Hiya, Banjo fans of the world! This is mah first attempt at Fanfictionizationnessocity (a really big and fancy word my sister sort of came up with), so don't spare me the criticism! Flame me! Tell me about myself! Though constructive critiques would be preferable...

Whatever. Just read!

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"Kazooie? What are you doing over here?"

The bright orange breegull started at the honey bear's voice. She hadn't heard him approaching. "Oh, hi Banjo," she said with a hint of impatience in her voice, "I'm trying to think of a way we can move these boulders. Nothing, not even my grenade eggs will move them!"

Banjo looked up at the large pile of rocks blocking the tunnel into Jinjo Village and frowned. "Why do you want to go there?" he asked as he adjusted the sleeves of his suit jacket, which went very nicely with his yellow shorts, he thought.

"I'm sick of this dullness."

"Kazooie!" said Banjo reproachfully, "We just finished another great adventure! Can't you relax?"

"No. It always happens, Banjo. We start out all lazy, eventually get back in shape , kick Grunty's butt, then sit around bored with our lives, until we both start to sink back into a state of dull acceptance."

Banjo honestly didn't understand most of the words Kazooie used, but he got the gist. He scratched his head and tried to come up with a good retort. "uh–– but this is what all video game characters strive for–"

"What, BOREDOM?!" screeched the bird, shocking Banjo, "Didn't you notice how FAT you were before LOG came around? Let's just... i dunno, run around the old worlds! Y' know, just for old times sake! At least then we'll be in shape when Winkybuns comes back."

"Well... ok. But how are we going to move this mess?" he kicked lightly at the pile of rocks blocking the tunnel.

"I'm still working on that," she replied, with a hidden smirk. She knew she'd eventually get him to agree to an adventure. "Nothing seems to budge them. Grenade eggs don't work, and I doubt the Bill Drill would do much either."

Banjo thought about it. It looked like hard work, the way he scrunched his face up in concentration. Then, in the depths of his confused head, a light flickered into life. He grinned at Kazooie. "Did you keep that old wrench LOG gave you?"

In Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts, a strange deity named Lord of Games (LOG for short) who consisted of a computer screen that floated and wore a robe, came to Spiral Mountain and sought to settle the conflict between Gruntilda and Banjo. He bequeathed Kazooie with a magical wrench that allowed her to lift objects and build vehicles, which she used to great effect throughout the game.

"No, I tossed the thing out as soon as we got our powers back," she said haughtily, "Didn't I make it clear how much I hated using it?"

"Oh." Banjo's hopeful look of enlightenment died away. But then he got another idea. "I'll be right back!" and he ran back to the house.

Kazooie watched him and shook her head. She sometimes wondered why she put up with him. "But someone's gotta look after the ol' fool," she thought, "or else he might blow up the world."

Banjo came back, puffing and panting, and holding the mysterious wrench in his right hand. He stopped by the moat and waited to catch his breath. Already he was getting out of shape. Maybe some exercise would do him some good...

"We can build a vehicle with this!" he said triumphantly, "one that can break down the boulders!"

"Nope. I refuse to touch that rusty piece of junk," said the bird defiantly. She stuck her beak up in the air to emphasize the fact.

"Kazo–"

"No!"

"Oh... fine, I'll try it then." Banjo glared at her and held the wrench high in the air.

Nothing happened. No light, no noise (except the usual chirping of birds). Kazooie watched bemusedly. "Uh, Kazooie? How–"

"Maybe you should wave it," she suggested in spite of herself. She just wanted to see him stand there and make a fool of himself.

Banjo shrugged and tried it.

"Other way," said the bird, trying hard not to laugh at the look of supreme concentration on his furry face.

He tried it the other way.

"Maybe if you spin it around?"

Banjo was beginning to fell stupid, but he had no idea how Kazooie made the wrench work, so he was left to try her ideas. He twirled the tool in his paw, and it slipped. With a mighty electrical crack, it struck his head, letting off a shower of golden sparks. Banjo yelled in pain and fell backwards into the moat, the wrench flying out of his hand, fell into the soft earth and stuck there, still channeling electricity.

Kazooie burst out laughing and fell on the dirt. She rolled back and forth, screaming her lungs out in mirth. "OH WOW! YOU REALLY ARE STUPID!" she screeched through tears of pain, she as laughing so hard, "You actually fell for it! You–" and then she stopped. Banjo hadn't come back up from the moat. There were no sounds of a struggle or an attempt to climb out.

"Come on, Banjo," she said, though she wasn't laughing any more, "Stop messing around. I know you're there. I'm sorry, I'll show you how the wrench works."

No response. Kazooie began to feel worried. As much as the bear annoyed her, he was still her friend, and she didn't know what SHE would do without him. She crept closer to the moat and peered into it.

Banjo was on the bottom of the moat. He looked up, and tried to signal that he was drowning. Kazooie screeched and dove as far into the water as buoyancy would allow. She grabbed at his backpack with her talons and began to flap wildly. She cleared the water and managed to lift Banjo just high enough over the moat to deposit him on the dry ground.

He fell with a thud and rolled onto his back, coughing. The bird looked over him, worry in her eyes. "Banjo? You ok?"

The honey bear coughed some more, then looked blankly up at the breegull's face.

His lifelong companion looked back at him with a worried half smile. He blinked. "Me?"

"Yes, you!" she said with a weak laugh, "You're fine, right?"

"I... I guess so..." he scratched his head in confusion, "Thanks for saving me, miss... uh... who are you?"

Kazooie stared at him, beak agape. "it's me! Kazooie! Remember me? Plays the kazoo, mouths off to everyone? We've only been with each other for all our lives!"

Banjo shook his head. "I've never met you. Sorry." He looked around. "Where's this place?"

The breegull suddenly realized what had happened. "Banjo... you... you've lost your memory!"

"Have I?" He looked extremely worried about this news, "can you help me find it?"

Kazooie shook her head in frustrated annoyance. Even in this state he was as dull as a butter knife. "Well... I'll try," she said, "Come on. Let's go home and figure this out."

"Great!" he paused. "Where's home?"

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Oh Noes! Will Banjo ever remember anything? Will Kazooie forsake him and join the army? Will Pigs fly? To find out all this and maybe a little bit more, (minus the army and pigs) tune in next time, for another installment of "Kaz-who-ie?"!!!