Hey everyone! Long time no see! I bet y'all thought I died...Nope, I'm still around...Re-assessing my fandoms and whatnot... This is a fictlet that I wrote in response to a challenge on the LJ Comm TF2007Fun regarding how January 1st is National Hangover Day. The challenge was to take one(or more) character(s) and have them wake up after drinking themselves stupid, and trying to remember the night before.
You know what this means, right?
I don't own, nor do I claim to own, Transformers, Optimus Prime, "Livin' La Vida Loca", Ironhide, Prowl, Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Ratchet, Sam Witwicky, Mikaela Banes, or Robert Epps. This story is not for profit, so don't try to sue me. I don't have anything of sue-able value anyways!
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[Okay…why am I staring at the ceiling? More importantly…why is the ceiling so familiar? Optimus wondered to himself. Sitting up, he realized he was in his quarters, which didn't make sense. The last place he remembered being was in the recreational area of the base…As he started to move off of the berth, a small note fluttering to the ground caught his attention. As he read it, he let out a low groan. There it was, in black and white…was the source of his demise…
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"Hey, check out Ironhide and Prowl…I think the twins must've slipped them some rum…or maybe they got into the vodka…" Denver Mackenzie, the base's "receptionist", stated with a small chuckle, before indicating the two 'bots, both of whom were using their holoforms. The pair were apparently bickering about one thing or another, before Bumblebee had rolled his eyes and selected something for them. A few seconds passed before a high-paced song began blaring out over the sound system, and a few people started dancing.
"She's
into superstitions black cats and voodoo dolls.
I feel a
premonition that girl's gonna make me fall.
She's into new
sensations new kicks in the candle light.
She's got a new
addiction for every day and night.
She'll make you take your
clothes off and go dancing in the rain.
She'll make you live her
crazy life but she'll take away your pain
like a bullet to your
brain. Come On!"
At this point, Ironhide showed everyone just how high he could jump, earning a few cheers, and a comment of "Nice Scissorkick, Hide!" from Sam. Most of the humans in attendance were in various stages of intoxication, ranging from barely(Sam, Mikaela and, surprisingly enough, Denver) to almost dangerously(Epps and a few of the other military personnel). A few of the humans had opted to abstain from consuming alcohol, due to being "Designated Drivers"…A measure that would prove to be a smart decision later.
"Upside, inside out she's livin la vida loca
She'll push and
pull you down, livin la vida loca
Her lips are devil red and her
skin's the color mocha
She will wear you out livin la vida loca
Come On!
Livin
la vida loca, Come on!
She's livin la vida loca.
Woke
up in New York City in a funky cheap hotel
She took my heart and
she took my money
she must've slipped me a sleeping pill
She
never drinks the water and makes you order French Champagne
Once
you've had a taste of her you'll never be the same
Yeah, she'll
make you go insane."
Denver let out a laugh at that point, only because Prowl had started trying to get her to dance with him. She was able to avoid his stumbling advances long enough for the song to go on without him, which provided Sunstreaker and Sideswipe with a bit of amusement.
He distinctly remembered heading over to the refreshment table to do a bit of socializing, and after that, everything else was an unintelligible blur. Optimus could recall bits and pieces, such as Ratchet trying in vain to pry something from his grasp, but not much else after the first cup of punch he had had.
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Eyeing the note one more time, just to make sure he was reading things right, the Autobot leader began to consider what a suitable way to deal with the twins would be. As he exited his quarters, the note drifted to the ground, spelling with unwavering certainty, the results of the spiked punch.
"Optimus, the next time you feel the need to sing Half Cocked's "Bad Reputation", please bear in mind that the original singer is female…and that you are better suited to delivering speeches…"
-Ratchet
"PS: Your voice is like chocolate for the ears!!!"
-Denver
"PPS: I think someone spiked the punch…which would explain your actions…and why Denver was all but molesting you while you sang…Which isn't an image I wanted to have burned into my retinas for a month…thanks…"
-Epps