Happy Birthday Charlotte! It's already the 22nd where you are so that's why I'm posting it now.
You mean the world to both Eva and myself. Eva will agree that the best part of loving DE and being a part of this fandom is the lifelong friendships we've made. Sending love across the pond. You're wise beyond your years and so very kind. We both love you dearly. We hope you'll enjoy your story.
Death Is Just a Feeling: Part One
The first time he sees her she's barking information at the hospital staff as soon as they open the door of the ambulance bay. Quickly the staff, himself included push the gurney into a room. She's pumping on an older gentleman's chest who they picked up in the middle of the street, having no idea how long he was down. She's a vision. Her dark hair is tied in a ponytail but loose strands hang around her face due the exceptional force she's putting into the chest compressions as she tries valiantly to save the man's life. Her petite form is shaking with the effort.
"We'll take it from here," he means to reassure her, but realizes immediately how arrogant it must have sounded.
She makes a place for him and carefully backs off, letting him do his job. Just before he leaves trauma room one to follow after his patient, he can hear her silent but almost threatening, "Don't screw it up, doc…"
When he turns around one more time, the entrance doors are already swinging shut, obscuring her form from view. He may see her again this evening, it's early yet.
"Who is she?" he asks his brother after he happened to notice them exchanging a few words at the reception.
"Who? The paramedic? That's Elena Gilbert, we went to high school together."
Damon whistles soundlessly. "The Elena Gilbert?"
"Yeah," Stefan nods. "Never met her?"
"Never been formally introduced."
"Well, if you hadn't been so busy conquering the world, finding excuses to stay away, you might have met some of my high school pals."
Was that a not so subtle dig? It's been years and Stefan still takes Damon's lengthy absence personally. He mentally rolls his eyes.
"Last week was the first time I saw her, she sweetly told me not to screw up."
"Do I detect a hint of sarcasm, brother?"
"You did indeed," Damon confirms, taking a swallow from his drink.
Stefan laughs, then becomes serious. "Yeah, that's probably a sore spot for her. You know, certainly you remember her parents. Her mother was lifeless when they pulled them out of the water, her father could have lived. She believes that if he had received proper medical care, he would have survived. They attempted CPR but they couldn't get him tubed, he was declared brain dead a couple days after the accident."
Damon nods understandingly, his mind drifting backwards in time, trying to remember what he knew about the Gilberts. There was an accident on the Wickery Bridge, Greyson lost control and the car plummeted into depths beneath the old structure. The guard rails should've held but it'd been in a state of disrepair for years, it was only after the accident that the city allocated the funds to repair it.
Elena was the only survivor in the tragic accident, fortunately her little brother wasn't in the car on that horrible night. Damon was already at college, happily ignoring the mournful cries of his birth place, a town too small for his spirited nature. Somehow he still ended up here, figuring he should at least try to discover what's really best for him.
"She wanted to be a doctor, I suppose it was her dad's influence, she wanted to make him proud. But to give her credit, what she does now isn't too far from her original plan."
"She was that good, huh?"
"Are you kidding? She was our class valedictorian, everyone expected great things from her. She was always a few steps ahead of me."
That's something. Damon doesn't remember the last time Stefan admitted someone could turn out better than himself – at anything. Well, actually it's never happened before. He studies the nostalgic look his brother's suddenly sporting. He wonders...
"Did the two of you date?" he can't help the edge to his voice at the very thought.
"Almost," Stefan answers discontentedly and Damon has no idea why he should feel relieved.
"Almost?" he's mocking. "Wow, Stef, if I did a count of every woman that I've almost slept with..."
His brother gives him a nasty look. "Well, I'm not you, am I?"
"Clearly," Damon watches Stefan leave, a haughty glint in his eye, with amusement. Some things never change... namely his little brother's arrogance.
The next time he sees her it's once again in the ED. She looks… lovely as ever, her hair messy, clothes bloody, an ugly looking cut on her chin and the naked parts of her body, her ash-covered face is striped black where sweat has run down her skin.
His nightmarish shift just ended, they had a kid brought in, in full arrest from drowning. Thankfully they got a rhythm back. They weren't so lucky with the shooting victim. As a last ditch effort, Damon had to crack his chest and attempt internal cardiac massage. They had a heartbeat for about thirty seconds before losing it permanently. On his way to shower and change, he stops at the desk to mention something to the woman who's head is immersed in a report of some kind. His shadow falls on the paper and she raises her head to look at the intruder. "Hey doc…"
"Hello to you too, I'm…"
"Stefan's brother, I know. Sorry, Doctor Salvatore."
"Contrary to popular belief, I usually prefer Damon to 'Stefan's brother' but since we haven't officially met yet, I can't very well hold a grudge now can I?" he does a thing with his eyes and Elena can't help but smile, despite the exhaustion that's wracking her body.
"I'm Elena Gilbert," she adds realizing it felt more personal than she intended.
"Nice to meet you, Elena, Gilbert. What brings you here tonight?"
Her eyes are so expressive, they shine after his question, igniting something unrecognizable inside of him. "My patient was a five year old. The firemen pulled her out of a flaming house, smoke inhalation, burns, we managed to stabilize her. The chopper's taking her to the burn center in Richmond. Hopefully she'll be alright... It was a good day."
"I'm glad to hear that... children are the hardest," he gives her a small thoughtful smile. Aware that his excuse for lingering is rather weak, he reluctantly turns to leave. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Elena Gilbert..." For a second he holds his breath but she doesn't protest, he forces his legs to move forward and away from her.
"Hey doc!" she calls and sprints after him. "The man we brought in a few weeks ago, is he going to be okay?" she knows he can't give her any specifics but still…
Stopping in his tracks, he turns around with a huge smile on his face. "Did you doubt me? I hope not?" Without saying another word, he turns to walk away.
She's sporting a wide grin even after he disappears behind the glass doors.
Doctor Salvatore crosses not only her path but also her mind quite often over the course of the past few weeks. She notices how focused and patient he is with his patients. His sarcasm and the way he can ease the tension is admirable. Stefan's always been so tense, so serious, the brothers are like day and night but she can't slight Stefan, he's a great doctor too. It's just that their mannerisms are the polar opposite of each other. Not that she'd ever have use for Stefan's services. She chuckles mentally at the thought. Yeah, plastic surgery is exactly the field she would have expected Stefan to pursue. When she found out what he chose to specialize in, she wasn't the least bit surprised.
"Hey, Elena, wanna grab something to eat? I'm paying…," Kai wiggles his eyebrows at her. She considers him for a moment. She knows what he's hoping for, but it's never going to happen. Not anymore. It was a mistake going out with someone from work. And Kai's a good friend, one she doesn't want to lose. Even if she did have time to spend with the opposite sex, her answer will always be no.
"Sorry Kai, I'm on duty, picked it up when Tyler called in sick. I don't have time for lunch, I need to get back to the station."
If he's disappointed, he doesn't show it. "Really Elena? Again? I'm still waiting for the occasion to arise when someone will pick up a shift for you in return. You really should make time for something as important as lunch. What good will you be in the field if you get lightheaded or something from lack of sustenance?"
Elena chuckles, he has a point. "You know me, Kai, when have I ever been able to resist spending time in the ambulance?"
"Really," he gets serious. "They're using you and you bite into the bait every time."
She waves it off. "Nonsense. I've known Tyler since kindergarten. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't help him or any of you out occasionally? And besides, I have every intention of collecting when the time comes so don't worry your handsome little head about it okay?"
"Let's see if you're more than bluster," he rolls his eyes. "Come on, have a bite to eat with me. It's just lunch, Elena, it won't take that long and besides you need to put something in your belly before you dive right into another shift."
"Okay, Kai, you win," she grabs her bag. He's right after all, her stomach's been growling for hours already.
The Grill is crowded, although it's long past lunch time. Luckily, Matt's behind the bar and he points them to a reserved table in a corner that stays vacant for the staff and special customers.
"Some former students and infantile adults decided this is the place to be since it's raining," he explains, serving them their usual drinks. Wanna see a menu?"
"Thanks, Matt. It's really not necessary. I'll have the double bacon cheeseburger and another one of these," she finishes off her Coke Zero. "Kai?" she turns to her buddy.
"The same, add fries," he nods at Matt. They're not friends but he comes here often enough that they know each other. He's another of Elena's kindergarten classmates. Although she's never said anything to him, he senses that this one was in love with her at some point... And judging by the way he looks at her when she isn't aware, he suspects he still is?
Elena's an enigma. Everyone knows about the accident that claimed her parents, her struggle to pull herself back together, her dedication to what she does but no one knows what's really going on in her head? What does her private life look like…? He didn't know her back then but he does know that after the accident, she disappeared for a good amount of time and when she came back it was like she'd been reborn. Long forgotten was the broken girl everyone called her after the tragedy, in her place was a strong confident, capable young woman. She studied hard and became a paramedic, earning a job with the Mystic Falls Fire Department. She rose up the ranks, quickly becoming the most naturally gifted member of the team.
Their co-workers love her as do her patients. It happens more often than not that people show up at the station to thank her, thank their team for saving or doing everything she could for their dying loved ones. Always gracious, she thanks them but never fails to include the rest of their team.
The one night they spent together was everything he could have ever wished for - sexually. But it was more than that. Now knowing she's as beautiful inside as she is on the outside, he was the luckiest guy on the face of the earth for one incredible night. He envies the lucky son of a bitch who will someday have her heart, it kills inside that it won't be him but he can't and won't give up her friendship. As painful as the morning after was, he knows she didn't want to hurt him, promising that she didn't regret what happened between them. He's not sure why he doesn't feel offended... it is what it is. What she is. And if he has to walk through hell itself, he will make sure nothing comes between them, not even his possessiveness.
"Penny for your thoughts?" she disturbs his train of thought, placing her hand atop his and giving it a slight squeeze.
"You don't wanna know," he chuckles, stuffing a fry into his mouth.
Elena rewards him with a shiny smile, she won't pressure him just like he'd never pressure her. Suddenly her look freezes at something or someone behind his back, she lets out a whispered…"Jeremy…" so he turns around to look who it might be.
As if he could hear her silent scream, because that's what it was, an anguished scream, the well built tall guy she's looking at turns around and seems to freeze as well. Then he nods coldly and quickly leaves The Grill without so much as a backward glance.
Kai turns back to Elena who drops the rest of her burger on the plate. The color vanishes from her cheeks, pallor spreading from her face down to her neck. He has a feeling she's breaking inside even though she still sits frozen in her chair.
"Elena?"
It takes a few extra seconds before she's able to move. After giving him a glance, she pushes the plate away. "I'm not hungry anymore, I gotta go, I can't be late."
He quickly pays the bill then hurries outside. The way she hightailed it out of the place, he literally has to run to catch up with her.
He hates these family gatherings with the passion of ten thousand burning suns. The only way to survive he's discovered is a constant supply of the finest bourbon, one that luckily his dad can provide. He pours himself another while listening to his father and Stefan's edifying conversation about his brother's upcoming publication in one of the plastic surgery journals. They've been discussing it for years now. He wants to roll his eyes, or just run out of the room. As strong as the inclination is, he reins it in. He doesn't come to his parents' house that often so he should just sit quietly, nod and say yes and then he'll be done with it for another month.
"What do you think, Damon? Should I add the technical vocabulary for the general public?"
"Is It for them, are they your target audience or is it geared more for physicians and other professionals who subscribe to that periodical? If you want to publish a book at some point then yes, you'll have to use layman's terms."
Both, his father and brother look at him somewhat unsatisfied. And here we go…
"You know, Damon," his father starts, "I don't understand how you can be so shallow when it comes to your profession? You've got so many opportunities to set up research, you could have joined Stefan and…"
"Dad, don't start okay? We've been through this a million times already. I'm satisfied with what I do. I'm no slouch, trauma surgery is a full time job. It's always different, nothing's routine, quite unlike making some woman's boobs bigger…" When Stefan's eyes nearly pop out of his head, he raises his hands in surrender. He doesn't want to say anymore about how much he despises what his brother does, so he smiles and lifts his glass to the youngest Salvatore."
"Where's your ambition, son? You've always been too lazy to try to reach higher."
"Is that what you think? I didn't choose to specialize in emergency medicine and trauma surgery because I was too lazy to look for a more lucrative job. I'll have you know I get paid damn good and not just in money but the rewards of seeing my patient's walk out of the hospital in much better shape than when they came in. You have no idea how fulfilling it is to save a life."
"Dad, it's not like that," Stefan uncharacteristically takes his side. "Damon's one of the best…"
"How many publications has he released?" Giuseppe waves his younger son off, probably admiring his modesty.
In no mood to fight this battle today, Damon swallows what's left in his glass and then gets up slowly. "I'll leave it up to you two to save the world. I'm going to be on my way, I'm on call for the next 12 hours anyway."
Stefan measures him suspiciously, dad just nods, giving him a short glance.
On the way out, he stops in the kitchen to say goodbye to his mom as well. "I'm leaving," he gives her the obligatory kiss on the cheek and is surprised she strokes his shoulder affectionally. Since he returned to Mystic Falls a few years ago, his family dynamics have been strained to put it mildly. They never understood why he needed to leave the nest and why it took him so long to come home. He had fun in college but still managed to keep his grades up, otherwise he wouldn't have been accepted into med school. And they especially couldn't understand why he preferred to submerge himself in bloody work instead of going the academic route. Well, there's many things he doesn't understand about his family either. His Mom wasn't that disapproving, but she's used to taking what his dad says as gospel.
"Don't be a stranger. You know they don't mean it, they're just…,"
"Full of themselves?" Damon winks, awaiting her reaction.
"I think all of the Salvatore men are quite similar in that respect," she laughs and again, it feels genuine. Maybe spending time at the boarding house really isn't a complete waste of time?
"Odds are, you'd be right about that." On impulse, he gives her another kiss and takes his leave before something even weirder pops up.
As expected, a few hours later he finds himself in the trauma room barking out orders. There was a multi-vehicle pile up on the interstate just outside of Mystic Falls. Some victims were life flighted from the scene directly to Richmond, others here. The blare of the ambulance siren is unrelenting. Although his buzzer is constantly vibrating and patients keep coming, subconsciously his mind wanders to a certain dark-haired, soulful-eyed paramedic who might actually brighten his already frenzied day.
"Doctor Salvatore?"
"Cassie." His favorite nurse... At least she used to be. Always ready for some fun, she's made some of his long nights a little more bearable. Strangely though, her presence now is disappointing, unwanted even as he was expecting someone else...
"Dr. Parker is on the phone with the CT results," she hands him the phone.
"Thanks," Damon brushes her off and takes it, "Josh, what do you have for me?" After hanging it up, he collects himself and gives her a slight smile, it'll have to do, he can't muster up any genuine enthusiasm. He can see Cassie's caught off guard however there's not enough time for her to linger so she just nods, mumbles something about later and goes back to the patient.
His buzzer goes off again and he runs into another trauma room. "What's the story?"
"Pressure is 78/56. Pulse 130."
"She's in shock." Damon methodically begins to examine the older woman. "Insert an NG tube. Lavage her gut. Her belly is distended, we need to see if she's bleeding internally. Get radiology in here stat to do a chest X ray and get the cardiac monitor on her." Reaching over, he grabs an oxygen mask and carefully puts it on her bruised face. Unable to hear any lung sounds on her left side, he yells again for the chest x ray.
After looking over her chest film, Dr. Parker calls again, "It looks like she has a pneumothorax."
"Grab me a chest tube kit." Taking a scalpel in hand, he makes an incision in her left chest wall, inserts tube and attaches it to a drainage container. Immediately blood starts gushing into it.
"We need to get her to CT to get a picture of her head and also her neck so we can clear her C-spine and remove the collar. Was she conscious at the scene at all?"
"No, Dr. Salvatore," Sherie confirms.
"I need to intubate her. Get RT in here stat."
After finishing surgery on the older woman, he stops to throw some water on his face. He's about to retreat to the physicians lounge for a short nap when his pager goes off yet again. As soon as he walks through the ER doors, her familiar voice cuts over the bustle at the ER.
"He was impaled by a fence post." Damon can see the object poking out of the guy's middle and without hesitation, he hurries towards her, beating Meredith, who is heading in the same direction. "I got it, Mer..."
He's working even before he reaches the patient, an older man. "He lost control and crashed into a fence." Elena explains, holding the bottle of IV fluid as the gurney is quickly pushed into a just cleaned room. Damon's barking instructions at the staff. He would like nothing more than to share more than a hurried, "Hello Elena - hi doc" with her but the patient is crashing, falling into unconsciousness, freeing him from unimaginable pain. He needs emergency surgery stat. For the next hour, he and another surgeon work meticulously to remove the object and get the patient into recovery. Elena's long gone by the time he returns to the ED.
The patients just keep coming...
It was a very, very long day today. True, it was a double shift, which means long in its essence, but the horrific accident, dozens of people's lives in danger, some of them lost or changed forever made it feel like the course of a damn month. She can't think of them all but she can't not either. How many families are pacing the hospital halls waiting for update that may bring them salvation or damnation? How many already know and are crying, seeking solitude in their bedrooms? How many are praying or whispering a silent 'thank you' during the last shadows of the night? And she believes there are some making love with a renewed passion, holding their loved ones in embrace, feeling only love and happiness, grateful that the fate didn't point her finger at them today.
And then, under all of this is... Jeremy. Her brother whom she has not seen for years. He was just an awkward 15 year old when he spewed his venom, telling her she's not his sister and that he never wanted to lay eyes on her ever again. She can't blame him, she's never forgiven herself either. And if, the anger he felt, still feels is what keeps him going, then it's alright. She's glad she could help at least this indirectly. He stayed with their mom's sister, while she traveled to Iowa to live with their uncle's family. It was... therapeutic, but also lonely. It took a long time for her to collect herself enough to rise out of the darkness. She began to fight and learned to embrace the gift of life. It took her some time to decide what she wanted to do with herself. It would have been decidedly easier had fate not pulled such a cruel twist on them. She contemplated staying in Iowa but she felt such a longing to return, she owed it to her parents to face and conquer her demons.
Armed with a new paramedic's license from Virginia, she got a job with the Mystic Falls Fire Department, quickly becoming a valued member of the team. Her co-workers appreciate her diligence and work ethic but they don't always consider the stress she places on her self. She does her best to save her patients and if she can't, she tries to comfort them in their last minutes, assuring them that they're not alone.
It works, most of the time anyway, to mute the pain she felt about the long ago night. Surprisingly, her dedication helped her to start enjoying life again. She's not just doing this to honor her parents' memory, she's also doing this for herself. Before her world fell apart, she wanted to follow in her father's footsteps and become a doctor. She wanted to heal people, come up with some epic discovery to make people's lives better, that's all she ever dreamed about... until the night of the party.
She doesn't dream of that night because she has no recollection of it. That's the worst of it, she can't remember how it felt to be surrounded by water so her mind paints fantasies and nightmares. She doesn't remember her father's last words to her. She doesn't remember if her mother was just as angry with her. She has no idea why exactly they came to pick her up. Did she call them? She must have... Or did someone else? She doesn't remember why exactly she was being so difficult that...
Elena leans her head against the back of the armchair. Closing her eyes she tries to remember. Just one small detail. It might spark some glimpse or memory. Instead, her brain is quickly flooded by images of Jeremy, looking coldly at her, pointing at her, saying 'You killed my parents. You're not my sister.' She knows, he would have repeated the same thing if she had cornered him today at the Grill, trying to talk to him. He's tall, a big guy, just like their father was. His dark hair and eyes are their mother's, Elena's reminded of her look everyday in the mirror.
She gets up and helps herself to a drink. It's pointless to dwell on those memories. She knows she should let go and move on but she also knows she can't escape her past. She's just too tired tonight. She will rather face it with a bottle of Jack Daniels in her hand.
Moving to the window, she lets the fresh morning air waft in. She lets it blow her memories and regrets away from her conscious mind, forcing them in the background.
And then there's him.
The doctor who despite the limited time they've spent in the same room occupies her thoughts at every opportunity. She's sure he's a ladies man the way he carries himself confidently and the flashes of teeth he sports around the female staff. Yet, she can't deny his bedside manner. Many times she's witnessed how genuine he is in the way he cares for the patients that are entrusted to his abilities. She might be tempted to find more about who Doctor Salvatore really is, but the fact itself is a reason to be careful. To keep her distance.
She sighs and lays down on the couch to let in the images she'd been trying so hard to suppress.
Tonight, there's no place for her to hide.
"Elena!" she turns around to the now familiar voice, one she expects to hear every time she enters the hospital.
"Hey doc...," her greeting is always the same, she waits till he reaches her.
"Would you have time to grab some coffee?" he holds his breath, shockingly unsure if she'll accept or not. He doesn't do unsure, usually, but this girl is unfathomable. He has no idea if she's as attracted to him as he is to her. Whether he wants to or not, he can't deny that it's beginning to drive him crazy. It's not just that she's gorgeous or that she has the body of a goddess, the face of a nymph... it's none of that, it's the way she can brighten a room with the sheer force of her presence alone. Not only that, he's witnessed the way she brings out the best in people with kindness and understanding. It's patently obvious how much she cares about people. She's an angel making the world better just by being in it.
"Not here, of course," he adds when he can see a hint of hesitation. "Across the street we can get a decent one," he gestures nodding in the direction.
"Okay," she gives him a smile, if there are any doubts, she covers them well. "I can spare twenty minutes, I just need to let my partner know where I'll be in case we have to leave in a hurry."
Damon nods and quickly retreats to the doctor's lounge to change. He's back within seconds, catching a glimpse of her talking to a dark haired guy. He doesn't look happy, even sends him a distrustful look. Damon doesn't believe the nerve of that guy.
He shifts his focus back at her as she hurries over to him, her eyes bright, face determined. Is she just as excited to spend some real time with him as he is with her?
They find table in a corner, Elena facing the window so she can keep a close eye on the ambulance. They order their coffees, two mocha latte's with coconut milk and Damon takes the liberty to get them a piece of carrot cake to share. Elena shakes her head with an infectious laugh. "It was just supposed to be coffee. This," she nods to the cake, "really wasn't necessary but I must confess that I am hungry." For some reason it makes his day to watch her stick a forkful into her mouth.
Pity they don't have more time on this fine afternoon.
Another month, another visit. His dad is locked in his study, on the phone with a very important international call. After all, he works for the State Department, although it's part time now. Stefan and himself are helping their mom in the kitchen chatting about ordinary things. She seems to have a keen interest in their love lives. Stefan keeps saying that things with his current squeeze are in the beginning stage but when and if they start to get serious, he'll bring her to the mansion for a meal. Damon mentally rolls his eyes. From what he knows, Stefan's carefully cultivating a relationship with a ward sister, one who fascinates and scares the hell out of him at the same time. He must have stopped listening as Stefan's next comment, addressed to him, catches him of guard.
"I don't like that you're hanging around the ER when Elena's there."
"Excuse me?" Damon has no idea what to say to this insolence.
"I said, I don't like you hanging around Elena, she's not a girl for you."
"Hanging around in the ER? Do you even hear yourself? I'm a trauma surgeon, her job is to bring trauma's to the hospital. So please enlighten me, brother, how is what I do or who I talk to any of your business?"
"Elena Gilbert is not your usual kind of girl," he doesn't give up. "Besides, she's damaged, she doesn't deserve another..."
Damon's about to give him a piece of his mind or maybe a fist in front of his nose when their mother asserts herself, "Elena Gilbert? I like that girl. How is she doing?"
Stefan uses the interruption to back off, knowing he was way out of line. "I'm going to check to see if dad is done." He eyes Damon as he walks out of the kitchen.
What a little blister!
"She works at the hospital?" his mom's inquiring.
"No, she's a paramedic. Pops up occasionally with a case. She's nice," he adds carefully.
"That poor girl, she's been through so much. She lost almost everyone in that one night."
"Did you know them? The Gilberts?"
"Sure. They were our age, their kids the same as ours."
"She still has a brother, right?"
Lily sighs. "Not exactly. She left Mystic Falls shortly after she was well enough to leave the hospital. Some distant relatives took her in. Her brother went to live with Miranda's sister. He didn't want to be anywhere near where she was. He hasn't talked to her since the accident."
They're once again sitting at their favorite café, the one that's just down the street from the hospital. It's sort of become their thing, having coffee together, chatting, laughing and enjoying each other's company. Whenever they see each other in the ER and neither is in a hurry, which is not as often as Damon would like, they meet at Beans and Cream. Today, they make the effort to seek the opportunity. After she and Kai dropped a patient off, Elena stopped to say hi to him before leaving. Before she went back to work, they made plans to meet up when their shifts were over. Nothing unforeseeable popped up and here they are, sharing a piece of apple cake as they've done since the first time they were there.
Today, however, feels different. There's building tension and even anticipation between them, the air is cracking with energy. They're free for the rest of the day, to do whatever they want to... It's when his knee brushes against hers under the table and their eyes lock in an all knowing stare. He slips his fingers under hers and gives them a light squeeze.
"Would you like to...?"
"I would." She's smiling at him, her eyes shining, he can't quite believe she's offering him a ticket to heaven... just like that.
"My place or...?"
"Not mine."
No other explanation is provided and suddenly Damon starts wondering what her place looks like. He knows what a workaholic she is so it's not rocket science that she doesn't spend a lot of time there. Still his imagination start running wild thinking of what kind of place would suit her needs. Does she have pictures on the walls, ones that honor her loved ones? Is she fond of plants and flowers? Pets? Probably not, she's always at the fire station. Maybe a fish tank? What color is her kitchen?
"No problem," he assures her quickly. "I will gladly show you my kingdom."
She chuckles, out of breath and excited and he's happy she's not nervous or hesitant.
"One thing you must know," she becomes more serious and his eyes dart back to hers. "I... If we do this, it must be a one time thing. I can't give you more. Lets just... enjoy each other."
He should feel relieved, no strings attached. Just... sex and having a good time, that's how he likes it, isn't it? But for some reason it alarms him. What if he's taking advantage? Aware she's watching him closely, he must give her an out. "Are you sure about this? We don't have to..."
"I am," she reassures him. "Never wanted anyone in my life so badly."
The confession takes his breath away, leaves his head spinning..
"Then why are we still here?" He leaves a tip on their table and urges her forward with his palm on her lower back. He holds the door and walks her to his vehicle. With everything in him, he hopes she won't regret what they're about to do in the morning. Where did that come from?
The first rays of morning sun are sneaking through the curtains, finding him wide awake. Having her comfortable and nestled in his arms, her back to his chest, likely catching up some much needed rest, he wasn't able to fall asleep all night. He doesn't mind, far from it... Lying close to her, feeling her heart beating, breathing her in, their breaths synchronized, enjoying the warmth of her body flush against his, the amount of pleasure is beyond his ability to put into words. Watching her smile while she's sleeping triggers something unfamiliar inside.
One night and by the time dawn arrives, he feels like he wants to know her, all of her.
It's been hours of drawing circles, smoothing the soft skin of her hip, occasionally pressing wisps of kisses on her shoulder. He would gladly stay lost in this moment forever. Frankly, he welcomes the first signs of daylight. He's more than eager to wake her up and carry on exploring every shade of who the real Elena Gilbert is.
"You're hot," she mumbles half awake, trying to put some space between them, a light sheen of sweat pleasantly cooling her body with the whiff of the cool morning air.
He doesn't let her.
"Thank you," he chuckles, pressing his stubbled face against hers.
She giggles and it's the most joyful sound he's ever heard.
He wants more.
Elena turns to him lying on her back, initiating a long, deep, lazy kiss that tastes like heaven. Soon his palm traces the length of her fine form and she arches under his ministrations, unable to eschew the soft and louder noises that he can never get enough of. She pushes him on his back and takes over, her mouth following the path of her fingertips down his body.
She's generous... Damon finds himself making a mental inventory of Elena's traits that mirror themselves both at work and while love making. She's a giver, that's not a surprise, he knew that. He's staring at the ceiling, trying to distract himself from losing it on the spot. She takes pleasure in causing his. This woman is sexy as hell and at the same time there's something innocent, enchanting and curious about her. Her gentle touches are driving him crazy.
He turns them over to return the favor, watching closely as she takes pleasure from him too. She's not overthinking, it's instinctual, reacting to every subtle impulse he provides. She's adventurous. He feels like he could live every fantasy with her but strangely enough he can't think of anything that's missing, not anymore.
She's perfect as she is.
He gently presses her into the mattress, grunting at the cat like purr she lets out feeling the weight of his body. He's sure never have arms and legs wrapped around his body felt so satisfying. She holds onto him for dear life, her fingers clenching his shoulders as they move together. Never, ever has his chest felt so sensitive, every brush against her curves leaves imprints on his red-hot skin.
One last surge of their combined passion and they're spent, lying on his crumpled sheets. She goes willingly at his gentle prod to snuggle up to him, her arm and leg thrown over his form.
Can they just stay like this and never leave?
Who needs a job anyway?
A few hours later his bedroom's bathing in the sun, shouldn't the curtains at least attenuate the impact of the sharp light on his blurred vision? He can see her silhouette standing by the window, his mouth becoming dry when he realizes she's still in her birthday suit.
She's so beautiful.
"It's gorgeous view," she comments, her back facing him, she must have sensed his eyes on her.
"Yeah?" not sure how to react, his place is just a makeshift accommodation. It's a place to sleep and eat but most importantly to him anyway, is that it's a means to avoid living with his parents. It suits his needs just fine, at least until he decides whether or not he wants to stay in this hick town or pick up residence and take off to parts unknown. "Thanks, I guess. It's just temporary arrangement though. At some point I'll probably... move somewhere else." He doesn't add it might be several states away.
"It's good," she nods, gives him a warm smile and he's not sure if she still means his bachelor pad or the fact he'd be moving away. It doesn't make sense but it's not the right time to delve further into it either.
"Listen, I know we need to get ready for work, soon, but there's still a bit of time to share breakfast? I make a pretty mean Denver omelet..."
Her smile melts away and her eyes become wary. "No."
"No? I'll be quick I promise, you clearly have no idea what you're turning down...," his tone is still teasing although he's well aware the air has changed.
"Damon, no. I can't do that. I made it clear before we started that this," she motions between the two of them, "would have to be a one time thing. I don't do breakfasts and mornings after, I don't do relationships. I'm not that kind of girl and I thought you understood. Maybe welcomed it, actually?"
"Yeah, you told me," Damon responds carefully. "But it felt... right... Don't you feel it?" his eyes compel her to tell the truth. "Besides, you told me about the one night thing, you didn't exclude breakfast."
"You don't understand," she tries to avoid his penetrating gaze. "I'm not going to do this. We both agreed to it. So please, let it go. I just... can't."
She quickly collects her clothes and disappears in the bathroom. Not for long though. She's out before he can gather his wits. As soon as she reaches the doorframe, she pauses, turning around to give him one more look. "It's not personal so please, don't be angry. Or... you can be, if it helps you..." The soft click of the door echoes in his head as he tries to decipher his feelings.
Is he angry? Certainly not. Disappointed? Definitely. But he wouldn't be Damon Salvatore if he just gave up on this special woman, one he's not ready to lose. Because now he knows she can feel it too. He saw it in her eyes with that last broken look.
The whole day turns out to be nightmarish at best, horrific at worst. One patient after another pours into the emergency room, two of them in full arrest, a bus crash on the highway brought in several trauma patients and it's only mid afternoon. Damon's hardly had time to relieve himself let alone give Elena a thought. For a brief lull in an otherwise stormy day, she's there... Somehow he needs to convince her to give them a chance. There's a nagging feeling inside him that she'll put up a good fight, considering her over the top reaction about something as simple as having breakfast together. But if there's one thing he learned from his father, he's nothing if not persistent...
Finally the call he's been waiting for... "Thanks, Josh," Damon hangs up the phone and turns to his patient. "Your ankle is fractured in three places. I'm going consult an orthopedic surgeon. Dr. St John will take you to surgery, it looks like you're going to need some hardware," he explains. It's obvious that the man is in intense pain so he leaves the exam room and tells the nurse to give him some Morphine IV stat. Taking a swallow of his cold coffee, he glances at his watch, his shift ends in a few hours. When he sees the brown haired lab tech, his mind immediately drifts to her. Shaking his head, he retreats to the doctor's lounge to catch some sleep till the next trauma arrives.
Another week passes and he's hardly caught a glimpse of his charming paramedic. It takes a few days for him to realize that she's avoiding him. For some reason it never occurred to him that she could accomplish that considering their careers. He makes an effort, even goes so far as to seek out any opportunity to run into her but she must have ESP or some special skill, because she keeps slipping past him undetected. Logically he knows he should give her space but something inside... Honestly, he just misses her, their conversations over coffee... let alone their latest encounter...
"Excuse me, doctor?" A tall well built brown haired man with eyes now full of anxiety, a tiny girl in his arms stops him on his way out of the ER.
Damon looks at them, already tending to the girl's needs. "I'm Doctor Salvatore. What's wrong with the little one?"
"She's been feverish, nausea and vomiting for a couple of days. She's really lethargic and limp, I panicked, she's my baby girl. We've been giving her baby Ibuprofen and cool compresses but... she's getting worse."
"How old is she?" Damon asks and leads them into an exam room, hooking an arm for a nurse to follow.
"Eighteen months."
Taking the girl form her father, he lays her on the exam table. Listening to heart and lungs, feeling her loose skin turgor and the darkness under her eyes, he suspects she's severely dehydrated. "Bonnie, I need a CBC, BMP, Mg, Phos, UA and a set of blood cultures. Get an IV started, we need to give her some fluids." Bonnie nods, quickly calls a lab tech to draw blood and gathers what she needs to insert an IV in the baby." He observes how lost the young man appears.
"I'm Jeremy. Jeremy Gilbert. And this is my daughter Jess... My girlfriend Anna's on the way from work."
Damon doesn't stop examining the alarmingly weak toddler but it feels like there's an explosion in his mind. So this is Elena's brother... The one who doesn't talk to her. When the lab tech shows up, he and Jeremy step out of the room while her blood is being drawn, he doesn't want to see his daughter have to be poked and prodded.
Damon picks up a chart to check on another patient while waiting for the baby's labs. It's as if fate decided to interfere. At that very moment through his peripheral vision, he sees another patient being wheeled through the ambulance bay doors. Of course it's Elena, straddling the man's middle doing chest compressions, while shouting at the hospital staff to get them a room.
"A heart attack, male 67...," She trails off as she inevitably notices her brother's presence, eyes as wide as saucers.
"Go on?" Meredith's already on the case and one of the nurses takes over doing compressions for her. Elena dutifully reels off what she knows about the man and then backs out of the room to let the staff do their jobs. She's too pumped on adrenaline to retreat and hurries to Damon's side.
"What happened?" she breathes out and he can see how worried she is. He opens his mouth to instinctively reassure her but Jeremy cuts him off.
"Nothing that concerns you. Doctor, I don't want her here." His tone is so harsh and Elena winces, taking a step backwards as if he slapped her in the face. "I... I'm sorry..."
Damon would like nothing more than to tell Jeremy what he thinks about his execrable attitude, but he knows he can't do that. Before he can ask Elena to just wait for him by the nurse's desk, she's already gone, Damon squeezes his lips together, then uses his best professional mask and turns back to Jeremy. "You should go back to your daughter, I'll be in to talk to you as soon as I see her labs."
Jeremy nods and retreats.
Raking a hand through his sweaty hair, he searches for Bonnie, happy when she shows him the child's lab work. "Thanks Bonnie."
"No problem, Doctor Salvatore."
Damon pushes the curtain aside and steps in. "Your daughter's labs indicate a virus. She's dehydrated from the nausea, vomiting and fever. We're giving her some fluids and a Phenergan suppository. It should help with the nausea."
"Will she be alright?"
"She will be. With little children these things always looks scarier than they are. I don't expect any complications however, we'll keep her here for a few hours to give her the fluids. If she perks up, we'll send her home with a prescription, if not, I'll admit her and consult a pediatrician. We'll keep you informed." He moves his head in a short nod and turns away but Jeremy stops him.
"Thank you, Doctor Salvatore. I... need to explain, I don't want any information given to that paramedic."
"You mean your sister?" Damon can't help it, some of his hidden anger breaks through in his response. "I understand it's family matter, but you don't have to worry, we have privacy rules, I can't reveal anything to her or anyone else for that matter without your explicit consent."
Jeremy's face becomes colder. "She's not family."
"You're wrong... the thing about families, Mr. Gilbert, we can't choose them. And even if we don't agree with them or they anger us, they're still our family and they care whether we choose to see it or not."
How ironic is it to hear those words coming from his mouth?
Leaving Jeremy with his daughter, Damon dodges the ED traffic to get to the nurse's desk but Elena's nowhere in sight. Cursing under his breath, he eyes Meredith and approaches her. "Need some help?"
"Got it covered, thanks."
"The paramedic...?"
"Elena? I think she left," she replies without looking up.
Meredith's busy with her patient who seems to be doing better, he has a heart rhythm but is intubated and waiting for an ICU bed. Damon backs off to get out of the way. He suspects Elena would be happy to know that for now anyway, they pulled him back from death's door. What would she say? 'Today's a good day.' Although it isn't. Not for her.
He glances around one more time and is about to leave when he spots Josh Parker talking to one of the paramedics, he looks a lot like Elena's partner? Damon recalls the nasty look the guy graced him with while he was waiting for Elena the first time they had a coffee date. With no particular intention, he slowly moves closer when Josh notices and gives him a nod, beckoning him over.
"Damon, meet my son, Kai, he's a paramedic... Kai, Doctor Salvatore."
They observe each other warily, Damon processing this new information.
"Do you happen to know where Elena disappeared to? I thought you two left already...," he's not going to miss an opportunity, he's sure now she'll try to avoid him even more stubbornly than before.
Kai looks at his father, then decides to answer truthfully. "She's outside, said she needed a minute."
"Thanks," Damon nods gratefully, although he has no doubt Kai would rather have kept the information to himself. He waves at Josh and turns to go outside, hoping they won't have another emergency for a few minutes. Once he steps through the double doors, he looks around and almost immediately, he sees her standing under a tree next to the ambulance. He quickly closes the distance between them.
With her mind elsewhere, she doesn't notice him till he's standing next to her.
"Elena?" he speaks softly.
"Hey doc," she looks aside, quickly wiping her eyes so he won't see the tear tracks on her cheeks.
Damon mentally rolls his eyes. Yeah, they're back to 'hey doc'. After the phenomenal night they shared. But now is not the time to address the elephant in the room.
"She's going to be okay. Your niece. She's okay."
Elena sniffs, it's a sound of relief, he's sure. "You're not supposed to tell me."
It's not a question.
"No, but I'm choosing to tell you."
She gives him a small grateful smile and he just wants to take her in his arms and kiss her senseless.
"Come with me to our café later? I have two more hours, I can pick you up or wait for you...?"
"Damon...," she grimaces and he just knows she's going to say 'no'. "I..."
"Don't say no, alright? Give it a thought. I'm not going to pressure you into something you don't want. But we can still have coffee, right? And we can still talk. I miss that..." I miss you...
Elena studies his face for a minute, then shakes her head. "Okay. I have to finish my shift, I'll meet you here when I get off," she adds with a short hesitation.
Damon nods, squeezes her arm and quickly leaves before she changes her mind.
As much as he wants to comfort her, he doesn't turn around, the longing look in her eyes will be his undoing. He understands, he's very much aware that the place she's standing is only a short distance from her family. It's probably the closest she's been to them since their lives were tragically turned upside down.
The next two hours are the longest in his entire shift, hell in his entire week. With a calm that settled into the ED, well calm for those who work there, he no longer has patients to keep him busy, the result being that his mind keeps drifting to the girl in the parking lot. She's still mourning her family as if it was only yesterday that she lost them. He supposes that running into her brother, the one with the caustic attitude that clearly needs adjusting keeps the wounds raw.
Finally the clock strikes midnight and he's free to leave but not before stopping to see how Elena's niece is. He doesn't give a shit about what anyone else thinks, he's going to tell her that little Jessica is okay. A petite brunette is now in the room sitting beside Jeremy at their daughter's bedside. Damon has no intention of starting another conversation so he just gives them a quick update, assures them she's doing better and that Dr. Fell will discharge her later if appropriate.
As soon as he gets outside, his eyes land on the spot where Elena was standing earlier, sighing with relief that she's there. When she sees him coming closer, she walks forward to meet him halfway and then they turn towards the café once they're standing side by side.
"I wasn't too late, was I?"
Elena shakes her head 'no' but doesn't respond verbally.
Once they are seated at their corner table and after Damon places their order, he doesn't hesitate to take her hand in his, trying to catch her eyes.
"She's better, I checked before I came outside."
Elena nods, appreciating the information and gives him a sad smile. "Thanks. I know you're not supposed to... Just thank you. I'm glad you were there."
His cocky nature wants to burst with pride, she's glad he was there. She must look at him in a positive light at least he hopes so. "There's many good doctors and her case really wasn't difficult." Damon's not an arrogant man, it takes a team of dedicated professions working together to give their patients the best chance at survival.
"Still... I'm aware you're one of the best. Every time you receive one of my patient's, I feel better. And it's the same with other paramedics, we're not blind you know."
"Why didn't you become a doctor?" Damon takes the opportunity to ask something he's been curious about. It's a rather personal question but he'd like to know the answer...
She doesn't answer right away and he expects she'll tell him to go to hell... but then she surprises him yet again.
"I suppose my priorities changed. The fact I'm here and they aren't… It took me awhile to decide but when I did, I knew I wanted to do something to honor them, to thank them. They're the reason I'm still here."
He's stunned, she seems to be quite open. Maybe she does need to finally talk to someone? He'd feel honored to become her ear. He knows she doesn't seek reassurance and he won't give her an excuse to cut it off, so he just nods, watching her intently.
"I realized this is what I wanted to do. Save people's lives, give them another chance... what could be more satisfying? I mean, you, the doctors ultimately do the saving, keep them alive but we do our part too... we get them to the hospital in time to give them a fighting chance."
She looks... happy, when she's talking about what she decided to pursue in life. She believes it's the right thing for her. He's certain there's more to be said, about her, that evening, about her brother. She's still holding back. But it's a start and he's not going to screw it up.
They stay for another hour talking about everything and nothing, till she looks at her watch and realizes she should get home. He offers to give her a lift and she accepts.
"Just... drop me off at the station, my place is only a few minutes from there."
He doesn't try to change her mind, it'd be pointless. However, he savors the extra twenty minutes he gets to spend sharing her company.
"Thanks, Damon," is all she gives him, yet he feels like he just won the lottery.
He's got it bad.
To be continued...
We have a little more to write to finish part 2. It'll be posted when it's completed.
Story title from the Avantasia song of the same name.
We're anxious to hear your thoughts on this one. You're all the best, thank you for all of your support and encouragement and friendships.
Thank you Eva for another beautiful idea. Your muse is in a league all of her own.
WTTJ will update tomorrow or Thursday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARLOTTE!