A Bad Movie
Author's Note: The following song is a parody of "Bad" by Michael Jackson. Please note that throughout the song, there are times when the chorus would sing a counterpoint at the same time as Michael's line. To indicate this in writing, the counterpoints will be distinguished by parentheses and placed underneath the line the counterpoint pertains to.
One Sunday evening
On a cinema night
The movie started
They dimmed the lights
But it wasn't good
And that's a fact
Because it had no plot
And the actors can't act
#
Come on, come on,
It's lousy, all right
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There was no effort
It had no class
It was about as much fun
As eating shards of glass
It wasn't funny
It had ear-splitting sound
I hope Siskle and Ebert
Give it a million thumbs down
#
Well I don't like Jean-Claude Van Damme
Nor do I like Pamela Grier
But after just five minutes
I was literally bored to tears
#
Because it's bad, it's bad—come on
(It's really really bad)
You know it's bad, it's bad—you know it
(It's a piece of crap)
You know it's bad, it's bad—come on, you know
(I can't stand it any more)
And its score deserves a negative number
And I'll tell you why again
It's bad
#
The word is out
He's doin' wrong
I'll lock up Ewe Boll
Before too long
George Lucas sucks
And that's no lie
The Phantom Menace
Made the fans cry
I'm so sick you
M. Night Shyamalan
After one more twist
And I'll be gone
#
Someone fire the director
And hire a new screenwriter
This movie is such an abomination
Even Ed Wood can do better
#
Because it's bad, it's bad—come on
(Oh my God, I'm really bored)
You know it's bad, it's bad—you know it
(It shouldn't be in 3D)
You know it's bad, it's bad—you know it, you know
(It's nothin' like the book)
And I'll toss the DVD in the trash
(And I'll toss the DVD in the trash)
And I'll tell you why again
(And I'll tell you why again)
It's bad
#
If you heed the word of critics
It could be a better place
But if you admit to liking Gigli
Then I will slap your face
#
Because it's bad, it's bad—come on
(What the hell, it really sucks)
You know it's bad, it's bad—you know it
(It's a waste of celluloid)
You know it's bad, it's bad—you know it, you know
(Hollywood should be ashamed)
#
Boo! Boo! Boo!
(And Hollywood has to answer right now
What the hell were they thinkin'?)
You know it's bad, it's bad—come on
(The jokes are not funny)
You know it's bad, it's bad—you know it—you know it
(As fun as a kick in he nuts)
You know, you know, you know, come on
(It makes me really sick)
And Hollywood has to answer right now
(And Hollywood has to answer right now)
What the hell were they thinkin'?
(What the hell were they thinkin'?)
#
You know it's crap, it sucks. You know it
(It deserves a million Razzies)
You know it's bad, it's bad
(It's absolutely intolerable)
You know, you know, you know it, come on
(Please put me out of my misery)
It's not worth full-price or matinee
(It's not worth full-price or matinee)
Boo!
(Don't even think of renting it)
#
You know it's bad, it's bad—you know it
(Even my mom would hate it)
You know it's bad-you know—Boo!
(A five-year-old wrote the script)
You know it's bad-it's bad—you know it, you know
(Had the director lost his mind?)
And I'm never watching this schlock again
(And I'm never watching this schlock again)
And I'll tell you why again
(And I'll tell you why again)
It's bad!