Wasting All These Tears On You, a numb3rs fanfic

Wasting All These Tears On You

Disclaimer:
As always … I own nothing.

Rating:
T

Genre:
Romance/Angst

Pairing(s):
Charlie/Colby
Dwayne/Colby

Lyrics Used:
Cassadee Pope "Wasting All Thesee Tears On You"

You ain't worth another sleepless night | And, I'll do everything I gotta do to get you off my mind | 'Cause what you wanted, I couldn't give | What ya did, boy, I'll never forget

The rain had started pouring down - mingling with the tears streaming down his face - as Colby Granger stood on the street corner outside his apartment. He'd stuck his neck out on the line for a man that he'd loved - whom he'd once thought loved him in return. He couldn't believe how Dwayne had completely betrayed him. Colby never would have imagined the man that had not only saved his life but had also stolen his heart would ever even cheat on him - let alone with a Chinese spy, costing multiple innocent people their lives and almost landing Colby, himself, in jail. Before he knew it, a comfortingly familiar voice broke him out of his reverie.

"Thought I might find you here." Charlie Eppes called out to him. Colby couldn't deny the irony in being so close - so completely dependent upon - the younger brother of the very colleague who had threatened to throw him in jail if this situation had ever arisen again. But, he couldn't deny that he desperately needed Charlie in his life - now, more than ever. His entire life was falling apart around him - everything he'd once thought he'd known had been flipped upside down and inside out. Charlie Eppes was perhaps the only thing he had left that hadn't failed him. He was the one rock Colby knew he could always cling to in even the worst storm.

"Can't believe I was so stupid." Colby muttered, berating himself for not seeing the truth about Dwayne sooner. "I should have seen it - the signs were all there-"

"You were in love." Charlie interjected. It was a simple truth that had become so complicated. "You saw what you wanted to see." He reasoned, hoping to bring the unwitting owner of his heart whatever small measure of comfort that he could.

"That's no excuse." Colby argued, defeatedly. "I'm an FBI agent … It's my job to see things like this coming - whether I'm sleeping with the perp or not."

"Colby …" That simple utterance of his name commanded the downtrodden agent's full attention as he stared into the eyes of the man he'd been fighting his growing feelings for. From the moment he'd first met Charlie Eppes, he'd known he'd be trouble for Colby. He'd been the only man he'd even entertain the thought of cheating on Dwayne with. Maybe that's what drove him into Kim's arms … Colby silently mused to himself. Maybe Dwayne had known about Colby's feelings for the math genius and that had driven him to seek comfort elsewhere. "You're only human. Nobody can ever expect you to be perfect.

As he stared into the eyes of the man he couldn't deny that he loved, Colby saw something written in the rich dark chocolate orbs staring back at him. There was an understanding sorrow in them but it was mingled with … something else he couldn't quite identify. There was a small voice in the back of his head telling him it was love … He just didn't know if he dared to believe it. "I just …" Colby began, helplessly. "I just don't know what I'm supposed to do, now." He shrugged, hopeless. "I mean … I always thought that Dwayne was the one …" He reasoned. "Now … Now, I'm questioning … Everything … Every single time he ever told me that he loved me … Was that all a lie?"

Charlie hated the pained quiver in Colby's voice. He hated seeing the man that he loved hurting. He hated Dwayne Carter even more for hurting Colby. He just wanted to make everything … at least somewhat okay for Colby, again. "Colby … I can't tell you if there was any truth to that or not … There's no algorithm or expression or equation or matrix or anything in my arsenal that can make any of this make any kind of sense." Charlie admitted, defeatedly. "Believe me, I've tried. I've tried like hell to come up with something that could make this … okay for you …" He added. "But, what I can tell you … Is that there is a man out there that does love you … He loves you more than you'll ever know." Charlie began, concealing his long overdue confession with a veil of anonymity. "He will bend over backwards - do whatever it takes - to make you happy. He will move Heaven and Earth just to see you smile. He will do whatever it takes to help you move past your history with Dwayne and he will help you learn to trust and even let yourself fall in love again." Charlie hated how the catch in his throat gave him away. But, he needed to say this. He had to get all these pent up feelings off his chest. "He will put you on a pedestal and he will worship and adore you in ways you can't even imagine."

Colby had to admit that everything Charlie was describing to him made his heart start racing - even skipping a beat. It made him feel indescribably overjoyed to think that there could be a man like that out there. But, he couldn't help wondering if Charlie was saying all this just as a friend trying to bring comfort to another friend - or even if Charlie, himself, actually believed what he was saying. Or if there was something more that he was trying to say without saying, Deep down, he knew which one he hoped to be true. "How?" He cursed the way his voice trembled and cracked as the rain continued pouring down on them - forgotten as he lost himself in Charlie's eyes, waiting on bated breath for Charlie's answer. "How can you be so sure that this … knight in shining armor really exists?"

Drawing a deep, steadying breath, Charlie told himself that it was now or never. Throwing caution to the wind, he just dove in - head-first - as he replied "Because he just told you he did." Charlie spoke warmly, smiling nervously as his heart started racing - threatening to beat right out of his chest - as he waited for Colby's reaction.

Staring into Charlie's rich, brown, eyes as the entire world just seemed to halt around him. He couldn't breathe - couldn't even think - as Charlie's words replayed through his mind on a loop. Charlie loved him. Charles Eppes actually returned his feelings for him. However, he was soon snapped out of his reverie as Charlie spoke again.

"I-I'm sorry." Charlie stammered as Colby just stared at him with a blank expression. "I shouldn't - I shouldn't have said anything." He added, hanging his head in shame as the raindrops fell from his thoroughly soaked, jet black locks - fortunately concealing the tears stealing from his eyes. "I'm just, I'm just - I'm just gonna go …" He stammered, turning to leave.

As Charlie turned away from him, Colby snapped out of his trance as he reflexively reached out - grabbing the mathmetician's bicep, halting him in place - as Charlie's gaze snapped up to meet his. Colby hated making Charlie feel rejected. And, lacking the words to express all that he was feeling - all of the love and relief and passion coursing through his veins - he acted on pure instinct as he pulled Charlie in close to him as their collided. The feeling of Charlie's soft lips moving against his own in what could only be described as nirvana. As Charlie's lips finally parted, Colby took advantage of the invitation and deepened the kiss - cautiously sliding his tongue through the entrance - as he poured three years of pent up love and devotion into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Charlie, holding him as close to his body as was physically possible. Holding Charlie close pushed all thoughts of Dwayne and the betrayal he'd previously felt out of his mind. All that mattered, in that moment, was the two of them and the fact that the man that had unknowingly stolen his heart felt the same way for him. However, the need for oxygen finally became too great to ignore. Reluctantly, they pulled away - never breaking eye contact.

"I love you, Colby." Charlie replied, finally wearing his heart on his sleeve. Everything seemed perfect - minus the circumstances that initiated his declaration of love. He loved Colby and Colby loved him.

Smiling uncontrollably, Colby couldn't believe Charlie loved him so deeply and so completely. "I love you, too, Charlie." There was no way to know what the future would hold for them. But, none of that mattered, in that moment. With Charlie Eppes by his side, Colby felt like he could take on the world. And, he couldn't ask for anything more than that.

Author's Note:
Okay, so … I know I said I was taking a hiatus from writing - what with my wedding in 4 days and my mom being in ICU and the move … But, this idea came to me after watching 3x04 and it was driving me crazy, so, I just had to do something with it. It's not my best work, by a long shot. But, I'm happy with it. Please read and review.

~Skye Coulson