"Where? My dear man (are you a man? You mortals all look alike), you're nowhere! Nowhere at all!"
"...I KNOW! ISN'T IT DREADFUL?! Give me a lump of clay! Or a twig! You can do wonders with a twig, can't you Jim? ...Jim? There, see? What did I tell you? Gone again! He'll be back; he always comes back. Hold on a second... Did I tell YOU that, or you? It's so hard to tell sometimes. HA HA! TELL! I SAID IT AGAIN! I do so hate repeating myself, but I do it anyway."
"As far as I can tell, from one hobo to another, we're outside the inn on the shores of the sea. Not a lighthouse in sight; tsk tsk tsk. If you're ever in doubt, look for a lighthouse to sort yourself out. Ha ha! A rhyme! I haven't done that since I-Missed-Parsnips! (That was yesterday.)"
"A lady now? I was a lady once as well. And I could be again! 'Come to us Sheogorath, prince of madness...' Then POP! A sweet little girl standing there on the altar. It'd give them a jolt and no mistake. Actually, would you mind if I took away your skin? It won't hurt at all; except when it does. And quite a while after, or so I've been told."
"Oh, but there we are. I can't touch you, see. And you can't touch me. That's hardly fair. They had lovely fairs over in Mania. Or was it Dementia? I might have switched them around last time I stopped by."
"It all comes back to time. How long have I been here? How long have you been here? Did you ever come here to begin with? Perhaps I just cut off my arm and made it talk. I can't remember doing that before. Say, there's an idea! Suppose I let bits of m'self go and started changin' 'em! That'd give me somethin' to do; I might create a whole universe if I sneezed!"
"My accent? I must have picked it up on my travels! Not a single original thought in my head, but they're still mine. Everyone's mad; it's not their fault they can't see it."
"Who are you anyway? Ah, never mind; I don't care. It's very kind of you to sit there and let me say my piece. I could never be that nice to me."
"I do hope Haskill's getting along. I can hardly wait to replace him. Let's see now, when's his birthday... No that wasn't it, that was broccoli day. I do love broccoli day. Not as much as I used to, or half as much as cheese. If I killed you, do y' think you'd turn into cheese? I'd kill for some cheese! And I've probably done so already..."
"Going so soon? But we're only getting started! Come back again sometime; I promise I'll talk the right way 'round! ...wait, no I won't."