Angela slid in the booth next to me at the Royal diner a smile play on her lips. She wore a smile similar to striped purple cat in the cartoon movie Alice In Wonderland.
"So, any new sparks between you and Booth?" her eyes were shining anticipating my answer.
"No."
"Come on Bren, nothing? You didn't even miss him a little?" She pushed trying to get me to tell her what she knew I truly felt for my partner. What we both knew I truly felt for him. I couldn't take anymore pushing today, my heart had, had enough. I could understand when a game of tug of war wasn't fun anymore. Having another tug at your heart, was not what I considered fun.
I turned to face Angela for a brief moment. My tone changed, it was light and airy I tried to keep a happy 'I don't care' front.
"Booth fell in love in Afghanistan."
"Oh, I'm sorry sweetie." She looked so sorry for me, like I was broken without him. I was fine. Her empathy was bugging me.
"It's fine, I'm happy for him." I said in the same airy voice, my front didn't seem to faze Angela. She knew me too well. She didn't say anything only nodded, unconvinced.
"Well I missed something while I was away…" and the conversation took a turn as we hugged celebrating good news. Angela always seemed to be some sort of light when everything became dark in my world. A star in the night or the sun rising lighting the darkness of early morning. I liked that about my friend. I should probably tell her these things, then again I should probably tell a lot of people a lot of things.
Booth and I sat at the Founding Fathers after a case. I told him love was just chemicals reacting and he defended his belief that it was so much more. I didn't have the courage to voice aloud his beliefs. Beliefs such as, love is transcendent, eternal and everything that I yearned for. But was too much of a coward to admit that I too not only believed in love, I was in love.
So, instead of voicing it, I wrapped up the word love in a neat rational and logical explanation as Booth listened to me. I knew he didn't really care what I said, only that I was speaking to him and him alone. We had nowhere to be after cases and it was our time, our unsaid endless time together.
It was where we just drank and just were. Where we always seemed to see the things we missed in our daily conversations. We smiled at one another on yet another night where the sun had set on us. When the sun went down seemed to be the time when most things took place that were, just ours.
Soon Hannah walked in and I watched as the person I was in love with walked out of the door with another. Watched as my fear of the four letter word stole what I loved most and left me sitting alone. I looked at my drink and swirled it around a bit as my mind wandered. At least I know Angela will be there for me in the morning.
Hannah had, had a feeling lately. She knew that Temperance was more than just a partner or had been more. She had to be for the looks lingered just a little too long and said just a little too much. Seeley wasn't the same Seeley as he had been in Afghan, understandably.
Although, she didn't expect him to gravitate so strongly toward the partner he spoke of when they were in Afghan. She felt as if she were keeping him from her or her from him. If anything, she felt her presence was more unwelcome than it was welcome. It was evident, if not obvious Temperance was sad Hannah was in her partner's life. Temperance had pulled away, and was in world of her own. Anyone could see that, couldn't they?
Danny is lonely 'cause Mary's in India now
She said she'd call but that was three weeks ago
She left all her things, well, her books and her letters from him
And as the sun rises on Mary, it sets on him
Seeley didn't know she was watching him, she had stopped when he saw he had. She had only meant to say goodbye to Temperance as well and thank her for helping her pick out the phone. Though, she saw her and him their eyes locked he quietly said 'see ya tomorrow, Bones' It was almost as if he didn't want to say goodbye.
He didn't want her to go. Hannah watched as Temperance shyly and sadly whispered back 'tomorrow Booth' then she opened the door inhaling and exhaling. What a sad scene to watch play out. She had just watched a woman's heart break before her and walk home alone down the hall to her car. Knowing she was the cause of it, the cause of Temperance's silent pain made Hannah feel even worse.
It was that moment that confirmed her suspicions that they had most likely once been more than just partners. Partners who had shared a deep connection with one another and she wondered what had went wrong?
And just dance and just drink and just see the things
I'll probably never get a chance to see
"Babe, do you want some of my Mac N Cheese? There is still a little bit left in the pot." Hannah
Booth looked to her oddly and Hannah noticed the odd look. "What is it Seeley? Is everything okay"
"It's nothing, I'm just not that hungry." Booth
She walked over and sat next to him. "Since when are you not hungry?" she said smiling wryly but her tease of a smile didn't provoke a smile from him.
He only got up yawning. "I'm tired I think I'm going to head to bed. It was a long day." He kissed her and left to their bedroom leaving her sitting on the couch a bit dumbfounded. She looked outside the window into the night's clear sky and unto the stars, hell maybe they held the answers.
Little did she know Temperance Brennan was doing the same thing? She was staring out her window up at the stars in wonder. Letting herself think irrationally like a child, like the innocent yesterdays she longed to have back. She lost them when she lost her parents. Booth had slowly started to loosen her up through the years. Letting the child in Brennan, come out to play every now and then.
Hannah returned to the couch knowing Booth wasn't fine. Brennan wondered if astrology had any credibility at all, then the wish she just made would come true.
Danny's not eating, he's drinking and sleeping in
I saw him last night at a party, he's definitely thin
He says he's happy, he looked pretty good but I think
That as the sun rises on Mary, it sets on him
She lay in the hospital bed, Temperance had saved her life. She knew deep down she had done it more for him than her and she was thankful. Though, as she watched when Temperance left and Seeley thanked her, watched the look linger a little too long and things being said. Words drifted through the air, and memories played like a slide show in their eyes. Hannah knew if they had ever loved each other, neither had moved on.
They couldn't they had too much history and Hannah knew that history couldn't be rewritten. Not that type of history. She would never have a history like that with him and never see the things "Bones" saw. She thought it almost funny that Temperance was a bit jealous of her for crossing that line with Seeley. For even if she didn't realize it, it was Temperance that had seen so much more of Seeley, more than she ever would.
And just dance and just drink and just see the things
I probably never get a chance to see
Hannah looked around Brennan's apartment as they were seated for the dinner she had prepared. Hannah wondered what had gone on in her apartment. In the past had she and Seeley ever crossed that line? One could only wonder but it was a valid thought. Only it seemed to be a taboo one as well. Her eyes settle on Brennan's refrigerator wondering if she needed any help in the kitchen. Little did she know how many memories a refrigerator could stir for her boyfriend.
Temperance and Seeley shared a lot. Temperance had seen a lot of things, been through a lot of things with him. As Hannah stare at the fridge she knew in that second, that millisecond that she would never be able to share with him what Temperance had. Was she jealous? No, she was genuinely sad for their host. For Hannah knew Temperance wasn't able to say what she felt and that was heartbreaking to her.
Danny came over last night and I cooked for him
We talked about you, Mary, and how much we loved you still
He told me he's packed up your books and your letters and things
She tossed and turned from nightmares tonight. Lauren's case had been hard on her and she didn't have Booth by her side like she normally did. His girlfriend her only reminder of how alone she really was in the world. She awoke in the middle of the night, lonely and cold. Now she waited in between the sunset and sunrise.
And as the sun sets on Mary, it's rising on him
Booth had gone to bed early again and Hannah sat her legs curled up underneath her on the couch. The television remote in hand she flipped through the channels settling on Criminal Minds. Though, her mind could only think of one thing tonight, Temperance. She couldn't keep on with Seeley knowing how in love she was with him.
He had told her tonight that she confessed her true feelings for him to him. He turned her down. Hannah knew if she wasn't in the picture that the scene would have played out different. The story would have had a happy ending. She felt as if she was only giving half of herself, she couldn't do this. What happened if he ever wanted to be anything more? She wouldn't be able to, not knowing what she did.
It was then she heard Temperance's voice in the back of her mind. "Hannah, are you serious about Booth?" she remembered she caught her off guard that day.
"Yes, of course."
"Good, because if you're not serious. You will hurt him. When Booth loves someone he gives his whole self." She smiled looking back now and knowing how concerned she was for him. It was concern out of love. Temperance couldn't stand to see him hurt, and she wanted him as well. Hannah knew she could never be more than they were.
Temperance was right, he gave his whole heart and deep down she knew one day Temperance would be able to as well. But until she found the courage to voice what she felt and he decided to acknowledge it. She would take care of Seeley for her, she couldn't promise her that she wouldn't hurt him. Though, she could promise her that she would return him to her, where he belonged. Hannah knew she was a catalyst and that sometimes a catalyst was a wonderful thing.
And we danced and we drank and I've seen some things
You probably never got a chance to see
Don't worry, Mary 'cause I'm taking care of Danny
And he's taking care of me
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