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Short chapters, updates twice a week, enjoy.
Must I captain?
Chapter one: The facts of the matter.
The thing about James Tiberius Kirk was that even though he had an extraordinary ability to get himself into more trouble than any living being should be able to it was paired with the ability to come up with rather unique, totally illogical and dammed right bizarre ways of getting out of it. The third thing that anybody (especially those who had to work under him) ought to know about James Tiberius Kirk was that despite all odds being against him these illogical plans seemed to always save himself and his crew from near death. If Spock hadn't been a Vulcan he would have called it luck, but as it was Spock couldn't actually figure out how it was that when every situation with a less than a million to one chance of getting out alive came along Jim somehow mucked around with the way the universe worked and survived. The odds that Jim was still alive despite every insane alien; super computer; Neanderthal like hostiles; previously undiscovered space madness; aging virus; feme fatal or disembodied highly intelligent humanoid; in the so far discovered universe had tried to kill Jim were ninety-eight trillion fifty- six billion seventy-eight million one hundred and ninety-four thousand thirty-four hundred and two to one. Spock did not believe that there was any singular disembodied everlasting omnipotent being interfering with the lives of lesser beings, but if on some off chance there was, it had Jim's back.
Now, Spock was a Vulcan and it takes a lot to worry a Vulcan but three years after walking onto the bridge of the Enterprise for the first time Spock decided in a very logical manner it was time to worry. It was part of a first officers job to keep the captain safe, and with Jim Kirk as captain Spock had to be the hardest working first officer in the fleet. Yet it was worse still, because when Jim Kirk inevitably got himself into trouble and inevitably came up with an illogical plan to fix it Spock was inevitably forced to do something completely against his grain, something illogical and undignified. And at the end of this illogical task when they had somehow managed to survive yet again in one living breathing piece Jim Kirk would smile clap him on the back and say 'job well done ' and sit in his command chair looking somewhat pleased with himself whilst Spock would sit and think to himself 'what the hell just happened here?' (and then silently forgive himself for thinking the word hell, his mother was Human after all). But there was still something even worse than all this, another reason Spock had to worry, another thing that played on his usually well-behaved mind, something that had crept slowly in. He had pondered assessed and finally concluded the last inevitable fact of this matter.