny as he drank his RUM. "Well, go out and find a smart boy, one who loves to read, and he shall share his brain with you!"
With this news, Lucas realized that his love for Brooke could mend his heart, and Brooke realized she loved Lucas, and he was definitely pretty smart. Once they declared their love for each other, they started making out.
"SEE! I have solved all problems!" exclaimed the Wizard. "Now go make a hott love child!"
And that's what they did. The Wizard had given great advice, once again.
"Peyton, tell the Wizard your problem," urged Nathan.
Peyton started to tell the Wizard her problem. "I'm a coward!" she screamed. "I'm too afraid to do my drugs!"
The Wizard stared at her, and told her what she obviously had not noticed. "You just got high. In the opium poppies. You're already cured."
"REALLY? YAY!" Peyton said, truly happy for once.
"Now Nathan, what's wrong?" the Wizard asked.
"JAWS ATE HALEY! She's my wife. How do I bring her back?" Nathan asked.
"Well, you can't. Jaws is powerful. Once he eats someone, they're gone for good. Can't help you, sorry," the Wizard answered.
"Ok. So Haley is gone, but that's ok. But what about the poor munchkins!" Nathan cried.
"It's ok, Nathan. Calm down," Peyton comforted.
Nathan tried to stop crying.
"In order to get over Haley, you gotta get under Peyton," the Wizard said.
"What?" he asked.
"Go. Go marry Peyton. You guys are truly in love, and all you have to do is acknowledge it by getting married."
They both shrugged. "That sounds like a good idea to me!" Peyton said.
"Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer, will you marry me?"
"OF COURSE!"
2 days later, the marriage had been finalized, and the wedding had been awesome. Nathan had forgiven Jaws, because he got rid of Haley and enabled him to marry Peyton. Because of this, Jaws had been the best man in the wedding. And Nathan eventually forgot about those poor munchkins, because Brooke and Lucas' 323 hott love children had made up for them. And the two couples, Brucas and Pathan, lived happily ever after in a RUM factory forever and ever and ever.
THE END!
Author's Note: First of all, thanks for reading! passes out rum to all of the dedicated readers Second, a sequel to this story is being written by THE Superior! We're still figuring out some of the details, but the main plot line is all worked out. Those who have heard the ideas so far say it will be awesome! Once everything is finalized, it should only be a couple of days before the sequel is posted. So be on the lookout for the sequel, posted by THESuperiorxiii! And remember: Never doubt the BRUCAS love, never doubt the PATHAN love, and RUM is good!
THESuperiorsAssistant