My Edward,
Holy crow! I can't believe that I can actually say that! You are mine! You…of all people…are mine! I know I'm rambling, which you seem to find amusing on a regular basis, but it's all so mindboggling. It's not even that you are a vampire; that has absolutely nothing to do with it. It's the fact that, as ordinary as I am, you found me worthy of your love. I cannot fathom how you find me desirable, but Mister, you better keep it up!
I know that it is ridiculous for me to be writing this letter to you; you and I spend nearly every moment together, but while you are hunting this weekend with Emmett and Jasper, I want to give you a glimpse of what's going on inside my head. I know that you can't read my thoughts, and I know that annoys you to no end, so this is my gift to you: a chance for you to see the unseeable.
Ever since we met, you have made me aware of myself in a way that I never knew was possible. Of course, when we met it wasn't necessarily the most endearing thing that you could have done. I've never been the kind of girl to go for perfume, but that day I was wishing for the most luxurious smelling perfume on the market; anything to get that grimace off of your face. Now, I'm aware of every heart beat, every hair on my head that moves in the wind, every inch of skin that yours comes in contact with. Oh, and the heart beat! I am so aware of when my heart behaves and beats normally, and when it doesn't behave and you have to keep me from fainting. I haven't ever dated before, but there have been people that I have cared about. Not one of them ever made me as aware of myself as you do. There are times when I cannot feel my heart beating until you look at me. It's the most exhilarating feeling in the world!
Something else you do is make me aware of how I affect you. No one else made me aware of that. I know that you are as loath to pull away from one of our kisses as I am, maybe more. I know that when we go to the meadow, you purposefully sit downwind of me so that when the wind blows you can get a stronger taste of my scent. I can see what it does to you, but not in the "I need to feast on her blood" kind of way.
I love you. I can't believe how much of me there is in those words. When I say that to you, I'm giving you all of me. I'm giving you everything that you cannot take for yourself because it might hurt me. When I tell you that I love you, or I need you, I'm giving it all to you. I will always love you. I will always need you.
So, love, enjoy your deer or mountain lion, but hurry back to me. It's so hard to sleep without you to hold me. First off, it gets way too hot in my room at night without you here. Second, I need you to protect me from the things that go bump in the night. I just realized how silly that sounded; when you are with me, I'm sleeping with the things that go bump in the night. I'm curling up next to them and begging them not to leave. And I am perfectly fine with that!
Forever yours,
Bella