Disclaimer Thingy: we do not own the Mortal Instruments. We are not Cassandra Clare either (sadly)

Kiwis of Peace

MY KIWI! Jace's POV

I was walking down the street, humming a snappy show tune. Out of the blue, Clary comes out of the Institute and slaps me. I feel a sort of stinging. Inside, and out.

"You stole my kiwi!" Clary yelled in my face.

"What kiwi?"

"My prize-winning kiwi, that's what kiwi, Jace! You think that you're so high and mighty that you can go around eating everyone's kiwis. But no, Jace. NO!!"

Then, to make matters worse, she got all up in my face. "I did not steal you're 'prize winning' kiwi! Where could you even grow a kiwi? We're in New York City for the Angel's sake!"

"Well duh, Jace! Where else would you grow a kiwi but the roof of the building? Didn't you know I had a secret place where I could just go and cry about my inner problems? And trust me Jace; I have a lot of them. A lot of them, I tell you! Also tears work wonders on the mysterious kiwi crops that are springing up all over the buildings of New York City."

"Calm down Clary, I did not steal your kiwi! But I will help you find it."

"Fine Jace. Who should be the first victim?"

"What about Alec? I hear he has developed a kiwi fetish." I calmly told Clary.

"Fine! Let's go Jace!" Clary yelled, sprinting down the street singing, "Has anyone seen a rouge kiwi?!" over and over again. Was she high? That explains the pill bottle I found earlier in the bathtub. Yes I take baths, are you questioning my manlihood?

……

We Alec in Justice, for girls! "Alec, WHAT are you doing here?" I said as Alec dropped a frilly pink dress that looked like it was his size.

"I, uh… I… nothing! I mean I was just getting a dress for Isabelle! Yeah, that's what I was doing!"

*Flashback*

I walked into the library, looking for Hodge, when I see something so strange. Alec dancing around in a sparkly purple dress singing 'I'm pretty! I feel pretty! I'm so pretty!'

"Oh my god! Alec what are you doing?"

"I uh…. I…"

*End Flashback*

"Alec! Did you take my kiwi!" Clary screamed, tackling Alec to the floor.

"Clary I did not take your stupid kiwi!" Alec yelled in her ear. She got up rubbing her head.

She pouted and whimpered "just asking, but wait where is it then!"

"I saw Isabelle with it this morning, she was drawing a face on it, and stabbing it saying 'Die Meliorn!'" (DN: Meliorn is the elf that Isabelle was 'dating' in the second book)

"Rawr!" Clary screeched. Then she sprinted out of the store. I gave Alec one more look, shook my head, and ran out of the door after Clary.

Isabelle was on the bed brushing her hair. "1001, 1002, 1003. Oh hey guys what is up, I was just brushing my hair, 1004, 1005, 1006"

"Fess up, kiwi hater, you stole my kiwi!"

"Ohhhhhhhhh, that kiwi, yah I had it, stupid Meliorn" Isabelle said in a terrible valley girl voice that she always talks in.

"You renamed my kiwi!" Clary screeched.

"Wai, woah, woah. You named your kiwi." I asked not really wanting to know.

"Duh Jace, his name is Billius Jackson Labradoodle Mr. Kiwi, do you have a problem with that?" She asked. I did but I wasn't going to tell her.

"Then I gave it to Magnus, he was going to turn it black like Meliorn's hair (DN: I have no idea what his hair color is.) so when I stab it I get more pleasure." She told her in a matter-of-fact voice.

"Ugh!" I screamed was this ever going to end? I grabbed Isabelle's brush and threw it out of the window, Isabelle just kept 'brushing' her hair like nothing happened. She is really stupid.

Clary and I walked out of the room.

Magnus was in his bedroom watching tv when I walked in. "Magnus! Where is my Kiwi!?" Clary asked in a voice just a little under screaming.

"Well golly-gee-wilikers Clary, I had no idea that you wanted your kiwi back! I already ate it!"

"NOOO!" Clary screamed as she sank to the ground "My Kiwi! My…, oh wait." She reached into her pocket…. And pulled out a giant kiwi. Great…

"MY KIWI, BILIUS JACKSON LABRADOODLE MR. KIWI, MAGNUS, JACE I FOUND MY KIWI!" Clary screamed.

"Neato!" Magnus joined in.

Well that was a ten minutes I wasn't getting back.

So the reason we wrote this is because on my sims game i made my sims write a book titled kiwis of peace and we were obsessed with kiwis yesterday so we wrote this.