Collective Thoughts
This is a collection of four different stories I once had on here. They cannot necessarily go by themselves since they are not long enough to satisfy anyone. Also, I did accompany them with song lyrics, but I now realize those are not allowed. However, if you would like to listen to a song on your own while you read each part, then that is of your own accord. The first one was to Because of You by Kelly Clarkson, the second to Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day, the third to Slipped Away by Avril Lavigne, and the fourth to Time to Burn by The Rasmus.
Winry Rockbell sat down in her room and contemplated everything that has been going on for the past several years. She is now eighteen and she had known the two since before she can remember. Edward Elric and his brother, Alphonse Elric, were her best friends ever since the day they made her a doll using alchemy. It's because of alchemy and Ed's obsession with finding the mysterious stone that Winry is here now, thinking over things. He never seemed to notice all the times he had been back to have his arm fixed that she would stare at him. He never noticed all the times she hinted to him that she loved him. He never let her in on all the misery and mistakes for which he punished himself.
Winry went over to her small desk and opened it to reveal her photo album. She hadn't looked at this since the last time she saw him. It wasn't because she forgot about it. I was because she was afraid it would bring back painful memories. The memories of her childhood days always made her tear up inside.
She opened it up and the first picture that caught her eye was of him, the day before he went on the last mission he would ever have. She would never see him again afterward. This picture depicted her beloved smiling Edward, the joy coming through in his eyes. Oh, how she loved those eyes when they looked at her. Edward never came back home.
Winry allowed a few tears to escape the dam in her eyes. She wiped them away before they could create streaks on her face. When she had found out the bad news from Colonel Mustang a year ago, she couldn't believe it. He couldn't be dead. Al had come back from the mission alive, but Ed was not as fortunate. He was dead. He was…never coming back. The shock ran through her system and placed her in a passive state where no one could reach her where her mind withdrew. That was when she first heard the news. Looking back, she finds that state of mind is so very addictive in that doesn't let anyone get to where you are.
Winry closed the photo album with a sigh. Ed was so absorbed in getting Al's body back that he didn't realize he caused the people around hint to hurt on the inside. He let no one in and yet expected everyone to understand why he had to do what he did. Why couldn't he just let her in?
After loving Ed and then having him not return her feelings, Winry gave up on letting people in for a long time. One thing she learned from him was that you can't let anyone's mistakes become your own. Now she is empty inside due to her empty life without him. Never again will she see Edward, and so never again will she be the person she once was.
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The sky was a cloudy grey as rain poured down on the vacant streets of Central. A boy on was walking around aimlessly as he thought about everything. 'Why does everything happen to me? It feels like my life is a game to everyone around me; they think they can tell me to do whatever they want. I'm sick and tired of being a pawn. I miss you, Al. Why did you leave me?'
Al had been killed instantly when he jumped in between Envy's sword and his brother, whom Envy was aiming at. The blade had cut right through his blood seal. Ed remembered having several emotions threatening to overpower him, monstrous anger being the dominant. Ed had killed Envy with slashes of fury using his transmuted sword. Even though Envy was already dead, Ed just kept slashing away at his body, as if it would bring Al back and make things ok again. Nothing will ever bring him back.
Ed didn't care anymore about living. He didn't care that he was soaking wet or that he was catching the flu. He welcomed the dizziness as he fell to the ground, rain washing over him. He wanted it all to end. Roy's face flashed before his eyes and renewed anger overcame him. This was his entire fault. If Mustang hadn't felt that he and his brother should do his dirty work for him by fighting off the homunculi, then Al would still be alive. Al would still be there with Ed. Without him, his life was meaningless. His purpose in life was to live long enough to get Al's body back, but now that he was gone, there was nothing holding him back anymore.
Ed just now noticed that warm liquid was running down his face, mixing with the cold raindrops. He was unable to stop the crying. He didn't notice someone running towards him.
Roy was walking by where Ed lay. He saw him and immediately ran to his lifeless body. He checked to see that Ed was still alive, but he only felt a faint pulse. Ed's body was ice cold to Roy's touch,. He quickly took off his large coat and wrapped it around his small body. Picking the small boy up easily, Roy ran with him in his arms to his apartment.
Once Roy had the fifteen year old changed into warm dry clothes and put in his own bed, he sat down next to the young alchemist and looked him over. He knew why Ed was out in the rain. It was because Al died on the mission he himself sent the boys on and he felt guilty for it. It was completely his fault that Al died, so he was willing to take in the boy in front of him. He wanted Ed to have someone he could call a father figure. He wanted to be there for Ed and to help him with his suffering from the loss.
'You won't have to suffer anymore, Ed. I will be there for you so you never will have to be alone.'
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WINRY'S POV
I look around at the people gathered here today. Most are from the military, consisting of officers who what to pay their respects. The rest include friends, which Ed had made during his and Al's journey for that stupid stone, and our family. Everyone has a look of sadness; none of them are able to meet my eyes. Al is beside me, struggling to keep from crying as he watches the speaker talk about Ed. I feel the same as Al, wanting to cry, but no tears come. My sadness goes far deeper than that of crying my eyes out. I somehow know crying will not do anything to help the pain and anguish I fell inside of me, so it is useless to cry.
Ed left me that day with the promise of coming back with everything right again. He broke his promise. I knew this the moment I set eyes on Al's ten year old body, walking up to the house a few weeks later without his big brother at his side. My heart nearly stopped when I looked into Al's eyes. That look in his eyes told me that it was true. Ed was dead.
The speaker had finished and was asking if anyone would like to give a few words. I saw Roy Mustang walk to the center right next to the casket. I couldn't hear what he was saying as his mouth moved. My ears just sort of shut out all sound other than Al's muffled crying next to me. I saw Roy and everyone else look in our direction. I got the impression that he was saying something about us, but I didn't bother to try and listen to what he had to say. Al's crying only increased as he took hold of my waist with his small hands and hugged me. His tears were absorbed through the black material of my dress as he buried his head into my side.
The day after I had found out about Ed, I started feeling sick. I would get up in the morning and have the urge to vomit. The weird thing was I had a bigger appetite that normal the rest of the day. I thought it could be my body's way of handling the loss, but I soon realized I might be pregnant. I asked Grandma to take me to the doctor to see for sure what was behind all of my symptoms. She waited with me as the doctor came in and told me the results. My mind froze, but the realization hit me full force. I grabbed onto Grandma as my body shook with my sobs. She seemed to be thinking the same thing I was. Ed would never be able to be there for his child.
Only a select few know about me carrying Ed's child. Everyone else doesn't know that Ed and I bonded the night before he left me forever. Everyone went up to Al, Grandma, and me to give us their sympathy for our losses after Ed was put into the ground, not realizing the fact that he will never meet his child. They didn't know the amount of grief the now broken family would have for the rest of their days because of the little reminder growing inside me.
The moment Grandma and I came back home from the hospital, Al rushed out to give us a big hug. He didn't want us to disappear from his life like Ed did. I took his hand as I led him back inside. I had to tell him that I was carrying his nephew or niece. His eyes teared up as I told him. I could see the same realization come to him as it did me. He gently touched my stomach with his small hand and told me he would be there for me and the baby every step of the way. He was willing to do that for me and take his place as the uncle for this child. I realized then that Al had the same determination as Ed had, even though Ed had been seventeen.
As everyone left to go back to their everyday lives, Roy and Hughes stayed behind to make sure we were fine in getting back home. I nodded and hugged both of them. I had told them both the day before that I was pregnant and they handled the news well. They talked with us a little bit more before they too went back to their lives. Before Roy went, however, he gave me one last hug and gently patted my stomach as he told me he will personally take care of anything I needed for the baby. I thanked him and he left.
All I can do now is take care of this wonderful gift Ed gave me to remember him by. It will be hard, but everything will be fine. He will be able to watch and I from above and make sure no harm will come to us as he watches us grow. I will think about him every day, but when I sleep he will always be there telling me that everything will be fine.
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ED'S POV
There are things in this world that are better off not done, but circumstances have left me to do what I need to make things right. It is my duty to get Al's body back because of my foolishness of thinking I could bring our mom back to life. It seems I always screw stuff up. I hope my attempts at getting his body back will work, but so far they are failing miserably. I can't help but think I will never succeed, but I will go to the ends of the world searching for a way. I fear it will be a long time before that happens; the longer we wait, the harder it will be to give him back what I took from him.
I have friends who support me through the continuous quest of finding the answer, of course, but none of them care as deeply as Winry does. She has always there for Al and me when we need moral support. She cares about Al very much from what I can tell when I see her hug him. However, it seems like she cares for me a little differently: I've learned to notice things like that. When she looks me in the eyes I know I can always count on her to give me the strength to continue on my quest.
She takes my hand into hers as she guides me to an open window. We sit on the nearby couch and she says nothing as I stare out into darkness. I come out of my thoughts about Al when I feel her move closer to me. My heart beats a little faster.
I've dreamed of this moment ever since I first met her. My heart tells me I love this girl who gets closer to me with every second that goes by, but my mind tells me to push her away until I succeed at my goal. It is my body that wins this internal battle of wills and I gently cup her cheek with my hand. I move in to capture her lips with mine. She puts her arms around my neck as I wrap mine around her small waist. The kiss lasts for a few moments before the need to breath becomes important. I gently break away with my mind's will overtaking my body's want. I can't do this. My fears for her safety are taking over.
I can tell she knows what I am thinking and accepts the nonverbal truth. She knows that my number one priority is making sure Al has a second chance at a normal life and that I can't let my needs get in the way.
I tell myself that my happiness cannot get in the way of what I have set out to do. I make a promise to myself to come back to Winry as soon as I success. It will be then that we both will be happy.
As I set out with the means of finding the answers I seek with Al, I turn around one last time for what will be a very long time to say good-bye with a swift glance to my newly found heart's desire.