Kadge Rose-Feather

2015

It's Just Glass

Jesse let his head roll back with a tumultuous groan as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. God, he loved basketball but sometimes it was just so fucking tiring. If it wasn't for the fact that it got him out of school sometimes, and like, Brandon, of course, he'd have quit long ago.

He supposed the smoking wasn't really a helpful or healthy factor in how he played, probably one of the reasons he was getting worn out so easily, but there was no way in hell he was cutting that out anytime soon.

He could stop if he wanted to, but that was the thing, he never really wanted to. Of course sometimes he went through periods of hating himself because of it, but what always helped even those out?

Right. Getting high again. This new shit Emilio had introduced him to was just too fucking good.

Honestly, he could understand why his parents had kicked him out.

He was grateful for having friends that shared, as they stood behind the school complex with a couple tokes burning in their young hands. He hadn't bothered to change out of his uniform, unlike Brandon, but the others had met them there and weren't even on the team. He felt slightly out of place in the eye-sore purple but was way too tired to bring himself to properly care.

The sun would be setting soon, and the air was crisp around them, but Jesse just felt sick. He couldn't stop thinking about his fucking parents, no matter how many times he kept repeating to himself that he didn't care what they thought, it just wouldn't sink in. The fucking guilt he felt at disappointing them was overwhelming. The pot was great, but his hands were shaky, and he wanted something more. He found it hard to focus on the next words out of his friend's mouth, but he forced himself to nonetheless.

"Where you been going lately, bro? We've barely been seeing any of you." Although Brandon's words seemed to carry for the whole group, it was the way he was eying him that made Jesse feel he was the main one who had a problem with it.

Skinny nodded along in agreement, though, with Combo giving a firm tilt of his head as if to say, yeah, man, what's up with that?

This wasn't helping him calm down any, being interrogated by the very people who were supposed to be his fucking friends, so his answer was snappy. He couldn't help feeling on edge.

"I've been with Emilio. You know, slinging shards, cooking crystal, making some fucking real cash." He gave a pointed look at Brandon before he continued. "None of this pussy shit."

Skinny was the one who reacted first, eyes wide as he took his friends words in.

"Wow, like, crystal? Man, I heard that shit'll fuck you up for life, bro. What are you doin' messin' around with someone like that?"

Combo quickly jumped on the 'let's criticize Jesse' bandwagon as well.

"Yeah man, like, we love you and all but Emilio is bad news, esse. I've heard his cousin has like, killed someone before."

Badger just stared at his feet awkwardly as he took another hit from the blunt. His hands weren't shaking; in fact he looked calm and impassive as ever. He looked chill, not even slightly pissed like Christian and Pete. But why did that piss Jesse off so fucking much?

He took a last drag from his own toke before stomping it out under his foot. Wasn't like it was doing enough for him anyway; especially with his so called 'friends' bringing him down so much. He hung out with them so that they could help him relax, not to make him more anxious than he already was.

"Whatever."

And with that he was trudging off sulkily, picking up his oversized jumper on the way across the soccer field.

There was no protest from Skinny or Combo, who only shrugged in response to his moodiness.

He was at the road when he heard footsteps behind him and he didn't have to turn around to know who it was. The sigh he let out was overly dramatic, but at the moment he just didn't care.

"What do you want, Brandon?"

His friend still didn't meet his eyes as he spoke, and Jesse was slightly surprised to see that he'd abandoned his toke as well.

"Nothing, man, it's just, like, I just-" He was fumbling with his words like crazy, which rubbed angrily against Jesse's already frayed nerves. "Is that why the 'rents kicked you out? Like, they found out about the… Glass?"

Jesse refrained from rolling his eyes back into the back of his skull. He didn't have time for this kind of sentimental bullshit and he did not want to talk about it. He crossed the road briskly and didn't stop in his stride there, but the other was hot on his heels and wouldn't let up.

"Like I know you're staying at your Aunt's and everything, but well… My parents are out of town for the weekend and my brother is totally cool, if you wanted to, like, crash or whatever. We could just chill."

It was different with Brandon; Jesse knew his friend wasn't as likely to push things with him right now about the all the Meth stuff as the others were. He just got it, more, it seemed. Even if he wasn't happy about it, he wasn't going to be going on some stupid lecture.

Jesse met his eyes for the first time intentionally that day.

"Yo, sure. Thanks."

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