Hey all, I'm proud of this piece so I hope you like it. It's going to be part of my application for college, so please review! Like the summary says it's a three-five piece so there will be more just give me time. I procrastinate horribly.

Enjoy the AxelxRoxasness and moreso the Axelness.

---------------------------------------------------------

A Song of Silent Burning

-told in three parts.

Demyx had warned him that Axel was untouchable. He was above everything, touching the world only with his wit and his fiery chakrams. You don't talk to Axel, you don't make friends with Axel, you don't care about Axel.

"Trust me, you'll get burned," he had warned with a voice that hinted of past experience.

And Demyx, though slightly unstable and carefree, was sincere in his concealed fear. So it wasn't that Roxas didn't believe him.

It was just that the older man was so intriguing. He could match wits and insults with anyone but he would only sit in corners sometimes, and watch all that was going on with unreadable eyes.

Roxas wanted to know what the upside-down triangle tattoos meant under his eyes. He wanted to know if they stood out from his skin, that if he ran his fingers over them he would feel tiny ridges. He knew he couldn't touch Axel. But he could imagine it.

Rumors surrounded him, the Order's fiery assassin, willing and able to carry out unspeakable and horrific things. Rumors said that he was stronger than the Superior, that he had been the Superior's favorite once, that Saix replaced him for reasons unknown. That he couldn't remember his past, that he chose to be this willingly, that he hunted for fun. For the one that called the most attention to himself, he was also the one that was known about the least. He did not acknowledge anything said and never sought to explain himself.

Zexion told him that they had got used to him. How when not in a fight he was silent, and watched, and they all came to ignore him eventually, and let him be on his own. Don't bother to waste your time thinking about him, Zexion has reprimanded him, he's not thinking about you.

But who knew what Axel was thinking about, with his silent ferocity and guarded eyes. He could be thinking more than any of them, contemplating existence and each of the Order and their missions constantly. How could anyone assume what he thought about when he didn't speak but harsh words? How could they say what he cared about?

Did Axel care about anything?... Was he the true type of Nobody that felt nothing, good nor bad, towards all he saw?

But Roxas knew that wasn't true, that Axel felt anger and hate and frustration. That much was very clear to Roxas when he watched him fighting, hidden in the allies, as Axel sought to eliminate his frustrations by tearing through the enemies around him. And Roxas would see his eyes flash with emotion and his mouth twisted into a snarl, and his movements, frantic frantic, not like when he was on a mission and calm, but twisting and writhing, faster and faster till he stopped, surrounded by blood and shadows, panting and limp, his eyes carrying defeat and disappointment. Looking like he lost a great deal, although entrenched by his enemies' corpses.

"Sometimes when it seems you win… you really lose," the red-head said, turning his intense green gaze to Roxas. "And sometimes it's not about the fight- it's about escaping it. And don't think so loud." Axel had turned and walked away, alone and weighted down.

Roxas wanted to know him. In every fiber of his being (or not being) he wanted to know him, be a part of him, be with him.

But Axel was untouchable.

So Roxas continued to spy and push his luck, watching Axel fight, watching Axel move, watching him watch others. And soon there were more rumors going around, still with the red-head at the center but now with an enthralled blue-eyed blonde involved as well. Neither seemed to notice.

As the time passed Roxas integrated himself more and more into Axel's patterns. He started to go out and fight with Axel, finding a kind of release in letting yourself go and mindlessly destroying. He would come out better than before but Axel would still seem less each time. He took to watching with Axel, sitting next to him and finding the patterns that his eyes moved in, and from that, learning information and secrets that others were careless in dropping, things that made Axel the master manipulator that he was. And the small comments Axel would sometimes say, whether they made sense to Roxas or not, encouraged him to start conversations, mostly talking to himself but sometimes getting a passing comment or the rare treat of being under that intense gaze when something Roxas said perked his attention.

And more time would pass.

Roxas would forget to be afraid of the 'uncaring killer', Axel would forget to be aloof, and both would talk in Axel's room, sometimes about their pasts and what they knew of them, sometimes the other members, and sometimes just what they thought or believed.

They had become a strange sort of friends without either knowing, both slipping into the thought process that the other had always been there, and always would be.

So when Axel was sent on missions Roxas didn't fear because he would come back. And when he did come back and ranted about the strength of the heart and keyblades and darkness before lapsing into an almost catatonic silence in his room, Roxas feared about the one he thought he knew, as he ignored Roxas and his worry and pleas for explanation. And when he wandered the halls of the castle and found himself at the Superior's door he felt as if he had been disillusioned this whole time and maybe they hadn't been close at all; so when the door opened and Xemnas himself beckoned him in he numbly stumbled forward, catching the smile on Xemnas's face when he closed the door, but not caring. And when Xemnas comforted him, telling him that his heart wasn't lost like theirs, that his heart was real and out there and alive, Roxas's insides latched on to that piece of information, deciding at that moment he had to find this Sora, had to; that Sora's presence would make him whole, make him real, and then maybe Axel would love him, someone whole and complete and bright and full of life, life that would fill Axel too, and the both of them could be complete and they wouldn't need keyblades or darkness or fighting, and they wouldn't hurt.

But what Roxas didn't expect was Axel to be so against the idea, flat out stating it was useless.

"But… don't you want me to be complete?... Maybe… maybe then…."

"You can never be complete."

Roxas froze, disbelief and pain filling his eyes. Axel merely rolled his, then stared at Roxas, that unreadable expression back in his eyes.

"None of us can be. We are what we are and we can't change that. So don't bother going. It will accomplish nothing good."

Roxas's eyes filled more and he clenched his fists, wanting to hit Axel, wanting to force him to understand that he had to, he had to!

"I will be complete," Roxas's voice soon lost the tremble that had been there and gained an edge to it. "I will be complete and whole and then I'll be strong and you won't have to fight, and I'll know how to help you and make you happy. I'll prove how good I am and you'll like me and want me like I do… because, I love you. And I will be complete."

Roxas was afraid to look up, afraid and unable to even fathom what Axel was feeling. He heard the soft sound of boots crossing the room, and then the utter shock of Axel's hand dropping on to his head, and lightly and ever so gently, ruffling the hair. Roxas's eyes rose in hope to see an open smile and unfeeling eyes. Axel's hand dropped.

"Stupid." His voice was flat and amused, the mocking tone reserved for others. "Stupid little boy. Love? You say you love? That weakness that humans have, that consuming useless fault? You love?" Axel laughed loud and mockingly. "The only reason you think you can lose is because your heart is still out there. Ours are gone. Mine is gone. You feel echoes of what Sora feels, nothing more. And we… I… feel nothing." Again he locked gazes and smiled. "Nothing at all."

"Liar." Roxas whispered heatedly, taking some demented pleasure in seeing Axel's look of surprise. "Liar. You can feel… I will show you you can. I will get my heart and come back and be the heart for both of us. You'll see."

Roxas moved forward swiftly and went to kiss Axel, confused for a moment when he found himself on the floor with his head ringing. Axel stared down at him, nothing in his face.

"No one can touch you, " Roxas muttered. "No one touches any part of you. But I know you can feel. I know you hurt. And I know your frantic intensity covers up your longing for more." Roxas stood, glaring at Axel. "And I will show you, and heal your pain."

"Stupid child! Let it go! It solves nothing! You know nothing! You think you're so clever, that you'll be complete, you know nothing!"

Roxas stared at the angry man, his gaze mimicking the blank one Axel had worn.

"You're shaking."

Axel stared at him.

"You're shaking because you're upset. So don't try to tell me you don't feel." Roxas turned around and walked to the door. "I'm going to find Sora. I'm going to be complete. And then I'll come back. Then you can tell me that I only feel echoes of love."

Roxas walked out, not seeing how Axel's head hung down and not hearing him say brokenly,

"I do feel… you will find him… you will be complete… but you won't come back to me."

Verse 1 – End.