Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel comics or characters or movies, and am making no money off of this fic.
AN: Written for the October 19th Whumptober prompt: exhaustion.
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Displacement by luvsanime02
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Some days, Steve Rogers wonders if he can stop yet. Just for a little while, just for a few days, a few years, a few hours or minutes. See, most of the time, Steve accepts that his war will never be over. He signed up to become Captain America, and okay, maybe Steve didn't really understand at the time just how much of a permanent commitment he was making, but still, this is his country. He wants to fight and keep his country safe. That has never changed.
Steve feels so old, though, sometimes. It's not something that shows on his face yet, but Steve never expected to live this long. He doesn't mean all of the time that he spent frozen, either. No, physically, Steve never really expected to live a long life. He'd been too sick, all of the time. His body wasn't nearly strong enough to support his spirit.
When they asked him if he wanted to volunteer, Steve jumped at the chance, and yes, he'd still make the same decision all over again. He'd make it again a thousand times, but for Steve, there's never been any other choice, really. Still, he wishes that he knew back then what getting older would do to him.
He's stronger than ever before. He's stronger than most. He's a soldier, and Steve knows that his fight is far from over, will never be over, but he never expected this fatigue to creep up on him, for exhaustion to set in.
Steve's young still, by most standards, but he's spent so much of his life now fighting. Steve's been fighting his whole life, for one reason or another, and he won't ever stop. Can't stop. Steve just wouldn't be him if he wasn't throwing himself into more fights. Every day, there's a new battle, and something new to fight for.
In a way, though, Steve's getting more and more tired by the day. He wonders, now, if one day he'll just wind down, if the exhaustion will weigh down his limbs until Steve falls and can't ever get back up again. He never worried about that happening before. Steve was so young then, ready and eager and willing to jump into the fray as many times as it takes. He relished the adrenaline rush, and the feeling of doing what's right, of not letting those weaker be stomped into the ground by the strong.
Steve still wants to be that person, but he's so tired. He wonders, now, when that younger person died. He wonders who he even is anymore, and how to get that more naive, energetic person back. Steve knows that it's useless to try, but he still does, and that makes him feel even more exhausted than before.
Steve is an old man in a young person's body, and he doesn't look it, but he definitely feels it now. He feels age sinking its claws into his chest and devouring what's left of him, piece by piece. Steve wonders if someone can die of old age before they're even fifty, and thinks that maybe he might find out, one of these days.