Brownies
A/N: This is meant as a joke so don't take it seriously.
John Doe was on the computer, browsing through myriads of "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" videos on youtube. On the walls of his room were posters of Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, posing together. On his computer table were multiple dolls of Twilight Sparkle, Rarity and Fluttershy, which he played with whenever he wasn't on the computer.
Dressed in a black shirt with a picture of Fluttershy smiling that proudly stated "Haters Gonna Hate" and his boxers, John continued to browse through the youtube videos. Today was special for John, as a grin crept onto his unshaved face. A deep chuckle echoed throughout his room.
"Fluttershy may be mah Waifu, but that doesn't make her an exception..." Said John, as he typed.
He just got done watching a video titled "Fluttershy- I said NO!" by a popular youtuber who regularly posts clips of "My Little Pony" for people to watch.
"'That's what she said before I pulled down my pants! Dohohohohoho!' That should do the trick..." Said John, as he clicked post on the comment box.
John then looked through the suggested videos on the right side of the screen. He didn't click on any Rarity videos because he already had his fun posting sexual comments on those videos yesterday. Today was Fluttershy's day! Yes, sweet sweet innocent little Fluttershy, he thought as he found another clip that would satisfy his rotten mind.
John clicked on the video to watch it. It was titled " Fluttershy- Yes, I'm desperate for it!" The video was about Fluttershy telling a vendor that she was desperate for the last cherry that he was selling. Of course, there's nothing really wrong and perverted with this clip, right?
"OHOHO! I hit jackpot!" Said John, as he began to type on his keyboard.
"'That's right Fluttershy, they don't call me BIG Macintosh for no reason, LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!' God, my comments are getting 20% cooler each day!" exclaimed John, as he now clicked on the post button.
After two more hours of searching through Fluttershy videos and posting disturbing comments, John decided to browse on Deviantart for some fan art. Just days ago, he was spreading the good word of "Love and tolerance" to non pony related pictures. John cracked a smile on his face when he saw seven feedback messages in his inbox.
"Holy crap, SEVEN people responded back to me! Usually, no one would ever respond. Perhaps, they finally accepted my love and tolerance for them," said John, as he clicked through the messages.
However, John's smile was wiped clean off of his face. Instead, he frowned and clenched his teeth. He felt his blood boiling and the adrenaline pumping through his body.
"Look here, brony scum, no one gives a crap about you and your ponies. They were fine and all until people like you ruined it for everyone with your spamming. Love and tolerate someplace else!"
"To be honest, it's people like 'brony4lifelolz' that piss me off. That's right, I'm talking to you! Yeah, we get it, ponies are great but seriously, get a life man!"
"To brony4lifelolz: learn how to form a proper sentence. 'OMG GUYZ, MLP IS GREAT LOL! U HATERZ SHOULD LOVE AND TOLERATE US MORE! KTHNXBAI! LOL!' is not necessary when my picture has nothing to do with ponies at all. The show is alright but I just don't see how you can obsess over it."
John's face turned red. He immediately began to type a response to this "hater." How dare he say something negative about the show? HOW DARE HE?
"U SEE? THIS IS WHY I WATCH MY LITTLE PONY! U R JUST A BIG JERK AND U NO NOTHING ABOUT FRIENDSHIP! LOL, C WUT I DID THAR? I SAID 'SHIP' AS IN SHIPPING! AHAHAHAHAHA BUT N E WAYS, I HATE U FOR HATING THE SHOW! I'LL GATHER MY BRONY HOMIES AND GIVE U A TASTE OF FRIENDSHIP WITH A CHAINSAW!"
John was satisfied with his response. He even typed it in captial letters to show how angry he was! That'll teach him to love and tolerate, John thought as he sent the response.
Out of nowhere, a bright white light flashed from behind John. He immediately turned around and shielded his eyes from the light. When the light faded, John's jaw dropped. He couldn't believe who were standing in front of him.
"Oh. My. God! I-it's the... the... MANE SIX! TWILIGHT, RARITY, FLUTTERSHY, RAINBOW DASH, PINKIE PIE! And uh, oh yeah... applejack..." Exclaimed John.
The six ponies glanced at each other. They began to whisper to each other and nodded while doing so. They then stopped and Twilight stepped forward.
"Hehe, sorry... It looks like we made the wrong stop... Uh, yeah we gotta go! Bye!" Said Twilight, as her horn began to shine with a magenta light. The other five ponies held onto her and they began to disappear into a white light. John immediately got up from his chair and rushed towards the light.
"NO! DON'T LEAVE ME! COME BACK!" Yelled John, as he was warped out of his room.
John Doe laid face down on the ground, groaning. He slowly got up and wiped his eyes. His body felt heavier than a block of lead and his head felt as if someone took a hammer and smashed it like a watermelon. John realized that he wasn't in his room. The dirt ground, the little houses, the bright, colorful ponies walking around, conversing with each other.
"Oh my god, I'm in PONYVILLE!" He yelled. John walked around Ponyville, looking for the mane six characters. He still couldn't believe it! They actually exist and he's in THEIR world, just like in his fantasies! The other ponies immediately hid in their homes as they saw John approaching them. However, John shrugged it off.
"Eh, I can care less about the background characters... Now, to find those other ponies."
After an hour of walking, he bumped into Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, who were riding on their scooter. Their eyes widened and they cowered down as they saw the strange human smiling at them, similar to how Twilight did when she tried to offer them her Smarty Pants doll.
"Hi girls..." said John.
The three fillies looked at each other and then back at John. Applebloom, being the brave filly that she was, responded back. "Uh, hey there..."
"What are you girls doing?"
This time, Scootaloo responded. "Uh, NOTHING!"
"Yeah... Nothing... hehe," said Applebloom.
"I. Really like. His mane?" Replied Sweetie Belle.
"AHA! Just like in the show! My life. Has gotten. 20% COOLER!" Exclaimed John, in front of the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
"Just wonderin', why do ya have a picture of Fluttershah on yer shirt?" Asked Applebloom.
John chuckled, "That's because Fluttershy is mah Waifu, duh!"
Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow, "'your what?'"
"Mah Waifu! You know, my wife!"
Scootaloo leaned close to Applebloom and Sweetie Belle, "This is getting REALLY creepy..."
"Yeah... Let's get outta here," said Applebloom.
"You said it!" Said Sweetie Belle.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders immediately got on their scooters and without another word, they left the scene, leaving John to stand by himself.
"Aww man... Oh well, love and tolerate! HAHAHAHA!" Said John, as he walked through Ponyville.
John found the library, where Twilight and Spike lived. He opened the door and walked in, only to find the purple unicorn sitting with her friends. They all stopped talking and stared at John.
"It's that weird guy again!" Exclaimed Rainbow Dash.
"Rainbow!" Exclaimed Twilight Sparkle, angrily.
Rainbow Dash shrugged, "What? He had pictures and toys of us! Tell me that's not creepy at all..."
"Well, that may be so, but that's rude to call people names," replied Twilight.
John closed the door behind him, "It's about time I finally got to meet you all!"
Rarity and Applejack exchanged glances at each other.
"And what is it that you want with us, dear?" Asked Rarity.
"I wanna LIVE with you IN HAPPINESS! I know all about you and Equestria!" Said John, happily.
Twilight Sparkle had a smile on her face, "REALLY? YOU KNOW ABOUT EQUESTRIA?"
"Yeah! I know all about it!"
Rainbow Dash then pushed Twilight aside and glared at John, "Oh really, now? Let's see how much you know then... Who rules Equestria?"
John scoffed at the cyan pegasus, "Uh duh! Trollestia! Although, I'm all for the New Luna Republic..."
The six ponies raised their eyebrows and once again, glanced at each other.
"Who did you say was the ruler?" Asked Twilight.
"Trollestia!"
"No... It's Princess Celestia, not this 'Trollestia' that you speak of. Next question, what are the Elements of Harmony?" Asked Twilight.
"Umm... No idea, I just watch you girls for your plots!" replied John.
"Our what, now?" Asked Applejack.
John began to giggle like an excited school girl and raised his eyebrows, "you know what I'm talking about..."
"No we don't..." Replied Applejack, with a frown on her face.
"And that's why no one likes you Applesmack, you're too slow to get it!" Said John, grinning.
"H-hey! That's... not nice! Apologize to Applejack! If you don't mind, that is," said Fluttershy.
"Fluttershy, being assertive? Bro hoof right here!" Said John, as he stuck out his fist for the pink and yellow pegasus to bump. Instead, Fluttershy hid behind Applejack.
"Yeah, not gonna happen..." Said Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie Pie fixated her eyes on John's shirt and giggled. She pointed to his shirt, "Why do you have a picture of Fluttershy on your shirt?"
"Because she's mah Waifu!"
"...Your what?"
"MY WIFE! GOD, DOESN'T ANYPONY KNOW THAT BY NOW?"
The six ponies glanced at each other one more time and they exploded in laughter. John looked at them with a blank expression on his face.
"What, what's so funny?" Asked John.
Rainbow Dash wiped a tear from her eyes, "Aww man, you're too much! Fluttershy's NOT married to you!"
John clenched his fists and frowned. His body shaking and his face turning red.
"Oh yeah? You're just jealous!"
"Of what?"
"Of the fact that you can't have her but I can! That's why you have Pinkie Pie as your girlfriend!" Retorted John.
Again, the ponies laughed hysterically.
"You... you think I'm in love with PINKIE PIE?" Asked Rainbow Dash.
She held her side, as she was overcome in a fit of laughter. Pinkie Pie shook her head and joined her.
"Oh, silly! Me and Dashie are just friends! Where did you get that idea from, anyways?" Asked Pinkie Pie.
John scoffed, "you two are just in denial!"
"You're crazy! And coming from me, that's saying something!" Replied Pinkie Pie.
John opened his mouth to speak but suddenly, the door behind him burst open. The Cutie Mark Crusaders rushed into the library.
"Applejack, there's this creepy guy out in Ponyville who's..."
"Oh my goodness, that's him!" Yelled Scootaloo.
Applejack immediately grabbed Applebloom and hid the young filly behind her.
"What did you do to mah sister and her friends?" Applejack asked.
John gulped, "uh, nothing!"
"Disrespecting us is one thing, but you disrespected the princess AND you messed with my Sweetie Belle! I'LL DESTROY YOU!" Yelled Rarity.
The six ponies then lunged at John and began to brawl within a giant cloud of smoke. The Cutie Mark Crusaders covered their eyes with their hooves. Then, John was launched out of the library by Applejack's kick.
"And that's what you get fer callin' me, Applesmack!"
John laid on the ground and groaned. He opened his eyes, only to meet a towering red stallion. John got up and looked at the stallion, who had a cutie mark of a green apple split in half. The red stallion simply stared at him.
"Aww, come on! Love and tolerate! Please?" Pleaded John.
"...Nope."
The red stallion gave him a powerful kick that launched John in the air. John was kicked so hard that he came back to Earth and came crashing through his roof, landing face first on the floor of his room. He got up and immediately began to boast on the internet about how he was in Ponyville and that he met the mane six but not a single flying feather was given that day.
The End.