Chapter 1: One Night With the King, The Wrong Night
Ursa looked up at the palace entrance with agitation. The words she and her older brother had just exchanged that morning rang in her ears as loudly as the sounds of the city behind her.
"You are making an awfully big sacrifice, wee one.", Cicero had said as he held tightly to her. "But you must not be afraid. I'll be nearby at all times. You will be safe if everything goes according to plan."
Cicero and Ursa had been taken away from their home in Brittania when Ursa had been born. On the way to the capital city, their father had been killed from a small outbreak of a fever. Their mother, still recovering from a difficult birth, died not long after from a broken spirit. Cicero, a fourteen year old with a great deal of spark and attitude, was then made the sole caretaker of his one year old sister. He had gained employment as a sword carrier for one of the captains of the legions where he was scarred permanently by a jealous rival for the position. Cicero lost all chance of true advancement because of it, but it didn't really matter to him after a few months. Seeing what it meant to be in power in Rome was enough to turn any man away from wanting a position in government of any kind. He had managed to house Ursa with him at all times. When the wars in Germania began, Ursa had been a young girl. She had accompanied him as he gained the position of manservant to one of the greatest warriors for the military, Maximus. Now, the two had come back to Rome to try and undo what Cicero saw as the greatest injustice on earth. The new emperor, Commodus, was the spoiled and rather violent son of the previous emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Cicero's former master, Maximus, had been killed so that the little devil could assume the throne. A few of the former soldiers and servants under Marcus had decided to end the travesty of Commodus's reign before he could do much damage. It had been only three months since his reign began and already things were all squiffy. The emperor had passed three edicts limiting freedoms of speech and education, he had brought many exotic treasures into the palace at the expense of the people, he had been given a small harem of concubines by a group of senators who then increased it to near 300 young girls and boys. Ursa found it hard to believe that such an insecure little man would engage in promiscuity and sodomy, but Cicero reminded her that men changed when they gained power. He also reminded her that she had seen firsthand how cruel the little brute could be when he had come to Germania at the order of his father. Ursa had witnessed him viciously attacking a young servant outside his tent one evening. Ursa had been too frightened to try and find out why, but she did manage to render aide to the poor girl after the prince was gone.
The plan was for Ursa to be given to Commodus as a concubine by senator Gracchus. Gracchus also wanted the horrors of the young man's potential to end as soon as possible. Ursa had been told once that the emperor's sister, Lucilla, was also in on the planning. It didn't sit right with Ursa that the group was out for blood. She hoped that she might be able to prove that the emperor was simply a frightened child striking out at the darkness that was frightening him. It wasn't right to kill someone. Cicero had told Ursa that Commodus had killed Marcus Aurelius, then ordered the death of Maximus, then ordered the death of Maximus's lovely family. That somehow didn't seem right to her either, but she dismissed it as being due to the fact she was only a naive little girl by comparison to all of the rest of the group. She had held onto him just as tightly. Ursa had never been away from her brother. She had never known a man, but she had never spent an evening alone either. She was cried profusely for a week before she was to be given to the emperor. Finally, on the day she was to be sent to the palace for Gracchus, she managed to quiet herself enough to look simply terribly upset and not like she was mourning for an entire world that she was losing.
"I don't know if I can do this, Cicero.", she whispered.
"Of course you can, Ursa. I belive in you above all others. You're more cunning than you think.", he reassured. "Now, you must remember the protocol lessons from the past month. Being so new, you won't be called in to the emperor for a while. That is in your favour. Once things are settled and he calls for you, feign illness or the time of women and he will gladly leave you alone."
"I can't give muself to him!", she wailed. "I don't love him! I want to be married and have a family!"
"You will, little bear!", he quieted. He squeezed her and stroked her head softly. "This is only for a little while. We simply need you to be our eyes and ears in this matter. The emperor won't speak freely with his spies or Falco in the presence of Gracchus or his sister. You will have to be our spy in their place."
She whimpered and clutched his tunic like it would protect her from all evils. "I don't want to do this, Cicero.", she breathed.
"I know, but we've all made every sacrifice we can. No one else can do this. You are the youngest and most capable.", Cicero stated and then stood away from her a little, looking down into her eyes with a smile. "Besides, you're also the prettiest. The emperor wouldn't confide in any of the men of our coalition."
She laughed a little at the thought of that. Cicero reached down and kissed his sister's head. He handed her the small satchel that held her clothing, a few small scrolls of her favourite stories and poems, the necklace she had inherited from her mother, the ring she had been given by Maximus, and the earrings that she had purchased herself one year. She said goodbye to him one last time with the reassurance that he would stay as near to the palace as possible. Now she stood waiting for Gracchus to come and fetch her. A new chapter was about to begin for her. She didn't know whether she would enjoy any of the passages that were to come within it, but she knew she had to do this for her brother and the people she loved. Ursa had many friends in the military and among the other servants that knew her brother, but none near her age. She was always the youngest, the smallest, and the most naive. This ordeal seemed overwhelming and truly frightening. She breathed a slight sigh of relief and felt her heart leap in terror at the same time as senator Gracchus appeared and motioned for her to follow him.
"Are you ready?", he asked softly. She nodded quietly as he looked her over. "Good. You look like you've been pining."
"I'm alright. How do we begin this?", she asked.
"Well, you're in luck. The emperor is meeting with several aristorats from his birthplace this afternoon. His sister, Lucilla, will take you to the quarters used for the concubines. Until you've been properly interviewed by Laetus, the keeper, you won't be sent for. With Lucilla's approval, though, you cannot be denied a position.", Gracchus explained. "During the day you have free run of those quarters and those alone. It would be most unsafe for a young girl like you to simply wander around the palace. You could visit the gardens if you like, but do not go there alone. Be in your quarters before the sun goes down. All of your meals will be eaten with the others unless the emperor requests you join him. I don't forsee that happening."
"Will I ever be made to see him?", she asked timidly.
"In a week or two, perhaps. Laetus will not be returning from a visit to Sardinia until a week from tomorrow. The emperor will not send for someone new like you until he has given approval. It's just not done.", Gracchus assured. "You will be allowed to visit with your brother and I once a week. Until then,", he said handing her a bundle of parchment, "...you will need to keep records of what you see and hear. Keep them hidden for everyone's sake."
"How am I to do that if I stay away from the emperor and the rest of the palace?", she asked in confusion.
"After a week, you will be able to walk freely around the rest of the palace. You will have the best luck in finding out what we need late in the evening at the eastern varanda. That is where the emperor has been meeting with Falco.", Gracchus said smiling.
"Why did I come here this week instead of waiting until Laetus returns?", she asked as the rounded a corner and headed towards Lucilla's chambers.
"To get you settled without the pressure of being on call for him.", Gracchus explained. "Cicero has told us repeatedly that you are a tender young girl. I intend to protect that as much as possible."
As they reached the doors to Lucilla's chambers, Ursa felt relief washing over her. Perhaps this would be a little easier than she thought. She wasn't even going to be sharing quarters with the emperor. She might not even have to see him more than once. She felt nervous around new people and figures of authority no matter what the occasion. Gracchus reached for the doorhandle. The door suddenly burst open. Ursa felt all of the blood in her body evaporate at seeing the person in front of her.
"Senator Gracchus?", the emperor said looking at him and then the young girl beside him. "What are you doing here?"
"Presenting this young girl to Lucilla, sire.", he explained and bowed slightly. Ursa tried to keep her gaze turned downward. The emperor kept trying to look directly into her eyes, but Ursa continued to look away. He smiled a little, thinking that she was playing some sort of coquettish game with him.
"Why on earth do you need to do that? Is she a new servant?", he asked.
"No, sire.", Gracchus said simply. Commodus moved Gracchus to the left slightly to get a better look at Ursa.
"Nursemaid, then?", he asked moving a little closer to the girl. Ursa stepped back and looked down.
"No, sire.", Gracchus said firmly. He hadn't anticipated this at all. He kicked himself for not being better prepared for such an encounter.
"Then why do you need to present her to my sister?", Commodus said as he began to walk behind Ursa. "Surely she's not a relative I haven't been introduced to yet."
"No, sire. She is a candidate for the concubines.", Gracchus replied taking Ursa by the hand and pulling her close to him. Commodus lit up a little.
"Truly?", he asked in excitement. Ursa looked up at Gracchus in a mixture of terror and anger. "But Laetus isn't here to put her on the list and giver her a proper place."
"That is why we need to speak to Lucilla, sire. This young girl is a gift from me and has nowhere else to go at the moment. I know that the lady will make an exception and take her in to wait for Laetus.", Gracchus explained pulling Ursa all the closer as the emperor reached out for her hair. Commodus stood back a little, realizing that Gracchus would prefer for him to wait for a proper introduction to the girl. "If you will allow us through sire, the girl is tired from a long journey. She is from Brittania and I have been acquainted with her family for years."
"That's nice, senator. Alert me when Laetus returns.", he said smiling wickedly as he turned and left. Ursa turned and glared at Gracchus.
"You told me that I wouldn't have to see him until a week from tomorrow!", she protested in a whisper.
"Unfortunately, little girl, I do not have a leash to keep Caesar from wandering wherever he wants. He seems to find comfort with Lucilla alone, so he must have had a very poor visit with the aristocrats from Lanuvium. That was an unexpected nuissance, but it is over. Perhaps he will forget about you.", Gracchus offered. "But at least you know that he will not reject you."
"Why should that be a concern?", she asked as they knocked on the door.
"If the emperor rejects a concubine, then the senators are allowed to take her whenever they desire; as are the Praetorians. You truly do not want that, trust me.", he warned. Ursa gulped. She hadn't been told this. All relief and comfort was now gone. This was going to be much more difficult than she had expected. Lucilla opened the door and hurried the two inside. Ursa felt some small sense of belonging in the chambers of another woman. Ursa herself was only seventeen, but the presence of another female made her life that much easier. Ursa had, after all, been raised in a predominantly male environment. It was a true mystery as to how she had become so feminine and timid being raised around soldiers and menservants.
"Is this her?", Lucilla asked. She looked at Ursa skeptically. "She's awfully young. She still looks innocent. Are you sure she knows enough about protocol to complete this task?"
"There is no one else to attempt it, my lady. Do you wish to abandon the plan altogether and try to spy on Falco yourself?", Gracchus said sarcastically. Lucilla glared at him. "This is Ursa of the house of Cicero. Ursa, this is Lucilla daughter of Marcus Aurelius."
"She's not much, Gracchus. I'm almost afraid for her.", Lucilla said circling Ursa slowly. "Still, she seems unassuming. My brother will find that refreshing if he chooses to notice her. Yes, I think this might work to our advantage more than we anticipate."
"Good then. You can show her to her quarters and I can get back to the affairs of the senate.", Gracchus said. Lucilla nodded to him. He looked down at Ursa and took her hand. "Don't be afraid. If something should go wrong, scream for your brother or myself. Do you understand?"
She nodded. Gracchus nodded to both women and left quickly. Lucilla looked down at Ursa in slight disappointment once more. She sighed and motioned for the girl to follow her.
Ursa settled into the tiny room she had been given as best as she could. Most of the concubines all shared one room, but Lucilla had announced that Ursa was to be shown favour since she had pleased Lucilla. The truth of this being that Lucilla did not want to risk any of the others finding out about the plans the small rebellion was making becasue Ursa would have been too naive and careless to hide what she was doing and writing. Lucilla had little faith in anyone below her station, and this applied significantly to poor Ursa. Ursa had initially hoped to have at least a friend in Lucilla that she could call on at a moment's notice. This was definitely out of the question. She sighed and tried to concentrate on reading one of her scrolls and nothing else. Her heart was racing and her mind was spinning. She had no appetite for the rest of the evening, either. As the sun began to set, Ursa gave several prayers of thanks that the emperor had not sent for her. While it would be against protocol for him to do so, now that he had seen her and at least new what she was, he would be well within his unlimited rights as emperor to demand her presence. Ursa began to feel more relaxed than she had in days as the last rays of the sun melted into the horizon. Her expression and mindset dropped when a guard appeared at her doorway and demanded she follow him.
Commodus hadn't been able to shake the image of the young girl from his mind all day. Not at parctice with the other recruits, not at a meeting of the senate, not at the bath, and not even at supper. It was frustrating and wonderful at the same time. He wished he had demanded to know her name, at least then he would have a title other than 'new girl among the concubines' to place with her if he needed to call on her. The day had been miserable. He had twisted and cut his left arm severely in training, he had been chided more than usual by the hateful old men in the senate, the bath had been too hot and burned into the cut on his arm, and supper was not impressive at all. Sometimes he wondered fervently if it would be worth it to disappear into the artists quarter for a while and let Lucilla have the crown until he returned. He knew all too well that if he attempted to do so, then he would never see his throne again and would probably be assassinated in the process. There had been several attempts made on his life since he had come to be eight years of age. He sighed and had decided as he was reitiring to his quarters to have the girl brought to him that evening. She was weighing on his mind like a sharp edged boulder. He could think of nothing better to purge her from his system then spending a night with her. Perhaps he might even take a little joy in her company and find a future companion for nights like this one or worse. He sent one of the Praetorians into the concubines' chambers to find the 'new girl' and bring her to him. He emphasized that the young girl was indeed very young. She had very dark hair, much like her brother, and deep green eyes that glinted blue in the right lighting. He sighed at the thought of this and began removing his armour. The door opened a moment later and the girl was shoved into the chamber. He turned and got a better look at her than he had been priveleged to aforehand. She looked up at him for a moment and then looked down. He smiled slightly, amused that she was still trying to be coy with him. He removed all unnecessary accessories to his attire. Even the crown that marked his authority was placed on the nightstand for the time being. Still wearing a fine, but more simple, tunic; he walked over to her slowly and put one hand on each of her arms. She tensed at this and looked away.
"You needn't be shy, now. I rather enjoyed seeing you earlier. I'd like to see more of you.", he said softly. Ursa felt her stomach turn and her skin freeze. She tried to find the words that her brother had suggested. All she would have to say was, 'I feel faint, sire' and drop to her knees, or 'I am at the time of my girlhood, sire' and again drop to her knees to make him back away and not touch her for quite a while. Her voice was caught somewhere within her and seemed to be hiding from both him and her. She trembled and opened her mouth slightly hoping that the words would form and slip out easily. He looked at her quivering chin and lips. He was tired of seeing the exotic and well-trained concubines that were gifts from the rest of the senators. This girl was indeed lovely and sweet. Gracchus kept company with only virtuous people, so it stood to reason that the only concubine he could offer would be of the highest and rarest quality. He would have to thank him in person tomorrow. He leaned down and kissed her passionately. Ursa froze. His presence was not unpleasant, but it was unexpected which made it very unwelcome at the moment. She remained still as he lingered for a moment. She smelled like fresh jasmine. Her body seemed to pulse with heat that wafted against him every few seconds. It was ecstasy. He looked down into her eyes and reached for her hair. Ursa found the strength to step back a little. He moved behind her and placed his arms around her waist, nuzzling the back of her neck as a lover. This was extremely unusual. Most men in power, emperor or otherwise, had a very specific agenda to fill when they came in to a woman. The goal could be completed in a matter of minutes and the man could get back to business quickly. Commodus found himself wanting to savour the entire night he had requested with her if that was possible. He wanted to make love to her, not simply ravage her. He turned her to face him and looked at her hungrily. It seemed strange to him that there was a glint of fear in her timid eyes, but he dismissed this as being something taught to her. The person that had given her to Gracchus had apparently emphasized to her that she behave as innocently as possible. It was unusual for him and delightful. He moaned sofly and kissed her again. Ursa found another wave of strength and bravery, and managed to pull away after a moment. She was growing tired of playing, he realized. There was only so much waiting a female could do if they had been trained correctly. He reached down and untied the cord that served as a sash for him. Ursa noted this and took a step back. He smiled and removed the tunic in one sweep. All that was left to keep him covered were the underclothes that all men in the palace wore. Ursa gasped and fell backwards onto one of the nearby couches. Her voice was now hidden more than ever. She fought madly within herself to grab hold of it and shout at him, but it seemed to have all but disappeared. He smiled and leaned over her taking hold of the simple gown that she wore by the shoulders. It suddenly clicked in her mind that this was her last chance to defend that which she held dear. Tears began streaming down her face and her voice broke free.
"Cicero! Cicero!", she cried. Commodus froze and stared at her blankly. "Gracchus!", she cried louder. He stumbled backwards a little, still staring at her. She continued crying both of the names and adding words like 'help me' and 'please save me'. He stared at her deeply for a moment. She wasn't toying with him. She hadn't been toying with him all evening. He had misinterpreted every look on her face and every move she had made in front of him. She was innocent. What was wrong with Gracchus? How could he do this to a young girl? Making love to a royal was traumatic for a woman enough, but add to that the pressure of giving her youth to him! That was uncalled for! He would have to thoroughly chastise the old fool in the morning. In the meantime, he would have to do something to calm this girl. Upsets to young women when their honour came into question could cause their very heart to fail, or so he had heard. He hurried to his door and demanded that the nearest guard fetch Galen, the physician and have him bring supplies for a frenzied woman. The guard said nothing and headed out towards Galen's quarters. Commodus quickly pulled his tunic back on and took the folded blanket off of the foot of the bed. While it was most irritating to have been denied physical fulfilment this night, the sound of a woman crying always made him feel terribly sad and almost guilty. Remnants of the guilt he felt for his mother's death haunted him with each tear and wail that she gave. He put the blanket around her and went to stand by the door. He felt it best not to touch her or go near her until Galen was finished. Galen arrived a moment after the emperor began to pace in front of the door. Ursa hadn't stopped crying, but she had ceased shouting for Cicero and Gracchus. Commodus knew who Gracchus was. He wondered if Cicero was her father.
Galen examined the girl and calmed her. He looked over at Commodus for a moment then back at her. He took her by the shoulders and stood with her. He turned towards the door, holding her around the shoulders comfortingly.
"I'll take her back to her quarters and treat her there. She will need to lie down and rest for a day. I'm afraid she's been terribly upset by something, highness, and will be of little use to you tonight or tomorrow.", Galen said. Commodus nodded and allowed the two to leave. He watched quietly as Galen led the huddled mass of tears and nerves away. Ursa felt relieved at the show of emotion. It had cleansed her spirit somewhat. She walked silently back into her chamber and allowed Galen to administer a draught to her. He watched her and tried to find out as much as possible about her until the potion put her to sleep. Galen was amazed at the small amount she was willing to divulge. He went back to the emperor's bed chamber after she had fallen sound asleep.
Commodus walked around his room unnerved. He always had trouble sleeping, but this was going to remove any want for sleep at all tonight. He sighed and listened for Galen to come back and give him a report. The physician was escorted into the imperial bed chamber a moment later. Commodus turned to him inquisitively. Galen was amused to see that the emperor's concern seemed to be genuine this time.
"She's still innocent, sire.", he stated.
"I gathered that when she began screaming.", he said sighing. "Is she alright now?"
"She's sleeping peacefully. I gave her a draught to ease her into a good calm tonight. I should like to do it again tomorrow. She is an orphan, sire. She has been raised by her brother and has never been away from him before. For a female, that's quite alot to handle.", Galen explained.
"Cicero must be her brother.", Commodus muttered to himself. "What in the world was senator Gracchus doing with her, then? She shouldn't be here, she should be at home with her brother! Orphans are traumatized too greatly to be at court without breeding or among the concubines without training. Shame on him!"
"That aside, sire. I think it's best she remain isolated from you or any direct contact with the Praetorians tomorrow.", Galen stated.
"Why? I want to see how she is fairing in the morning.", Commodus said angrily.
"Understandable, sire, but she is still going to be in a frenzy tomorrow. I will give you an update to her condition. I really don't think she belongs here, sire. I think you should send her home.", Galen said sadly.
Commodus frowned. The girl had seemed too good to be true for a reason. He sighed and nodded. "I will do as you asked, Galen. Thank you for coming so quickly."
"It's a good thing I did, sire. Young girls in distress can fade very easily. They have such delicate constitutions.", Galen said as he got up to leave. "Just busy yourself with another, sire. One with more experience and that is more trained to suit your needs."
He nodded and motioned for the man to leave. Galen bowed and left the room. Commodus felt terrible. He had attacked people before in fits of rage, but usually those people were either used to handling his tantrums or deserving of his wrath. He sighed. He had never made another human being react the way that she had. It was almost terriffying. What if Galen's treatment had been given too late? What if she had been so upset that she faded anyway? Thoughts as terrible and nagging as these began to flood his mind until he could stand it no longer. The girl was asleep, Galen had said so and wouldn't dare lie to him. He could simply go in and see that her breathing and heartbeat were steady. He wouldn't even be noticed. He slipped out of the room and headed into the quarters at the eastern end of the palace where all the concubines were kept. She wasn't laying visibly among the others in the main chamber. He looked around for a moment, then noticed an anteroom off to one side with the door slightly closed. He walked over to it and peeked inside. His heart leapt happily at seeing the young girl from earlier sleeping peacefully on the small bed at the end of this tiny room. He cautiously walked over to her and examined her. She was breathing softly and seemed to have simply fallen asleep. There were no signs of distress, now. He smiled and touched her forehead gently. She smiled and whispered something before shifting and rolling to her side. He reached down to her chest and felt for her heartbeat. It was strong and steady as any normal healthy person. He smiled and touched her face once more before leaving. He was a little relived to hear that she had suffered such a miserable life so far as an orphan. Not because cruelty within him took delight in hearing about the misfortunes of others, but because it meant that he himself had not overturned her entire exsistance and overwhelmed her with sorrow. She simply needed to adjust. He could wait for that. She didn't need to be sent home, he just needed to be patient. In her dreams, Ursa relived the past few days, but a little more calmly. She began to compile a plan for gathering information and ensuring her survival at the same time. Both young individuals had quite a hard few days ahead of them. Hopefully now, they would not be facing this alone.