You have to leave for a deserted island in three days. What do you bring? (Four items or less)
Hmm…good question. One; my iPod and its charger…does that count as two?
…I'll just make it be one.
My suitcase filled with make-up and clothes, annnnnnnnd…
My cat. Bells.
Why my cat?
Because he's my matchmaker, duh!
…You don't believe me?
WELL, FINE!
Let me tell you my story.
My Cat the Matchmaker
Introduction.
Hmmm…what to say about myself…
Hi. The name's Sakura Haruno.
Remember it. Love it. Know it. Praise it.
I'm twenty-one. Yup, just recently of drinking age.
I loooooooove being twenty-one.
I have pink hair, and green eyes.
I want to be a doctor when I "grow up".
I'm currently in college.
I want to go on a cruise and a road trip.
I dislike spiders, fangirls (do you know how many of them are at my school? Yeah, no), and my science teacher, Orochimaru.
The thing I like to quote the most… "Yes, you can be tank top sexy in 7 days!"
I like Pepsi, my house (c'mon, what's better then a house with a loft where you get to sleep and a game room with tons of games? Including karaoke and DDR?), animals, my friends-
Oh. Speaking of my friends let me give you an introduction to them.
Ino Yamanaka. Platnium blond hair, sparkling baby blue eyes. Loud. My best friend since we were little. She's a shop-a-holic, and she's not as bright as me. But she gets by. Oh! Yeah! She's my shopping buddy.
"Jesus, forehead, get a lyfe and use it to S-H-O-P!"
Next up is Hinata Hyuuga. She's got navy-blue hair and pearl-white/lavender eyes. They're really pretty. She's the third smartest in our group (yes, we all took an IQ test. I landed second. Hinata was third. Ino was last. But that's OK, we still love her), but she's really shy. She has this crush on my male best friend, Naruto, and faints/blushes/stutters whenever he's around (which is a lot). I call it the 'Nervous Hinata Hyuuga Breakdown'. She likes to read and just hang out with me a lot, which is fine with me. She's my library buddy.
"You guys…maybe you should stop…everyone's looking at us…" "What's wrong with that, Hinata?" "…Ino, I thought you said you wanted no one to notice us…" "…Oh. Right."
Then we have Tenten. She's actually my adopted sister. She's cool…no, she doesn't live with me in my house. But that's OK. She's got brown hair she keeps in two buns and chocolate brown eyes. She's the fifth smartest in our group. She's-after me and Ino-one of the loudest in our group. She loves sports, as do I. Any sport? She's there, dragging me along. Not that I mind. I have to keep in shape, don'tcha know?
"When in doubt, run screaming around like a chicken without a head, and hope no one you-just-might-like-a-tiny-bit notices you. But, if he/she does, act like you don't really care. If they truly like you, they'll see underneath your weirdness…got that, Saku?"
Next? Temari no Sabaku. She has dirty blond hair that she keeps in four ponytails and green eyes. She's been friends with me since sophomore in high school. She's the fourth smartest in our group. She's smart, and a bit violent. She's the one who deals with the fangirls who get in our way. She's another sports buddy with me 'n' Tenten, but she's my movie buddy. She's, like, OBSESSED with movies. As am I. Any movie…we're there.
"Listen, girlie. You think you're ALL THAT, but in reality, you're just below me 'n' my friends. So back off, 'kay, little one? If I hear you insult one of my friends again, you'll wish you'd never stepped foot in this place. Oh, and you probably won't have to. What can I say? I have...connections."
And last, but DEFINITELY not least, I have to include her…Sia Uchiha. The smartest in our group. She's a seriously goofball. She's SO random, it makes all of us laugh. If we're sad, all she has to say is 'pickles' and we're instantly clutching our stomachs, laughing so hard. She has black hair and forest green eyes. Her secret talent-believe this or not-only second after being random, is surfing. Yes, ya heard right, surfing. I don't know a thing about it, but, apparently, she's really good. She's won quite a few trophies for it.
"…Uh. Right. Now I have to say something funny, sarcastic, and random…WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM, GOD? …Oh. You do. Fine then…I AM THE EPITOME OF RANDOM BLANKETS! Happy now?"
Four of us work together at a café (Sia, Ino, Hinata, and myself).
Along with Naruto, Kiba Inuzuka (my ex) (we're still good friends though) Shikamaru Nara, one of Ino's OTHER (besides me) childhood best friends, and Neji Hyuuga, Hinata's cousin.
Tenten doesn't work there, but she has a serious crush on Neji.
Temari used to work there.
Until she got fired.
For "being mean" to one of the customers.
Hey, she was just protecting Hinata!
Oh, yeah. Temari, Tenten, and Sia are twenty-two. Hinata and Ino are twenty-one like mwa.
So yeah, that's me and my friends…
WAIT!
I forgot.
I have a cat.
He's an AMAZING cat. Completely insane, but, like owner like pet, I guess.
His name is Bells.
And he's a boy magnet.
Seriously.
I'm not even playin' with you.
He's become our god.
Like Sia once said,
"Oh great cat of wisdom! My lovely, purring, boy magnet! Bring me my dream boy…NOW!"
Five minutes later, we bumped into Sia's next boyfriend.
They stayed together for a year.
A year, people.
He even got me my ex, Kiba-even though Kiba hates cats.
Seriously.
My cat jumped out of my arms. Ran around the corner. Glomped Kiba.
When everything was all sorted out, he gave me his number.
"Just in case," He'd said.
Riiiiiiight.
We stayed together for almost a year.
Last year, Bells even got Temari her swear-a-holic boyfriend Hidan-they only stayed together for three months, but, while it lasted, it lasted.
Oh. Yeah-you don't want to know the details…trust me.
My Bells got ALSO got Ino with her most serious boyfriend-Kankuro.
They lasted…wait for it…wait…
Two years.
(OK, so it helped that Kankuro is Temari's brother, but, whatever)
This is no scam, people.
Bells even got Hinata her ex boyfriend Shino (which was before she met Naruto). And they lasted for one and a half years.
See-I'm telling the truth.
We even have a code for using Bells. Seriously.
…OK, it also has to deal with other stuff in our friendship, but, whatever.
My Cat the Matchmaker
Our code is simple…ish.
That's what makes it easy to remember and live by.
Three sections.
Six rules per section.
And bam.
The first section is Love.
Only because Ino has a lot of influence over us, no matter what we all say.
Rule 1 is mine.
And you will, no matter what, stay by your friends, no matter what your significant other at ANY point in time says. Best friends are the best connection you have to the world. So…if they say something's wrong with him, girl, SOMETHING'S WRONG!
Example A.
Tenten went out with this boy…Rock Lee.
OH MY GOD, MY EYES!
Green spandex.
Bowl cut hair.
Gigantic eyebrows.
Shudder.
Sia shook her by the shoulders five days in it (we SWORE we'd give him a chance) and told her…
"Dump this boy before I kick you out of the group."
Now, she doesn't have that power (that's me, Temari, and Ino. I guess you could call us the leaders) but it scared Tenten out of her wits.
So, she 'obeyed' (Only because she didn't know that Sia didn't have the power) and dropped Lee.
You're probably thinking, 'That's mean" but, seriously…
Green spandex.
Always saying 'youth'.
Bowl cut.
Bushy eyebrows.
…Good, you're getting the idea.
Rule 2 is Ino's.
No matter what your girls say, you are entitled to a FIVE DAY period to try your new boy toy-I mean, boyfriend out. This is also known as your grace period. DON'T FORGET TO HAVE FUN!
Example B (though Example A is just as good in this case).
Sia went out with a boy named Zaku.
Worst decision of her life, TRUST me.
We graciously extended to her the five-day grace period.
Then told her to kick him to the curb.
She ignored us, and…
Well.
Let's just say he broke her heart.
So Temari did what any good friend would do (even though we told her, listen, Sia, HE IS BAD!) and kicked his ass.
Problem solved.
Rule 3 is Hinata's.
Your friends, believe it or not, have a good eye. So don't be afraid to tell them who your current crush is. They know a whole lot more then you think they do.
Example C.
Hinata.
Naruto.
Must I say more?
He is SOOOOO right for her.
Now, if only he would stop being so dense and finally see the reason why she always faints around him!
Rule 4 is Tenten's.
Love is a dangerous game. SO…please…girlfriend, check out the playing field before you dive into the game.
I think that's pretty self explanatory…
WHAT? YOU'RE CONFUSED?
Oh, fine.
Example D.
Temari. And…
OK, I'm not going to even say his name, I'm sooooo scared-
What? OK, fine.
Kabuto.
Oh god.
Time for a shudder.
Yeah.
Turns out he was dating five other girls at the same time.
When she found out, she kicked him in the balls.
Way ta go, Tema!
Rule 5 is Temari's.
Always consult your girls during while you're dating-especially during the five day grace period.
Example E (referring back to Example A, here).
Yes.
I'm still upset about Tenten and Lee.
During that week, we barely saw Tenten.
'Til we bombarded her house, dragged her to the mall, got her some new clothes, and sat her down at a burger place and gave her a stern-talking to.
You don't want this punishment; trust me (I've had to go through it too. The shopping was OK, but the stern-talking-too wasn't).
Rule 6 is Sia's.
In relationships, there must always be a certain level of trust. You MUST trust your partner (unless you KNOW something is wrong) and you have to let them trust you. Also, you need good communication.
A-hem. I'm not going to bother with the example.
…It will embaress me.
And anyways, I need to get to the mall (where I'm meeting my girls) with Bells, because I have a feeling Mr. Right is waiting.
…See? Bells even transfers over his psychic powers to me!
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Author's Notes a.k.a Everything You Ever Wanted 2 Know and Everything You Didn't Want 2 Know About This Fic:
Ummmm...Hi.
Yes, here I am again and yes, this is a new ongoing fic.
Why is this here? Well, first of all, Camp Month only has one more chapter and I'm hastily writing the remainder of the Fainting oneshots.
And, besides, this WOULD NOT leave me ALONE, and it's almost finished. Yayz...so...no worries about me being really hasseled...ish.
So...what can I say about this fic?
It was MEANT to be a oneshot but it kept growing...and it will probably have eight chapters. And the chapters are each like their own little oneshot (except for this one).
All the chapters' lengths will be inconsistent, but, eh, what's done is done.
It's a...little different then my normal style but, before I came to ffnet, I was a total Sakura-narrative-writer. When I got here, I kinda...dropped that. I've been reading some Sakura-narrative fics lately and was inspired to pick it back up. Eh, whatever. I think it's turning out really well.
(This fic was inspired by lots of different fics. Damn, I can't name them all and I certainly couldn't count them all!)
My Cat the Matchmaker has been my baby for a while now. You know that oneshot I was complaining about? (...you don't? Oh, well, it was on my prof...eh whatever) Yeah, this is it. It certainly has...evolved. -sweatdrop- You know stories, they take themselves and charge off in a completely different direction then what you were aiming for. Er, hello, here's one of those kind right here! -points-
Anyways...I'd like to think a certain friend/reviewer, sheknowswhosheisthankyouveryMUCH!, because while I was writing this (and...while I'm still writing this) I have been constantly "complaining-ish' about it.
Eh, so yeah.
THANKS A BUNCH DOHl!
Also, this was the beginning and I haven't changed it that much but...while I was writing I was having lots of difficulties. Ya see, I'm used to writing in Sia's perspective so I'm sorry if, in the future of this fic or in this 'chapter' you get a little confused. Once I'm done writing the entire thing (and posting it) I'll go back and 'fully edit' it...I think.
Eh. Whatever-if I get to it, I'll letcha know.
OK, so it's a little late to say this but WARNING: THIS STORY INCLUDES AN OC/SIBLING INSERT that goes by the name of Sia Uchiha. She's my baby. Most of my readers (god I sound like a frickin' magazine write now, shi-eesh) know about her but if you don't, please feel free to contact me and ask about her!
So...this is a new type of style for me. I thought I'd give it a shot-it's going to transfer from narrative at the beginning to dialogue and then narrative at the ending again (probably-ish).
Where did I get this idea? Good question. I have a cat, who's kindasortamaybe spoiled like Bells. Yeah. The rest came to me in a dream (I'm being totally serious).
So...yeah. I hope you all like (d) it and will continue reviewing and reading as I get the chapters up!
Please leave your thoughts, because...if I don't get any reviews, I'm going to remove this fic and I won't continue.
I'm serious.
I am NOT, I repeat, I am NOT accepting flames, alrightie?
Good.
SO STAY AWAY! I HAVE A FIRE EXTINGUISHER! SO WATCH OUT!
Yeah.
...Wow I just rambled a lot there, about absolutely nothing...OK, it wasn't NOTHING, but...
I am now going to stop talking.
Ja ne,
Lady Maybelle of Confusion
P.S. One more thing, so you all don't eat me out-each chapter is based around a different couple. SaixIno is next chapter. Sorry, SasuSaku fans, SasuSaku doesn't appear until the seventh chapter, but it's going ot be a long-ish chapter, kay-kay?