She was plain confused.
Rachel isn't the type to easily fall in love. Yes, she had a fling with Noah Puckerman and a tumultuous relationship with Jesse St. James, but she'd been in love with the same guy for years: Finn Hudson. He was her Jerusalem. No matter what she did, it has always led to Finn, to making him fall for her and notice her, to establishing and maintaining a relationship with him. Even when they parted ways at that train station, she thought somehow they'd still end up together one way or another. She waited for months on end to hear from him, and when day after day she got only silence on his part, she still clung to that belief that they wouldn't be one of those long-distance relationships that crash and burn. But she was wrong, because they did burn, and pretty badly, too. They weren't as perfect and as solid as she believed. Nevertheless, even as she broke up with him, she still had hope that someday they'd get back together, that someday they would find their place in the world.
Until Brody Weston completely made her question her feelings and her sanity, that is. She'd known Brody for quite some time now; they'd been friends, and then they became something undefined when they finally kissed after he had confessed to liking her multiple times. However, Finn showed up and at that time, if it was a choice between Finn and Brody, she would have chosen Finn, which was what she did. But now that she and Finn are officially over and she'd had time to adjust to the fact that maybe this time they were over for real, slowly, she tried to move on. Moving on included focusing on NYADA and her new life, and with that came Brody. He was her first friend in New York, the first one to make her feel welcome, and she wanted that friendship especially during those times when she felt lonely and wished she could go back to more peaceful times that high school represented. She knew he liked her, and she realized in that one kiss she shared with him that there was potential there, but after years of romantic drama, she needed some time to pick herself up again. Brody respected her boundaries, but he wasn't the type to hide his affections. He was a great friend, but he also flirted with her, showered her with compliments and gifts, and just romanced her at times. Although it did feel good to have someone adore her that much, she tried to ignore his advances as much as possible. After all, Brody wasn't a hard person to like: he was attractive, charming, talented and nice. She knew that if she paid too much attention to his intentions, she might develop feelings she wouldn't be quite ready for. What she hadn't counted on was the fact that despite all her efforts to not notice Brody, her heart seemed to have a mind of its own. Despite telling herself repeatedly that she can't afford to love again at this point in her life, that she needed to focus on her future, her heart still sped up when she notices Brody looking at her intently. She would still feel excited when Brody touched her, even in the most innocent ways. She still felt butterflies in her stomach whenever Brody gave her flowers or quoted some cheesy line to her. She would still find herself smiling after a day out with him. Her mood still improved greatly when he calls her or visits her on her bad days. Despite trying to suppress her feelings, one day they just decided to break out like a broken dam of emotions inside her. The bad thing about it is, she knew she didn't just like Brody. She was certain she was starting to fall in love with him. In the process of preventing her feelings to develop, she had not noticed that she was falling in love slowly, and so when the epiphany came, it felt like she fell in love all at once.
What confuses her to no end, though, was why she fell for Brody even when she didn't want to. What was it with him that seemed to defy all her logic and reasoning? Yes, he was quite sweet on her, but she had matured; she is no longer the girl that fell for Jesse St. James' smooth talk. She is no longer easily swept off her feet just by a few charming words. So what made Brody different, to the point where all her efforts to not fall for him were reduced to ashes? What is it about him that made her heart feel safe and comfortable enough to try again?
If she was being true-to-form, she would have pursued and answer to that question endlessly. She would have stopped at nothing to get a solution to her conundrum. But it seems that another one of Brody's effects on her is making her forget about all her hesitations, her insecurities, and her doubts. That is why when he couldn't take it anymore and finally gave her this spiel about how he respected her boundaries and all but to be frank, he actually is in love with her and just needs one chance to prove himself to her, she says yes, she'd take a chance on him. That is also why years down the road, when he asks her to marry him in the grandest, most romantic way she could imagine, she would still say yes, a million times over.
/fin.
A/N: Just a short one-shot for all of you fellow Westberry shippers! I think I might have found my new OTP in Westberry. I thought, if I can't have Puckleberry, then I'd take this. And to be frank, I think Lea Michele and Dean Geyer just ooze chemistry in every scene. They're so squeal-my-heart-cute! But before I fangirl too much, I'd like to say thanks to all who took the time to read this. Love you all!
P.S The quote in the summary is basically from John Green's lovely book, The Fault in Our Stars.