A/N: by the way I know the title sucks so no hate Ok so this is based on when Lily said Barney wanted to be a violinist in the episode The Leap in season 4. sorry if that's going back too far

Lily was pissed. She was pissed and trying not to show it and doing that pretty damn job at it if she did say so herself especially because the person she had to keep this from was Marshall. As in the guy she was married to. As in the guy she told everything. As in the man who she shared a freaking toothbrush with. Yep, she had to keep a secret from him because it was about him. She wished he would fallow his dream of being an environmental lawyer instead of being a GNB slave. She saw how upset the job made him, how hard it was for him to even get dressed in the morning.

She blamed one person for all this: Barney Stinson. She (as well as everyone else in their little gang) had often asked themselves why they were friends with Barney but each time they always were able to find reasons. He'd passed her little front porch test although in most scenarios he was out surfing or making out with some hot chick in their beach side home despite being over 80. Lily had to admit, she couldn't imagine him aging, growing old and dying.

Whatever, it didn't matter if Barney was a good friend or not, she was still pissed at him for keeping Marshall at GNB. Sure she was thankful for getting Marshall a much needed job but then he put him under some sort of spell that made Marshall think he actually wanted to stay at GNB.

So here she was, sitting at the gang's booth in MacLaren's, all alone, sipping a giant beer and hating one of her best friends in the world.

"Hey Lily, what are you doing here alone? I thought you and Marshall were Siamese twins now or something."

Speak of the devil, Barney slid into the both in front of Lily looking as smug and dangerously charming as ever with his suit and sly smile. Normal Lily would've jumped to defend her and Marshall more than slightly codependent relationship but pissed off Lily just rolled her eyes and ordered another beer. Barney was still laughing at his own joke but he took time to order a scotch from the waitress.

"But seriously," he said, "where are Marshal and Ted?"

Lily shrugged. "God knows where Ted is. Marshall is at home working his ass off on some report for that bank."

She spit out the last words as if they were poison. Barney frowned at her.

"Hey, GNB can be a good place. I love it-"

"While then you're just lucky!" Lily interrupted, yelling.

Barney stared at her in shock, Lily rarely yelled, at least not in an angry way. He opened his mouth to speak but the pissed off alien that took over Lily wasn't finished.

"You get to enjoy your job but some of us aren't that lucky! Some people hate their jobs. Some of us actually have to work at our jobs and... God I don't even know how to insult your job since you never tell us anything about it. What the hell do you do for a living?"

She waited for the usual scoff and "Please" that came with asking Barney that question but it never came. Barney seemed to be in shock from Lily's rant. He'd pressed himself against the back of his seat as if in a desperate attempt to be that much further from Lily. His face bore a place look of surprise and... Was that sadness?

"Do you think I've always wanted this job?" Barney asked in a small, sad voice that was so unlike his own that Lily felt a little uncomfortable and more than a little guilty.

"Well yeah," she said, reaching over a napkin and shredding it, a nervous habit, "the job just seems like a perfect for you."

Barney suddenly seemed to be angry. "Well, I didn't always want this job," he said before taking a drink of scotch, "Do you think I stood up in kindergarten and said I wanted to..." He seemed to catch himself. He couldn't say what his job was. "...work for a bank?"

Lily took the already shredded napkin and begin tearing the pieces in half, her feeling of guilt growing. "No, I didn't think that. I guess you just seemed to like your job so much."

Barney nodded, satisfied. "I don't think anyone really becomes what they say in Kindergarten."

"I did," Lily said, Barney raised his eyebrows in disbelief, "and so did Marshall. Well, Marshall said he wanted to be an environmental lawyer but he's halfway there, he's a lawyer. As for me, I stood up in kindergarten and said I wanted to teach it someday. Sure back then I was just sucking up to my teacher but the idea grew on me."

Barney rolled his eyes. "Well that's all fine and dandy for the two of you but the reality is that most people don't get to live out their childhood dreams. Most of us have to wake up and realize that not everyone is smart enough to be a doctor, not everyone is strong enough to be a firefighter, not everyone can be an astronaut, princess don't exist, people-"

"Okay what did you say you wanted to be? Clearly, you feel pretty strongly about this topic."

Barney grabbed his drink and got up. "As much as I love having strange, in depth discussions with you about childhood dreams, I could be getting laid right now. If you'll excuse me."

Lily grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. "No Barney, whatever you said obviously effected you. Now what was it?"

Barney pointed at a blonde sitting at the bar. "You think she looks dumb enough to sleep with me?" he asked.

"Yes, but she stuffs her bra. Now Barney! Tell me," she was practically begging at this point.

She needed to know this. For some reason Barney didn't talk very much about his childhood or as she came to think about it, himself in general unless he was saying how awesome he was for some reason but he didn't talk about memories.

"You'll just laugh, everyone else did, even the teacher," Barney said.

Lily stared at him. Had people in his class really laughed at his dream for what he wanted to be. She would never do that. Lily was a pretty judgmental person sometimes but in her opinion laughing at someone else's dream was one of the worst things you could do. Maybe that's why she made such a good teacher.

She placed a hand on Barney's shoulder and rubbed it gently.

"I won't laugh Barney, I promise," she said sincerely.

Barney shook his head, not looking at her. His head was low and he was staring into his scotch. He was acting like a toddler who didn't want to share a toy and Lily was starting to get aggravated.

"Barney, I'm a kindergarten teacher. I'm practically paid to say 'you can do anything' and I've heard every occupation out there. A little girl in my class came up to me two days ago and said she wanted to be a brain surgeon and a professional dancer on the weekends. Another girl said she wanted to be a Victoria's Secret Model because her brother said they got all the hot guy. Have I laughed at any of those kids? Hell no and I won't laugh at you. So come on, what did little Barney Stinson want to be that was so horrible?"

Barney sighed. He couldn't believe he was doing this. He was about to break a vow of silence made when he was six just because his nosey friend who was terrible at keeping secrets wanted to know something about him. She would probably go blab about it to everyone anyway and make him into those you can whatever you want to be posters for her students so they would know how with a lot of work (and an insane amount of luck) they can be anything. For some reason, Barney found himself not caring if she did all those things.

"I wanted to be... a musician," he said, chickening out at the last second.

Lily raised her eyebrow in a 'that's total bullcrap' kind of way. "A musician?" she said slowly, clearly not believing any of it.

Barney nodded in a sad, solemn kind of way hoping to show the fake pain that the jeering laughter of his peers had caused.

"That's such bull, just about everyone in my class wants to be a singer. One boy even said his hero is Justin Beiber," she suddenly stopped and stared dramatically off into the distance, "you never quite get through hearing him say those words."

She came back to herself and turned back to Barney. "Also that can't have laughed because you aren't good enough. I've heard you sing and think you're fantastic. So really, that's all crap."

Barney looked outraged. "How dare you accuse me of lying! My childhood community just happened to be... very anti-musical."

Lily shook her head and laughed in a defeated sort of way. "You know what Barney? I'm done. You can lie to those dumb sluts you somehow convince to sleep with you but I can't believe you feel the need to lie to one of your best friends about something that happened to you years ago."

She got up and started towards the door, ready to go home and soak in a hot bath and forget about the huge stress induced knot that was Barney Stinson.

"Violinist."

Lily turned around, most of her thinking she'd misheard or that Barney hadn't spoken at all. He was staring at the table in disbelief like he couldn't believe he'd just allowed himself to say that.

"What?" she asked.

Barney sighed and looked up at Lily. "I said I wanted to be a Violinist. Everyone laughed but my mom took me to lessons. I actually got really good and wasn't afraid to say that until high school when people really started getting mean. I gave it up completely in college. Go ahead, say your jokes, I've heard them all."

He showed Lily a sad smile and closed his eyes, preparing himself for the verbal assault that was sure to follow.

Instead he found that he was being pulled into a warm hug. Lily let him go after several moments.

"Thanks for telling me Barney. I don't think it's stupid. Do you still play at all?"

Barney didn't know whether to trust her or not, what if she just wanted proof that what he'd said was true so the guys could laugh at it. Wait, he was the evil one who would do something like that, not Lily.

"Yeah, I sometimes play," he said, "Do you want to hear me sometime?"

Lily smiled, glad that he was opening up to her.

"I would love that Barney," she said, she glanced at her watch which told her it wasn't even midnight.

"How about right now?" she suggested.

"What about Marshall?" Barney asked.

Lily laughed and rolled her eyes. "Like I said, he's working on that report and probably won't even notice I'm gone."

Barney laughed and replied, "Okay then, let's go."

The pair paid for their drinks and walked out of MacLaren's. They hailed a cab and took it the twenty minute was perhaps the strangest cab drive Barney had ever experienced. He wasn't used to riding in a cab with one other women without making out or preparing for sex or having sex or something. It was then that both of them realized something.

"We don't spend that much time together," Barney commented.

"I know," Lily responded.

There was the two weeks that Lily lived at Barney's apartment after her move to San Francisco but most of that just consisted of her walking in at the right time and other than that she was just looking for a job or in a dark space crying over her and Marshall's relationship. Over the past couple of months Lily had been a bit like Barney's therapist with his feelings for Robin. But other than that, they just hung out with the gang.

They got to Barney's apartment which was dark and unhomy as ever. Barney motioned for her to stay in the living room while he went into his bedroom. A soft and beautiful music reached Lily's ears. She let out a mixture of a sound of surprise at Barney's skill and a sigh of contentment. He made his way out to the living room, he turned to Lily and raised his eyebrows in a silent question she understood. 'Am I good?' She nodded. The music he was playing was unfamiliar yet it made her remember things as if they happened while she'd been listening to this song. It was a melody that made her want to laugh and cry at the same time. It made her feel like she was flying as she listened.

All too soon it was over. Lily immediately began clapping. Barney took a small bow and started back to his bedroom and this time Lily followed. He put away his violin with care as Lily watched.

"What is that song called? It's amazing."

Barney stopped in his work of putting rosin on his bow. "You really think it's amazing?" he asked.

"Yes!" Lily said, "it's beyond amazing. I don't think they've invented a word for how beautiful that song is yet."

"Well I'm glad you think so because I wrote it," Barney said, snapping his violin's case closed.

Lily's jaw dropped. "No way," she said.

Barney nodded. "I really did. I've kind of been working on it wince I was ten. I only finished it two years ago."

Lily was stunned. She never thought Barney Stinson could create something so beautiful.

"Can I maybe have a copy?" Lily asked.

Barney shrugged and handed her a CD which he'd grabbed out of his violin case.

"Thanks," she said, "I think I'm going to head back to my place."

"Goodnight," Barney said, waving goodbye.

Lily turned back. She just had one more thing to do. "Oh and Barney?" He looked back up at her.

"Yeah?"

"You make a damn good violin player."

Barney smiled at his friend, he should thank someone everyday for his friends. "Thanks. Oh and Lily? You make a damn good kindergarten teacher."

Yep, I love those two. So adorable. Reviews are Love.

Peace, Love, Barney Stinson

Julez