(A/N): This is a song-fic one-shot dedicated to Doggie-luvs-HM, who asked me if I could write this for her. It's based on "Sorry" by The Jonas Brothers and it's unlike most song-fics in the sense that I don't write the lyrics line by line between the paragraphs of the story, insted the lyrics are woven INTO the dialogue. I write like this because it gives you an idea of where the idea COULD HAVE been inspired from while the composer was writing it. This story has no pairing, so you can decide for yourself what pairing it reminds you of.
Disclaimer: I don't own "Sorry", the Jonas Brothers, or anything else you may be able to claim. I only own the plot.
Sorry
The pain. The heartbreak. The sorrow. The only things I now focus on. The only things worth focusing on. Because I let her walkaway. Slowly, but surely, I let her slip through my fingers and walk out of my life..
It's hard knowing that I'm reason we're no longer together, that the blame solely rests upon my shoulders. That maybe if I had done something different, done something better, things would be okay. That maybe if I had done something different, she would still be in my arms.
"You're the only thing that keeps me alive and I'll always be here."
"I'll come down next weekend, just for you."
"We can make this work."
"I've never given up on us...I never will."
These are the lies I told myself, the lies I told her. These are the lies that I can never make up. These are the lies that I will never forget...because these are the lies that tore us apart...
"You're the only thing that keeps me alive and I'll always be here for you."
Walking towards her house that afternoon, I knew exactly what I wanted to tell her. So ringing her doorbell, I never expected to find out what I did.
"Hey is..." I said, as soon as the door opened, but automatically stopped once realizing that the guy at the front door didn't live here. Not knowing what to say, I began to try and figure out where she had disappeared to, "Um... have you see a girl about my age, a few inches..."
"Yeah she's upstairs." he replied, me, not hesitating for a second to sprint past him and up the her room. Opening her bedroom door and finding her on her bed, I continued, "Who's downstairs?"
"Oh...you saw him?"
"'Yeah I saw him. Who is that? Why is he here?"I questioned, prodding for as many answers as possible.
"I think you should sit down for a minute. We need to talk."
"Woah, woah, woah. Those words are never good. What's happening?"
"Please sit. Let me explain." she ushered, lightly pushing me onto her bed, only continuing after giving me a light kiss. "Babe, I'm moving. My dad was offered a new job and he had to take it and the guy downstairs just came to do an appraisal for how much it will cost to move all of this crap out of here and I don't want to leave but I have to and I..."
"Hey. You don't have to say another word. I understand. I just don't know why you didn't tell me sooner."
"I was afraid. I didn't know if you would want to stay with me."
"Come here." I said, calling her over to her bed, where she sat on my lap looking straight into my eyes, "You, my dear, are worth everything to me. You leaving will not change a thing, I will do whatever it takes to keep us together. Don't think that you're unimportant to me because you're the only thing that keeps me alive and I'll always be here for you. I love you beautiful, and that," I said, tapping my finger on her nose, "will never change."
Unfortunately it did, it spiraled into something I couldn't control. Her separation from me, killed me inside and out.I couldn't take it. The things important to you, are the events, people, things you believe in. Did I believe in her? One hundred percent, hands down. Did I believe in us? Without a doubt. Did I believe in myself? That answer, I don't even know...
"I'll come down next weekend, just for you."
"Hey, babe." I said the second her voice came on the other line.
"Hey..." she reply, in a saddened voice.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know. Something just doesn't feel right..."
"Talk to me. I'm here to listen."
"We haven't seen each other in months. And being here without you next to me makes me feel so alone. Like I have no one."
"You have me though. Absolutely and completely."
"'I know. It's just hard having them busy all the time. I spend every moment alone, without anyone."
"I wish I could do something. I feel so bad."
"'It's not your fault..." she replied, silence filling both sides of the phone, until she spoke about a minute later, "I have a question."
"What is it?"
"How can you still love me when you haven't seen me in so long?"
"'Because I hear your voice everyday and it makes me fall in love with you all over again."
"You're doing it again..."
"What am I doing?"
"Making me blush."
"You know every word I speak about you is true."
"Please stop..."
"Ok, I'll stop. I have an idea of how I can make you feel better though."
"What?"
"How would you like for me to drive down to see you?"
"I'd love it. I miss you so much."
"Ditto. But it's settled, I'll come down next weekend, just for you."
But I never came... I left her waiting, all alone. I forgot, I forgot about the only girl I ever loved. And now, thinking about it, I don't know how I could have forgotten her face, her eyes, her smile. How could I've forgotten? She was and is everything to me. It was that lie though the sent me even deeper, that sent her over the edge. It was that lie, that prevented her from trusting me ever again...
"We can make this work."
Sleeping at 8 o'clock on a Saturday morning, you never expect to get phone calls. Especially from someone in a time zone 3 hours behind yours.
"Hello?" I said, groggily.
"I need you to come open the door for me. I'll be there in 5." she said on the other line, sharply.
"What?"
"Get out of your bed and unlock the door."
"Could I get a please?" I replied, silence filling the other line. "Fine. See you in a minute."
Waiting downstairs for her after she called, started getting me thinking about why she would even fly 4 hours to come see me, after everything I had done. Deep in thought, the doorbell rang.
"Hey!" I said, opening the door, lifting my arms up for a hug.
"Hey..." she said, walking right past me to go sit on my couch.
"Ouch...what was that for?"
"You forgot, didn't you?"
"Forget what? What did I forget?" I said, my head running through things I was supposed to attend, nothing coming to mind.
"What's today?"
"The 8th of June..."
"Which means yesterday was??"
"Your graduation..."
"Oh, so you do remember?"
"Now..."
"Thanks for coming on the most important day of my life. I waited for you to come find me afterwards. Do you know what it's like when you have no family at graduation? When your best friend finds you as everyone's leaving and asks you want to come with them to dinner? And then, I say 'No.' because there's no way my boyfriend forgot about my graduation, that you're probably just late! And I wait there for hours and you never show, come to find out, YOU FORGOT! My parents don't care, and obviously, you don't either."
"No, I care. I really do."
"Then why weren't you there for me..." she replied, falling onto the couch in tears.
Wrapping her in my arms, I spoke, "I have no excuse, okay? I forgot."
"You forgot..." she said, looking into my eyes.
"Yeah, babe. I wish I was there to see you walk across that stage though. I'm sure you were gorgeous." I replied, wiping her bangs out from her eyes.
"I don't have any pictures..." she said back, bursting into more tears.
"Hey, hey, please don't cry, I already feel bad enough."
"As you should." she said, getting up and walking towards the door.
"Wait!" I yelled, causing her to turn around.
"It's never going to be the same. Is it?"
"It can be, just don't give up. Come here." I said opening my arms to hug her. After a few moments, she slowly walked towards me, wrapping her arms around me and crying into my shoulder. When her head raised from that spot, I lifted it to face my eyes, and with as much feeling and emotion I could, I told her, "We can make this work."
"You promise?"
"With all my heart." I said, bringing her into a kiss.
And once again, I let her down. I let her believe that I was going to make it work, that I wouldn't ever forget again. And I kept the facade going for a little while longer, it was as though it was back to when we first started dating, I flew down at least 3 times a month for days at a time just to spend time with her. I woke her up everyday so that I could be the first one to tell her "Good Morning". Along with calling her everyday, I wrote her long love letters explaining to her how much she meant to me. I tried to prove to her how much I loved her, but sometimes your head tells you to do things, even though your heart doesn't want to...
"I have never given up on us...I never will."
She moved a few blocks away from me a few months ago, making the opportunities to see her nearly endless. But endless opportunities don't necessarily mean you act upon them. I rarely saw her, unless she called up and asked to see me. It wasn't as though I didn't care, I just didn't think about it. My mind was too filled with my own selfish agenda...
A ring at my doorbell, caused me to pull my head out of the computer and towards the door. "Hey, hun." I said, as she walked through the door.
"Hey." she replied, giving me a hug.
"What's up?"
"Umm... something has been on my mind for a while and I think it's time we talk about."
"Sure, anything." I told her. I don't know what it was but around her I was the sweetest, nicest person, but without her in front of me, I forgot all about her.
Both of us moving to my couch, she sat down and began, "I thought when I moved here, it would give you more of an incentive to come visit me, but we've seen each other like, 5 times in the past 2 months and I live 5 minutes away."
"I know..."
"Would you happen to know why?"
"No, I don't know."
"Seriously, take some ownership. Do you want to see me? Are you seeing someone else? Are you still in love with me?"
"Yes, No, and Of course I do."
"Then why don't you prove it?"
"I don't know..."
"That answer isn't enough for me. I've wasted 3 years of my life with you and now thinking back on it, I have no idea why I stayed."
"Because you love me..."
"I don't think that's enough anymore though..."
"What are you saying?"
"I need a change. I need to see if you're really the guy for me."
"I'll be your change. I'll change. I promise."
"Please stop promising, your promises mean nothing to me after all of the broken ones."
"One more chance. I'll change."
"You know you'll never be the same. Stop acting like you'll be the same guy you were when I first fell in love with you when you know as well as I do that that's never going to happen."
"I can try though..."
"I'm sick of you trying. I waited for years watching you "try" and all it has done is hurt me. I can't do it anymore. I've given up." she then stood up from the couch and walked towards the door.
"Don't give up!" I said, calling after her.
"Why? You obviously gave up months ago. What's to prevent me from doing it now?"
"Because I don't want to lose you...please."
She started walking towards me slowly, and in my head I had won her over once more, she would still be mine. But as her hand began to reach towards my own, it snapped away, "I can't."
"This is the last time. I'm begging you to stay. One more chance and then I'll let you walk away."
"I can't stay anymore, now matter how badly I want to."
"Why?"
"You're not here for me. Can't you see that. Can't you tell that I'm hurt, that I'm in pain. This pain didn't just magically appear, it was formed, by you."
"I had no idea."
"I know you didn't. Just like how you don't know why you haven't been to my apartment or to anything else you've forgotten since we've been together."
"I just...please stay."
"It's too late. I can't do this anymore. Goodbye..." she finished, walking out the door and out of my life, causing me to collapse on the ground and cry.
My mind snapping back into the present, I automatically snapped my head up looking at the open door in front of me. The same door that had been open for hours and I cried even more into the carpet below.
She's gone.
And I had pushed her away. She was never coming back, thanks to me. I don't know if this makes any sense, but having lived so long with her voice, her touch, her personality, now that she was gone, I don't know how I'm supposed to live. It's strange to say but I don't think I can make it alive on my own, I think I need her just to breathe, just to survive.
Why did it take until she was gone for me to realize she's all I'd ever need? The pain jolting through my heart doesn't seem fair, I'm alone. Why did she do this to me? Why did I do that to her? Who was right? Of course she was, she was always right, she would always be right in my eyes, because perfection only comes around once in a lifetime and I had already found it and lost it, and I was only a teenager.
She left because you hurt her...
That sentence seared through my heart and at that exact moment I realized that she needs to be happy. Her happiness is more important than my own. I don't want to see us going our separate ways but the fact that she wasn't happy, hit me so hard that I knew I needed to give her time, give her space. Until she was happy, I wouldn't be...
After the first crash of the thunder outside, my head raised up again, finding her at my front door. She stood there just staring at me, crying, me, not believing she was here. And then she spoke, "You know what you need to say so that I'll be yours now and forever. Just say it."
"I don't know what you want me to say." I said, raising to my feet.
"You know what you need to say..."
Walking towards her drenched body I repeated, "I don't know what you want me to say."
"Just say two words and I'm yours." she said, walking towards me as well, opening her arms.
Opening mine to her too, I repeated "I don't know what you want me to say."
"Then, goodbye." she said, right as my arms were about to close around her, my arms going straight through the transparent body and me, collapsing to the ground once more.
"She's really gone...she's really gone..." I repeated to myself over and over rocking back and forth through my tears. She's never coming back. I lost her and she would never be found because I couldn't say the words I had never said to her over the years of our relationship, the words I couldn't build up the strength to say now, because I had never truly taken ownership of the situation at hand. And then, thinking back on the past, I knew what it was I needed to say...
Rushing out towards my car, through the pouring rain, I made the 5 minute journey to her house, the first one of it's kind since she had moved here and running up to her door I knocked on it at least 10 times before it opened; her hair a mess, mascara running from her gorgeous eyes, crying just as much as I was and she was the prettiest girl I had ever seen because I finally had realized what she meant to me, how much I loved her.
Staring down at my shoes, feeling as though I were a long lost puppy finding its way home, I heard her say, "Just say it..."
Looking up into her eyes, I slowly walked towards her, knowing that this time she was actually here, that this time she would be mine forever because I would never let her go. Placing my right hand upon her cheek to wipe her tears away, I looked right at her, as though I had never seen a more beautiful face in my life and uttered three simple words before she captured her lips with my own, "Beautiful, I'm sorry..."
A/N: There it is. I hope you all enjoyed it, maybe enough to leave a review. :-) haha. It would be great if you could go check out some of my other stories as well. (I have 4 other Hannah Montana stories and 1 Camp Rock story) Also, if anyone reading would like for me to write them a one-shot song fic for you, just leave me a comment on this, or any of my other stories or just send me a message and I'll reply ASAP. Thank you for reading and thanks for the support.