Drakken's Birthday
After reading Ninnik Nishukan's Maslow I got this plot bunny about Drakken's birthday, the stories are in no way related but Maslow gave me the plot bunny so credit where credit's due. I hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: Kim Possible and related are the property of Disney which, contrary to common belief, I do not own.
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Drakken woke up with a happy smile on his face; today was his birthday and he was going to enjoy it. No evil plans, no take over the world schemes; just a nice day with cake, and presents… maybe a picnic with the henchmen. It was going to be great… at least, a lot better than last year when everyone forgot about it.
Drakken's smile faltered a bit, but no thoughts of last year; it was all about today.
He opened the curtains… only to look at a drizzly, grey day.
"Well, maybe no picnic," he frowned as he got dressed and walked to the kitchen to get breakfast.
Nothing was set up for him; the henchmen were nowhere to be seen this early in the morning and Shego sat yawning at the table with a large mug of coffee.
"Morning Dr. D," the green villainess mumbled as she took a large sip of her coffee, which effects had clearly not kicked in yet.
"Good morning Shego," Drakken smiled, a bit confused at her lack of interest and, even more so, the fact that she hadn't wished him a happy birthday. He decided to help her a bit, "Don't you know what day it is?"
Shego looked in confusion at the blue villain but decided to play along, "Oh yeah, silly me… how could I forget…"
"Well?"
"Uhm," Shego thought frantically but couldn't figure out what Drakken meant. Finally she decided to give up, "Ok Dr. D, it's seven thirty in the morning and I have no idea what you are talking about. What day is today?"
Drakken's eye twitched, "Shego! Ok, let me give you a hint; on this day exactly forty-two years ago something happened…"
"The invention of television? I'm sorry Dr. D," Shego sighed, "I have no idea what you are talking about, and it's too early for games…"
"TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!" Drakken yelled.
Shego's eyes grew wide, "Oh, yeah… uhm…"
She was saved from further commenting by the first of the henchmen walking in, they greeted their boss and Shego and went to raid to cookie jar before starting to get to work, soon all fifteen of the henchmen had arrived and were hanging around the kitchen and the living area with coffee and cookies.
"Well?" Drakken asked again, this time directing the question to his henchmen.
"Uhm, we already said good morning, right?" one of the henchmen asked, "did we forget to switch off machinery yesterday?"
"IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!" Drakken shouted, this time with more eye twitching and nervous ticks, "DID YOU ALL FORGET? WELL, I DIDN'T!"
He looked strangely at Shego and the henchmen who took a few steps back, "You forgot! just like last year. But not this time, we will have a party today… Oh yes, it will be great. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Hehe," Shego chuckled nervously as she shuffled to the exit, "you know, I think I'll take up a vacation day… unpaid is no problem."
"Oh no, no-one has to leave," Drakken grinned wickedly, "it will be great." Before Shego or any of the henchmen could react, he produced a small remote and pressed a few buttons, and all kinds of machinery became active.
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BEEB BEEB BEEEB BEEB
"What's the sitch Wade?" Kim yawned; she had been planning on sleeping in today as they had a day off from school because of some kind of teachers' convention for the entire tri-city area, much to Mr. Barkin's frustration.
"Drakken's main lair has gone on-line, heavily," Wade, Team Possible's computer genius, told, "all the defenses have started up and there are some massive energy readings."
"I'm on it," Kim stretched and looked sadly at her warm bed, "give me fifteen minutes to get ready, I would like to be a bit presentable when facing off with Shego. Could you wake Ron please and thank you."
Wade sighed, "Sure, give me the hard job… meet up at Ron's house in twenty, I'll have transportation ready."
"This is unfair," Ron grumbled as he and Kim sat in the plane that would drop them off at Drakken's lair, "the one day we have free…"
"I'm sorry Ron," Kim apologized, "but think of it this way; if we stop him this early on in his scheme, there is less chance for pant-ripping traps."
"I guess," Ron sighed, "you know, I have the feeling today is important somehow… something to do with Drakken."
Kim pondered for a moment, then she shrugged, "I don't think whatever it is, is a big deal. Come on, let's get ready to jump."
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"That's odd…" Kim frowned as she looked at the lair; all the windows had lights in many colors and music could be heard coming from inside. And all the traps were active, only they pointed inwards.
"Maybe Drakken has caught someone and wants to keep them inside," Ron suggested.
"Could be," Kim agreed, "but usually he is trying to capture us when he is not trying to take over the world… Let's check it out."
Carefully the teens sneaked inside; avoiding the traps was easy, as the machines didn't even seem to recognize them. But when Ron took a step back towards the exit, a laser suddenly pointed at him.
"KP, I think we have a problem…"
More lasers became active and the teens had to run the last part into the lair to prevent being shot.
When they arrived in the main living room they were met with a very strange scene; Drakken, Shego and the henchmen all wearing party hats and sitting on the couches eating cake or dancing to the music. Kim noticed Shego and most of the henchmen wearing a strange, forced smile while Drakken was bouncing around with a happy, if slightly wicked, smile of his own.
Then the blue villain noticed the teens, "Ah, Kim Possible, how great of you to have come to my birthday… you knew it was my birthday, right?"
Kim saw Shego nodding frantically in her direction, "Uh, yeah… wouldn't miss my favorite supervillain's birthday."
"Me neither," Ron said, glancing wishfully at the cake, "so, how old have you gotten? Forty? Forty-one?"
"Forty-two actually," Drakken beamed, "so what did you get me?"
Kim and Ron shared a confused look, and Drakken's frown returned. Kim quickly reached for her grappling gun holster and pulled it free, "here you go, we didn't have time to wrap it… uh, it was pretty early when we left… but you're always saying that if I didn't have my grappling gun you could have easily won… so here," she chuckled a bit nervous while handing Drakken her grappling gun and holster.
"Yeah dude," Ron shook Drakken's hand, "and many years to come… so how about that cake?"
"Help yourself," Drakken gestured, looking happily at the grappling gun, "See Shego? Even my arch foe didn't forget."
As Ron and Rufus ran to the cake, Kim walked over to Shego, "What's going on?"
"The doc lost it," the villainess told, "we forgot his birthday, just like last year, and now he has gone all crazy like this."
"And the traps?"
"Yeah, we can't get out," Shego muttered, "We're trapped by a maniac."
"Could be worse," Kim smirked as she watched Ron and Rufus stuffing their face, "where did he get the cake anyway?"
"Turned out he had planned a big party," Shego explained, "but we weren't supposed to forget… and the weather didn't help either."
"I see…" Kim said, "but this isn't a terrible way to spend the day."
"Hah," Shego snorted, "you saw us all smiling? If Dr. D sees we're not smiling, he gets even more crazy; he already threatened to feed some of the henchmen to the sharks if they refused to be happy on his birthday."
"We can take him on," Kim suggested, "Together it would be no problem."
"Don't you think I already thought about that?" Shego snorted, "Drakken is the only one who knows the release code for the defenses… those things might not be too great in keeping you out, but they sure work wonders keeping everybody inside."
"Well, I guess we have to sit out the day then and hope Drakken gets normal again," Kim shrugged.
"Easy for you to say," Shego grumbled, "you've been here only a few minutes, try keeping up that smile for several hours."
"I'm a cheerleader," Kim grinned, "smiling is part of what we do."
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"Ok, I admit," Kim said through her forced smile, "this gets rather tough after some time."
"Told you so," Shego said, a similar smile plastered on her face.
Ron, however, seemed to be genuinely enjoying himself; dancing off the sugar from the many slices of cake he ate, unfortunately the dancing looked more like he was having a severe case of an epilepsy attack.
"Dancing!" Drakken cried happily when he returned from the kitchen with more cake, "Henk… Rob… the buffoon has a point, we should all dance."
"Dr. D," Shego tried, "do you really think…"
"WE SHOULD ALL DANCE!"
"I blame you," Shego growled as she passed Kim while dancing to the funky tunes between the henchmen.
The redhead frowned, "Why?"
"You brought the buffoon along."
"Well… you forgot Drakken's birthday," Kim looked at Drakken, who had joined Ron in the middle of the room doing a very strange version of street dancing, or maybe playing air guitar, Kim wasn't sure.
Then the tune changed, and everyone recognized the next song. A mutual "Oh no," could be seen on most faces. Drakken, on the other hand, was absolutely delighted, "The Limbo song, let me get a limbo pole."
Moments later the blue supervillain returned holding one of the henchmen's shock staffs, "This should work."
"Uh, Dr. D…"
"LET'S LIMBO!"
Fortunately the shock staff wasn't activated; the henchmen shrugged and formed a line and started limboing under the staff.
"Betcha I can go lower," Kim smirked at Shego, who stood directly behind her.
"We'll see," the green skinned villainess grinned.
Most of the henchman failed on the second or third run and watched from the sideline until eventually only Kim and Shego were left.
"Let's up the ante," Shego smirked, "Dr. D, switch on the staff."
"Are you nuts?" Kim snapped, "That thing is dangerous."
"Are you chickening out?" Shego grinned, "cluck cluck."
"It is on," Kim growled.
"KP, you don't have to…" Ron tried, but Kim waved him off.
Drakken switched on one side of the shock staff, switching on both sides would give him some nasty shocks as he held the staff at the other end, and Kim and Shego got ready for the next round.
Kim moved almost flat over the ground, her legs bent under her body at an odd angle to allow her to move forward. But she made it without getting shocked.
"Your turn Shego," Kim smirked.
Shego looked at how low the staff was held; even Kim had had trouble passing under it, and the redhead certainly was less… busty. But Shego would never back out against the princess, so she took a deep breath and got ready for her pass. But then the music switched again.
Kim smiled deviously at Shego, who looked kinda relieved by the ending of the song, "Guess we know who the winner is."
"Oh yeah?" Shego, feeling embarrassed and not in the mood to be mocked lit her hands and got ready to attack Kim. But Drakken restrained her, holding the active side of the shock staff mere inches from her face.
"No fighting on my birthday!"
"Sure Dr. D," Shego backed away a few steps and doused the flames on her hands. Kim frowned, Drakken was getting crazier it seemed.
"Ron, maybe we should distract Drakken somehow, the way this goes we end up in the newspaper tomorrow."
"Coolio," Ron smiled.
"Not that way, more like: madman kills seventeen," That brought Ron's smile to an end.
"Maybe we could reset all the clocks and make him think it's evening already?" he suggested.
"Good idea," Kim relayed the idea the Shego, who reluctantly agreed; she was still a bit pissed about Kim beating her at limbo dancing. But the villainess also knew that if Drakken's crazy went up just a notch or two feeling beaten by Kim would be the least of her problems.
Kim, Ron, Rufus and Shego quickly went to reset the clocks in the lair, making sure Drakken could always see at least two of them partying.
Fortunately the rainy weather was on their side, as it was already getting darker.
"Well Dr. Drakken," Kim smiled as she shook the villain's hand and faked a yawn, "it's getting late and we have to head back home, it has been a great party."
"Yeah," Ron agreed, "maybe we should do this again someday… in a year or so," then he spotted the annoyed looks from everybody else except Drakken, "uhm… anyway, we'll see about that."
"Time sure flies when you're having fun," Drakken said, rather confused; he thought it was only early afternoon, but he had somehow lost his watch during the dancing and all the clocks surely showed at was already past nine in the evening, "thank you for the presents and have a save trip home."
Kim and Ron picked up their backpacks and walked out of the lair, past the now deactivated defenses.
BEEB BEEB BEEEB BEEB
"Where have you been?" Wade asked after Kim picked up the Kimmunicator, "I've been trying to reach you all day."
"You wouldn't believe it," Kim chuckled, "but could you mark this date and warn us about it next year?"
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The party quickly died out after Kim and Ron had left; the henchmen decided to take their chance as well and started to fake yawning and thanking for the party. Soon the lair was empty again except for Drakken and Shego.
"Wasn't today great?" Drakken asked, only a hint of craziness left in his eyes.
"It sure was," Shego said, hoping Drakken wouldn't get all crazy again now they were alone, "why don't I clean up and you get to bed."
"I can help you if you like," Drakken offered.
"Nah, it's your birthday," Shego smiled her now getting very painful forced smile; she so hated cleaning, "you don't have to do the work."
After Drakken went to bed, Shego set all the clocks back to their normal time; she hoped Drakken wouldn't wake up too soon the next day and figure out something was wrong. Then she cleaned up and went to one of her apartments nearby, not feeling up to spending the night with the now truly mad genius.
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The next day Shego returned to the lair and found Drakken working on some new take over the world scheme.
"Good morning Shego," he said distracted, absorbed in his work, "all the henchman called in sick today. Strange, don't you think?"
"After yesterday… I'm not surprised," Shego told.
"What do you mean," Drakken asked confused, "was the cake bad or something like that?"
"Uhm… Dr. D…" then Shego noticed Drakken really didn't know how crazy he'd been acting, "…Yeah, I think it was the cake."
"Oh well," Drakken shrugged, "don't need them anyway anytime soon."
Shego shuddered as she walked off to get some coffee, she would most certainly write yesterday's date in her agenda; one crazy birthday was more than enough for a lifetime.
Now there was only one thing left to do; show the princess that she could limbo lower.
END