Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Note: Selection in italics taken from HBP (623-624)

Note (2): The story is set in a slightly different alternate universe where the war with Voldemort has not yet come to a conclusion. It will not affect the plot too much, just thought I should point it out.

Enjoy!

Prologue:

"You see!" Said a strange voice. Tonks was glaring at Lupin. "She still wants to marry him, even though he's been bitten! She doesn't care!"

"It's different," said Lupin, barely moving his lips and looking suddenly tense. "Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely---"

"But I don't care either! I don't care!" said Tonks, seizing the front of Lupin's robes and shaking them. "I've told you a million times…"

"And I've told you a million times," said Lupin, refusing to meet her eyes, staring at the floor, "that I am too old for you, too poor…too dangerous…"

"I've said all along that you're taking a ridiculous line on this, Remus," said Mrs. Weasley…

"I am not being ridiculous," said Lupin steadily. "[Nymphadora] deserves somebody young and whole."

"But she wants you," said Mr. Weasley, with a small smile. "And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so."

He gestured sadly to his son, lying between them.

"This is…not the moment to discuss it," said Lupin, avoiding everybody's eyes as he looked around distractedly….

---

As it turned out, there never had been a moment to discuss it; thought Remus Lupin, regretfully, as he remembered that fateful night three years earlier. Nymphadora had stormed out of the hospital wing in tears and he had never spoken to her again. He had glimpsed her at Dumbledore's funeral, but on that mournful day he had gone out of his way not to cross paths with her. He had known that in his distraught state, he would not have been able to control himself around her. That mournful day, which was a blur of faces and emotions, was the last time he had seen Nymphadora Tonks.

She had however, possessed his thoughts, and haunted his dreams every moment since then. He had done everything in his power to end the hold that the young Metamorphmagus had on his soul. During the last three years, he had thrown himself into the hunt for Voldemort and the remaining death eaters. He had gone back undercover with numerous werewolf gangs, attempting to discover any information he could that would help his side win the war.

His side…it sounded strange to think of it like that. In addition to his other measures, he had also cut himself off completely from his friends and the other members of the Order. He had kept in touch with the Weasleys and Harry and the rest for a while, but it had become too difficult. At first, everyone had been trying to convince him to change his mind; and then, there had been too many awkward silences after "her" name had slipped out when everyone was trying so hard not to say it. So now, he worked alone, and sent any useful information he was able to gather in secret code to Headquarters via owl.

There was another side to his self-induced exile that he was not particularly proud of. In an attempt to erase Nymphadora Tonks from his psyche, he had crawled into bed with any witch who would have an old, poor, werewolf, or any muggle woman who didn't know the difference. His sorry state didn't leave him many opportunities for such sordid distraction, but he took what he could get and regretted it the moment the fleeting oblivion had passed.

Today was such a day. Today, one thousand and ninety-five days since he had last laid eyes on the keeper of the key to his heart, he was lying beside a haggard looking witch, who was smoking a fag; on a dingy, stained mattress, in a very seedy brothel.

Needless to say, Remus Lupin had reached an all time low. He grimaced when the witch beside him turned toward him and ran her fingers across his bare, scarred chest.

"You up for another round then? Will cost you extra, of course." She smiled coquettishly.

"Piss off!" Remus snapped.

"Well, well, that's not what you were saying fifteen minutes ago, was it now?" She inched her hand lower toward his groin.

"I said piss off!" Remus snarled; in the way only a man who is part wolf can.

The witch cringed away from him, but she recovered quickly. "Fine, fine, it's not like I was enjoying myself anyway, but don't think you can scare me away without paying."

"The money is on the dresser." Remus said; staring at the ceiling.

"Hope you're not expecting any change." The woman sneered before she left.

Remus lay in the dank bed for a long time after the witch had left. He knew that he had been right to turn down Nymphadora, even though he was pretty sure that he had been in love with her before she had fallen for him. He knew this because he had fallen for her before she had known he existed…

It was in the summer of 1994, he had just resigned as Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor at Hogwarts, due to it becoming common knowledge that he suffered from lycanthropy. He had gone to the Ministry in one last attempt to procure honest employment, but even a glowing letter of recommendation from Dumbledore had done little good. Discouraged and ashamed he had wandered into one of the auditoriums where that year's graduating class of aurors was having their matriculation. She had bounded up to receive her certificate, with a large smile on her face, her hair long and flowing and the exact same sickly green color as the awful robes they had to wear. She had grabbed her certificate triumphantly and then, in what he would come to know as true Nymphadora fashion, had tumbled off the stage. He couldn't explain it, after all she was a child, for Merlin's sake, only a few years older than Harry, but he knew right then and there that he loved her. It was only later, when he mentioned the incident to Sirius, over a pint, that he had realized who she was, and he had then promptly received a staunch warning that any romantic action towards Sirius' favorite cousin would not be appreciated. However when she had joined the Order some time later, he had been secretly thrilled….

None of this mattered, however, Remus reminded himself as he lay amidst the tangled sheets pondering his dilemma. He had been right three years ago; Nymphadora deserved someone healthy and her own age, not an old, worn down, social leper; his feelings for her were inconsequential.

Thus, Remus shocked himself, when in a moment of uncharacteristic selfishness; he went to his bag and took out a quill….

---

There never had been a moment to discuss it; Thought Nymphadora Tonks pensively as she held the letter that had just arrived in her hands and remembered that fateful night three years ago. She had stormed out hysterically and had never seen or spoken to Remus Lupin again. She had tried to find him at Dumbledore's funeral, but she had been unsuccessful, and she had never had another opportunity.

She had been too embarrassed to contact him again; after all, had she not pleaded her case numerous times? The final public rejection had been more than she could take. She had gone through some dark times. For two months she refused to even get out of bed because she was convinced her life was over, but Molly had apparated over and put a stop to that with some homemade chicken soup and a sound scolding.

Once she had recovered enough to stand the light of day again, she began spending more and more time at the Burrow, all the while hoping that Remus would drop by or that she would at least hear news of him. If he had shown up, she would of course have run and hid in one of the rooms upstairs, like the mature woman she was, but the situation never materialized. She had never gotten any news of him either. She had been duly informed by the entire Weasley clan, and even by Harry, that they were intervening on her behalf. They had decided that for her own wellbeing, Remus would cease to be mentioned whenever she was around. The last thing they wanted was her retreating to her bedroom again.

Even after the intervention, she had continued to visit the Burrow often, in an attempt to maintain her sanity. It was there, when she was busy de-gnoming the garden for Molly, that she had first met Charlie Weasley…

"Oh blast it all!" Tonks exclaimed as the gnome she was wrestling with escaped her grasp for the umpteenth time and raced to escape over the fence. She looked up angrily when she heard an amused chuckle. "What do you want Ron?" She demanded, but stopped short when she saw the stranger before her. "You're not Ron." She stated.

"No, I'm not." The stranger smiled broadly.

"Well, you certainly look like a Weasley, and I've met them all except Charlie, so you must be him."

"That's right." Charlie said, still grinning.

"Well, are you going to stand there like an oaf, or are you going to give me a hand? Your Mother wants this done by dinner time!"

Charlie dropped to his knees obediently, but he didn't begin working, he simply stared at her.

"What in Merlin's name are you staring at?" She demanded

"I'm sorry, I'm just curious about the identity of the strange girl with the wild blue hair, who insists that I de-gnome my parents' garden the moment I get home from a long stint in Romania…"

"Oh…" Tonks blushed deeply. "Well, I'm Tonks." She said simply.

"Tonks…what kind of name is Tonks?"

Tonks was about to be appropriately outraged but Charlie kept on going, "Oh hang on, Tonks and a Metamorphmagus, you were at Bill and Fleur's wedding right? Hey, didn't we go to Hogwarts together?"….

As it turns out they had gone to school together, they had actually been in the same year. Tonks had often heard his name mentioned. 'Charlie Weasley, the big Gryffindor qudditch stud', but she was a Hufflepuff, and certainly not popular, so they had never met face to face. At the thought, she wondered what all their peers would say now if they knew that weird, clumsy Tonks had been dating the famous Charlie Weasley for over a year now…

She hadn't jumped into his waiting arms, but over time he had worn her down, with his roguish smile and boyish charm, not to mention all the muscles he had developed handling dragons; and now for the first time in a long time Tonks was happy.

Thus, Tonks was genuinely confused by the deep sense of longing that she felt when she read the letter that had just been delivered via owl.

"Nymphadora,

I must see you. I know it is out of the blue. But I made a huge mistake. Please meet me for tea in Diagon Alley on Wednesday at 14:00.

Remus."

Tonks' head began to spin and her hands began to shake. She dropped the letter. Much to her dismay, she had never wanted a cup of tea so much in her life.