Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
Summary: He couldn't look at her face. That soft, innocent face marred with the pain of a broken heart. So instead…'Just this once it's worth it to cry.' Shika/Saku
Just This Once
Shikamaru let the soothing sound of the stream wash over him as he rested his head on his interlocked fingers and stared at the clouds slowly passing by overhead. It was relaxing, watching them drift apart and rejoin, just changing the slightest bit to become a new creature or object in his eyes.
A good way to pass the time. A good way to forget that they were in a war. That he was a soldier. That the next time out in the field might be his last. Yes, it was a good way to pass the time until his death.
Ironically enough, the war had torn apart people and hopes and dreams as easily as the wind had shredded the clouds. So maybe it didn't help him forget. A bit of cloud here could be an arm lost in battle…a wisp of cloud here could be the memory a loved one…a clump of clouds here, soon joined by others, could be a cluster of fallen hopes and dreams…
A shadow fell over him but he didn't tense. He had sensed her coming a while ago and wondered how long she would watch him before finally coming up. She sat down next to him and leaned back on her arms to watch him, not the clouds.
She then laid her head on his chest and let her eyes drift to the white masses of fluff floating above her.
"Watching clouds again, huh Shikamaru."
Shikamaru let the corners of his lips turn upwards slightly, "Yeah, Sakura."
The two continued to stare at the clouds for only a short period of time before Sakura fisted her small hands in Shikamaru's fishnet shirt, "It's time to go, Shika. It's time to go." Her voice trembled, showing the weakness that she so desperately wanted to hide.
Shikamaru glanced at the pink haired chuunin on his chest and he closed his eyes.
'Crying is too troublesome.'
He felt the sobs that wracked her small body and the hot tears that soaked into his shirt.
'But maybe…'
He rested his arms on her back for just a few seconds before tightening his hold and encircling her entirely in his arms. Her tears now ran down his neck and he could smell the sugary vanilla smell of her shampoo and bodywash.
He would know. Afterall, he was the one who had gotten it for her last Christmas.
Shikamaru tightened his hold around her again and the two clutched at each other as if they were the other's lifeline. "Shika. Promise me you'll come back? Promise?"
Shikamaru closed his eyes and took deeper breaths, trying to breathe in her scent and memorize it, as it could be the last time smelled it. He shook his head and tried to keep his voice from shaking, "No, Sakura…you know I can't. I wish I could oh kami I wish I could…but I can't. That'd be unfair to both of us."
She sobbed again but nodded, understanding. Understanding that he'd never purposely hurt her, that he'd never give her false hope and that, judging by the tone of his voice he'd never come back.
"Too troublesome for you, huh Shikamaru?"
She attempted to lighten the mood but failed miserably as her small laughs came out more like sobs. Shikamaru suddenly sat up and pulled Sakura into his lap. He held her face in his hands and kissed her. Hard.
She closed her eyes and relished the feel of his slightly chapped lips against hers and readily parted her lips when his tongue swiped against them for entrance. She wished that that moment could've lasted forever, but it couldn't, and it didn't. It ended all too soon and she hugged Shikamaru one more time.
'But maybe just this once…'
A small tear escaped Shikamaru's closed eyes and he pulled back—before he could tell her that he'd be back to matter what, before he could lie to her and give her false hope, before he could convince himself that she was worth abandoning his village for and that running away and living a simple life as a farmer wouldn't be too bad—and kissed her on the forehead.
He couldn't look at her face. That soft, innocent face marred with the pain of a broken heart. So instead…
'Just this once it's worth it to cry.'
A/N: -sigh- I'm not sure how I wanted that to turn out and it has me kinda depressed now. Maybe I'll do a sequel...well, only if I have enough reviews wanting them. This also has an alternate ending that makes it a one-sided Ino/Shika. Please review and tell me whether you want me to write either a sequel or the alternate ending.