Title: By the North Sea
Fandom: TV Series - Episode 3.04 - 9 Crimes
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None really, set mid episode.
Disclaimer: I made no money from the writing of this fic. First time playing in the True Blood Sandbox. Comments are always welcome. Thanks to wintergreen126 for the beta work.

Pam is convinced it is the loss of my Maker that is increasing my desire for Sookie, convinced that my emotions are all over the place due to my grief. She even offered to make me a Midol laced True Blood if I didn't get over my emotional state.

I was not amused by my Child's impetuousness.

Though her offer to hire a new dancer had at first taken my mind off of my grief, and Yvetta had been a lovely distraction, for the both of us. My lack of control over my feelings was unsettling. Making me feel, well, disturbingly human.

I hadn't lied when I told Sookie that was how she made me feel. Her tears had awakened something inside me I had long thought dead. Made me feel things, want things, things I hadn't felt in centuries, if not longer.

She had surprised me the night of Bill's kidnapping. Showing up all fight and fire, convinced I had stolen away her love, it was half the reason I had goaded her regarding her missing boyfriend's stamina. And her surprise regarding my own was why I had hinted to my desires.

Though she may have been fighting it with every bit of moral fiber she possessed, a quickening heartbeat heard only by a vampire's ears betrayed her. Her bond with me through my blood only served to verify that she was not as immune to my charms as she pretended to be.

And being nude in front of her didn't hurt.

Her tears the next night were indeed disturbing. I felt an overwhelming desire to reach out and pull her to me. To comfort and cosset, to protect her and tell her to forget about Bill Compton. To prove to her that I would make her every desire come true and to show her how I can be more gentlemanly and caring than that child vampire she cares so much for could ever be.

She discounts herself far too much. Her abilities looked down on by those small minded, backwater people in her town. But her value to me doesn't lie solely in her ability to know people's thoughts. She is the first human to stand up to me.

Ever.

She is not swayed by good looks or by charm. She is not intimidated by my presence. I am intrigued and much to my chagrin, I am becoming more infatuated with her by the day. The fire in her eyes when she is arguing with me does more for my desires than all the dancers I've ever had before my throne in Fangtasia.

I did risk a lot when I told Sookie about my past, but it wasn't regarding my history. It was in the dereliction of my duties regarding the Queen. She had given me an order, and by being on Sookie's front porch, I was defying it. The werewolf had been a surprise, if not an unexpected one. I had not honestly thought they would come after Sookie so soon after taking Bill. The flood of memories at the sight of the brand had startled me, and before I knew what I was doing I had ripped out the creature's neck. Godric and I had been searching for this pack for far longer than I cared to think about. They were dangerous, and if they were after Sookie, she was in more trouble than she realized.

At least she had invited me in to her home. Of course if she winds up dead in Jackson, I'll never have the opportunity to set foot in her abode again.

Godric told me on more than one occasion that a vampire is never at the mercy of his emotions, but watching him make his decision to meet the sun, I doubt he thought that at the end. I have regrets about Godric. I don't want to have them about Sookie.

There is too much peril in what has been happening the last few days. The Queen is losing her grip on reality, I have an intense feeling of foreboding regarding the Magister, and the human I find myself thinking about far too often is in mortal danger.

And I, I am sitting on my throne, fantasizing about a domesticity with Sookie that makes my body ache with loneliness. I want to tell her things. About how I did play by the North Sea as a child. About my wife and children. My village and my battles. About my travels with Godric. About the events in history that I have witnessed firsthand. I want to see what skills she has and show her my own millennium's honed skills. But mostly, I just want to be with her.

Pam gives me a look as Yvetta sulks off. If it wasn't so late already, I'm sure Pam would be giving me a hard time already, but the dawn is approaching and for once I am in need of long day's rest.