One shot time! Gugh, I was stuck at school and thus this random short shot is born. So, yeah, this is my first time writing DxC in a while, due to much annoyance from this couple. So, prepare for some crappiness. Pretty much dialogue only because I'm lazy, tired, and did not look forward to work later. What the latter has to do with anything, I don't know. Shmeh
"What the hell!"
"Oops, sorry sweetheart. Forgot."
"Duncan, I told you not to pour that!"
"Yeah, well it was cool looking and made an awesome fizzing noise. No big loss."
"No big loss? Now we have to start the lab all over again! Ugh, why are you even in University level Chemistry, you're the last person I'd expect to be in this class."
"Yeah, well you should expect the unexpected."
"What. The. Hell? If everyone expected the unexpected, nothing would be unexpected, EVER, because everyone would expect it! That whole statement is a huge contradiction!"
"Whoa, jeez, no need to get your panties in a twist-"
"That's also impossible!"
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!"
"How dare you speak to me like that? I shall not be spoken to in such a savage manner! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"
"Uh, babe, I don't kiss my mother at all. Badasses have no time for sissy cookie-baking moms. Anyway, my Ma's a cop, and it would be pretty messed up for a season criminal such as myself to kiss a cop."
"Your mother's a cop?"
"Yeah, along with everyone else in my family."
"I find that hard to believe, considering you're like, the most evil, vile, person I know."
"Gee, thanks."
"No problem."
"Yeah, well... You're like, the most prissy, bitchy person I know, so there."
"I am NOT a bitch!"
"Oh, of course not. How goes that black mail scheme against Gwen to get her to vote for you, by the way?"
"That's different..."
"Oh yeah, and Heather losing all her hair after telling you off in the middle of the cafeteria last week was just a coincidence."
"...I-"
"And how about Lindsay getting fined for wearing a, quote un-quote, "Prostitute's uniform" last month-"
"Stop..."
"-and did Beth ever return from that crack house you sent her to after she spilled her soda all down your blouse? Despite what everyone told you, we still could see your bra..."
"S-stop!"
"Purple. Lacey. Nice. 36D, I'm assuming?"
Slap.
"Ow!"
"I TOLD YOU TO STOP! I get it alright? I get it. Everyone hates m-me..."
"Holy shit... A-are you crying?"
"N-no!"
"Holy shit, you are!"
"Leave me alone!"
"You? Crying? Now that is impossible."
"...Duncan, please, j-just leave me alone."
"Uh, no, I don't think I will."
"W-why not? I'd be way happier if you'd just stop ruining my life! Just me, myself, and I in solitude is all I ask of you!"
"I won't leave you alone because no one deserves to be alone. Y'know, Princess, there's a difference between solitude and loneliness. Solitude is just a pseudo-word for a strong mask that prevents one from seeing the true sorrow that you feel when you are alone."
"Duncan, I..."
"I don't want you to be alone."
"...That sounds slightly stalkerish, should I be taking out a restraining order?"
"One; that was an empty threat, 'cause I know you're totally hot for me. And two; there's the Courtney I know and love."
"L-love?"
"Maybe."
"Well, if you love me, why don't you ever listen to me!"
"I said maybe. And no one could ever stand listening to you for more than half a minute."
"You can."
"Yeah, because I'm fucking awesome."
"Duncan: the epitome of egotistic..."
"With an ego as great as mine, how can you resist being egotistic?"
"Easily."
"How so, Princess?"
"Modesty."
"That...sounds like self-help bullshit."
"Ugh, whatever. This is pointless, we should be doing the lab."
"Yeah, but I'm way more interested in doing something else..."
Slap.
"Ow! Okay, yeah, I deserved that one..."
"You sure did."
Yeah, the ending sucks, I know, but whatever. I don't give a damn, instructional videos do damaging things to your brain. GUGH! And hehe, enjoy my little Glee reference? Courtney and Rachel are so much alike, it's scary. Most of the Glee cast is like the TDI cast, now that you mention it. So yeah, review please!