A Quiet Night at Home
By: DMEX
Nothing is mine
It was 7:30 late at night and Mai obviously had nowhere to be. So what does she do? Stay at home and just enjoy some peace and quiet. She'd already had beaten quite enough Duelists this past week. Most of them were trying to get with her, so to humor them; IF they won, she would falsely promise them a date with theirs truly.
So after she kicked their asses; most of them were saddened that they couldn't go out with a hot sexy blonde Duelist of Mai's caliber. Hell, she would try to go out with one of them, but she already has a special place in her heart for an idiot Duelist that she would never admit to liking.
And since Mai wanted the apartment to herself, why not enjoy some "me time" with a romance book, some sappy movie and to finish the night, a hot bath with some smooth jazz.
Mai pulls her hair into a bun and puts on her glasses. She normally wore contact lenses but she'd rather not let ANYONE know her dreadfully embarrassing secret, ESPECIALLY "him".
About a half hour into reading, she was interrupted by squirrel chatter and farting. "Stupid squirrels…!" Mai muttered. Then they started laughing drunkenly. This was starting to piss her off. Where does she find them? In the icebox, drinking white wine and tequila. And they were involved in a food smuggling scheme for the fat doxin wieners and fat beagles across the street.
She groaned angrily. "WHAT THE HEL ARE YOU DOING?" The little squirrels took a look at her, the fat one farted and both of them started laughing their little asses off. And what was more insulting? She realized she still had her glasses on and they were laughing about that.
"Oh my GAWD!" Mai screeched in embarrassment and ran away blushing in embarrassment. Of all the things to learn her dreadful secret, it had to be squirrels. After about an hour of Looney Tunes-like mayhem trying to get the little pests out of her apartment; she re-did her hair back into a bun and put her glasses back on.
Of course; she figured a movie might be better. And there is NO WAY IN HELL Mai was in the mood for a Lifetime Movie. Even if it was Pick-a-Flick. The last time she watched a Lifetime movie; to be honest, it sucked!
After some much needed channel surfing, Mai decided to watch A Gentle Voice, a recent movie that had been on TV lately. She sat through the whole movie. She even tried to hold back her tears during the ending where that beautiful girl forever lost her beautiful voice just to save her lover's life. In some sort of weird way, it reminded her of the hell and turmoil she went through as a child, but that's another story…
After one long tearful cry later, Mai was feeling a little better and decided to unwind and take a nice hot bath. But not before taking precautions AND hiding her glasses. To make sure the certain pests don't come back; she sealed to doors shut and the blind came down. Of course her being a woman, she didn't want some peeping tom seeing her- Well you get the idea…
It was just what she needed. A hot both, smooth jazz playing on the radio, and for the first time in her life; it was the most calming feeling she had. Little did she realize, she had an unwanted audience. A very gassy and little audience.
She heard a fart. At first Mai thought it was the frat boys after a long night of drunken mishaps and BBQ wings with "bumbling bouncing bitches" as she referred to the girls down at Strip Club; better known as "The Corner".
Then she heard another fart followed by a burp. Mai just went about her bath. So in about 20 minutes she finished up and decided to turn in.
But as for the squirrels…
Techno music is playing
Squirrel 1: Chatter (Check her out!)
Squirrel 2: Chatter (Damn! What a smoking' hot body she has!)
Fat Beagle: Barks (You're just looking at her boobs!)
Fat Doxin 1: Barks (I'M THE DOMINATE ONE! YOU PAY ATTENTION TO ME!)
Fat Doxin 2: Whines (Don't hurt me!)
The Squirrels fart and laugh until the first Doxin wiener eats them and then the first Doxin wiener starts having bad gas
Squirrel 1: Chatter (How fun!)
Squirrel 2: Chatter (Riot!)
END?