To Catch a 'Bot

Transformers belongs to Hasbro. Venture Bros belongs to Jackson Publick and Doc Hammer.

Notes:
I may have been the one to write it, but there are a number of guilty parties involved in its creation. You know who you are.

Prologue

"So we all remember last year's utter disaster at the UN's Scientific Symposium, right?"

"You mean the part where everyone laughed the Ooh Ray off stage, or when that ninja guy started humping it? "

The Venture family had gathered in the Compound's main hangar for the unveiling of Dr. Venture's latest creation. They waited with their usual enthusiasm – Brock looked bored, Hank and Dean distracted and H.E.L.P.e.R robotic. Venture had placed a large white sheet over the towering invention, but the figure beneath remained suspiciously giant-robot-shaped, so suspense did not run high.

Dr. Venture considered Brock's question, then decided, "Either one, really. The point is that this year my invention will shake the very foundations of science. It will herald a new era in the development of electronics and redefine the way the world considers life."

Dean looked tentatively impressed. "That sounds pretty cool."

Venture allowed himself a self-satisfied grin, "Yes, and the best part is not only do I get to play God, but also rub my superiority in the faces of all those bastards from last year's Symposium."

"Can we call it Mecha Shiva?" Hank asked with a sudden burst of attention span.

"Don't be an idiot, Hank. This –" Venture paused dramatically as he tapped a controller fitted in the palm of his hand. The sheet fell aside as he finished, "is Duskbird."

Duskbird was in fact a giant robot. What the sheet had succeeded in hiding was the giant robot's ninja-ness, complete with metallic facemask and hood – the whole ensemble painted in shades of dark grey just shy of black.

"Gee, Pop! This is your best invention ever!"

While Hank and Dean, as teenage boys, remained highly impressed, Brock responded with skepticism.

"A ninja giant robot?" He asked. "How's that supposed to work? Ninja's are stealthy and giant robots are...enormous. That thing's three stories tall. The only thing it can sneak into is a football stadium."

"Beep-beep beep beep," H.E.L.P.e.R added.

"H.E.L.P.e.R's right," Brock nodded. "It was in a Saturday morning cartoon."

Venture, slightly more defensive than usual, crossed his arms in annoyance. "Don't be ridiculous. I spent my childhood riding on magic carpets and getting kidnapped by Mole People; it didn't leave much time for sitting in front of the television. That I'd rip off some cartoon for ideas I intend to present to the worldwide scientific community is beyond absurd."

H.E.L.P.e.R tilted its head. "Beep beep."

"Of course not!" Venture exclaimed. "Nightbird is female, and Duskbird is clearly male. See? They're nothing alike."

"Pop, what's the difference between a male robot and a female robot?"

"I'll tell you when you're older, Dean. Now, if everyone is done wasting my time with stupid questions, I suggest we all get ready for our company."

"Company?" Brock turned his head in surprise. "Doc, you never said anything about company."

Venture shrugged. "Now, now, I didn't want you to worry. Some agency got wind of my invention and insisted on sending reinforcements to protect it until the Symposium."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Brock looked annoyed. Not "rip out someone's spine and strangle him with it" furious, but still on the peeved side.

Venture brushed aside his concern with a flippant wave. "I don't know the details. Not surprisingly a number of evil organizations are intent upon stealing Nigh—I mean Duskbird, so this special ops group wants to keep an eye on it. I wouldn't have accepted, except they agreed to rent a couple of rooms while they stay over, and we could really use the extra income."

"Special ops? Doc, it's just a giant robot. I've protected more valuable things before, and you know these people are just gonna get in my way."

"People? Did I say people?" Venture adjusted his glasses. "No one said anything about sending 'people' over."

Dean appeared slightly less confused than Hank, so he managed to ask first, "Then who are they sending, Pop?"

"Have you ever heard of the Autobots?"