Disclaimer: I own . . . nada, zilch, aka NOTHING. Except for Lycia, she is mine.
A/N:This is now separate to my other TF story "Submission, And Why It Ain't So Bad". "S,AWIASB" is now an AU to this AU. . . feel free to PM me for clarification.
Various extras for this story (which can be found on my profile page) include:
pictures, and FAN ART!! please go check it out!
Baricade's POV. Lyrics are from Breaking Benjamin's song "Breath". I think that song really fits them. Try listening to it while reading.
Prompt: Barricade/Mikaela Banes/beloved
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She was such a tiny little thing. Any wrong move, any misjudgment of strength, and he could crush her delicate body. Yet she was with him, she wasn't afraid.
It was so different, so much better that his old life. When he was a Decepticon, life was about pain, how much hurt could be doled out, even amongst themselves. Fighting was all he knew, then he met Mikaela . . . something about her had changed his entire life.
He had been filled with confusion and discord, but when Starscream captured Mikaela . . . he finally realized what his life had been missing.
But he remembered with morbid clarity those early days . . .
XX
I see nothing in your eyes
And the more I see the less I like
Is it over yet?
In my head
XX
"Barricade! We have a little guest come to visit us, why don't you show it to it's 'quarters'." the Decepticon Air Commander turned leader snarled, entering their current base of operations. He held tightly in his clawed hand a fleshy femme.
"Yes, Lord Starscream." said the smaller black and white mech, he grabbed the fleshy roughly, his claws scratching her.
"It will be your responsibility." the seeker turned and headed to his quarters.
Barricade dumped the fleshy unceremoniously in a cage, "Well, well . . . if it isn't Megatron's killer's little bitch." he smirked evilly at the femme, who crawled as far away from him as she could, her back pressed against the cold, steel bars of the cage.
"Don't worry . . . we're not going to hurt you . . . yet." He laughed darkly, motioning Frenzy over, ordering "Clean it up! It's filth disgusts me." He crouched, watching, waiting.
Frenzy slipped between the bars of the cage, sidling up to the fleshy. "N-no m-move fle-fleshy!" the girl fearfully complied while the little 'con looked her over, he chirped soothingly while bandaging her arms and torso. Then Frenzy slithered back between the bars, climbing up Barricade to sit on his shoulder.
"Sweet dreams flesh-bag." Barricade mocked, turning and leaving. Shutting the heavy door behind him, leaving Mikaela alone in the darkness.
"S-she hu-hurt bad, 'C-cade." Frenzy warbled as they walked a deserted hallway. "Why should I care?" Barricade snarled, angry at the world.
"U-used to pr-protect f-femmes, re-remember?" Frenzy reminded him "That was a long time ago, I no longer hold that position." Barricade growled, unhappy at having been reminded.
"S-she fe-femme too!" Frenzy protested.
"That is nothing more than a disgusting human, and you'd do well to remember it!" Barricade grabbed Frenzy off his shoulder and flung him, but the little 'Con rolled, taking no damage.
"O-oath la-last f-forever 'C-cade!" Frenzy said unhappily "Y-you f-forget?"
"No." Barricade growled, stalking away. Wanting to be left alone.
XX
I know nothing of your kind
And I won't reveal your evil mind
Is it over yet?
I can't win
XX
The days passed, the fleshy began to look worse and worse, though the long cuts she had, had healed. Barricade suspected that Frenzy had a hand in that. However, she grew thinner from lack of food and stress. But what did he know of humans?
Starscream was more often gone than not, out on patrol or looking for other surviving Decepticons. So Barricade took the opportunity to watch the fleshy. Today she sat, her legs pulled up to her chest, chin on her knees, sad eyes watching him as he openly stared.
"What do you want with me?" she half-whimpered, tear stains covered her face.
"Lord Starscream will deal with you flesh-bag." Barricade turned, leaving her alone again.
Alone so he didn't have to see the light leave her eyes.
XX
So sacrifice yourself
And let me have what's left
I know that I can find
The fire in your eyes
I'm going all the way
Get away, please
XX
"Barricade! Bring the fleshy!" Starscream was angry and needed something to take his frustration out on. "Of course, Lord Starscream." Barricade said tonelessly. He snatched the femme out of her cage, deposited her with Starcream then . . . left. Trying to block out the sound of her screams.
She underwent such torture at least once a week. Always coming back covered in bruises and blood. Frenzy would tend her, giving him reproachful looks all the while.
One day Mikaela came back in worse shape than usual, and Frenzy was furious "T-this c-can't ke-keep h-happening 'C-cade! Sh-she'll die!"
"Just . . . clean her up, Frenzy." Barricade turned, but he didn't miss the dead look in the human's eyes . . . or Frenzy's murmured "U-used to ca-care."
Frenzy and Mikaela almost missed his whispered "I can't care anymore . . ."
XX
You take the breath right out of me
You left a hole where my heart should be
You got to fight just to make it through
'Cause I will be the death of you
XX
Barricade was watching the little femme again. But his optics were unfocused, unseeing, as he remembered. Before he was a Decepticon, he had been a Guardian, a protector of femmes and their sparklings. He had made the decision to join the Decepticons, and his knowledge of the femmes had been used in Megatron's mass genocide. He had foolishly told all, and so lost everything.
All guardians had a spark connection to femmes, and he had felt every single one of their deaths. Had he been able to, right then he would have joined the Autobots, but once one joined Megatron, it was for life.
He remembered the feeling in his spark, feeling each femme raped, tortured and murdered. And he couldn't do one thing about it. When he'd finally got free, he ran to the no-fighting zone . . . where he collapsed among the mangled bodies.
It was all his fault, they should never have been murdered. But he couldn't get out, couldn't get free . . .
He'd sworn to protect femmes, but did the human count? He wasn't sure anymore, and didn't know what to make of his life . . .
XX
This will be all over soon
Pour the salt into the open wound
Is it over yet?
Let me in
XX
Barricade was alone in his room after another of Starscream's 'visits' with the femme, when Frenzy stalked in, a pissed look on his face. "'Cade y-you h-have t-to h-help her!"
"Why? What's the point? Everyone I've ever cared about has been killed, I can't anymore. I can't deal with the pain. Just leave me alone Frenzy." he felt . . . drained, empty. Why couldn't they leave him alone?
Frenzy shook his head sadly, "Y-you changed 'C-cade, Lycia w-would not ap-approve." he turned and left, leaving a shocked Barricade behind him.
Lycia . . . his especially favorite charge, she was beautiful, the color of mother-of-pearl and chrome, the sweetest little femme ever . . . Megatron had 'taken care of' her personally, and Barricade had died inside that day.
XX
So sacrifice yourself
And let me have what's left
I know that I can find
The fire in your eyes
I'm going all the way
Get away, please
XX
A few more weeks went by, Starscream now called for Mikaela almost daily. Her screams would permeate the base, until there was nowhere he could go to escape them.
But, he just couldn't bring himself to do anything, he couldn't move, couldn't breathe . . . the memories plagued him, he wished he could just forget, forget everything. Get out . . . escape . . .
XX
You take the breath right out of me
You left a hole where my heart should be
You got to fight just to make it through
'Cause I will be the death of you
XX
Starscream had left, allegedly to patrol. Barricade had found himself wandering into the brig. The little femme lay curled into a fetal position, her clothing soaked in blood. One arm twisted into an unnatural position. She whimpered in her sleep, exhausted and near starved to death . . .
Seeing her like that . . . it awoke something in him, something that had long lain dormant, he knew what he had to do now. He realized his purpose, he had a directive now.
XX
I'm waiting
I'm praying
Realize
Start hating
XX
Starscream in a bout of insanity had decided to 'play' with his 'pet'. Frenzy hurried to get Barricade, who was in his quarters, avoiding the seeker. "'C-CADE!!" he shrieked "H-hurry!"
"What's happening?" asked Barricade even as he ran to the command center. The sight that met his optics was one he'd never forget. Starscream had his claws wrapped around the femme's neck, her eyes finally showed emotion, fear. Barricade would never forget that look, it was a look of sheer terror, the same look Lycia had worn as Megatron killed her.
"Get your filthy claws off of her bastard." Barricade snarled, lowering into a feral crouch. "Well, well, has the little traitor finally come around? What's the matter Barricade? Feeling guilty?" Starscream mocked, sneering at him. His claws tightened, and then he released Mikaela, flinging her. She hit the wall with a sickening crunch and a scream of pain.
"NO!" Barricade leapt into action, rolling, he crouched protectively over the femme. "You stay away from her. You'll never hurt her again." his voice was dangerous, his optics burned with hatred.
And Starscream . . . Starscream laughed. He foolishly threw back his head and laughed, evilly, a chilling sound. But Barricade, Barricade transformed his hand into a cannon, he shot the seeker straight through the spark, once, twice.
A look of shock passed over Starscream's face before he collapsed with a crash.
XX
You take the breath right out of me
You left a hole where my heart should be
You got to fight just to make it through
'Cause I will be the death of you
XX
Barricade gathered Mikaela's mangled body up in his hands, he scanned her life systems. She was unconcious, her breathing shallow. A broken arm, a broken wrist, a wrenched neck, various cuts and bruises, sprained ankle, and a broken leg.
He walked outside, slowly, holding his hands still. Frenzy perched on his shoulder, emmiting worried chirps and beeps from his vocalizer.
Barricade activated his internal comlink and tenatively sent a private message. To the the only bot he knew might help, there were only three words and scrambled co-ordinates. Meet. Need Help.
XX
TO BE CONTINUED
xXXx
A/N: this was a really sad chapter for me. Did you like it? I'm not sure if it made sense . . . feel free to ask for clarification. Please review.