Dead like Fern

Authors note: A dead like me parody. Not sure how rushed this chapter is, released due to myself suffering writers block withBuster and the Donut Seeds.

Fern was walking to school, she seemed to be happy with the way her life was going, but not all was perfect; she was hit by a car, police tapered off the area, her ribs were damaged, her organs were obviously damaged and she was suffering from internal bleeding as she lay motionless on the side of the road.

Sue Ellen screamed in horror, she fell to her knees raised her arms and yelled, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she had run up to Fern as she slowly closed her eyes.

Fern's spirit had drifted out of her body, she had seen the extent damage done to her body, blood was seeping from the scraps, and cuts, "Am I dead?" asked the poodle girl nervously; as she turned around a black cloaked unknown species of anthropomorphic man was there standing as he was almost expecting her.

"I am death, Fern; it is too early for you to 'cross-over', but the extent of the damage done that when the car had hit you was phenomenal, you will be in more pain if I send you back."

Fern was shocked seeing Sue Ellen pacing in horror and shock, "What?"

The cloaked man explained a bit more, "Essentially, now before I send you to Heaven or Hell, you are to get the souls."

Fern's quick and onlyquestion was, "Like a Grim Reaper?"

The mysterious black robbed figure whom wasweaing a cloak over his head snapped his fingers and Fern's outfit turned into a black robbed cloak outfit; a scythe had mysteriously appeared in her hand, "Now go."

Fern had more questions, she of course was apprehensive of doing this, leaving her friends behind just to send people to the other side, "But, what if someone sees me?"

"They won't… Unless I give you instructions to."

"What about the facts that if I collect souls, I will have to partake in getting people I know?"

The figure sighed, "It is often the hardest part of the job; you will need to do it sometimes, you will need to collect the soul of Carl Manino, it is going to be a la heart attack."

Fern said nothing but lowered her head and picked up the scythe, she knew what she had to do.

"A warning though, if you disobey me, I will send you to hell, or send you back in a different person's body… I will think of something probably send you back, now go." the cloaked figured commented in a dark tone, then asked, Are you ready or do you got any more questions?"

Fern of course had more questions and the cloaked figure sighed.

Back on Earth, Sue Ellen was mourning the death of her friend, she was in more ways in was shocked, traumatized as she witnessed it and she hadn't spoke of this since it happened, no one could get through to her. She wasn't talking about it that it had traumatized her that much.

Mr. Ratburn was starting to find it a problem, he had sighed and took her out of the classroom, "Sue Ellen, I know you are affected by this and I think you should go home."

Sue Ellen didn't say a single word as they both walked down to the principals' office; she had sat outside the office on a bench, when her parents came they has taken her home, all her mother said was, "Fern's funeral is going to be in two days."

Her house wasn't too far from the school, and the Armstrong family was home in about seven minutes to be exact, When Sue Ellen got inside the house, she had run to her room and she wrote in her diary.

Dear diary, why did she have to leave this world so early? Why couldn't the car hit me instead?

As Sue Ellen continued writing, Fern's ghost watched Sue Ellen in her emotional pain, the cat girl was still not talking she hadn't talked all day, not a single word.

Friday had quickly come, Sue Ellen hadn't been in school on Thursday… nor Friday due to the funeral and to the fact that she still wasn't talking. Her mother knew very well that her emotional wounds will take a while to heal.

At the funeral Sue Ellen was in her Sunday's best, she had seen the lifeless body of Fern in the casket; a tear had streamed down her right cheek as she was going to say a final goodbye to her friend.

However on the 'other side' Fern as the soul collector was starting to be a pain in a butt for Death, "Just go already! He is overdue."

"But…" Fern replied innocently with puppy dog eyes, "If I… how should I put it nicely? Kill him, what'll happen to the Sugar Bowl?"

Death had just about enough, he had raised his scythe, "A family member will take it over, now go!"

Fern sighed as she went towards a door and found Mr. Manino in the Sugar Bowl, however he couldn't see her, she had followed the directions that her counterpart had given and she touched his chest. Within moments, Mr. Manino's eyes had turned wide as he clutched his chest; he had fallen on the floor as the heart attack was taking its course. Within moments he lay on the floor, Fern wasn't sure if she did it right, she didn't see his spirit drift out, she just left but something was telling her he didn't die from the heart attack, this was due to the fact that she didn't really have any formal training in being a soul collector.

To Be Continued.