The Unwritten Rules of Gossiping

Chapter 1

Brilliant, so here I am, in my fifth year, everything's going smoothly until this happens. I've really screwed up this time, but to really understand what's going on, I'm going to have to rewind five days to Monday...

Monday – In the Gryffindor Common Room – 8:49pm

"No, Harry," I said for what felt like the millionth time. "I would not like to see your-" Before I continue, I would like to highlight just how inappropriate that sentence fragment may sound to those who just joined the conversation. Ron walked over and burst into a fit of laughter.

"What?" I asked, I was frustrated, about to snap.

"It's just that it sounded like you were about to say-" Ron started laughing again before he could finish his sentence, but the implication was pretty obvious.

"You know, I've had it up to here," I gestured to my head. "With all you boys and your immaturity. Girls would never behave like this, seriously, we wouldn't!" I was outraged, angry, furious, they were going to get a full fist if they weren't careful.

"Girls would behave like this, Hermione," Harry said. "Have you not heard the girls discussing who they would rather date, Snape or Flitwick?"

"But thats- they- huh..." I spluttered. "Girls aren't like that!"

"Just because you're a girl and you're not like that, doesn't mean every other female in this place follows suit." Ron said.

I was getting really angry now. You've got to understand, from my background, that topic of conversation rarely came up... and I didn't like it when it did.

"You've got to lighten up Hermione," Harry said. "You're always going on about learning and crap that you've forgotten to live like a normal teenager."

"I'm not normal," I said, folding my arms. "I hang out with you lot, don't I? The only person that would be dumb enough to do that has to have a few screws missing..."

"Seriously, Hermione, we're dead serious. For once maybe you should act like a normal teenage girl. Honestly, you know how you think that by being invisible you're avoiding being gossiped about?"

"Yes. Well I haven't heard any nasty rumors about myself, so I guess it's so far, so good." I shrugged.

"Not true 'Mione. Just because the rumors haven't got to you, doesn't mean they're not there." Ron said, sounding very sincere as he said it.

My face dropped. People had been gossiping about me? I had never done anything particularly mean to anyone, had I?

"Well, if you knew there were rumors, why didn't you tell me?" I asked, a bit angry that they hadn't told me any of this sooner.

"You really wouldn't want to hear them..." Harry said, raising his eyebrows and shaking his head.

"Well I really think that's up to me, don't you?" I said, still in denial that these things had really been said at all.

"Well," Harry began. "Remember that time you were having that conversation with Lavender when she was upset. And then you said, 'It's just a shame you aren't intelligent enough to see what I mean.' Well, she took it really personally and told everyone you're a self-centred, privileged, know-it-all and a downright – well I honestly don't think you'd like to hear the rest..."

I was in shock. Lavender, a girl I had considered my friend, had been gossiping about me behind my back. "Who else?" I asked.

"What?" the boys asked.

"Who else has been saying these things, who else?" I was practically shouting now. Never in my life had anything like this happened to me, I had heard about it happening to other girls, but never me, if I had known it hurt Lavender so much, I would have apologised immediately...

"Well, practically everyone, literally, like Katie, Angelina, Alicia, Ginny-"

"Ginny?" I asked, in shock. I felt a lump in my throat. This was all so sudden, I thought I was going to cry. All the people I thought I could trust...

"Yep, Ginny's one of the worst-"

"Oh gosh!" I gasped. I was shaking my head and opening and closing my mouth like a fish, I couldn't find words to form a sentence. "I'm going to confront her-"

"NO!" Harry and Ron yelled simultaneously. "You can't," Harry continued alone. "Don't you know the rules of gossiping? Hell, I'm a dude and I know them!"

"There are rules to gossiping?" I asked, feeling very upset that people hate me and now that I was so clueless about the whole thing, like an idiot.

"They're more unwritten rules, but one of them is that you never tell people when you know what they've been saying!" Ron said, the two of them standing around me to keep me from going up the girls.

"Why not? I can't just let them get away with it!" I said, trying to push Harry out the way, he wouldn't budge.

"You're meant to hold it for if you ever get in a fight, then use it against them." Harry said.

"What? That's ridiculous-" I said. "Anyway, they have to learn exactly how it feels from my point of view-"

"They already know," Harry said. I stopped shuffling when he said this. "Everyone gets gossiped about. Like the other day, I heard Ginny gossiping about Lavender, and how Lavender's always checking herself out in the mirror, and how she always pretends she has boyfriends back home, when everyone knows it's a lie."

"Yep," Ron confirmed. "And I heard Lavender saying that Ginny is so obviously jealous of the fact that she has boyfriends, just because the only person who would take her to the ball was Neville, and that was only because Lavender already had a partner."

"Really?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yep," Harry shrugged. "It's just how girls are, so it's not just you. You really need to start acting like a normal teenager."

"Yeah, try rolling up your skirt a bit, show off those dynamite legs-"

I looked down at my legs. Dynamite legs?

"Kidding," Ron said at my confusion. "Just, look at the other girls and... do what they do."

"You know, maybe what Lavender said is true. I've been so absorbed in what grades I get, that I've forgotten to really live." I stood up. "I wanna play truth or dare after midnight – on a school night. I wanna talk about guys. I wanna gossip about people for no good reason. I wanna get a boyfriend, I wanna go skinny dipping in the Black Lake-"

"Hemione? Skinny dipping? In the lake? Have you completely lost the plot?" Ron asked.

"You two need to lighten up!" I was smiling now. I pushed them both out the way and ran off up to my dormitory. I went straight to bed and fell asleep almost instantly. I didn't care anymore about grades, or even what that bimbo Lavender Brown thinks of me, I was free. And for the rest of the week, people were gunna see another side of Hermione Granger, one they had never seen before...